“You know that I……….” Himchan cut Jinnie, he made the hug even tighter not letting her go

“Please” Himchan whispered furiously “I know, but I will always try my best. I will do everything to make you can love me again, I’m not going to ask you or even force you anything. Just let me love you so I can show you. I know all this time I always being selfish to you, I always did what I want, and this time I beg you to let my selfishness over and over again. I want you to let me try, that’s it Jinnie”

Jinnie know, everything that Himchan did is always for her, to made her safe and happy even though sometimes Jinnie hates the way he did it, but the hate is just as much as her love for him. But, it’s not the love for a woman to a man. And Himchan also know that, but he never tired.

“I don’t want to hurt you” Jinnie whispered as she clenched his shirt “My heart is hurt when you hurt, I don’t want that. We’ve been talking about this a long time ago Himchan. Once you realized you will got tired and walk away and after that our friendship will be broke too, I don’t want to lose you just because of that”

“Don’t say that, I will stay, we will stay together. I just always think that may be something will happen and change your heart. I know I have a chance, that’s why I will always try” He let the hug and reached her hands, he hold it softly “Let me” Himchan said while looked at her eyes, Jinnie saw the sincerity. Even when she didn’t look at his eyes, she will know that Himchan was sincere. She knew that he loved her, that’s why she never let him, especially when she began to realize that she has grown a feeling for someone.

Someone who being loved by her sister. Since that knew she have to forget any feeling to him. But she didn’t realize that the feeling grew bigger when she knows that the man she loved has the same feeling.

When life offers her something she never imagined. When she didn’t know what she wants and what she needs. Would Jinnie use her brain or heart to decide it?

She wants something but couldn’t get it for the sake of her twin. She thought, might be God already tested her and decided there will be another man that will always love her. She nodded as an answer.

“Thank you” Himchan pulled her again into embraces “Thank you so much,Jinnie. I love you”

By that, Himchan walked her home. They entered the lift as he took her hand to hold. There was no word inside the lift, they just shared a smile and sometimes he rubbed her hand while holding it. When they reached the door, Himchan cupped her face to put a kiss on her forehead before leave “Sleep well”

She nodded and smile at him “You too” and then Himchan walked to his dorm. They don’t know someone just followed them since the parking lot. He watched everything when they were in the car without even knowing what was happen. Luhan’s already saw when accidentally Himchan kissed her in the rooftop of her office, but when he watch Himchan kissed her on the forehead, it makes him looked away. Not wanting to see the next, he walked away before his heart broke even more. The picture of their long tightly hug in the car and the holding hands, and they shared the smile was replayed in Luhan’s mind. He canceled his intention to meet her. How he missed talking with her, telling his story and listen her story, laughing together. Even sometimes Luhan got jealous with BAP boys who can touch her naturally, for him only just their skin touched each other when they standing next to each other or when she slapped his arm because of his jokes, is enough to makes him happy.

 

 

Jinnie drive her car to the hospital. She thought it was the right time to talk with Winnie. Never in her life they fought each other, all this time it’s always Jinnie who relented. She always give what her twin sister asked. A clothes, dress, accessories, food and any help that can’t be mentioned when Winnie was in trouble. Jinnie always took care of Winnie because she’s the only one she had. Winnie is not a bad girl or prankster one, she’s also love her sister so much but sometimes it’s just her childishness and behavior that made them different.

“Doctor Winnie?” Jinnie asked one of the nurses at receptionist table

“Miss Jinnie?” A few of them already knew Winnie had a twin because sometimes she brought Jinnie to the hospital “She just finished the surgery, maybe will be at her room in 5 minutes”

“Okay, thanks. I’ll just wait there” Jinnie went upstairs to Winnie’s room. When she entered, Winnie is not even here, maybe she was on her way.

“I’m sorry I just fin….” Winnie apologized to a woman that she thought was her patient but suddenly stopped as she knew who it was. Her face turned mad “Why you were here, please go. I have a lot of patient waiting for me” She said as she opened the door, give her twin sign to go out.

Jinnie walked to her and close the door, she locked it and pulled the key into her blazer pocket.

