Index:

(YJ) - Young Jae speaking
(DH) - Daehyun speaking
(HC) - Himchan speaking
(BY) - Yongguk speaking
(EJ) - Eunji speaking

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If only he had been faster.

Daehyun shook his head as he closed his eyes, his forehead resting in the palm of his hands at he rested both his elbows on the edge of Young Jae’s bed. He should have known better than to keep telling himself that Yongguk wouldn’t do anything drastic. Yes, he had seen the tension between the two, but... he dismissed these signs. Daehyun hadn’t thought too much on it simply because he believed that he knew his supposed ‘best friend’ for years.

So then, what exactly was the result of placing so much trust into Yongguk? Yongguk nearly had his with Young Jae and as far as Daehyun knew, he could have permanently damaged Young Jae’s head. Why had it turned out this way? It just didn’t make any sense to Daehyun, no matter how much he tried to wrap his mind around it. Yongguk had not once shown any sort of interest in men, but.. Daehyun just had to accept the fact that Yongguk has either changed or no longer had any restraints.

Even so, thinking about it now won’t change the fact that it had happened. Daehyun still felt like it was his fault for not having caught it sooner. He could have saved Young Jae from such an experience. After all... he did promise that he would protect him.

Looking up at Young Jae, he felt his heart tear even more as he looked at Young Jae’s current state. Why wasn’t he waking up? Daehyun wanted to see Young Jae full of life, to see that smile that Young Jae almost always seemed to forget he had. Even though he could never forget that smile, he still wanted to see it in front of him. He wanted to be able to smile along with Young Jae. Daehyun didn’t want to rely on a memory.

Getting up from his seat, Daehyun walked to the open area between the bed and the door. He walked back and forth about three or four times before taking his seat once more. Taking a hold of Young Jae’s hand, Daehyun held it up as he tilted his head forward, pressing his forehead against the back of Young Jae’s hand. “Please... wake up, Young Jae. You... you still don’t know if I’ll forgive you.” (DH)

Daehyun shook his head a bit. No. There was no way that Young Jae and Hana were the same person, right..? There were too many differences between the two like... there was that... or maybe... Okay, so the only difference was with how they dressed and the hair. That alone should have been enough to say that these two weren’t the same person.

Daehyun quietly laughed at himself as he sat back in his heat, still holding Young Jae’s hand as he looked back at Young Jae’s face. When had he become a hypocrite? No.. he had been a hypocrite since high school. It was obvious that Young Jae and Hana were the same person and yet.. he was continuously lying to himself, trying to believe that they weren’t. Why was he acting this way?

Well... it was because he liked Young Jae too much to fall for his disguise. After all, he did hate liars.. but.. he could never hate Young Jae.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~~~~~

He was running late yet again! Despite being in middle school for a little more than a year, he still couldn’t get used to switching classrooms. Heading up the steps, he had just started skipping every other step when he came to a stop the second he heard laughter.

Luckily, he was at the lowest step possible to where he could look through the railing to see what was happening. Daehyun just barely had enough time to see the group of boys walking away. He furrowed his eyebrows as he tightened his grip on his books. He hated when people picked on others, but he was always the type to stand off to the side and not do anything. Why? Well.. he didn’t really like stepping into other people’s business. Plus, the ones that usually bullied others were his friends. he didn’t want to disappoint his friends.

As he got to the top of the steps, Daehyun’s eyes landed on the boy that was still sitting on the ground, sniggling. Taking a few steps to the right, his eyes widened as he finally noticed who the boy was.

It was Yoo Young Jae, that boy who actually seemed to like studying over anything. They had gone to the same elementary school and now the same middle school, but they never actually spoke to one another. He never really had the chance to since they never really had the same teacher. Heck, he only knew about him because of the unwanted reputation that Young Jae had built up. Young Jae was always known as that boy who picked reading over playing any sort of game. The other kids thought that he was weird, but besides Young Jae’s best friend, Daehyun didn’t either.

In fact, Daehyun really admired that quality about Young Jae. Daehyun may have had a good voice, supposedly good looks, and he was decent in sports, but... he always struggled when it came to the academic portion of school. In a way, he wanted to be more like Young Jae, but.. he knew that he couldn’t. That’s why he admired Young Jae a lot.

Looking at him now, in such a state, Daehyun wanted to help Young Jae in some way. He no longer wanted to stay off to the side, letting these problems happen to Young Jae. However, there was one problem: How was he going to go about with his plan?

