.16. Apologize & Lovers
Breaking Your Heart
- Eunna's POV -
I gulp, clenching my fists in silence as I stare at the door. I just need to knock the door, waiting for someone to open it and find Yoseob.
But it is really hard. Even just to raise my hand and knock the door.
Yoseob left me all alone, with the tickets we supposed to watch tonight on the ground. He left me crying under the moonlight and I didn't chase after him.
I can't explain myself to him. He asked me about what happened between me and Junhyung yet I didn't say a word. I don't know what I should say to Yoseob.
My heart wants him to say that he loves me. I know, I'm being selfish when he already asked me to be his girlfriend; if he doesn't love me, he wouldn't ask me the question, would he?
Junhyung said that he will wait for me. He will wait for my heart to answer his. And I was speechless during his confession. We returned in silence where I parted my way with him, heading to meet Yoseob as he had texted me the location to meet up.
And then I was blushing as the kiss from Junhyung filled up my mind. When Yoseob enraged, I was afraid. I didn't know how to explain what happened between me and Junhyung.
No, I don't love Junhyung. Not the way I love Yoseob for sure. Junhyung is charming and handsome, but he doesn't have my heart like Yoseob has mine.
"Enough. I don't care anymore. I won't let you close enough to hurt me. Not anymore."
The words keep echoing in my mind, tearing my heart as his face with heart broken written on his face haunting me.
I break his heart.
And here I am right now, in front of his apartment by myself. I told my manager to leave before because I told him that I wanted to meet a friend, which is supposed to be my date with Yoseob.
I took a taxi to come here, hoping that I can talk with Yoseob, even if I don't know how I can explain it to him. But I can't let him this way.
He turns off his phone so none of my text messages and phone calls reach him. I need to talk with him in person.
I take a deep breath and finally knock the door three times. I lower my hand, waiting for someone to open the door.
The clicked sound makes me flinch a little due to surprise.
"Eunna?" Doojoon looks confused with my sudden appearance. "What are you doing this late? It's already 10 PM."
"Is Yoseob here?" I blurt out without any hesitation. I don't care if he will think that something is up between us.
"Eh?" Doojoon blinks. "Well, he is in the bedroom. Did something happen? He doesn't look good since he returned by himself."
"I need to meet him," I beg Doojoon. "Please."
Doojoon rubs his head. I know he wants to ask me questions but I guess his leader intuition tells him to let me meet Yoseob, because he opens the door wider for me to step inside.
"Thank you," I mutter with a weak smile. I take off my shoes as quick as possible, looking around to find the bedroom.
I never came to their apartment before now but I watched their variety show before, B2ST Idol Maid, so I know where their bedroom is.
Gikwang, Hyunseung, and Dongwoon are sitting in the main room, circling as they are discussing about something they watch on TV.
"Eunna?" Junhyung calls my name even before the three greet me. I look up and find that he just stepped out from the bathroom. "What a coincidence to see you here. Is there anything you need?"
"Can I enter your bedroom?" I ask their permission with my hoarse voice. Please, don't ask anything to me. Not now.
"Did you cry?" Junhyung frowns, making his way to me. He reaches out his hand to touch my cheek. "What happened, Eunna?"
"Please," I step backwards, not letting him to touch me. "I need to talk to Yoseob."
Junhyung gives me a sad look, probably because I make a distance with him. I'm feeling guilty but I don't want someone else misunderstands our relationship; it's hard enough for me to explain to Yoseob now.
"Sure," Doojoon speaks out calmly, looking at me with assuring smile. "Go ahead."
I nod slightly and turn to their bedroom. I know I'm being sassy, barging in their apartment and now I'm going to get in their bedroom. But I have no other choice.
I open the door slowly, hoping that Yoseob will listen to my explanation.
My eyes find the figure, lying down on the upper bed. He doesn't notice my presence so he just lies down with his right arm covering his eyes.
Calm down, Eunna. Talk with him.
I climb the stairs carefully, crawling in silence to approach him. He stirs a bit but he must not think that I will find him here.
"Doojoon ah?" he groans. "I don't want to talk. Not now."
He thinks that I'm Doojoon.
I reach out my hand slowly and touch his cheek with my finger, "Yoseob..."