“Give it to me! If you won’t go then I will go” She tried to reach the key but Jinnie kept it

“I’m not a liar” Jinnie said that as she looked at her eyes. Winnie turned away and walked to the edge of the room. She show her back to Jinnie.

“Are you that mad at me? Why Winnie Why? Did I wrong if I went out with Luhan?”

Now that Winnie turned back “Of course, you know that I loved him for a long time but….”

“We went out together with Xiumin and Sehun with his friends, we went out as a friend, there’s nothing between me and him, Winnie”

“Nothing? You said that nothing when I heard clearly that he missed you and you never call him back? Jinnie if you wanna know he never call me, it’s always me who start to call him first, he never asked me out, it’s always me. Now you said nothing between you too? The hell Jinnie, just get out please”

“I said you the truth that Luhan and me is just a friend” Jinnie walked a step closer

“He told me that he already had a girl that he likes, is that you, right?” Winnie took a step closer. Her question made her cant said anything. Luhan already told her in the lift.

“Why? Or he even already confessed to you? But you hide it from me? Answer me Jinnie now answer!”

“I don’t know what makes you this mad, it’s not like you” She took the key inside her pocket and put it on the table “All this time I always did everything you want, I give everything you asked. Now that I have a friend who know me first before you but when he want to hanging out and be friends with me but you mad at me. If you want that okay, I will stay away from him”

“You like him, right? Oh no! maybe you love him. I know, you are the one who encourage me to be with him but now you just leaked your secret about your feeling like you leaked the song”

“I’m not leaked the song!” Now it’s was Jinnie that yelled at her

“Oh, the Jinnie could be this angry, I just know”

“Winnie stop !”

Winnie walked even closer and standing in front of Jinnie “Tell me that you didn’t love him”

“I have no feelings to him” Jinnie whispered that. She lied. Now she trusted herself that she had the feeling, she was stumbling when said that, there was rejection inside her.

“Indeed, a liar. Look at me and swore you didn’t love him” Winnie walked to the door, she entered the key and open the door for her. Jinnie walked to her and before she leave she said “I’m sorry”

She couldn’t hold it anymore. But she didn’t dare to say that by . A half of her still not sure about the feeling. Everyday she tried to make herself sure that she doesn’t love him, but when people and Winnie force her to answer it’s only make the feeling out, it made the love grew a little more each day. It made something inside her struggling. The more she tried to forget it, the bigger her feeling grown. The longer they are not met each other, the stronger the sense of longing that arises. Once they met each other, the feeling just got even worse. The incident and his confess made everything difficult. The harder she forbade herself, the greater her feelings grow.

 

 

Again and again Jinnie spent her night at the rooftop. She's didn't write a song or staring the night sky, she was drunk. Even though she had high tolerance, but whenever it get too much of course people can get drunk. She doesn't want to shared about what was happen today. Jinnie just too tired to tell her friends. Usually, if she couldn't tell the boys, there will someone who will asked her or made her told him something. Luhan. He always had his way to made her told him and in the same time made her happy to spent time with him. Luhan is a good listener. He also a good adviser. His aura could made her calm and awkward in the same time. Now, Jinnie just ignored him, again.

Jinnie was lonely tonight. She want to cry over her sister, her uncle, the rumor about her. But she couldn't. She was too tired, her heart too tired. She brought a lot of beer to her rooftop,it was only for inventory at first. But she didn't realized when one of the bottle is over, she will open another bottle. When she got a bit dizzy, she stopped herself. She know it was reached her limit. Jinnie sit on the floor,rested her body on the wall that was the barrier of the rooftop. Once she tried to stood up, her trembling legs made her sit again. Her consciousness is only left 50%. She can't back home like this because she knows when her body can't hold it anymore, she would just fainted in the way. She stayed still for a while until her ears heard someone came, she throw her face away when Luhan appeared.

