A.N: This will switch POV's enjoy.

"I'm not afraid of heights,  deep water or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning and a broken heart."

-Unknown

The clanking of the metal gates woke Krystal up. Rubbing her tired eyes, she took a glance at her handphone, the lights flashing in the dim room. A small smile was etched on her lips as she smoothed the creases from her pyjamas before creeping out of her bed.

-

"Soojoung-ah, unnie is home!" I called out, while placing my shoes back in the rack. Not being used to walking around too much, I massaged my aching feet as recollections of the trip with Yuri entered my mind. Giving the silver chain in my hand a small tap, I brushed all other thoughts away. After all, as I remembered doing so myself, I was calling out to Krystal. Not thinking about the Kwon woman. Turning the light switch on, I was met with the silence of the apartment. The airconditioning system is cranked up high, considering Soojoung hates the summer heat. I sighed in content with the thought of us, as kids, being told by mom to wait for our turns to she slathered on the sun block, as we didn't want to get tanned on the beach. I remember us fighting for who goes first. Who gets to have the first of the Chocolate fudge sundae. Who gets to ask mom help for the math homework Mr. Bae assigns to every student on Fridays. Who gets to take a bath first. Who gets to have the first goodnight kiss, every night from mom and dad. Who gets to have a successful career first. Who gets to be in a relationship first. We always thought our lives were a race, a competition. And I remember how I used to want to always win, becaise I'm the unnie. Because I want Krystal to depend on me. Seeing her happy with Amber made me realize she can stand up for herself, after all. That I needed to depend on her, too. Thinking about it, with more than twenty years of us being together, how much of that did I treasure? Time seems to go in slow streams, I think when you least expect it to be. And it comes crashing, and falling and moving forward, you can't catch up when you feel like you still have to pick up certain pieces you left along the way. 

Proceeding to the kitchen, I took out a glass of milk, not forgetting to heat it up, the scent calming my senses. 

-Milk and Honey For Better Sleep-

"Unnie, I know work has been really tiring for you lately, but don't be a work freak, alright? Just add a few tablespoons of honey to your milk( which you religiously drink in hopes of being a C-cup). I brought a  jar of honey for you. Said to help you sleep better.

P.S: Happy Birthday, unnie. I had to be the first to greet you, but knowing me, I'm probably already asleep. Don't stay up to late! The whole day is yours.

-Krystal

"Sheesh, that kid. How could she be romantic at times like this? My Birthday is tomorrow, for Pete's sake!" Jessica breathed as a grin was shown on her face, pearly whites and all, before heading to the counter.

"Honey, huh. Sweetest thing ever." Her eyes fell into a lazy smile as she drizzled the syrup onto her cup, memories of two important people entering her mind. And as much as she tried to deny it, one of them was a certain tanned baboon named Yuri. 

-

The door of the room was silently shut tight, a small smile plastered on a certain girl's face. Deciding that her unnie has read her post-its, which she writes everyday for Jessica, and that her peeping was enough, she went back to her room, into the comforts of the soft mattress.

"I love you, unnie. Happy Birthday."

-

 Sunlight dappled through the curtains onto the sheets, making Jessica stiffle a yawn. Ruffling her hair, she squeezed her eyes tight as she sat up and fought the urge to fall back into bed. The incessant ringing of her alarm made her snap her tired eyes open as a familiar tune kept on ringing on her ears.

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday, dear Jessica. Happy birthday to you."

Krystal. She remembered, once again, when Krystal at the young age of 15, had recorded her own voice and made it a ringtone as her birthday alarm. Because no one greeted her Happy Birthday. Because no one knew. Because no one cared. All except for Krystal. Browsing through her phone, a small smile crossed her lips as she saw no new notifications. No messages.No greetings. Just like always. But then she has Krystal. Placing the phone back on the table, she hummed a tune as she got out of bed.

"Now then, breakfast for Krystal. I bet she's hungry."

-

"Right. First, you cook the rice. Cook the rice. It's simple Jessica. Just put the friggin' grain into the friggin' rice cooker and add some friggin' water. Simple. No need to panic." Fidgeting on her spot, Jessica tried the deep breathing exercises she learned from watching different youtube videos. Finding that it didn't help, she decided humming a song, finally feeling her spirits lift up.

"Guess who?" Hands made its way to cover Jessica's eyes. 

"Krystal, you do know that you're the only one living in this apartment?" Jessica asked, a small smirk in her face. She was sure Krystal is pouting. They were, after all, alike in so many ways.

