Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

-

"Hello?" A voice questioned, as if uncertain.

"Hey, Kibum-hyung, are you free now? I-"

"Kevin!" Another voice loudly called, causing both man on the phone to be able to hear him.

"I'm on the phone! Wait, uh-"

"We're free now, let's go to some ice-cream parlour!" Eli grinned brightly, even flashing his wallet in a silent gesture to say he was paying.

Kevin bit his lip, sighing and then nodding. "Um, sorry, I guess something has cropped up, sorry."

"It's okay." Kibum's voice softly replied. Maybe he was in a meeting or doing something in a library. Guess it's really okay. "Bye."

"Mm, bye." Kevin said, ending the call.

"Let's go?" Eli smiled at Kevin, hand held out in anticipation of Kevin's hands sliding into his.

Kevin smiled sweetly with a nod, head suddenly filled up with thoughts only about ice-cream.

-

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
The clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

-

Kibum looked at his phone and smiled weakly. Was that the fifth time Eli asked Kevin out when the two of them were both free? Was that the fifth time Kevin called to ask if he was free or not, and then agreeing to Eli's requests instead?

At home with nothing better to do, Kibum wished he could just yell into the phone and screamed about how he had nothing to do, how his life is messed up and Kevin should do something about it.

It was a lot easier when Kibum could be there to ask Kevin out when the managers let them out. When Eli was always somewhere else, when the two were crazily in love, when Kevin was always in his arms.

When kisses in their houses were too many to count, when hugs existed in the bathroom and the bedroom, when Kevin and Kibum wouldn't sleep just so they could talk about stupid things.

But ever since then, the company told Eli and Kevin to get closer. They did, and slowly became too attached that Kevin doesn't choose to pull away, and of course, they weren't allowed to. 

Dark clouds hovered over the city, threatening to rain, and Kibum sighed as he walked to the windows to bring them in closer just so rain doesn't pour in like it did yesterday.

Taking in a deep breath, he then tried to distract himself with anything. Rereading the newspaper, doing some household chores, even cooking up a nice meal (he had too many chances to practise, since Kevin was away so much). He then went back to the couch and shook his head.

His hands couldn't distract him from all the thoughts of Eli and Kevin enjoying themselves somewhere else in this same city. 

-

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I'm happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

-

Watching different shows of the new U-Kiss that was promoting right then, he saw Eli and Kevin standing close in too many of them. 

When Eli makes a joke, or say something mildly funny, Kevin breaks out into a hearty laughter. Even Kevin's hand slaps Eli's chest as if to ask the slightly older to not make him laugh, a gesture Kevin only did to Kibum months before.

The door to their house was unlocking right then, and Kibum quickly closed the various programs on his laptop by pressing down the lid. He then waited patiently for the door to open, and when Kevin walked in, the two exchanged polite greetings.

"Were you at home all this while?" Kevin asked, taking off his bag and settling it neatly on the floor near the door.

"Yeah." Kibum nodded, patting the couch to invite Kevin over.

"It's okay, I'm going to take a shower." Kevin smiled, walking past the spacious couch into their room, leaving Kibum alone again.

When he managed to pick out clothes he wanted to wear after his shower, Kevin realised how mean he had been. 

Kibum must have picked up the signs long ago. It wouldn't take a genius to realise Kevin was with some other guy a lot more than he was with Kibum.

The dimmed light in Kibum's eyes, those that shone once upon a time, that dejected look Kevin managed to ignore when he walked away a moment ago. Kevin clenched his fist and tried to forget, forget that they were once a couple that Kevin had dreamed of being a part of.

If he didn't, then his heart would stop him from fulfilling unwritten rules in his contract.

-

I don't want to do this anymore
I don't want to be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

-

"When is it enough?" Kevin asked his manager, head resting against Eli's shoulder. "When can I stop acting like I'm forever amused by Eli, forever with Eli, forever looking only at Eli?"

Eli looked at Kevin weirdly. "Something wrong?"

"I left the house today and Kibum-hyung gave me a smile that barely looked like one. Even exerting his cheek muscles were exhausting already." Kevin raised his head and buried them in his hands. "It's horrible to know I was the one that made him this way."

"Don't worry." Eli pressed a light kiss against Kevin's lips by raising the younger's head, and Kevin didn't pull away. "He's old enough to decide if he still wants to be with you or not. Let him decide for himself."

Kevin doesn't say that Eli was addressing some other problem. That the problem in the issue was them two, and not Kibum.

