"Do you want to run away with me?" Jaejoong had asked. Yunho had smiled, but behind that facade, lies what really their hearts yearned. Ironically, when that words was first uttered, they were both grinning, but now, in the middle of the last page of their story, those words stung, tormenting them.

Yunho grabbed Jaejoong's wheelchair and swiftly exited the place, for one moment, Yunho had actually wanted to run. Run away with him, to the deepest of safe haven where they'll take refuge, hiding from what reality was. But reality wasn't something you could escape from, no matter where they run to, there will be no refuge from that suffering. They can run but they can't escape.

He don't need to ask Jaejoong where they'll go because on that fleeting moment, he felt one with him.

Unlike the first time they went to that place, when laughter erupted the serenity of the night, their walk now was accompanied with silence that falls between comfortable and stiff. But despite unfavorable circumstances, they reached the place in no time.

When his eyes landed on that olden place, he realized he was wrong. Yes. That was the place of their safe haven, their sanctuary. It was where they took refuge. When he looked at Jaejoong, he knew he was thinking the same.

He pulled the key from his pocket and opened it, the smell of the paint they had used ten months ago was faint but still welcomed them, it was a homing feeling.

He settled Jaejoong beside the stereo as he closed the door.

"This sure bring back memories," Jaejoong was the first to speak, wheeling himself before offering a smile to him.

He nodded. "Yeah. This is the spot where we first danced," he said, tapping his foot on the floor, before walking toward the stereo. He turned it on, lowering the volume.

"So..." he trailed off, eyeing Jaejoong who was giving him goofy grins he had fallen in love with. "Shall we dance?" he asked, offering his hand. 

Jaejoong gladly accepted it, before he could retort, Jaejoong used his body as an anchor to stand up, Jaejoong almost succeeded when his left foot tripped.

But his body was there to catch him, he enveloped his arms on Jaejoong's waist. Jaejoong placed his arms on his neck, slowly, they moved on the rhythm of what their last dance is.

"Yunho," Jaejoong called after a while, he hummed in return.

"Are you happy?" the boy asked, he chuckled on that absurd question. The moment he opened his mouth to reply, the song changed.

"Of course I'm happy dummy," he said. "Not to brag, but I'm married with SM Academy's most popular boy. I'm feeling ecstatic actually. What about you? Are you happy?"

He felt Jaejoong nodded. "Can you hear my heartbeats?" Jaejoong asked. "Hear it,"

He scooted closer to Jaejoong, to find his heart beating faster, just like his.

"It's dancing," Jaejoong's voice was giggling. "It dances with the song of happiness only for Jung Yunho." he remarked.

"I'm really lucky then," he said, laughing with him.

A song from a Kpop Group named DBSK was playing now, Yunho closed his eyes, tasting the moment, that's when Jaejoong's even breathing changed. Then, just like a domino when his hope broke, everything seemed to follow.

He hugged him tighter, trying not to let him go, before he could ask what was happening, Jaejoong's voice brought him tranquility, like a lullaby that calmed him.

"I'm fine. Don't worry, I'm fine," Jaejoong muttered.

Yunho knew better than to believe Jaejoong but he slide it off, not commenting any further. Instead, he tighten his hold to him, pulling him closer.

The night was still young but their story was wrapping up to conclusion, both of them was aware of that. After few more songs, Jaejoong spoke again, in a low tone as he gripped his neck.

"I once heard that when people dies, all of their memories will be erased, they'll forget everything. They enter the Heaven with no memories of the one's who cried for them for when they're gone, don't you think that's unfair?" he asked, his voice muffling with the song playing.

"Which side do you think is unfair?"

"Both sides, but I think it's more unfair to those who forgets. They don't have the memories that defined them, I wonder if they feel lost." he continued after few breathings. "It's unfair that they don't have the memories they could dance to, memories they could nurture and hold and play. Memories that built their lives." he mumbled.

It took a while before Yunho could offer anything. "But you know? A life built with only memories isn't much of a life anyway, I think it's a favor to those who die, forgetting everything. The pain things they had or the sad ones. That was the only way you could escape pain. Just forget .." he said. Remembering he had said that to Changmin all those months ago. 