"But.... but it could be an alien, or naruto, or.... or pikachu!" The younger whined, as she playfully stomped her foot on the ground.

A grin broke into the auburn-haired woman's face as she blindly reached for a towel. Wiping her hands dry, she removed Krystal's hands from blocking her view.

"I should've known better that you have a wild imagination,Krystal." Jessica stood on her tip toes before ruffling the younger's hair. "And what do you mean by pikachu? That shortie can't reach up to cover my-" Jessica cut her words before shouting, "What do you mean by that, huh?"

"Oh you know what I mean, unnie." Krystal looked down on Jessica with a small smirk.

"I'm not that short! Just a little lacking!" Jessica reached up and grabbed the others into a headlock.

"I give! I give!" Krystal shouted as she tapped onto her sister's arm repeatedly.

Jessica let go with a satisfied huff before fixing Krystal's fringes. "There. My Krystal's all pretty."

Sitting the raven haired girl into the chair, she walked to the counter and prepared the remaining ingredients."Krystal, stay seated. Unnie will prepare your favorite dish today, alright?" Jessica skipped as she opened the fridge and took the kimchi out.

"But today is your birthday. I should be the one doing service." Krystal said stubbornly. Patting on her sister's bottom she continued, "Why is unnie so unusually happy today? Your birthday used to be so bland." Giving a few pokes to her sister's waist she started once again, "Is it because of something? Or...someone?"

Heat crept up to Jessica's face as she remembered the town fair nights ago. The bright lights. The rides. The attractions. Yuri. Yes, Yuri. Unknowingly, a smile played on her lips, just tugging at its corners.

"Unnie's love sick. Really, if anyone just knew, you're not an ice princess. You're a lovesick fool. A hopeless romantic." Krystal pinched her sister's nose, earning herself a small pout.

"Aigoo..that's my cute unnie. Now, go and rest. Watch tv or something. I'll finish up around here." Jessica bounced around the kitchen before grabbing her phone.

"You didn't tell me Taeyeon-unnie made you so happy." The older of the two stopped in her tracks, feeling the bile rise up to . Guilt is killing her. Taeyeon. She hadn't thought about her at all. Not even once. 

"K-krystal, I'll be going to my room, yeah? Call me when food is done." Krystal, taking her sister's stuttering as to be from embarrassment and nothing more, quickly brushed it off with a wave of her hand.

 

 

What she didn't know was how her words made Jessica slightly die on the inside.

 

 

 -

I knew what I did nights before was wrong. I knew talking with her, laughing, enjoying every bit of time spent with her was a mistake on my part. I knew I shouldn't have decided to go with her now that Taeyeon is with me. I know I shouldn't have let her come so close. That I should've not let my walls crumble easily. I knew I shouldn't have heard the way she confidently states I like her. Because I'm afraid that I might have already been in the first place. But I can't help it. I wanted this. I wanter her. I wanted her smiles, her teases.I wanted her hugging me. I wanted being against her, feeling her warmth. I wanted to hold her. 

 

I just wanted her, a simple thing.

 

 

 

Yet why did everything seem so complicated?

-

"Unnie, brunch is ready!" Krystal voice rang into the walls of the apartment. With a defeated sigh, she scooched herself out of bed.

"What's wrong with you, unnie?" The younger asked noticing the change in her sister's expression. "Don't do that, unnie! You're scaring me with that attitude! You were going tralalalala a while ago, acting all cinderelly, cinderelly" Krystal sang out, mimicing the mice's voice from the cartoon."Now you look like someone who just saw someone die." 

"There's nothing special about my birthday, anyway. No one's gonna know. No one ever will. Just you and me. Same old, same old." Jessica plopped herself onto her chair and took a bite of the kimchi fried rice. She just lost her appetite. And as much as she wanted to blame her clueless sister for saying those words, she couldn't.

Krystal ran a hand over her raven locks before sitting next to her sister. "Unnie, if you don't like the food, it's okay. Really, no pressure. Let's get fixed up, yeah? You'll be late for work." Giving a slight squeeze to Jessica's shoulder, she started clearing up the table. Jessica sat there, motionless.

 

I guess...I'm not needed here too, huh?

-

"Hi, Sica." Taeyeon caught up to her and casually slung an arm over her shoulder. 

"Oh. I didn't see you there." Jessica spat out a little too coldly making the older woman retract her arms. 

"Why? Can't I see my friend?" Taeyeon joked around, albeit too sheepishly.