Well first, Daehyun decided to help Young Jae pick up his things.

Fixing his hair a bit and checking to make sure his clothes looked okay, Daehyun took in a deep breath as he made his way over to Young Jae. The second he saw a tear slide down Young Jae’s cheek, it just seemed to somehow make his own chest heavy with sorrow. Why was this? He had seen so many other kids and even adults cry and although those times did make him sad or even cry as well, Young Jae seemed to have a different effect on him.

Bending over a bit, Daehyun closed his hand, leaving just his index finger slightly stretched out. Using the back of his index finger, he wiped the tear away. The second he had done so, the two of them made eye contact almost in an instant. Daehyun could feel his heart beating faster and his ears were starting to burn, but he ignored it for the moment. “Don’t cry. I think you look better with a smile on your face.” (DH)

Kneeling down on one knee, Daehyun placed his books on the floor before he began picking up Young Jae’s books. He did find it a bit weird that Young Jae was letting him pick up the rest of the books, but he didn’t mind. Once he was done picking up the books, he looked up at Young Jae before holding out his books to him. “Here you go.” (DH)

He watched as Young Jae finally stopped staring at him before taking the books back. Once he saw Young Jae hug his books, Daehyun couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle. He also unintentionally ruffled Young Jae’s hair, but could he help it? For some reason, Young Jae was just so... adorable, like a puppy! “Take care, alright? Try to smile more. It really suits you.” (DH)

Once he was on his feet, Daehyun stretched out his hand. After receiving yet another stare, Daehyun felt Young Jae’s hand in his. Pulling the younger male onto his feet, he picked up his own books before smiling at Young Jae and walking away.

Daehyun had just barely walked around the corner when he placed his hand to his chest. What was this feeling? Why was it that Young Jae was making him feel this way? His heart was beating so fast, his face was finally starting to heat up, and his ears were burning. Daehyun’s thoughts were constantly thinking about the moment they made eye contact and how Young Jae’s hand felt so soft. He didn’t really understand why he was thinking all of this or why he was feeling this way, but.. he kind of liked this feeling.

That day, Daehyun went around in between classes and even after school, telling his friends to spread the word that no one was allowed to bully Young Jae anymore. If they did, then they would not only have to deal with him, but also Yongguk. To his great satisfaction, it seemed like everyone actually listened to him. Thanks to that, he had been able to see Young Jae’s smile everyday.

However, these feelings he had for Young Jae continued to confuse him. Every time he saw Young Jae in the hallway, his heart raced and he couldn’t help but smile brightly. Every time he was away from him, he always looked forward to the next moment that they saw one another yet again. Young Jae was always on his mind and Daehyun just didn’t understand.. until he reached the last few months of eight grade.

It took a while, but Daehyun finally figured out that he had a crush on Young Jae. How? Well.. let’s just say that he was doing something.. naughty one day and he was thinking of Young Jae during that time. Either way, this confused Daehyun. Was it.. normal for a boy to like another boy? Even if he did like Young Jae, would Young Jae like him back? Did it work that way? Only more questions continued to pop up in Daehyun’s head so, the only person that he could turn to for answers was his best friend, Yongguk.

“No! It’s NOT normal!” (BY) Daehyun had told Yongguk about it and after asking Yongguk for advice, it seemed like Yongguk was definitely against him pursuing Young Jae. This did sadden Daehyun a bit and at that point in time, he believed Yongguk one-hundred percent that it wasn’t normal for two boys to like each other.

“Then.. what should I do?” (DH)

“Date as many girls as possible! You’ll find the one you like the most and you won’t be a reject!” (BY) A reject? Was it really that bad for a boy to like another boy..? Well.. Yongguk did have more knowledge on this sort of thing, so maybe he should listen to him. “And hey, if you don’t like the girls, just break up with ‘em and go for another!” (BY)

Daehyun scratched his head as he tried to think. He didn’t necessarily like using people and then dropping them if he didn’t like them, but.. if Yongguk said so, then it probably had to be a good idea. Still.. he felt guilty already by just thinking about it. However, if he was going to protect Young Jae, then he had to make sure that he didn’t become a reject like Yongguk said.

Throughout high school, Daehyun did as Yongguk said for the first year. He tried hard to like the girls he dated, he really did. However, the sense of betrayal that he always at the beginning of the week would grow stronger towards the end of the week and thus, he would always end up breaking up with that girl.