Though he stopped speaking, Jaejoong didn't say anything. That hits him, he mentally cursed himself. He was unconsciously saying he forget him when he die! He groaned to himself. He softly called his name.

"I didn't mean that Jae, I was just saying --" he was cut off by Jaejoong's hand on his lips.

"I know, and I respect you for that. We are we, I know we have different opinions in everything but .." Jaejoong trailed off.

Yunho continued to listen, his tongue thick on his mouth.

Jaejoong's hand raked his messy black locks, face burying on his neck. ".. but I don't want to forget, I don't want to forget you .." Jaejoong said, he felt wet warm tears on his neck.

He rubbed Jaejoong's back, nodding. "Then don't. Don't forget me, I'm sure you'll still remember me, here .." he said, placing his hand on top of his dancing heart. "You'll remember me. Here."

Finally, a smile adorned Jaejoong's face, nodding.

"So you believed in that now, huh?" Jaejoong said afterwards, "That the heart remember what the mind forgets, Oh, I just remembered you saying you don't believed on that crap," his voice was filled with mocking.

Yunho pouted, "Didi say that? Then .. because you're an exception," he simply said, not minding Jaejoong's taunting.

"If you say so, Mister." Jaejoong grinned, shifting his face on his chest, listening to his heartbeats.

After a couple of songs, when Jaejoong's moves started to staggers, he asked, "Aren't you tired? We've been dancing for a while,"

Jaejoong shook his head, "No. Can we stay a little longer?" he requested, Yunho nodded, "Just tell me when you're tired."

His wrist watch ticked loudly on the silence as the song ended, as if fate was taunting them. Jaejoong must have heard it too, because he stopped and faced him.

His face winced in pain, he asked what's wrong, trembling.

"Nothing, just my head. It's nothing .. Let's just dance," he said, placing his hand on his neck again. As he did, he noticed his face contorted in effort to smile, his even breathing changed to series of painful gasps, as if oxygen was escaping his lungs.

He heard Jaejoong said, "No," as he pulled him closer, hand on his mouth to refrain himself from screaming in agony, body trembling. But Yunho knew it, he bit his lips, continuing to dance just like Jaejoong had requested.

The wincing stopped as well as the trembling after a while and Jaejoong's voice calmed him again.

"I'm fine," he said, "But I don't think I can hold on a little longer, Ho, it's too .. painful," he uttered, crying, his hold to him slowly loosening.

It's as if in an instant, a painted beautiful world shattered, only to revealed an ugly and cruel truth behind it. Smiles and laughters changed to what it seemed a never ending tears as dreams shredded and reality took over. 

"Don't talk like that, Dr. Park said .. you're gonna make it. No .. I won't let you die," he said, shooking his head. Was he being selfish? Why can't he just let Jaejoong go and forget the pain? Why? 

Because he wasn't ready yet. It's not part of the plan, they were supposed to enjoy this night, entangled with each others arms, not saying goodbye. No .. It wasn't supposed to be this way ..

"Stay with me," he pleaded. If it wasn't for Jaejoong's body, he must've broken down, just like his heart, disintegrated in pieces.

"No, don't cry .. Please, I want to see you smile. That smile was my anchor, it was more than enough to make up .. for the hell we've been through .." Jaejoong said, his body falling on Yunho's grasps.

He caught him in time but lose his balance, they fell on the floor where they stayed, crying.

Jaejoong was finished but he knew he wasn't telling something.

That's when Jaejoong pulled him closer, shooking his head, "I'm lying," he uttered, "I'm lying Yunho, I want to live, I want to live with you."

Yunho enveloped him in a tight embrace, protecting him, hiding him from the death that awaits them. Jaejoong cried harder.

"I don't want to die," he said finally. "I don't want to die, please don't let me die, Ho."

Yunho nodded, "I won't. I won't .." he recited like a mantra, "Just .. stay with me .."

It was Jaejoong's turn to nod, he gently pushed Yunho. Facing him, he placed a kiss on his mouth. They both smiled between the kisses.

It was their last for Yunho's mouth agape as Jaejoong slowly, so slowly fall and there's a blood rushing down on his nose.

In an instant, he felt the whole word died because his soul had, his time stopped. He screamed his name before scooping him up, and ran.