"Listen, Taengoo. Sorry for snapping at you. But-I... I'm just not feeling well today, alright?" She reasoned as she closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

"Alright. I'll see you later then? There's a meeting after company hours at the Golden Bell Restaurant. Please wear something formal. The boss, Lee Soo Man is coming today for the monthly reports." Taeyeon sighed and massaged her temples.

"Got it. Later then." Stilletos clanked against the tiles as Jessica took brisk steps away from Taeyeon.

 

 

 

 

She doesn't even know it's my birthday. 

 

 

But then again, I forgot about her altogether only because of a night in the fair.

 

 

This needs to stop.

 

 

 

We need to stop.

-

From Jessica's viewpoint, the exterior of the restaurant looks a tad too dark. Pushing the doors open, she was met with the boss, sitting on the leather sofa. No one was there except for him, Jessica observed. The slightly dark atmosphere calmed her, though the presence of her superior sent her mind into a small frenzy.

"Take a seat, Jessica-ssi." She traced the business-like tone of the older man. 

"What is it that needs to be addressed, Sir?" Jessica played with the hem of her shirt, afraid to look at the man in the eye.

"You won't be working as my writer anymore." There it was. Cold and indifferent. And then and there, she traced the venom in his voice.

"Sir, is there something-"

Jessica was taken aback as the whole room was lit up and several entered the room, each clad in the best dresses and suits. The whole gang threw confetti at the shocked Jessica, who stood there not knowing the situation.

"Wha-"

"Happy birthday, Jessica-ssi." Mr. Lee said as he shook her hand. "And about you being fired," he cleared his throat, "I take that back. You're one of my best writers, after all. I was just pushed into this by a certain pesky little midget. That woman, really. The things she do for love." He smirked. "You probably know who she is, young lady. She's over there." He pointed at the far corner, where Jessica saw a petite midget looking at the ground, her feet drawing circles on the floor as she held a bouquet of roses. 

Jessica walked over to Taeyeon, feeling relieved and anxious at the same time. Turning her back, she saw the others begin to disperse.

"Taengoo-ah." She gave a tap to her back.

"Ahh..umm.Sica? D-did you like the-"

"I loved it Taeyeon-ah. I loved it." Jessica tried to control the tears from falling. She didn't want to deal with mascara running down her face at her own party.

"When would you love me?" Taeyeon mumbled before looking at Jessica. Placing a hand on her cheek, she traced her porcelain face. "You know what I said to you before, right, Sica? I'm still waiting for you. And I'll continue to until you tell me you love somebody else." A hand clasped Taeyeon's as Jessica felt her warmth. 

"Don't cry, you pabo." Taeyeon flicked Jessica's forehead lightly. "This is your party, you should enjoy."

Retracting her hand from Jessica's, she took a few steps back. "I'll be going out to get some fresh air, alright? Stay here and celebrate, okay?"

Seeing no response from the younger of the two, she continued, "Hey. I promise I'll be fine. Don't you worry."

Jessica looked at Taeyeon's retreating back her own thoughts stabbing through her heart.

 

 

Somehow, she knew she'll hurt someone. 

 

-

Yuri searched for Jessica everywhere. Ever since the party started, her eyes couldn't leave the two talking at the far corner of the room. She knew she couldn't always be depressed over things like that. Feeling so close yet so far. Hearing Tiffany and the gang call out to her made her tear her eyes from the suppossed to be couple. It has been at least thirty minutes since she tried to search for the petite woman through the sea of people to no avail. Wiping the sweat off her brow, she grabbed a glass of whiskey before heading to the balcony.

"Oh, I- Hi." Yuri said as she tried to act casual seeing Jessica in the balcony.

"Loud party over there, huh?" Jessica turned around with a small smile as she held Yuri's hand. "Come. The view is great up here."

Everything was in silence as the two held hands, heartbeats pounding, but both not knowing. Yuri faced the older woman as her eyes traced her eyes, down to her nose, her cheeks. Her lips. She knew she had to let her emotions out. She knew she couldn't keep everything a secret. That she couldn't hide anymore. She knew how difficult denial was, and now she finally had everything figured out, she wont let go of the chance. Taking a deep breath she inched closer to the woman.

"Sica?"

"Hmm?" 

"What if- what if...arrghgh!" The younger groaned as she ruffled her hair. Jessica giggled before cooing,"It's okay, Yuri-ah. I'll listen."

"What if... I told you...that I love you?" Yuri continued, feeling her cheeks heat up. She was afraid to stare at the woman's face. But what shocked her most was Jessica letting go of her hand. Looking up, she saw the other taking steps back.

