7am November 1^st

Koki awoke to the sound of a alarm clock going off next to his head some where. He half opened his eyes and patted under the covers before he finally found his cell phone under his pillow. How it got there he didn’t know. His alarm on his phone wasn’t what was causing all the commotion. He had just gotten a text.

Sitting up in the bed he noticed his surroundings. Looking around he  searched his memory for where he was. Then he remembers. His last memory of last night was of him and Kokoro making out, then falling asleep right in the middle of it.  He pushed the covers off him and saw that he stil had his pants on, giving him a clue how far they had went.

Koki, sighed.  I hope that I haven’t blown it.

%$%^%$

The classroom  for Chemistry 545 Organic Chemistry  is filled  to the capacity with the brightest  and most talented young talent of Japan. And Yuki Hanawa felt like a fish out of water. This was her first semester in the graduate program for Environmental Toxicology. Already she was serious wonderinhg how the heck she thought she could pull this off. . Glancing quickly at the clock behind her professor’s head, she noted that it was almost time for class to be dismissed. And Yuki couldn’t be more excited about that. Literally, it felt like the norons in her head couldn’t take much more.

Thank Goodness. My brain feels like mush. Yuki said as she focused her gray brain matter to concentrate in the lecture. Murakashi-sensei ended the class on a upbeat note just before the buzzer sounded announcing that the class hour was up. Sighing a breath of relief Yuki packed away her mini laptop, voice recorder, inkpen and papers away into he messenger bag.

Walking her way down the auditorim steps she made her way to exit the doors when Murakashi-sensi stopped her.

Murakashi-sensei: Hanawa-san?

Yuki: Hai? *walks over to the podium where the professor is collecting her things*

Murakashi-sensei is one of the few female professors that teach in her field. She was tall at 5’10” with long silky hair and warm brown eyes. She is in her late 40s but look to be in her early 30s. Sensei’s personality on a whole was very generous and open. And for that Yuki was very greatful.

Murakashi-sensei: I just wanted to return your paper back to you. You paper was the last one that I read. Do you have a moment to discuss this paper with you.

Yuki: Sure…

Yuki began to immediately feel her panic swell inside of her. Damn…her it goes again. Adjusting the bag  on her shoulders she follows sensei back to her office which was off the main corridor that the class meet three times a week.  Once inside the office Murakashi-sensi motioned for her to take a sit in one of the chairs that sat infront of her desk.

Yuki fidgeted in her seat for a moment until she realized what she was doing. Attempting to calm the nerves that seemed to be in complete control of her body. It wasn’t working.

This can’t be good…Yuki thought to herself. She ran through her unfocused mind she attempted to recall if Murakashi-sensei had pulled anyone else aside to discuss their paper. She couldn’t remember. That immediately led to Yuki’s mind to immediately grab onto the idea that she was the only one with a completely horrible paper.

Murakashi-sensei: Yuki after reading your paper I am both impressed and disappointed. I was thrilled with the ideas that you introduced in the paper…, yet there are some big problems with this paper. Hanawa-san, although I see improvement in this paper compared with the previous two, there is still much in organization and structure and most importantly your Japanese grammar skills.  Most notably your congatation of verbs with its proper associated noun.

Yuki’s face began to flush and her palms began to sweat. Add to that her heart was now beating at top speed. She could feel her head becoming light headed. She just knew she was getting in over her head. 

Murakashi-Sensei: Hanawa-san, I do believe that you have great potential. Yet, if you want to stay in this program you will have to work much much harder. Here is the paper back with my comments and suggestions. I will allow you to rewrite the paper and hand it in Monday morning for a regrade. Please be aware that if you don’t improve that this could be you first and last semester in this graduate program.

Yuki: Hai…Arigato for the chance to correct my mistakes….mmm…I will do better. I promise. Arigato Sensei.

Murakashi-sensei: Just remember don’t be afraid to ask for help. That is what I am here for, ne?

Yuki timidly nodded her head in agreement. Standing and bow in thanks she exits the office. All the instincts in her call for her to run and her thoughts are running a million miles a minute. All of them critizing herself. Yuki didn’t know if this was good are not. Two days to rewrite the paper. Looking at the paper with the big fat F grade glaring back at her she sighed in aggravation and depression.

Walking out into the sunshine the winter sun felt good againist her skin. Deciding to walk to a nearby poark  she navigated the foot traffic. In a matter of minutes she arrived. Walking always helped when she had a panic attack and what she was experiencing in her body qualified as that.  Her heart races, her mind was fuzzy with her legs feeling like spagehetti that would fold beneath her at any moment. The air in her chest felt trapped making her chest feel tight. Yuki hated that her body progressed to this state. She hadn’t always lived in fear of every little thing. She felt so out of control. That she had lost the essence of who she once was.

Her breathing became more labored, another sign her sympamtic system is under stress.  She stopped for a second, adjusting her coat and scarf againist the brisk November wind. The wind was wippinhg her ponytail around and that annoyed her for a moment. Spottinhg a nearby bench she walked over and slouched down. Thankfully, her stress/anxiety level had gone down a bit. ‘Okay…I can do this….what do I do….yeah deep breaths…notice how each breath feels entering into my nose and leaving my mouth…’ Yuki closed her eyes and concentrarted on her breathing techniques, exercise number one that calmed her insides.

Compared to a year ago, even three months before, how quickly she recovered from her anxiety attacks was a marked improvement, despite her deep fear of failure rearing its ugly head so often still. ‘This will pass. Do I really need to freak out about this? I got into Todai, didn’t I? I can do this. Continuing to focus on her  breaths and talking her self down off the mental cliff she calmed down even more. When she was finally completely relaxed she opened her eyes and observed her surroundings.