Dr. Park assured him they'll do everything to save Jaejoong as he deposited him on a gurney where nurses immediately pulled him inside the Emergency Room. Dr. Park patted his back, nodding at him before he stepped inside the ER he's not allowed to go in.

He don't know how long he stood there, thinking nothing at all. His mind was blank, his body was numb, his face sticky and sore from crying but it was his heart that seemed to cease to beat that brought him back to his senses.

The door of the ER creaked open, he quickly stood, Dr. Park walking toward him with serious face that frightens him. He doesn't need to ask, as soon as the doctor was in front of him, he went straight to the point.

"This is the reason why we admitted Mr. Kim here," Dr. Park began. "I'm sorry to tell you but Mr. Kim's immune system was suppressed, he had picked a life-threatning infection that put him into septic shock," he bluntly said, leaving Yunho's mouth hang open. "It's a complication that occurs in less than 5 percent of patients who went through chemotherapy. At this moment, as we speak, he was raging with high fever and freezing cold the next minute, I highly suggest to admit him here, again, to prevent other complications, and just in case .."

Just in case, what? Just in case the infection killed him? He closed his eyes. He wanted to laugh. Kim Jaejoong was dying because of that effin leukemia and now, he had accumulated a dangerous infection. He wanted to laugh, on the irony and unfairness of life, but in contrary of what he wanted to do, he cried.

" .. he's fighting .." he only caught those words, he looked back at Dr. Park, the man repeated it, "Mr. Kim is fighting, so there's no time to cry and fight with him." Dr. Park said before walking away.

Those words echoed to his ears, as he looked at the door of that ER where Jaejoong fights for his life he remembered his words.

"I don't .. want to die .."

He nodded to himself as he wiped his tears and made a desicion right then, a resolve Changmin had suggested two months ago. He shifted his feet and ran, ran toward the humongous void, a gray hollowness that was what his future holds, for that moment though, he don't care about the nothingness that awaits him, all he wanted to do was save Jaejoong.

He hailed a cab and uttered the address somewhere in the outskirts of Myeondong. A place where he'll lose everything.

He closed his eyes and let his thoughts wandered to that day when Jaejoong had his first chemotherapy. When Changmin suggested something that can save them. 

*

"Hyung?" one familiar voice said, wiping his tears, he turned to that way. He find Changmin, his brother he had never seen since eons ago.

They walked toward the hospitals garden, sitting on one of the pavements to catch up with each other.

Changmin told him about his job as a writer on one of the publishing house in Busan, where he lived. He told him about meeting their mother on Jeju Island last summer.

Yunho nodded as his brother told him what he was up to, in return, he told him the life he was living now. He also told him about Yoochun who actually knew hia secret, but accepted him still.

"That's good, I want to meet him too, only few people think being immortal is cool," Changmin commented, smiling.

"So, what brought you here?" Yunho asked, Changmin looked away. 

"Visiting an old friend, how about you? Were you crying before? What's happening?" Changmin asked, concerned for him.

"Oh. I haven't told you about Jaejoong .." he said.

Changmin listened as he told him about Jaejoong. How they met and how they end up on that hospital. In the middle of it, he started to cry.

"We're on numbered days," he uttered, his eyes landed on his brother's face, who gave him a question.

"Do you want to save him?" Changmin asked.

There's no need to ask, Yunho thought to himself. If he only have the power to transfer Jaejoong's pains on him, he would.

He shot him a look, Changmin understood.

"I don't know if I should say this or not, but I might know a way to save this Jaejoong you talked about,"

That gathered Yunho's attention fully, he waited for Changmin to continue, his mind yelling, 'There's a way! There might be a way!'

Changmin cleared his throat and looked straight at him. 

"There's an old woman that lived in the outskirts of Myeongdong that can help you with that, I think she's a Gypsy back then who devoted herself on ensorcellment. Someone I know went there when he was on the edge of despair, and that woman helped him," Changmin paused to breathe. "That woman executed a spell she mastered, it saved his wife that was dying after a car accident. It can save Jaejoong too. All you have to do is be ready on the price you have to pay." Changmin finished.

Yunho took a while to take those words in. A spell that can save Jaejoong? He was about to say he would do it and pay no matter how much. Before he could speak, Changmin broke the eye contact abd he heard him sighed. And that hit him. A shred of hope he felt melted like an ice cream under sunny day, the faint light he saw in the dark was emerging with darkness itself, his stomach churned when Changmin's voice explained something.