 

Luhan who noticed she was sit on the floor walked to her in hurry. When he was about to reached her hand for help her get up, Jinnie slapped his hand away and reached another bottle. Luhan fixate his gaze to Jinnie who couldn't open the bottle because she has no strenght. "Jinnie" He called

"Go, go away" Jinnie murmured, her eyes opened a half

Luhan took the bottle away from her, and carry her even though she dodged his arms, but Jinnie can't fight him. Luhan carry her in bridal style to the couch inside the room. In her rooftop, there's a small room with a big couch and television, it was like mini living room.

 

He rested her body in the couch and sit beside her.

"What makes you like this?" He asked her

"I met Winnie today"

Luhan waited her to speak.

"She still mad at me, I'm not a good sister" Jinnie said with a soft voice, her eyes was heavy and she couldn't hold it anymore "She really want to know if I had a feeling to you......" she murmured with her drunk voice

"Then what did you say?" Luhan asked her, move closer to her. He looked at Jinnie who already fall asleep. He took a deep breath and took off his jacket to put it on her body. He doesn't want her to get cold. He rubbed softly her hair, gave him a better view to see her face properly. Luhan started to stare at her. Her eyes who has a triple eyelid in the right and double eyelid in the left. Her small nose that not too pointy but high enough. Her red cheeks because she was drunk and that slightly open.

Luhan put his finger near of , he could feel her warm breath and it made him chuckled of shy. Because of the weather, Jinnie couldn't breathe properly with nose.

"Not only her, I also want to know if you had the same feeling with me" he whispered. Luhan get up, slowly he move Jinnie's body so she can lie down all of her body in the couch, he carry her legs to the couch too. Then Luhan sat down in the floor beside her. He hugged both of his knees to his chest while facing her. He smiled a bit "Talking to you were sleep like this is easier than when you awake. Because when I talked to now, you won’t hear me right? You will only ignoring me" Again Luhan let out a chuckled shyly, he shook his head "Why I became this shy suddenly" He whispered

 

"Jinnie, do you remember when we went out, we almost got caught by fans? It was when we went to the coffee shop beside your old apartment, we ordered something and you saw a fans with a camera suddenly you pushed me away then act like we didn't know each other, when I saw there was a few fans in the door I knew why you ignored me, we pay our own drink and you stood up far away from me, even when we want to leave the coffee shop and back to apartment, on the way we still walked with distance. Your act was awesome, it's cute. When I look at you from afar you rolled your eyes and both of us can't hold the laugh, until we arrived at the lobby we let out a big laughter together and you asked me to give you a money because I said I will treat you at that time but I can’t " Luhan laughed softly as he recalling the moment.

"But now I don't know the reason you did it" He sighed heavily and put her chin on the couch in the free space beside Jinnie's arm. “Everytime I talked about you to EXO they were just told me to stay away from you, they know it would be difficult if we went out too often, but the more they warned me, the more I want to meet you. I want to spent my free time to talk to you, laugh with you, playing some games with you even though I know you didn’t likes game, but it’s nice when you got annoyed because you lose. You are beautiful when suddenly your mood turned bad” Luhan rested his hands in the couch and put his head on it, he started to sleepy “I don’t know what’s happen to me at that time. I just want to meet you, talk to you, laugh, plays, eat, even when we didn’t do anything or talked about something, just sit next to each other. I don’t even know did you happy when you was with me or not. I just want to do that and I don’t even know why. I have no reason why I becoming like that” He remembered the moment in his head, when there was a time both of them just sit in her rooftop next to each other without words, without do something, they just spent their night with each other presence.

“Until I realized, I missed you when you are not here. A year without you. No messages from you” Luhan talked about the time when Jinni was in Italy “I don’t know what are you doing there, with who, I can’t talk to you I can’t do anything. I was struggled to killing my free time. A little inside me, was upset. I was mad at you. You leave me without even told me. I know I have no right to mad at you, I was nothing compared to your bestfriends but in the other side I’m glad you want to spend your time with me. When Winnie asked me to hang out, I was happy but then when I met her I know she’s not you, it was not you, I’m really sorry to her for that. Jinnie, if it’s not love then what it is? Why it’s hurt when I saw you so close with Himchan? Why it’s hurt me when I saw you cried? Why it’s so hurt when you walk away from me?” Luhan closed his eyes while he rested her head on his hand in the couch. He had no specific reason why he loved her. When he loved, he just loved. His love doesn’t need a reason why, he just want her, need her with all of her side. She’s special in every way she is. No need a good reason like pretty face, good manner or anything that people said ideal type. He doesn’t care at all. Jinnie soothed luhan naturaly, without even trying. Her presence did it. And Luhan presence did the same thing to her.