The park that she had went to was no ordinary park, it was a dog park. There were people with their dogs playing and bonding with each other and their pets. The different sights and sounds made her smile.  Yuki looked at her watch and realized that it had taken her 45 minutes to calm her self. “Thank you God!’ Yuki smiled as she looked up to the sky in thanks. This was her lowest time yet in coming down from an panic attack.  Sitting on the bench she watched the dogs as they friskily play with their owners. It was pretty cute to watch. It became rather hard to control her giggles. Soon it was time for her to go, she had a paper to work on. Standing to her feet she began walking towards the exit of the park.

Suddenly, a tennis ball hit her dead into the side of her arm, hard and following at full speed behind it was a ball of fur.

Male Voice: WATCH OUT!!

But it was too late. The little ball of fur jumped on her knees with a force knocking her off her feet and hard on her back. When she opened her eyes (thankfully her glasses hadn’t flown off her face) she saw the face of a cute dog sitting on her chest with its tongue hanging out its mouth, it little eyes sparkling with glee. It tail thumping happily againist her stomach.

Yuki: *getting her bearings back* hey, little fella…ummm your ball is over there…

Yuichi: Yuki? Is that you?

Looking up, Yuki saw two figures standing ove her. It was Yuichi Nakamura and Koki Tanaka.

Koki picked up Mister, Yuichi dog off Yuki’s chest. It had been Yuichi dog who had decided to mawl her over.

Yuki laughed as the sight she must have look like. Yuichi helped her to her feet.

Yuichi: Are you okay?

Yuichi looked her over aimlessing searching for any signs that she was hurt by. Of course he couldn’t tell as she had on a large coat, sweater and jeans insulating her from the cold. He hoped that it had protected her from her unplanned meeting with hard earth and concrete.

Yuki looked down at her self to make sure and her eyes landed immediately on her’s and Yuichi’s hands. He will still holding her hand. Yuki could feel a blush forming on her face.

Yuki: I…I… Feel fine.

Yuichi looked into her eyes and his heart began to race. Her blue eyes were mesmerizing and her blush I the cutes thing. He smiled gently at the idea he was the cause.

Koki:*clears his thought* Yuki, glad that you are okay. You look nice to today. Doesn’t she Yuiichi? *Koki nudged his bestr friend in his side.*

Yuichi: *finally realizing he still held onto Yuki’s hand he released it and it was his turn to blush* Yes, you look very beautiful today.

Yuki felt exposed by the look in Yuichi’s eyes. He thought she was beautiful. As plain as she felt.  Feeling unsteady she turned to Koki.

Yuki: Before I forget…Happy Birthday Koki.

At the birthday wish Koki smiled. It was a three  days from his birthday but he was already all excited from it. The only thing that would have made it better was if Kokoro was here in Japan.

Koki: Thanks! This year may be the best one yet.

Yuki: Did Lolita give you your present already.

Yuichi: *smirks* Did she? That’s all he has been rambling about since we met up here.

Koki: wouldn’t you, if your girlfriend gave you the best gift ever?

Both Yuki and Yuichi laughed at the animated sight that was Koki Tanaka. The gift that Kokoro, also known as Lolita, had given was totally unique. She had decorated the sitting room of his apartment with cranes. And not just oridinary cranes. These cranes came from all over the world from all of his fan. Thousand upon thousands of them. She had hung them from the ceiling, on the floor on his living room table. She had also taken special color string lights and lined then along the base boards of the floor and the walls outlining the room turning it a colorful box.

That was what Koki had arrived home too that morning after leaving Kokoro’s apartment and arriving at his place. It was the most beautiful sight he had seen. Kokoro had made sure that there was a clear pathway to get to his kitchen and bedroom without crushing the precious paper cranes. There had also been a path to the living room table.  Hung from the ceiling was a card that stoped at eye level. It was a note for him to read the biggest crane in the room, which rested on the table. It was from Kokoro.

Yuichi: Yeah I would. Did you know about it Hanawa-san?

Yuki: *nods her head* Yeah. I made one of them. Actually so did Tricia too. Did you get to read them all, Koki?

Koki: I couldn’t! Their were too many. I may have read about 300 hundred of them this morning…

Yuki: Lolita told me she counted at least 4,000…although I am sure that she didn’t all put them there.

Yuichi: WHAT! That many?

Koki: I TOLD you I was welled loved.

Yuichi: man, how am I going to top that?

Yuki&Koki: You can’t!

Yuichi: Thanks for the comfirmation. Anyway, Yuki were you just getting ready to leave?

Yuki: yeah…I have to go home and write a paper. Two actually. It was great seeing you guys. And again Happy Birthday, Koki.

Before Yuki could bow and leave Koki called out…

Koki: Wait! Let Yuichi take you home. We were about to head out. I was going to take Mister and the kids home for the rest of their playdate.

This was of course a lie since they themselves had just got there but Koki didn’t want to let Yuichi miss this chance to be alone with Yuki before their date tomorrow. I took Yuichi a moment to realize what Koki was trying to do and loving his best friend all the more he played along.

Yuichi: That would be a great idea. I’m not in a rush to get anywhere. Let me take you home.

For a second Yuki was hesitate but conceded to let him take her home. And to be honest she thanked Koki for opening this opportunity for her. As Koki watched them exited the park he patted himself on the back for a job well done although he knew he really hadn’t done much.