Authors note: Okay guys, This chapters going to be extra long, I am tring to get as much as the drama I can into it since these lat few chapters have totally gone down hill to me. But I hope you enjoy. /Smiles/

"Why, Why, Whyyyy," I whined at as I looked at myself through my bathroom mirror.

I looked absolutely terrible. I felt absolutely terrible. I hated myself right now.

"I- .... I look so fat! Why! What the hell is this happening for!" I raged while putting my hands on my head.

I heard a knocking sound come from the front door followed by the door bell ring.

I sighed."Coming-" I said loudly as I made my way out the bathrom and to the living room. I rested my hand on the handle of the front door and opened it.

"Annyeonghaseyo my princess!" Niel said smiling as he waved.

"Hi." I stepped aside to let him come in."Niel, Give me your honest opinion."

"Huh?" He questioned sitting down on the couch and looked up at me.

"Do I-" I hesitated.

"You do...?" He repeated.

"Do I," I continued."Look fat to you..? Be honest."

"Of Course not Jagiya. You look like a goddess." He smiled.

"Niel, I am serious. Don't lie.." I sighed while sitting down next to him.

"Hun, I think you look flawless with whatever weight you are." He wrappped his arms around me and kissed my forehead.

"R-Really?" I blushed.

"Of Course, But, You could lay off on the junk food."

"So you do think I'm fat."

"Well I'm just telling you, Basically if you don't like what you see, Fix it."

I pouted."I've been trying! It won't go away!"

"Maybe it will soon. But for right now we need to go treat your mother to lunch." He let go of me and stood up. 

I nodded and stood up as well.

The whole ride home I had been thinking about what Niel said. I don't know what else could possibly be the problem. I have been craving snacks alot lately. I haven't gotten my period- Unless, I could be- No, No way. 

Anways, Lunch with my mom was great. She and Niel talked alot about his family and how they were doing. I think Niel is the only boy my mom approves of me being with. I wouldn't blame her. He's a pretty decent guy.

"Hmm," Niel hummed reaching for the radio and pushing a button for it to come on.

I looked out the window and sighed. So many thoughts were running through my head. So many answers I wanted. Whats wrong with me.

"Hun?" He asked taking a quick glance at me before locking his eyes back on the road."You okay?"

I took a huge gulp."Yeah.. "

"Doesn't sound like a promising answer,"

I sat there silently thinking.

Maybe I should just tell him that this isn't a sickness. Tell him what is really on my mind, Because you don't run into ordinary 'colds' like this everyday.

"Again, Tell me please?" He repeated.

I quickly looked over at him."..."

"Mani, Seriously." He sounded a bit fustraghted at this point.

"Niel .. remember a couple weeks ago.. When you and I.. you know .. made love?"

"Mhm," He nodded.

"I think that I might be..." I sighed."How do I-"

"Don't say it," He bite his lip."I knew you were pregnant already, Heh," He smiled.

"... Idiot!" I said slapping the back of his head.

"Ow! What was that for!?" He rubbed the back of his head.

"For planning this! During your work! During my work! How will my mom react to this! How will your mom react to this!? Im only 21 gosh dammit! I don't  deserve this!"

"What! I'm just completing my dreams! Which is that I wanted to start a family early and quickly, And I thought that now would be the right time. Plus  you went along with it." He pouted as the car started to slow down.

"But Niel, How can we even do this. We aren't married, We don't live together, Aish there is so many things!"

"I can come and visit time to time like I always do, After work hours I will come and check on you guys.. Then go home, and only spend nights on some  weekends."

".. Your still not thinking this through, What about your fans, the Media, Everyone what will they think of this? Having a child out of wedding lock is like  walking out on the street . Its frowned upon, and I don't want people to look at me like that.. I am already somewhat hated with some of your fans..  And I know people probably think I am a home wrecker right now.. But If we are honestly going to do this.. Either we are going to have to break off our  relationship until the baby is born; Or either we get married quickly."

He put the car in park and looked over at me."You know I don't agree with that first choice.."