"It was a forbidden spell that affect the constant flow of life, carrying it out comes with a great price," Changmin said, looking back at him, unblinking, as if not to miss any of his reactions. As he waited for the price he had to pay, a bad feeling on his stomach returned he almost puke.

"Memories," Changmin muttered, "Your existence to the person you wanted to save was the cost. All of that would be erased. Not just to the person, but to all the people you know that he did too, even Yoochun," he glances at him, "You will be forgotten, and no bits of any of the memories you had shared with them will ever emerge again, you'll be the nameless face on the crowd to those people you care about,"

Yunho frowned, not fully understanding it. "What would happen to me then?" he voiced, a stiff smile on Changmin's face saddened him.

"Nothing will happen to you, it was the consequence, your memories will stay. And it meant to give you torture because while they don't have memories of you, it will be the ones that haunt you, alive or asleep."

The silence and horror on Yunho's face didn't stop Changmin to go on.

"Sounds crazy, right? The crazier thought was, once the spell was done, Jaejoong will miraculously heal and he'll live but you're not allowed to come to him and tell him everything, or else, the spell will be revoked and he'll die in an instant, right then and there .." Changmin trailed off, feeling bad when he saw Yunho's face.

"There must be other way," Yunho said unsurely, "I'm sure his medication will save him, not to mention the chemotherapy,"

"If there's another way, do you think I'll propose this? This is the only way, medicines are chemicals but it can't save him fully, chemotherapy's results vary, and it's not reliable," Changmin said, "It's up to you to decide, you now have the chance to save him."

Yunho stayed still, afraid to voice his thoughts, because he's still trying to formulate a response. It was too much to comprehend. He'll be forgotten? He wanted to laugh. That's -- that's absurd! To make Jaejoong forget he loved him? No one could do that. Jaejoong won't forget him.

On his lack of response, Changmin patted his back, "You're not totally going to lose him, you still have a part of him. You can hold your memories, you can remember it every day," Changmin said, all the while comforting him. 

But memories fade, no matter how you reminisce it, you'll start to lose some of it as time goes by, leaving you to the place who knows where. Yes, you can hold it, but memories alone wasn't enough. A life built in memories was not much of a life anyway.

He turned to Changmin, asking, "How do you know how the spell works?"

For a moment, he caught a glimpse of a broken boy that was his brother who hide under his charade of smiles.

Changmin looked away, and when he turned back his gaze on him, he realized his face gave it all away, "Why do you think I know that?" Changmin questioned back. Yunho swallowed the lump on his throat, Changmin's eyes was clouded with unbearable pain, thinking some time later, his eyes and face would have been like his.

"I was the first one who went through that spell that defy the mightiness of death and alter the idea of life," he whispered. "And I'm really impressed, because no matter how many times I walk to her, she never recognized me, but you'll get used to it, just like I did." he faked a laugh, standing up.

Yunho didn't comment any further, he still can't fathom everything his brother had said, he shrugged it off.

But it kept him awake for nights, thinking how Changmin allowed the spell to lose his wife, but now, as that scene ended to his mind, he realized how Chamgmin must be feeling before he agreed to prosecute the spell. 

Despair. They were in the verge of losing all hope, and it took a life threatening infection for him to agree.

The cab stopped on the house near the river of Myeongdong. He stepped closer, Jaejoong's words echoing to his ears.

"I don't want to forget .."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Jae,"

He was knocking on the door now as he remembered Jaejoong's words that toughen his resolve.

"I don't want to die .."

"Don't let me die .."

"I won't," he whispered, The door was finally opening, before it did, he whispered in the air, wishing it'll reach Jaejoong's ears, "I love you, Kim Jaejoong."

An old woman greeted him, opening the door widely, he stepped in. And the beautiful miracle that came to his life was coming to an end.

It was July 18th, the fateful day. The day when their story ended. The day when their love will fall on haunted spaces between gigantic void. The day when all their promises was descending to pits of emptiness.

But even if Yunho was on the last page of his and Jaejoong's story, he smiled. He will believe, in the power of miracles ..