He lets Eli deepen the kiss, something that gradually became normal between them. A tongue slid across his bottom lip, and he parted them, knowing very well that it was wrong.

-

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be, a murderer

-

Kibum was sleeping on the couch when Kevin returned home, the sight breaking the younger's heart.

Walking quietly to the older, he shook Kibum gently awake with a small smile. Kibum stirred and peeked open one eye, seeing Kevin and then greeting him incoherently.

"Come on, let's get you to bed." Kevin whispered, fearing that he was too loud for Kibum's ears. As Kibum was hung over his shoulders and dragged to their room, he bit his lip and hoped Kibum didn't register the smell of lingering on his body.

Kibum pulled away dizzily, turning back to the couch. "The bed is for you."

Kevin held back his tears while staring at Kibum's back view, the older blindly finding his way back to the couch.

So they weren't even going to share a bed to lie to the walls that their hearts were still as one?

"Good night."

Kevin fell on his knees and broke down at the warm greeting, wondering whose heart was breaking more in this situation.

"G-Good night." Kevin mumbled, finding comfort in the cold floor instead. 

-

I feel it in the air, as I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek, he's here reluctantly
As if I'm going to be out late

-

Kibum doesn't say a word as he stared at Kevin pick out pretty clothes, moving to the mirror and then styling his own hair.

Eli had messaged the younger earlier to say they had two hours before their first schedule, and they should make use of the time to eat some candy floss in a park, which in simpler terms means, have a date.

Kibum walked into the same bathroom and looked at Kevin through the mirror. He carefully inched closer, watching how the awkward distance between them looked even weirder as he neared the younger.

Kevin held his breath as Kibum's lips decided to press down on his cheek instead. He watched Kibum pull away and then gaze at the area he had kissed, before dropping his head to admire the floor without a word.

Kevin fixed the stray strands of hair carefully and saw Kibum busied himself with the many products at the corner of his eyes.

They were both distracting themselves from the painful distance between them.

-

I say I won't be long, just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

-

"I won't be long, just out for two schedules." Kevin muttered the lie easily. "Lunch with the members and all."

Kibum nodded without facing the younger, humming a reply. He then arranged the products neatly and smiled slightly at the mirror. "Have fun."

Kevin coughed at the sudden rush of emotions choking him. He watched Kibum turn to the door with a face contorted in pain, as if seeing through Kevin's overused lie. 

Kibum halted and held both sides of Kevin's sleeveless jacket from behind him, tugging the creases so they smoothened out, as if helping him look his best.

Releasing his hands and stepping back, he pulled away from their half-hug and sighed inaudibly.

"Have fun."

-

Our love, his trust,
I might as well take a gun 
And put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this anymore, anymore

-

Kevin gripped tightly onto the hairspray he was holding, looking at his image.

The man that was dressing up for some other man he wasn't in a relationship with, the man that was taking advantage of Kibum's trust in him, the man that was making Kibum hang onto the last of their love.

Would it be easier to just ask for a break up? To let Kibum find someone else that'd cherish him the way he cherishes them?

To stop breaking the pieces of Kibum's broken heart, to stop going back to the house they once called their home, to stop lying to each other that their past love still exists flawlessly.

But Kevin can't let go.

He can't live with the thought that Kibum wouldn't be there when he goes back home late at night. He can't live with the thought that the only real thing left to keep him alive was the only thing he was hurting, the only thing he was killing.

Kibum held the door open for him as Kevin walked towards the shoe rack.

"Kibummie-hyung..." Kevin whispered the nickname he hadn't called in months.

With tears falling, hearts breaking, Kevin forced his lips against Kibum's and cried at how those familiar lips wouldn't kiss him back anymore. He then shoved his tongue into Kibum's parted lips and fought for their love, only realising how late he was when the passion wasn't returned. 

Pulling away breathlessly with one last glance at Kibum's surprised expression, Kevin then ran away from the one reality he didn't want to face.

It was falling apart.

All of it.

-

Take the ending however you like. Take note that Kibum didn’t kiss back partly because he was surprised, lol. But Kevin thought of the worst since he was being a jerk throughout.
Lala, I don’t know, just, whatever. I just wanted to write a fic for this story. Sorry if it doesn’t even make sense, it’s supposed to be a story that stays on my computer but I just wanted to tell you guys how awesome the song is. :P

Love to my 54 subscribers whether or not you're still reading >_< and IceCreamLover for being so awfully nice and leaving me a lovely comment :D
Hope anyone reading liked this fic :D