"You're joking, right?" Jessica slightly choked out as she gave a small punch to Yuri's chest.

"You're joking." 

"It-it's not true." Another punch.

"It's another prank for my birthday."

"The gang would come here and surprise me again, right?"

"You-you don't. You don't love me."

"Tell me." Yuri said as she held Jessica's hand and placed it to her chest. "Tell me that this heart beating isn't real, Sica." The younger pleaded as she clutched the older's hand thighter, feeling her heartbeat pounding in her ears. Tears strated to flow down her dark orbs. She knew she lost to Taeyeon. She knew it was the end. "Tell me that when my heart screams your name, it's- it's all fake. Please. Just so we can end this. I don't want to be hurt anymore."

"Sica!" From their location, both heard Taeyeon calling out, probably searching for the love of her life, Yuri thought with a scoff.

"I-I need to go meet Taeyeon now." Jessica attempted to get away from Yuri's grip.

 

 

 

Because she couldn't tell that it was never true.

 

 

 

Not when she felt that it has been real herself.

 

 

 

Not when her heart beats for the person in front of her.

 

 

 

 

Not when the way she looks at the younger woman made her want to believe it's real.

 

The raven haired woman held her tighter, confusing the woman even further.

"What's wrong with you?!" Jessica snapped, tears threatening to spill. "What happened?!"

"What happened?!" Yuri shouted before pushing Jessica against the cold marble. Leaning in, she locked their lips together, tasting the saltiness of her own tears. Jessica placed a hand on Yuri's abdomen, trying to push the other woman away. She knew it was wrong.

 

 

But a part of her felt so right in her arms.

 

 

 

A part of her wanted to stay in her embrace.

 

 

A part of her wanted to kiss her back with much passion.

 

 

And she did, when Yuri started to slow down, the heated kiss turning sensual. She grasped at the raven haired woman's locks, pulling her closer. 

"Sica!"

Jessica slightly pushed Yuri away from her, guilt gnawing at her. For leaving Taeyeon behind. For pushing Yuri away. Looking at the other's disappointed orbs, she felt a small piece of her heart being chipped. Taking deep breaths, she glued their foreheads together, wiping away the younger's tears.

"You know this is wrong, Yuri-ah. We couldn't." She whispered against the other's lips.

"Loving you was never a mistake, Sica." Yuri continued to hold her, as she buried her face on the crown of Jessica's head.

 

But Jessica knew better. She knew from her past that love is a big risk. A gamble. You gain nothing. You lose your everything. She knew how painful the pang is when one feels rejected. She knew how much of a stab it is to be left out. And she didn't want to risk her heart again. 

 

"I need to leave, really. Just-think of it as this never happened, alright? Taeyeon has been calling out for me now." She slightly pushed the younger as she regretted leaving those words out. 

"Why can't you..." Yuri said in between sobs as she cried her heart out. "Why can't you see me instead of Taeyeon?"

 

 

"Why can't you hear me instead of Taeyeon?"

 

"Why can't you love me instead?"

 

"Yuri, you know-"

"Jessica there you are-" Taeyeon cheered as she went to the balcony catching the two, with Yuri's back turned to her.

"I'm sorry. A-am I disturbing something-"

"No." Yuri said as she straigthened up and released her hands from hugging Jessica. "In fact," she tried to hide her tears as she sniffed and with a quick tug to her suit, walked towards Taeyeon, "I'm leaving. She's all yours, Ms. Kim."

 

 

Pushing the small box further into her pocket, she dug her nails into the palm of her hands.

 

 

 

She knew she lost Jessica.

 

 

 

She knew it was goodbye.

-

"Hey Fany-ah, aren't you drinking a tad too much?" Siwon, her closest co-worker, said as he gave her a small squeeze on the shoulder.

"I'm fine." She slurred on as she stumbles for a few steps. "My a-alchohol tolerance is high, ya know?"

"Woah there." Siwon held her against him as she lost her balance. Feeling slightly abashed with her clumsy actions, she fixed her hair before giving a slight bow to Siwon, a tint of red on her cheeks. Making her way out of the crowd, she ended up going to the exit, through the back door.

Making her way out the restaurant, the cool night breeze swept across her cheeks. She felt at ease. She knew flirting around with other men didn't help her heartache. She wondered if there was even a time Taeyeon cared. If the latter even felt jealous when she was accepting every offer to dance from others whom, she knew had an interest in her. Her own melody, her own waltz was playing on her body as she glided across the ballroom,her feet gracefully moving, serenely taking each step, one hand on a man's shoulder, while his on her waist.

