.18. Best & Worst
Breaking Your Heart
- Eunna's POV -
I'm glad that I can talk as usual with Yoseob and Junhyung. It's good to see them smile because it means that they are good, right? I was afraid that they will fight for me.
Ah, I'm being cocky just because they love me.
"So do you have lovers?" the MC repeats the fan's question briefly, making me to freeze. "I bet all of your fans will be dying to know the honest answer of this simple question."
I hold my breath. How can I answer this question? Even if I am in a relationship with Yoseob, I can't say it here. Everyone can listen to this interview!
Junhyung is the first one who answers the question, "I don't have one but I will really happy to have one who can understand me."
He flashes me a smile secretly before looking at the MC once again. Since the night, I haven't talked to him as usual but from his smile, I know that we're all good.
I take a glance at Yoseob and I can see an awkward smile curves on his lips. Why do I feel that he is feeling the same like me, that he doesn't know how to answer this question?
"I...," he clears his throat, making a fake cough. At the same time, my heart starts to beat faster as I wait for him to continue.
What will he answer?
"...am in love with someone," he blurts out the words with serious expression. Junhyung turns to stare at him, staring at him in disbelief while the MC and the other staffs look at Yoseob, interested with his answer.
I gasp. I can't believe he gave an answer like that.
"Interesting! Who is the lucky girl?" the MC quickly shoots him with a direct question. His answer will make the entertainment world turn upside down if he gives a wrong answer.
I start to intertwine my fingers under my consciousness, placing them to touch my lips. My eyes meet his; I'm sure he knows that I'm really nervous because he smiles sheepishly to me.
"I have a lot of girlfriends actually," he grins to the MC. "All B2UTIES are my girlfriends!"
I blink. I feel blank for seconds while the MC laughs heartily with Junhyung, teasing Yoseob because of his answer. I just stare at Yoseob.
What did I expect? Seriously.
Did I hope that he would say out my name?
You are really silly, Sun Eunna. There is no way he is going to announce you as your girlfriend. Especially after our big arguments that night.
"And how about you, Eunna?" the MC turns to me with a polite smile. "Do you have someone in your mind now?"
I quickly shift my eyes to the MC. My brain is working fast to find a good answer. What should I say?
"Well, people said that what hurts the most was being so close, so I don't think I want to be hurt for now," I fake laughter. "I think my career is my focus for now."
After around five minutes of sharing our messages to the fans, the interview is over. We give our gratitudes to the MC and the staffs, leaving the recording room, walking to the lobby to wait for the van that will pick us.
"Eunna...," Junhyung breaks the silence between us. Three of us are standing in silence, waiting patiently for our manager who is stuck because of the traffic jam after filling the fuel.
I look at him with the corner of my eyes. I can't look at Yoseob directly; my heart is still aching somehow because of his answer even though I know he didn't have another choice to answer the question.
"I will leave you two. I'll wait for the van at the main gate. I'll call you if he has arrived," Junhyung pats Yoseob's shoulder. "Talk, will you?"
Without waiting for our responds, Junhyung walks away, leaving me and Yoseob alone. We look away once our eyes meet, avoiding to look at each other.
Aigoo, what is Junhyung trying to do?
I want to talk with Yoseob. I really do. But why do all the words I want to say to him suddenly disappear from my mind?
Awkward silence.
"You're really mad, aren't you?" Yoseob finally speaks out.
I don't answer. I just look at the floor. I am not mad at him. Not anymore. But I'm too embarassed to look at Yoseob right now. I don't know what I need to say to him.
"Eunna, I'm...," he sighs heavily. "I'm sorry."
I finally look up to see his face. He looks really tired and sad in the same time. He gives me his apologetic face as he continues, "I don't want to stay like this with you. I don't want to continue this cold war."
Yoseob takes a deep breath, "Can we go somewhere else? I need to talk with you."
I hesitate. Do I really need to talk in private with him? What if I have another fight with him after this? I don't want it to happen but I don't want to be like this forever.
"I always want to try the new cafe around here," I manage a smile. "Can we talk there?"
- Yoseob's POV -
I can't describe how happy I was when she accepted to talk with me. She even suggested to have a dinner together at this new cafe.
I sent a text message to Junhyung, telling him that I will return to the apartment by myself. It's a good luck that I don't have any schedule after the interview.
"It's clever," Eunna chuckles after we ordered something to eat and drink. "How you answered the question, I mean."
"Ah," that's all my reaction is. I grin awkwardly to her.
I was going to say her name out. Really. But when I saw her nervous eyes, I couldn't answer it. I know it would be a big trouble for both of us if I answered it right away. So I diverted the answer.
But my heart was aching when I listened to her answer.
"What hurts the most was being so close."
Does it mean she doesn't want to be close with someone now? With me?
I hurt her deep enough, didn't I?
"Eunna, I'm really sorry about what happened that night," I clench my fists under the table. I need to explain to her about everything. I have the support from all of my members and I want her to know that I do love her. "I didn't mean to argue with you."
"I know," Eunna smiles sweetly to me. "You were being emotional that night. I am the one who needs to apologize for being too sensitive."
This is the perfect time to tell her what I'm feeling.
"Eunna, I-"
"Excuse me, this is your chocolate milkshake," the waiter comes over and puts down the glass in front of Eunna.
Such an anti-.
"Thank you," Eunna mutters to the waiter. He walks away to take another order, making me to curse under my breathe because of the wrong time of interrupting my confession.
"You are saying...," Eunna looks at me, waiting for me to continue but I don't feel to say it out now. I'm blank in mind now.
I don't know why it feels really difficult to say that I love her. Junhyung could do it easy enough. Why can I do it now when she is right in front of me?
"Can we wait for all the orders to come first?" I blurt out. I don't want to be interrupted again. Eunna nods slightly and we wait in silence until our orders come.
I've been thinking while we wait for the food. If I can say it to her with words, I can say it in another way, right?
I am a singer.
Without any warning, I sing the refrain of BEAST's songs to her.
"Nan niga jeil joha niga jeil yeppeo
Jinaganeun gotgot maeryeogi da heulleo
Niga jeil joha neo hanamyeon dwae
Gaseume saegyeo dwo
Niga sesangeseo jeil sojunghae"
I like you the best You’re the prettiest
Wherever you pass by, your charms spill all over
I like you the best and I only need you
I’m going to engrave you in my heart
You’re the most important in my life
Eunna stares at me with surprised look. Slowly, her intertwined fingers cover her lips and I know that she is nervous right now.
"Eunna, I belong with you," I say the words calmly despite the fact that my heart is beating uncontrollably. I think it's going to explode anytime.
"I was jealous with Junhyung. I thought you didn't feel the same with me because you didn't say yes when I asked you the question. I didn't know that I hurt you with my random emotion," finally I spill all of my thoughts to her. "I'm sorry for breaking your heart, Eunna."
"I've felt worse," a tear rolls down on her cheek but a smile curves on her lips. "And I think if I don't have you, I will be in my worst state."
I try to process her words in my mind.
Is she saying...
"How can I stay mad at you?" Eunna wipes away the tear gently. I can't take my eyes off of her as she gives me a bright smile.
"I only have you, Yoseob."
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