- Yoseob's POV -
When I arrived at the apartment, the first member I saw was Junhyung. He greeted me as usual, giving me his cheerful smile.
I swore I almost punched him in the face. I have clenched my fist, getting ready to land a punch on his face but I managed to control my anger.
I stormed in the bedroom, throwing myself on the bed and told the others that I wanted to go to sleep earlier because I was tired. I know they would understand, leaving me alone in the bedroom while they are busy with their own activities outside.
I can't blame Junhyung. He knows nothing about me and Eunna. He doesn't even know that I fall in love with her; all he knows that I am her protective training partner. I was the one who told him that I won't fall in love with Eunna.
But Eunna... she knows I love her. I asked her to be my girlfriend! But then she just let whatever has happened between her and Junhyung to happen.
I want to shout at her. I want to blame her for everything. But I can't. I give her my heart too early, don't I?
I close my eyes, covering them with my right arm as my mind is wandering anywhere. Suddenly I feel someone is approaching me, crawling to the bed next to me.
"Doojoon ah? I don't want to talk. Not now," I blurt out impatiently. I need to be alone.
To my surprise, the touch I feel on my cheek the next second makes me realize that it's not Doojoon who is sitting next to me.
"Yoseob...," her soft voice echoes.
I open my eyes quickly and sit up in second, shifting away from her until my back meets the wall.
What is Eunna doing here?! Am I dreaming?!
"Yoseob, please," Eunna pleads me with sad eyes. "Listen to me. I just want to talk with you."
"What for? Listen about your relationship with Junhyung? No, thank you. I will love to know it later," I say with sarcasm. My emotion drives me. "You may love to tell me your story with Doojoon next week after your date."
"Why do you even bring Doojoon in our problem?" the disbelief is written on her face now. "He has nothing to do with us."
"And Junhyung has something to do with you, right?" I hit the point. "You don't deny it, do you?"
"Look, Yoseob, I'm sorry but I'm trying to explain something here," she looks offended by my words. "I watched fireworks with Junhyung after the filming and he confessed to me. He doesn't know about us. I can't blame him!"
"Confess? Is that all?" I frown, knowing that there is something more than a mere confession to make Eunna blushed madly.
"Yoseob, what is wrong with you?" she tries to divert the conversation. "I told you I'm sorry. I was surprised. I was speechless. It's not like I am lying to you!"
"You're not lying," I sigh with frustration. "You're just hiding something from me, Eunna. And I don't think we will work out if you keep doing it."
"If...," I take a glance at her, "...we are lovers."
"What do you mean if we are lovers?" Eunna mutters and I notice her voice is wavering. "Am I the one who thinks that you are my boyfriend and I am your girlfriend here?"
My heart skips a beat.
Did I just say something out of the line?
"I can't believe myself," she scoffs, forcing a smile. "I let myself to believe that you love me when you actually don't. Well, it's not like you ever mentioned that you love me."
"Eunna, I-" I try to explain to her; what is wrong with this situation? I'm supposed the be the one who is angry now, not her.
"I'm sorry for being so cocky, Yang Yoseob," she makes her way down the stairs. She looks up at me when she has reached the floor while I look down at her from the upper bed. "I'm leaving."
"W-wait, Eunna!" I quickly climb down the stairs to follow her as she leaves the bedroom. I rush out from the room to stop her, ignoring the stares from the other members. "Eunna!"
I grab her arm, stopping her from wearing the shoes. She pulls away her arm, looking at me with rage in her eyes.
"See you for training, my senior," she hisses with obvious sarcasm.
I stun on my place. She wears her shoes and leaves our apartment without another word.
"Eunna!" Junhyung calls her name, walking pass me. He gives me a frown as he wears his shoes. He leaves, chasing after Eunna while I stay still.
"What happened?" Hyunseung speaks out, breaking the silence.
"ARGH!" I scream with frustration, making the others to jump because of my sudden action.
"Yah, Yoseob!" Gikwang mumbles. "Are you alright?"
"Just...," I murmur, "...leave me alone for tonight. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning."
I don't want my emotion to mess up everything. I need to clear out my head right now. Look what I've done to Eunna with this crazy thought of mine.
From her expression, I know that I just made her heart to shatter into pieces.
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