None of us were stronger than fate, and Yunho learned that the hard way. Because on that fateful day, July 18th, everything they hoped for fell into the darkest pits of nothingness. And every empty promises they uttered was meant to be broken ..

May 23rd

The spring day turned warm to a comfortable heat and Yunho could already feel the scorching heat this coming summer would offer. Trees and plants had already grown back. Yunho sighed and fixed his gaze on their professor and muster the face as if he was listening. He deeply regretted he ever signed up on that summer program of their University, now, he had to endure few more hours before he can see Jaejoong again.

His Jaejoong. Just the thought of having the infamous Kim Jaejoong his was enough for his heart to go on rampage. He smiled but then unwanted thoughts began to surfaced.

He clicked his tongue when those memories was remembered. It was fifty years ago, when he realized how different he was from the normal people he thought he was. It was after the pain that loving brought upon him. And though it was unwanted, he closed his eyes and let those memories dance on his thoughts.

*

He first saw him on their campus, wearing that magnificent smile that could swoon you when it's directed to your way. And Yunho was one of them. But he was the luckiest because before the school announced their upcoming prom, the boy made it's way from the sea of students and asked him to be his date. Yunho could feel the envious looks the crowd had thrown to his way. He had to hardly bit his lips to believe he wasn't just a product of his imagination. And he wasn't. And Yunho said yes. But happily ever after never existed on his entire life.

Though he had lived two hundred years earlier, he had never fallen in love, only that boy who has a magnificent smile made him change his heart. He was his first. In almost everything. His first love. The first person he ever introduced to his parents. The first person he hugged. The first person that made his heart go wild. The first person he ever kissed under the sky full of shooting stars. And the very first person who showed him what pain was and what it felt like.

"I love you but I don't think it would be ideal to be with you." the boy had said. It echoed to Yunho's ears and the crashing sound ran its way to his heart. "You're not like me. I'm not like you. We're different. Like the sun and the moon. I'm mortal. I aged. And grow old and die and you can't do that. Can you?" the boy softly explained. But Yunho knew no matter how soft it sound, the pain would still sting. "I love you Yunho. I really do. But sometimes love isn't enough to stay." the boy continued. A weary smile on his face. Tears on Yunho's. "It's painful but you know it wasn't easy for me too. But hear me out, because you deserve someone better than me. Someone who would stay with you and it's clearly not me. Because I am so coward I can't fight for us for I don't want to be alone, I never did. What I only wanted was to have someone, to be with someone. I had told you that once. Right? I want someone that can be with me. Someone who can grow old with me and it's painful for me to say but you're not that someone. It's not fair, I know but we better end this before it grow even deeper. Once love grew deeper, it would be harder to walk away." the boy said, regret on his voice.

And Yunho can't say he had loved deeper that's why it hurt more. "I'm sorry. But this is goodbye Yunho." the boy kissed him one last time before turning his heels away. And walked away. And every step the boy made, the more cracks it does to Yunho's heart. Yunho looked at his disappearing figure but the boy never looked back. He wanted to go after him, but he knew that the boy had said was true. They deserve someone else.

He don't know what happened but he find himself on a cliff located in the outskirts of town the next day. The cliff that greets the sea, a perfect ending for someone like him, he thought. He slowly walked closer the pit and he heard the rocks fall and he was greeted by an ending silence. He stood there as the sky changes its color again. The once dark sky was replaced by a glint of life when the sun started to rise. It painted a million shades of red and orange and yellow on the sky and on the sea.

But the beauty of nature didn't stopped his urge to end his life. He wiped the tears that had fallen and closed his eyes and his whole body felt light as he fall from that cliff. It was almost midnight when he opened his eyes. The pain on the back of his head prevented him from shotting upright and the broken leg made him to cringe in pain. Countless injuries and disgusting bruises and thick blood all over his body was the only payment of his suicide. His body had paid a dear price but it didn't cost him his life. He felt warm blood gushing from his head and he laid back, expecting to bleed to death. But no such luck. By only few moments, the blood clots, leaving him stiff and sore and sticky. But alive. And he cursed heavens for the curse bestowed upon him.

