Kibum was shaking violently in his seat as he waited for the okay to go see his hyung. He could see people bustling about, rushing from one room to the next, and it was surely loud, but Kibum hadn't been able to hear much after Sungyeol had said, "Car crash." He probably blew out his ear drums with how loud he'd screamed.

Sungyeol had his fingers curled tightly around Kibum's trembling wrist. He spoke softly, trying to relay the story to Kibum's failing ears the best he could. All Kibum was able to get was that Myungsoo had been driving with Sungjong and Hoya when some ran a red light and plowed directly into the driver's side of the car. Hoya and Sungjong came out a little worse for the wear, but they were fine. They'd hadn't taken the full force of the crash like Myungsoo had.

It felt like hours before a tired looking doctor made his way over to them. Sungyeol stood up fast as a bullet, but Kibum was rooted to his spot. He legs felt like lead and he couldn't move.

"You are the family of Kim Myungsoo, yes?" The doctor said monotonously.

"Yeah," Sungyeol choked out. "H-How is he?"

"Well, I'm not gonna lie," he exhaled harshly. "This could have been a whole lot better. He's in ICU. His left lung ruptured when one of his ribs broke and stabbed into it, so he's been rendered incapable of breathing on his own as of right now. He's got multiple breaks throughout his body and likely some internal bleeding. I'm afraid he may also be in a coma, though it's too early to really tell."

With each problem the doctor listed off, Kibum felt some part of him die. Ruptured lung? Internal bleeding? A ing coma? All because some ran a light!

"We did, regardless of the delicate state he's in, manage to stabilize his condition. So, relatives may visit him. You're both relatives, right?"

"Yes," Kibum said faster than Sungyeol's shoulders had time to deflate.

"This way please."

Kibum had Sungyeol help him up and held with bone crushing strength to his arm. His legs didn't want to move so Sungyeol had to half carry him all the way to a stock white room in the ICU unit.

"He's in this room. I will warn you that... it's not a pretty sight."

Wasn't that the ing understatement of the year? When Kibum finally forced himself to look inside, what he saw made him want to puke.

Myungsoo was lying on the bed with a cast around his left arm and leg. A long gash went from him temple to under the collar of his green hospital gown and he had a bunch of other small cuts glaring red from the too white skin of his face. He had a black eye, a busted lip, and a big bruise that turned half his face purple. The worst thing had to be the mechanical ventilator, though. Never in his life did Kibum want to see a tube sticking out of his hyung's mouth so he could breathe.

Not knowing what else he could possible do, Kibum let out the mother of all shrieks and fell to the ground against the wall. The tears he just barely held in the whole time finally broke free and Kibum allowed the sobs to rack his body.

"K-Kibum," Sungyeol sniffed quietly, reaching down for the frail boy. He managed to maneuver himself underneath Kibum so the younger was curled in his lap and he could rock him back and forth. Kibum fisted Sungyeol's T-shirt in his hands and wailed into his chest.

"Shh," Sungyeol soothed against Kibum's forehead.

But Kibum couldn't quite down. His tears came with obnoxious hiccupping noises and his shuddering inhales weren't exactly quite either.

"He c-can't die," Kibum balled. "I need h-him!"

"He won't," Sungyeol said, but his voice was hollow. "He wouldn't. He could never leave you, not like this."

"He doesn't really get a say, now, does he?!" Kibum bit out harshly.

Sungyeol opted not to respond and Kibum's head instead. Kibum could feel bitter emotions pushing to the surface, but he stayed in Sungyeol's lap knowing he needed the security as much as Sungyeol needed the comfort.

"What's gonna happen if he dies?" Kibum whispered. "What am I supposed to do?"

"You accept it, eventually," Sungyeol said in his hair.

"B-But how could I? He's the only person that truly loves me anymore, I can't just let him go."

"That's not true," Sungyeol said, holding Kibum closer. "Your friends love you, and so do I. I'm going to be here to take care of you even if he isn't. I promise."

Kibum didn't want that. Maybe he was being an ungrateful child, but he wanted Myungsoo, not Sungyeol. That was understandable, right? A child would rather have his mother than a foster home. It was the same concept.

With some mild difficulty due to his wobbly legs, Kibum pulled himself up from Sungyeol's lap and stumbled from the room. He couldn't look at Myungsoo again, not like that.

"Kibum, wait," Sungyeol called from behind him.

"Just leave me alone," Kibum choked, pressing against the wall for support. "I want to be alone."

Kibum could only assume that Sungyeol didn't follow when he made it out of the hospital without being stopped. Having a destination would have been ideal, but his grief stricken brain didn't much care where he went as long as it wasn't there.