Luhan was suddenly fall asleep with his head on the couch. He doesn’t know that Jinnie has faked her sleep when he was talked. She heard everything. It doesn’t hard for her to hold her laugh or hold the tears. Now that she knew Luhan was sleep, the tears started to flowed. She put her hand to rubbed Luhan’s hair softly, just like Luhan did. She rubbed it too carefuly, she scared to wake him up. But before she even could, Luhan’s phone ringing. In hurry, she wiped away her tears and closed her eyes. Luhan talked on the phone with someone while he ruffled his hair. It was Luhan manager who called him, he asked him to back to the dorm. Luhan got up and rubbed her forehead with this thumb, he want to place a kiss there. But when his lips almost touched her forehead, he back off. He though it was bad if he kissed her while she slept, she was mad at him right now, this is that Luhan know. He planted a kiss on the back of her hand and put her hand inside his jacket as a blanket. When Luhan leave her, Jinnie open her eyes, she was smiled as she hugged his jacket with her hand touched the place of her other hand that was just kissed by Luhan.

 

 

Unlike Jinnie who loves to spend her time in a quiet place to calm her, Winnie spent her night outside. She went to the place where a lot of people there. It’s also because she doesn’t get her lunch today because of her twin visited her. She went to the cafe near the hospital to get her dinner that also her late lunch. The café actually was hectic because they served a lot of game for their customer.  So they can eat while playing games. But because Winnie come alone here, she only ordered a food for her hungry tummy.

When her food just came, a six peoples entered the the café, the table beside her is the only table that was left. She didn’t noticed VIXX just sat beside her table. N and Hongbin who already know her, greeted her “Doctor Winnie?” Hongbin said first, N told Hyuk Ravi and Ken that she is Jinnie’s twin sister. Not to mention Leo that greeted her with a little bow

“Hmm?” She tried to remember his name, but she only knew Leo since he was her patient. “Ah,, VIXX right?” She tried to show a good manner by stood up while N introduces her with another VIXX member. After handshake with VIXX she back to eat her food while all of them sat and ordered something. Ken and N walked to another directions to get some of them games. While waiting their food, they was played some games with card and bell on the table. She only heard they were yelling and shouted at each other crazily. She took a glance at Leo, he was the only one that didn’t join the game. He rested his body to the chair lazily and looks really not interesting or rather sleepy. Leo caught Winnie while she looked at him, suddenly she threw her face away and back to the food.

Leo stood up from his table, and moved to lie down in the mini sofa in front of Jinnie, which is the same table with her, without even asked her first or said something.

“I’m sorry, just because I look at you doesn’t mean I ask you to sit with me” Winnie said

Leo chuckled “They were too noisy, I’m sleepy” He said as he closed his eyes while he crossed his hand in front of his chest “Plus, I didn’t sit here to accompany you”

“But this is my table, you can’t sit here Jung Taekwoon” She called Leo’s real name, it made Leo woke up “Didn’t you see other table was full? If I sit there fans will know me, just eat your food” Leo shocked, this is his first time heard his name called by a woman that didn’t know him very well. Winnie’s table and their table are facing the wall, that’s why no one will notice there’s VIXX here.

Winnie started to annoyed. She pretended like Leo wasn’t here, in front of her. Even VIXX member doesn’t care at all when Leo moved to her table. It looks like they already knew that it was usual for Leo behave like this.

“How’s your leg?” Winnie

“Fine”

“At least show your manner when you were in other people’s table”

“Just pretend like I’m not here” He said that calmly with his eyes closed, as if he didn’t do anything wrong. Winnie rolled her eyes as she saw N mouthing something “He was like that” and she nodded to response N. She checked her phone if there was a message and yes there is.

 

 

From: Luhan

Where are you now?

Can we meet up?