But he didn't stopped there, the suicide attempts. But no matter what he do, he was never close to death. And he revised his suicide plans over and over again. He tried hanging himself. He tried drowning himself. He tried cutting. And his last resolve was to lie on his bed without eating or drinking. It was almost the fifth day and he was winning on his self destruction. He was so sure he could do it. Just die. But Changmin, his younger brother, walked in and slapped the reality to his face.

It was painful but it snapped him out of his senses. After a year of solitude, shut away from his family, it surprised him when something has meaning again. It was a foreign feeling. Slowly, he learnt to love life again, appreciate the things of life. It was a long road but he had moved on but he had coped the pain only by glueing his broken heart and putting it away, so nothing can ever broke it again.

He grew back busy again and as time passes, the pain lessens. As the time passes, the pain was just part of his memories.

Yunho scowled when the memories ended and though he was no longer in live with that boy, it brought him pain. But he shrugged him off when the most awaited bell rang on his ears. He gathered his things and walked toward the place and the person he had loved more than anyone else. As he walked on the boulevard going to hospital, another bunch of memories came.

A memory of that fateful encounter. The day he and Jaejoong met. The memory he first saw him smile. And in no particular order, when they first kiss. The night of his first attack and that day on the hospital as he deposited him on an empty gurney, the memory of Jaejoong's pained expressions, his tears and the more he remembered, the more painful it gets. But unlike the pain he felt fifty years ago, the pain he was feeling brought him alive. It was a pain worth feeling. Because Jaejoong was worth the pain. Oh, now he missed that Jaejoong more. With hurried but careful steps, he finally reached that place.

Jaejoong welcomed him with a stiff smile. He returned the smile. Then he remembered, it was the first day of his chemotherapy. He gave him an encouraging nod and grabbed his hand. "Don't worry. Okay? Everything's just gonna be fine." he said, bringing his hand to Jaejoong's cheeks. Jaejoong grinned and as if on cue, a nurse popped up from the door. "It's the time of his chemotherapy Mr. Jung." the nurse said and pulled a wheeled bed inside the room, he ushered Jaejoong to lay on it and when the nurse wasn't looking, Yunho placed a soft kiss on Jaejoong's mouth. "It's a good luck charm." he whispered, gaining a slight blush from the other boy. They both smiled, happiness was written on their faces.

Little they did knew, that happiness was such a stark contrast on what was to come ..

They were brought on a room filled with machines that both of them wasn't familiar with. But the thing that caught their eye was a tunnel shaped machine on the left part of the room. Dr. Park smiled at them and wasted no time and instructed Jaejoong to lie on the bed.

The said doctor muttered something that Yunho didn't quite catch, he was busy dealing with the bad feeling on his stomach. He only caught the words, "pain", "cells", and "heat". "Mr. Kim, stayed still and try to relax." Dr. Park's voice echoed on the room. Jaejoong did so.

The bed he was lying at was slowly moved inside the tube Yunho had spotted before. And once Jaejoong was inside, he fought the urge to take back his words. Hell, he forgotten that Jaejoong didn't liked closed spaces.

Before the said therapy was to conduct, Yoochun and Junsu appeared behind him and they sent a pat on Yunho's pale face. Yunho settled his gaze on one of the monitors that showed Jaejoong's facial expressions, and the boy's face was contorted in effort.

The lights inside the tube burned in full brightness and he was sure it blinded Jaejoong's vision. Dr. Park said something before pressing a switch and Jaejoong's expression changed. He heard him yelp and Dr. Park's voice explained it to them. "There's something converging to his body and it's a little painful, he'll get used to it."

But few moments passed but Jaejoong didn't even changed his painful look. He clicked his tongue and was to beg Dr. Park to stop what they are doing to him. But Yoochun's hand halted him. He looked at his eyes only to find his own reflection back.

A silent conversation enraged him and before he act on his anger, he decided the best way to do was to clear out. A tear fell and it blinded his eyes, he bumped into someone and without even bothering to look at the person he caused inconvenience, he said sorry. He had only stepped an inch when a familiar voice called him. "Hyung? Is that you?" that voice said. Yunho turned to look at him and there, he find his brother.

"Changmin?"