"Then I guess we are going to have to get married then." I sighed reaching down to the floor to get my bag.

"I don't agree with that one either,"

I slowly glared at him."Daniel this isn't a time to be picky."

"I'm not.. I just can't do any of those.."

"Oh yeah? Then do you have a better solution smart ?"

"Your mood swings are kicking in.." He closed his eyes leaning his head up agains't the head rest. 

"Ugh, You know what? Why don't you hurry and make a decision on what you want to do. And you better think of it fast; Or else I will."

"And what will you do? Break up with me- Again?" He put the car to a stop and set it in park.

I didn't say a word to him. I just kept gathering my things.

"Mani.. Seriously come on this is childish.."

"Oh? I am helping you! I am supposed to protecting your image! And I will be damned if I get fired because you won't listen to me!"

"I don't get it why are you so upset." He yelled in fustration.

"Why am I upset!? Why am I upset!? Because! I care about you! I am willing to push myself to the side so you don't get introuble! So your fame won't run  down the drain! So your fans won't hate you! And so people won't look down at you like they do to me! Do you know how they will react to this!? You  have seen it! You have ing seen it! I told you! Its frowned upon! I understand that you want to make this happen but they way its going things won't  turn out like a sunny day okay! Now if you'd excuse me I have a serious decision to make!" I grabbed the hand of the door and pulled it. Once I got out the car I started making my way up the stairs.

"Mani .. Can't we just- Talk this out.." 

I stopped in my tracks and looked back at him."Go home. Its late," I turn back around and continued on my way.

[NO POV]

In the room Niel and Changjo shared was dark. The door was locked, the blinds of the window's were shut tight with the curtains covering them. In one bed layed Changjo sound to sleep, In the other layed a wide awake Niel. He sighed heavely tossing a blanket over his head. So many thoughts were crossing his mind at the moment. He was worried, Scared, Exhausted, and fustrated.

"What is she going to do.." He whispered to himself."Maybe I should text her.." He bite his lip and reached for his phone that was charging on the edge of the bed.

Hun.. Can we please talk about this.. I am honestly getting worried. I don't know what your thinking and If I don't know that it starts to bother me.. Promise me you won't do anything stupid.. Just- talk to me. 

sent.

He sighed again and placed the phone on his chest.

"Hyung?"

He peeked from other the covers and looked at the other side of the room."Jonghyun?"

"Nae,"

"I thought you were sleeping,"

"Well," Changjo sat up in his bed."I couldn't after I hear you talking to yourself."He snickered."Thats kind of creepy you know."

"Ahh, Mianhae.. I just.. I just.." He sighed again.

"Did I forget to add the depressing sighs to?"

Niel sighed once again.

"Thats about the 500th time I have heard it."

"Sorry Maknae.. Its just.. I'm going through something."

"Ohhh, Tell me maybe I can help!"

Niel luaghed slightly."Trust me, You wouldn't understand."

"Is it about mama?"

"Mama? Eh?"

Changjo scratched his head."I mean Mani,"

"... Like I said you wouldn't understand."

"Yahh Hyung come on I want to know!" He whined.

"Jonghyun, Go to sleep. It's late, and we have to get up early."

"Hyung I should be telling you that."

"Yeah Yeah Yeah, Go to sleep bear." Niel turned over in his bed and shoved the blankets back over him.

"Night fishie,"

"Good night."

[3:43 AM]

Niel, I know what I want to do. I am just going to leave the country, and raise the baby on my own. I know when you read this you wouldn't want things to happen this way. I am not breaking up with you, I am just trying to get our child to a safe place near no drama. I want him or her to come in this world safe. ... I love you alot, And I did not mean to snap at you.. I just want things to be okay.. Take care of yourself okay? I will see you in a year.. I will text you every now and then to tell you whats going on.. Just focus on your work.. take care of the rest of the guys, Tell Syung Huun whats going on. And do tell him not to tell anyone. Now. I hope your having a nice sleep.. and I'm sorry you have to wake up to this news. But its for our family. I love you.

Sent.