Regardless of the tears, Kibum could easily tell that it was dark, confirming that he had been in that hell hole for hours. The street lights were blurry and he could barely see where he was going but hell if he cared.

Thunder echoed across the sky, urging people to open their umbrellas or get the hell inside. Kibum walked on, even as the rain started to fall, and didn't stop till he was sure he was as far away from the hospital as his legs would carry him.

The rain picked up quickly, pelting his body with big drops of freezing cold rain mercilessly. Kibum collapsed on a park bench, he thought he was at a park at least, and let his body fall to the soaking wood painfully. He was sure he looked like a homeless person lying on a bench in the rain, but he couldn't bring himself to care about anything at the moment, much less what people thought of his drenched figure.

Time passed and the rain didn't let up, nor did Kibum move. His body was shivering with a savage type of aggression, but he had no will to go someplace warmer. All he could manage was to pull the blazer of his school uniform a little tighter around his skinny body and hope he'd warm up.

As much as he felt he needed the solitude, eventually someone had to notice a boy huddled in the rain like a drowning rat and care enough to come over and see what was wrong. A small hand gently shook his shoulder, but Kibum didn't look up. Not even when they shook a little harder.

"Come now, I know there's no way you're sleeping in this," the soft voice of a women said. Kibum curled up tighter in response.

"Umma, maybe he just needs to be alone," someone said quietly.

"Nonsense, Hakyeon! I'm not leaving him out here in this torrential weather to get hypothermia!"

Kibum stirred at the familiar name, and peeked out from the arm he'd wrapped protectively around his face.

"Wait, Kibum?"

Hakyeon leaned down to get a better look at his face and nearly lost his jaw with how hard it hit the ground.

"The boy from your therapy group?" A deeper voice came from practically nowhere, scaring Kibum a bit.

"It is!" Hakyeon gasped, crouching down in front of Kibum, blocking the rain with his umbrella. "What are you doing out here?"

Kibum didn't answer. Just stared at Hakyeon and sniffed softly.

"We have to get him somewhere dry before he gets sick," Hakyeon's umma said from behind his, worry etched into her laugh lines.

"Let's take him home, he needs dry clothes."

Hakyeon tried to pull Kibum up, but the boy was having none of it, groaning and swatting the hands away.

"It's fine, I got him," the deep voice said again and suddenly Kibum was being lifted into the air. He held fast to the person's shoulders and was surprised he recognized the boy as Taekwoon, Hakyeon's boyfriend.

He was carried to a car about two blocks away from the park and situated in the backseat with Hakyeon supporting his body on one side and Taekwoon on the other.

"Just what do you think you were doing getting soaked in the rain like that?" Hakyeon's umma scolded from the front seat, concern evident in her tone.

Kibum just dropped his chin to his chest and ignored her, his throat constricting too much for speech.

"I don't think he's going to talk to us, ma'am," Taekwoon observed dully.

"Well, he'll have to say something eventually. We need to call his parents."

"He doesn't live with his parents," Hakyeon said beside him. "He lives with his hyung."

"Then we're going to need his number."

New tears welled up in Kibum's eyes at the mention of Myungsoo and the thought that he may never answer another phone call again.

"Um, I think he's crying," Taekwoon said.

No , sherlock.

"Kibum, why won't you tell us what's wrong," Hakyeon coaxed, rubbing his soggy shoulder gently.

He didn't say anything, of course, and the car ride to Hakyeon's house was pretty quite till they were close to his home.

"Kibum ah, I think that's your phone."

Kibum snapped out of his trance long enough to pull his phone out of his pocket and see a call from Sungyeol go to voice mail. Actually, 27 missed calls from Sungyeol, 24 missed calls from Jonghyun, 26 missed calls from Taemin, and, damn, 113 text messages between the three of them. They'd sure been busy.

His phone buzzed in his hand again, Sungyeol's name coming up for the 28th time. Kibum stared at the screen dumbly, fully intent on letting it go to voice mail, but Taekwoon snatched the phone from his hand and quickly pressed the call button.

"Yoeboseyo... Uh, yeah... A park bench... He won't speak to anybody... Hakyeon's house, do you know where it is?... Yeah, sure thing. Bye."

Taekwoon hung up and dropped the phone back into Kibum's palms.

"Well, someone's coming to get him. Sounded pretty frantic, he must have been missing for a while."

They pulled into the driveway of the house then and Kibum slid out of the car behind Hakyeon, following close behind him. The inside of the house was nice, as far as houses went. It was warm, homey, and smelled like sugar cookies.