 

But her heart. It was a requiem. She saw how Taeyeon kept on searching for Jessica, calling out to her, asking almost everyone in the party.

 

 

She saw how Taeyeon yearns for her.

 

 

 

She saw that Taeyeon needs her.

 

 

Once in her life, Tiffany knew that she wanted Taeyeon to be someone who doesn't give up. Who struggles for what she wants.

 

 

 

 

And know she had seen it with her own eyes.

 

 

 

But that's what she regretted the most.

 

 

Because her longing was not for her.

 

Her eyes landed into a lone figure on the bench, her head bent low, making her face unrecognizable, yet her warm skin and jet black hair giving away her identity.

 

I love you, Taeyeon. A line she knew she had practiced a countless times, waiting for the right moment to express herself.

 

She knew it might be her best or worse choice yet, but she didn't care. She knew it's time those words were said to somebody else.

 

"Yuri-ah." She cooed as she gave her a small tap on the back. Crouching down and meeting Yuri's gaze she leaned in for a kiss. 

 

 

She thought Yuri wasn't drunk; yet she taste scotch.

 

 

She knew she, herself, was sober; yet she tasted strawberry chapstick. Far different from her own peach flavored ones.

 

And what is different, for Tiffany, was that Yuri never liked putting on chapstick. She said so herself.

 

 

-

 

Tiffany made Yuri remember Jessica. She realized, at that moment, how different Tiffany's lips feel like against hers. But she kissed her back. Because she didn't want to feel pain. Because she didn't want to remember how the other's lips felt like. Because she didn't want to admit that tasting her warm tears on Jessica's lips was far better than tasting peach and floral. 

Slightly pushing the woman in front of her, she felt the latter cling closer to her as she felt her breath hitch. But what surprised her wasn't entirely the kiss.

 

It was Tiffany saying "I love you, Yuri-ah."

 

Her mind raced with the thought of being with her. Of leaving Jessica. And she knew she couldn't take that, no matter what.

"You must have been mistaken, Fany-ah." Yuri caressed the woman's cheeks now flowing with tears.

 

She knew she was being stupid-selfish even

 

 

"Because...you know, I should be the one..." Getting a small box out from her back pocket, she opened it, revealing a diamond necklace, its edge glittering in silver.

 

 

But she was shattered;broken into pieces.

 

 

"Who should confess, right? After all, I am suppossed to be the husband." Wearing the necklace around Tiffany's neck, a small smile was formed from the corner of her lips as she slowly leaned down and kissed Tiffany softly at the back of her neck.

 

And she needed someone to fix her.

 

 

"I love you, Fany-ah. Will you be my girlfriend?" 

 

"Yes. Yuri-ah. Yes." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And she sealed it with a kiss.

-

 

Two weeks after the incident, news spread out about the two dating. Everyone in the workplace was accepting of the fact. The couple had been the whole talk in the office, with congratulatory words thrown to the both of them. Still, everything remained within the company. Everyone knew they couldn't risk Tiffany's modelling career.

 

Yuri remained as she was. She remained a kkab to Sooyoung, an unnie to Yoona, and oh, a buddy to Hyoyeon.

 

But things won't ever be the same for Jessica. She knew it.

-

I know I was suppossed to not feel anything for them. I knew that, with my experience with Donghae-oppa, I wouldn't be hurt the second time around. I knew, that once my greatest fears happened, my heart would remain as it was- a cold block of ice. And I had set it in stone. Never had I thought for my walls to come crashing. Never had I thought that I'd be vulnerable. Never had I thought I'd be crying-for her.

 

I know ours was the best and worst game I've ever played.

 

And now its lost, our hearts I failed to save.

 

So now I repent and I would wish you well,

 

And say my last words for our final farewell.

 

"Sica. Let's get going." A hand made its way into mine, our fingers interlocked. She gave a small smile before leaning in and kissing me on the cheek.

 

A month after their incident, I started dating Taeyeon.

 

 

She told me she'd let me move on.

 

 

I told her I'll love her instead.

-

And from there I knew 'twas the calm before the storm. That my tears dried up before they fell down. That my heart crashed before the fall. That my soul died before its death. Because I couldn't brave it through with you. Because I couldn't love you, the way you did for me. Because I couldn't give everything up. Cause I need to fix myself. Cause I didn't want to hurt you. But I did. And with the storm of excuses I made, I find my worthlesness. For I wasn't meant for anything at all. Yet I can't help but look at you and wish that I tried harder.

-End of Book 3, Summer: The Calm before the Storm-

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