YUNHO
 

   HOPE.

   That word was screaming at my face the moment I look at those young chidren who has a disease even an adult can’t take. All of them was dying, later on, their body will reduce into ashes or will be buried on the cold ground but it didn't stop them from smiling. Smiling greatly and sweetly as if they have no problem at all. Not minding the short time that God gave them. And it made me respect them.

    “Jaejoong is here!" a girl with a dextrose with her exclaims happily and ran to our way. He hugs Jaejoong and he hug the little girl back. He knelt down and usher the other kids to come to him.

   The kids are obviously happy to see him. They encircle him and tell him how they do the past weeks that he didn't came to visit them.

   "Oppa! I'm getting well now. Doctors said I'll be fine." a boy with bald hair and pale skin, as white as a sheet of paper cooed as he grab his hand. "So you have to wait for me! I'll be better soon!"

   Jaejoong shift his attention to him and chuckles. "Okay. Grow up quickly aye?" he pinched his nose playfully.

   "Jae-sshi! My mother gave me this!" one girl show her white bracelet and Jaejoong pats her head. "That's great. It's really beautiful!"

   They continue blabbing and Jaejoong answer and smiles at them playfully. He's really good with kids.

   I just stand there. Staring at them, how happy they are. How they are bravely fighting a disease on their own. I suddenly felt ashamed, ashamed on how I tried so hard to take my life away that those kids only wanted. How I tried to stop myself from breathing that those kids only needed. How I neglected the life, the life that is eternal that they are only wishing for. How I wasted my life, my time that he needed. That we needed the most.

   Because of thinking, I didn't notice that he's already beside me, looking at me. A hard smack on the head wake me up from my thoughts.

   I frowned and heard a chuckles coming from him. "Why the smack?"

   "I was calling you for the nth time." he pouted and fold his arms. "What were you thinking?"

   I hold his hand and shook my head. "Nothing. Where are the kids?" I asked when I realized they aren't with him anymore.

   He pointed something to me and find the kids gathering on the garden to eat the food I prepared for them. Yoochun helped me to organize this. We hired a mascot and bought the kids the toys they like. Base on the laughter I'm hearing from their way, I know they are happy. I can't help them forget the pain that cancer cells gave them but I can make them be happy. At least once.

   "The kids are really happy. They kept on asking me to thank you." I look at him and find him closing his eyes, breathing deeply. "They also said you are so handsome."

   I realize something was wrong when I saw hus painful expression for a moment. "Is something wrong? Are you okay?" I concerly asks and hold his other hand. "Tell me. Are y-you h-hurt?" I stammered but he just shook his head. "I'm fine." he massages his temples. "I'm just tired. Can I rest my head here?"

   I nodded and gave my shoulder for him to rest for a bit. "Are you drowsy? What are you feeling? Tell me."

   "I'm just tired. That's all." he replied, but something about his voice didn't convince me that he's fine.

   "Kim Jaejoong. Don't lie. Tell me. Please." I warned.

   He sighs and answered, stuttering, "My h- head, it's a- aching so damn h-hard."

   I slowly rub his temples with my other hand holding him tightly. "D-does it ease the pain?" I asked after a while, he shook his head and I heard him sob.

   "It hurts Yunho. It h-hurts." he hold his head with his two hands and close his eyes tighter, hurt was clearly registered on his face.

   With a trembling hand, I reaches for his bag and stuttering asks where his medicine is. "Eat this." I gave him a total of ten tablets, of different medicines and open a water bottle for him.

   He swallows the medicines quickly as I wipe his sweating forehead and face that has drops of tears. The medicines seem to prove their worth because he finally let go of his head. He breaths heavily and compose his self. Quickly, I turn my back and wipe the lone tear that managed to escape from my eyes.

   "I'm sorry." he said. "I'm sorry."

   "Sshh. It's okay." I pull him again for a hug as I gently caress his cheek and hair. "It's okay. It's okay."

   "For now. For now Yunho. Tomorrow, the next days, what if I have this pain again? What will you do? Cry for me again?" he sobs. "I don't want to see you crying."

   "It's okay. I'll never leave your side, until the pain subside. Don't mind me crying. I'll cry harder if you push me away." I sniff and close my eyes, preventing my eyes to cry. "Are you okay now?"

   He just shrugged and I feel he kisses my shoulder. We stayed like that for a while. If I could just have a power to stop time, I'll do it to be with him. If I could just make it slow, he'll not have to leave me so soon. If I could just take his pain away and put it in my body. If I could just do it all. I will do it without second thoughts. I wish I could.

--

   And it's time to leave now. We bid goodbye and thanked the kids and the nuns for welcoming us. They sadly waved goodbye but when Jaejoong promised to come back soon, they all excitedly nods and hugs him. They even thanked me and threatened me to take care of their precious Jaejoong or else they'll erase my existence. I laughed but they glared at me. Obviously saying they are serious. Oh, those kids.

--

   "Thank you." he mumbles for the nth time. "Thank you for this day."

   "Don't thank me yet. The day isn't over yet." I smirks at him and kisses his hand.

   "Again? But you just surprised me." he chuckles and pinch my cheeks. "So lucky I have a rich boyfriend eh?" he began with a teasing voice.

   "And handsome." I grins.

   "And kind." he nodded.

   "And handsome." I insist.

   "And sweet." he smiles and grins at me too.

   "And handsome." I persist. Raising my brows suggestively.

   "What? I can't hear you."

   "I said handsome. I am handsome." I continue persisting.

   "Sorry. An error occur. Date cannot be found." he imitated a voice of a robot, computer voice perfectly. "Force Shut down occur."

   "Yah! Admit it! I'm handsome!" I beams and smirks.

   He shook his head a lot of times and made a face. "No. Never! Dong Bang Shin Ki's leader is way handsome than you!"

   I acted mad and zips my mouth.

   "Just kidding! You are so handsome Mr. Jung Yunho!" he uttered and pinch at me. "So handsome."

   "I know. I know. No need to chant it." I coughed.

   "He don't know I'm a liar." he whisper loudly, purposely letting me hear it.

   "Yah! I heard that!" I scoffs and he burst laughing and I join him,  laughing too.

   Moments like this with him is simply the best.

--

   "Where are we going?" Jaejoong asked afterwards.

   "Somewhere near Han River." I replied and check the time. "We are just in time."

   "For what?" he asks again, curious.

   "You'll see." I opens the door for him and help him step out of the car.

--

   Jaejoong was about to ask his boyfriend again when the lights in the river turns off. And the people didn't mind it and they continue what they are doing.

   "What's the matter Yunho? Why the place is dark?" he questioned but Yunho just sshh him and he claps.

   Jaejoong confusely look at him. "Look at that way." Yunho points him a bunch of people who was holding something. In a split second, they reveals the thing they are holding and raise it up in the air. It was a glow in the dark board with letters that says, "I LOVE YOU KIM JAEJOONG. STAY FOREVER WITH ME."

   He felt his hand on him and squeezes it. "Will you stay forever with me?" he turns to him and knelt down.

   "I've never been so sure in my entire life but this very moment. I can't do something to cure your disease but I will be with you and I will help you deal the pain. I will stay by your side until our last breath escape from our lungs. Until forever." he sincerely murmurs. "Jaejoong Kim. Will you marry me?"