Hakyeon pulled Kibum up to his room and pretty much had to change him into a pair of soft blue pajamas. He put Kibum's wet uniform in a plastic bag and dropped it next to his bed.

"Here," Hakyeon pulled the covers back on his bed. "You can rest here till Sungyeol comes."

Kibum crawled into Hakyeon's bed and pressed his cheek into the stuffed elephant he'd gotten Hakyeon. Pie Jr. wasn't Pie, but he'd do till Kibum got home.

Hakyeon pulled the heavy blanket over Kibum's shoulders and patted his head.

"Hey, I'm sure whatever happened will be okay."

Kibum wasn't. In fact, Kibum was pretty sure it wouldn't be okay.

Hakyeon stayed with Kibum until Sungyeol arrived, carting his fingers through Kibum's drying hair in an effort to comfort him.

It was pretty obvious when Sungyeol got there. He was loud when he was in panic mode, and his distressed voice carried all the way upstairs. His footsteps rivaled the thunder outside as he ran upstairs and busted into Hakyeon's room.

"Jesus Christ, boy, do you know how long you've been gone?! You scared the living out of me!"

Kibum was fully prepared for the ripping into he was about to receive, but found himself being pulled up into the tightest hug he'd ever gotten instead.

"Don't ever ing do that again, arasso?"

Kibum was too tired to do anything but nod and let Sungyeol pick him up from the bed. He tucked Kibum protectively against his chest and thanked Taekwoon, Hakyeon, and Hakyeon's umma a trillion times before leaving with Kibum's wet clothes bag hooked on two fingers.

Kibum was silent the whole way home, not even speaking when he was back at the apartment. It felt empty and alien without Myungsoo, and it wouldn't feel like a home till he came back. Nothing would ever feel like home if he didn't.

Sungyeol tried to feed Kibum but he refused, going to his room to lie down with Pie and Keikeu instead. He rolled around for a good half hour before establishing he wasn't going to ever fall asleep like this, so he got up with Pie and Keikeu under his arms and got up.

Going to Sungyeol's and Myungsoo's shared bedroom, Kibum never really thought till then how'd never been in there. He just never felt the need before.

Kibum pushed the door open and saw Sungyeol on his stomach with a few tears trailing down his cheeks.

"Kibum?" he sat up, brushing at his cheeks quickly. "What's wrong?"

Uh, besides the fact that he could feel his world falling apart?

Kibum still wouldn't talk, but he climbed into bed with Sungyeol, dropping his kitten between them and using Pie as a pillow.

"Oh, you want to sleep here," Sungyeol said, lying back down next to Kibum.

Kibum scooted just close enough that his nose brushed Sungyeol's shoulder and closed his eyes. If he was lucky, he'd fall asleep soon and have a few hours of peace. Neither of them were successful in that matter, sadly. Kibum knew he'd probably have more problems than just insomnia in his future, though.

Two weeks. It had been two ing weeks and Myungsoo hadn't woken up. The doctor had said they anticipated him surviving, but he was still in the red and the issue with comas was you never knew when or if the person would wake up, regardless of how much he healed.

Kibum refused to go to school since the day it happened, and Sungyeol didn't have the heart to make him. It was only after the school called and said while they understood he wasn't in the best condition they were still concerned with how far behind he was falling that Sungyeol finally told him that he had to do back.

"Just try, okay? If something happens, just call and I'll come get you," Sungyeol promised, trying to get Kibum out of the car.

Kibum sighed, but nodded and popped his door open.

"I'll be back at the end of the day if you don't call before then," Sungyeol tilted Kibum's head down to peck his forehead. "Have a good day, okay?"

Kibum had barely made it ten feet past the entrance before his fingers were itching to grab his phone. People had gone quiet when he'd entered, looking at him with uncontained pity and whispering to their friends. The story had been on the news, so it wasn't a surprise that everybody already knew. He'd have preferred that they didn't, but it's not like he had a way to tell the news anchors to shut their Goddamn mouths.

Kibum pushed the urge to call Sungyeol back and rushed to his first period.

I agreed to try. Just... Just half the day, at least.

Kibum sat in his seat and thought about drawing, which he hadn't done in forever, but found his inspiration was completely gone. He hadn't done a lot of the things he would always do, actually. His nails were polish-less, his eyes were free of any liner, his hair was a ing mess, he hadn't stepped foot in any store, and the chocolate milk he normally craved like the pregnant was suddenly so unappealing. He really had fallen into a life mode, and he didn't see coming back out of it in his near future.

"Holy , Kibum?"

Kibum looked up from his brooding to see Minho standing in the doorway, Taemin looking over his shoulder."

"Bummie!"

Taemin was at Kibum and tackling him faster than he could blink.

"Oh my God, I missed you! Are you okay? Nevermind, that's a stupid question. You haven't been eating, have you? You totally got thinner. Oh, and your eyes are so dark, you haven't been—"

"Taeminnie, let him breath," Minho said, his large eyes disquiet.

"Oh... mianhae," Taemin said softly, loosening up but not letting go. "I've just been really worried, but Sungyeol said it was probably better just to give you space, and... ya know."

Kibum nodded in understanding.

"Jonghyun's going to be happy to see you," Taemin added. "He's been really upset about not being able to check on you. You want me to text him?"

Kibum thought about holding off on seeing Jonghyun for some reason but nodded again.

"Okay."

Taemin sent Jonghyun a quick message then pulled Kibum's head into the crook of his neck. Kibum felt Minho's long fingers massage into his shoulder blade, and he really never thought he'd feel any comfort from something Minho did, but he kind of liked the feeling and that was odd. For him, anyway.

Jonghyun ran the whole way, and Kibum new he ran because nobody's breath became that labored from walking. Kibum normally would have laughed seeing him nearly trip over two desks trying to get to him.

"Kibum," Jonghyun gasped out, swallowing air in thick gulps. Taemin stepped back just in time for Jonghyun to fall next to Kibum and coil his arms around his thin waste.

"Jesus, you've lost weight," Jonghyun said, feeling Kibum's sides.

"That's what I said!" Taemin said behind him.

"You were already small, you can't be losing weight," Jonghyun said reproachfully.

Kibum shrugged, trying to dismiss the topic. He hadn't been eating, which he knew that was bad, but food made him feel sick to his stomach. He just couldn't keep anything down.

"Don't just shrug, you have to take care of yourself. I know you're hurting, but Myungsoo would rather see more cheek than cheekbone when he wakes up, don't you think?"

Kibum didn't respond and got lightly jostled as punishment.

"Nod or something. Tell me you understand," Jonghyun said sternly.

Kibum nodded, to make Jonghyun shut it at the very least, and leaned down so he could drop his head on Jonghyun's shoulder.

"Oh, baby," Jonghyun whispered. "You'll be okay. We'll make sure of it."

As much as Kibum wished they all could have stayed, Taemin and Jonghyun had to go to class, and Minho's seat was across the room. Kibum's mood got considerably more sour with each person that entered the room and shot him a glance, their eyes full of their commiserations that Kibum didn't want. They were all talking in hushed tones, looking up at Kibum like they weren't being obvious then going back to their retched gossip.

Kibum figured they'd have to stop once class started, but the stupid bastards didn't, not even when the teacher started talking. Kibum was about ready to bust out in tears, before Minho suddenly lost his .

"You all aren't slick," Minho suddenly shouted, gaining the class's full attention. "He can ing hear you, so at least have the decency to wait for him to be out of earshot before you talk about his life like it's any of your business."

Their mouths screwed up tight and they all hunched their shoulders in some form of shame. The teacher didn't even reprimand Minho for his outburst, just told the class that they really should learn to mind their own before going on with the lesson.

Lunch rolled around and the only reason Kibum hadn't called Sungyeol was because Taemin had taken his phone.

"I know being at school in a horrid mood , but calling him out of work is rude," the younger had chided. And it was rude—Kibum was well aware of that—but he was trying, and he just wasn't emotionally ready for the real world yet.

"Come on Kibum, open your mouth," Jonghyun said with a spoon full of yogurt poised near Kibum's lips. It had been five minutes after the initial opening of the yogurt and Kibum had yet to take a bite.

"You don't even have to chew," Taemin tried to reason. "Just swallow. You'll feel better with food in your stomach."

They were all sitting around him—Jonghyun, Taemin, Minho, Onew, and Joon—with an intense air of... anticipation. Like his life depended on whether or not he ate the yogurt.

"Kibum, please, you can't go this long without food. It's dangerous," Jonghyun said pleadingly.

"Just a bite," Onew said from across the table. "Try."

Try. He'd promised Sungyeol he'd try.

I have... to try.

Kibum's lips parted slowly, the cracking pink of his chapped lips wrapping around the spoon to off the creamy yogurt. He had half a mind to spit it out as soon as the strawberry flavor hit his tongue, but he it up and swallowed the yogurt down.

"There you go," Jonghyun smiled with an encouraging pat to Kibum's shoulder. "Come on, try to eat it all."

The process was slow, but sure enough half the container was gone and Kibum's body was starting to accept the food. His mood approved a bit with each bite he managed to get down but, of course, that didn't last long. He apparently wasn't allowed to feel okay at all anymore.

"Tsh, you'd think he was the one hurt with the way he's making them wait on hand and foot."

Kibum turned just enough to see Sekyung behind him with a tray of food, a few of her groupies nodding mechanically.

"Sekyung," Jonghyun growled, anger emanating profusely off his body. "If there was ever a time to shut your fat mouth, it would be now."

"What?" Sekyung huffed, miffed that Jonghyun was defending Kibum. "It's true. We've all got problems, what gives him the right to act like he's any more misfortunate? Remember what you said, Kibum? The world won't stop for you? Way to be a hypocrite."

Kinbum could barely process what was happening. How could anyone say that, even her?

"Sekyung, you being a and him suffering through an actual tragedy is completely different," Taemin snapped, standing up.

"Move along, you self-serving . Nobody is in the mood for your today," Minho snarled.

"So it's a crime to point out hypocrisy now?"

"Sekyung," a baby faced girl behind her said softly. "You're... not being very fair."

"Shut up, Sulli, I'm being honest."

"You're being a ing , that's what you're being," Taemin hissed.

Any other day Kibum would have stood up and dumped what was left of his yogurt cup all over Sekyung's too perfect hair, but the bite in him was... gone. The situation just served to upset him all over again, drawing fresh tears from his eyes that leaked onto the table top.

", Sekyung, just go away. You're making things worse," Jonghyun ground between his molars, tugging Kibum against his chest.

"Aw, is he crying? Such an attention ."

Kibum's breath shuddered and he choked on a pitiful sob. He just wanted everybody to shut the up. Was that too much to ask for?

"Pardon me," a deep voice rang out over a lunch room that had become too quite when Kibum started to cry. "But I think you just to move along, Sekyung."

Kibum looked over Jonghyun's shoulder and saw one hell of a tall guy heading their way, annoyance swimming in his eyes.

"This is none of your business, Chanyeol, just go back—"

"Frankly, you've made it everyone's business," he interrupted. "You're allowed to hate people, but he could be losing his hyung, and you're using it as a petty way to get back at him for, what, stealing the guy that hardly liked you while you two dated? Get a damn life already."

"Yeah, just shut the hell up already," another boy yelled from across the cafeteria.

"Why don't you pick on someone who's in a state to kick your ," a tomboy-ish looking girl sneered, popping her knuckles.

"Grow up, would you?" Someone else shouted.

Sekyung looked absolutely astonished at all the glares she was receiving, at all the pissed comments being thrown at her.

"You all just need to shut the fu—"

Sekyung was once again interrupted, but this time it was by cheese covered french fries being thrown directly at her face. She let out a shriek, like it had been a rodent instead of food, and furiously rubbed it from her eyes.

"Go away, already! We're sick of you," someone, probably whoever threw their lunch, called out.

Kibum watched through wide, teary eyes as Sekyung screamed in frustration and bolted from the lunch room. Some of her lackeys ran after her, but a few, such as Sulli, stayed behind with sad eyes.

"Don't listen to her," Chanyeol suddenly directed his attention to Kibum. "She's a child who hasn't been taught respect properly."

Chanyeol his heel before Kibum could even nod in thanks and went back to his seat. Kibum knuckled a few tears out of his eyes and reached out for Taemin's pants pockets, stealing his phone back and sending Sungyeol a text to please come get him. He was just done. He'd try again tomorrow... maybe.

A staff member came searching for him about ten minutes later. He gave Jonghyun a quick kiss goodbye then peeled out of the school to the safe enclosure of Sungyeol's car. Funny how suffocated it used to make him feel.

"Hey," Sungyeol greeted when Kibum slumped in the front seat. "What happened?"

For the first time in two weeks, Kibum spoke, spilling out the story in a mess of words Sungyeol barely understood. He was pretty pissed at the end, only not calling up the school because Kibum insisted it was dealt with.

When Kibum got home, he laid down in Myungsoo and Sungyeol's bed again, making Sungyeol sit next to him and sing like Myungsoo did when he was upset.

Kibum drifted into a decent enough slumber before Sungyeol got up to go back to work. Before leaving, Sungyeol pulled the covers up to his chin and his hair.

"We're gonna be okay," Sungyeol whispered to the sleeping boy. "Even if he doesn't come back."

So, angst, ie-ness, and food in the face. Fun stuff.

Thanks for reading, sorry for mistakes, and have a good night, day, evening or whatever. Bye-bye :)