Time ticked by and he just dated these girls like clockwork now. He never got past hugs, holding hands, or even holding them in his arms. Daehyun only ever yearned for Young Jae and that feeling grew stronger with each time Young Jae actually spoke top him. In a way, his dislike for liars started all because of himself. He was lying to basically everyone, including himself and he just couldn’t forgive himself for that. The only person he could ever really like is Young Jae.

Once university came around the corner, Daehyun had hoped to stop dating just to cover up his feelings. He regretted his actions in high school, but he definitely regretted not telling Young Jae his feelings. He felt as if he could possibly start over and maybe follow his feelings for once.

It really felt like he had been given a second chance.

Daehyun had been sitting at the cafe on campus, just watching random videos when he had briefly looked up. Now, what exactly did he see that caught his attention? Well.. he saw Young Jae talking with Yongguk. His heart began racing once more and his smile wanted to stay on his face, but a thought crossed his mind. Why was Yongguk talking with Young Jae? Was it possible that... they liked each other?

With worry taking over, Daehyun had packed his things up and walked off. He had to think of something, just some way that he could not only find out the truth, but to also finally get his feelings known by Young Jae. Even if he was rejected, Daehyun didn’t mind but he also felt like he couldn’t just blurt out his feelings. Daehyun wanted to do it in a special way, but he really didn’t know how.

As time ticked by, Daehyun had been given the chance to finally be able to spend time with Young Jae. Any time he was with Young Jae, he felt happy.. almost complete. It really was the happiest moments in his life, even if they did only last a few minutes each time.

One day, Daehyun had planned to meet Yongguk at the mall when he saw that very person bothering a woman. Or at least, it looked like a woman from afar. Once she had walked away from Yongguk, Daehyun had to catch up to her just to see if she was alright. To his surprise, the second he saw ‘her’ face, Daehyun already knew.

This was definitely not a woman.

It was Young Jae. Daehyun knew Young Jae’s face far too well not to recognize him in an instant, but.. he did wonder why he was dressed like a girl. It was clearly not for Yongguk’s sake, so.. who was it for? Did he just like to cross dress? Daehyun didn’t know nor did he question it. He just.. went along with it.

Somehow, they ended up going on a date. Okay, so it was just them ‘hanging out’, but Daehyun counted it as a date. After all, they did end up having an indirect kiss with one another. Still, after that day, he could tell that Young Jae had started cross dressing for him. Sure, it sounded like Daehyun was full of himself for coming to this conclusion, but with how fast Young Jae accepted his offer for a date, it just seemed like the only thing he could come up with.

Now to the day of, Daehyun had turned around to ask what everyone else was getting, when he finally noticed that neither Young Jae or Yongguk was behind him. Fear and worry struck his heart as he soon ran out of the cafeteria, looking frantically for Young Jae specifically. Where had they gone? Why were they gone?

Turning the corner, Daehyun roughly crashed into someone, causing the other person to fall over. Apologizing and helping her up, Daehyun had finally taken the time to look at whom he had bumped into when he felt her hand take a hold of his arm. “Daehyun!” (EJ)

“Eunji..?” (DH)

“Daehyun, please give me another chance! I.. I can change! I can be better!” (EJ) Daehyun let out a small sigh as he rubbed the back of his head. He didn’t want to let Eunji down, but.. he just didn’t have feelings for her.

“I’m sorry... But... Can you help me? Have you seen Young Jae or Yongguk?” (DH) Eunji pouted as she crossed her arms. However, she thought for a moment before looking up at Daehyun. She could at least help him out, right?

“They were headed towards the dorms.. I think.” (EJ) Daehyun felt his chest beating fast yet again as he wrapped his arms around Eunji and gave her a quick, tight hug.

“Thank you! You don’t know how important this is.” (DH) Letting go of her, Daehyun quickly began running. He ran as fast as he could, pushing himself to his limits as he burst through door after door.

Pulling out his key, as he expected Yongguk to have locked the door, Daehyun unlocked the door to their dorm room. Swinging the door wide open, he had just barely taken a step in when his eyes widened the second he saw what was happening. “YOUNG JAE!” (DH)

Yongguk stood up, showing the blood practically all over the lower half of his face. The blood boiled within him as Daehyun balled his hands into fists. Before he could even let Yongguk have a small chance to explain himself, Daehyun had ran forward and punched Yongguk.

As Yongguk fell to the floor, Daehyun made his way over to Young Jae. No matter how much he called out to Young Jae, no matter how much he tried to shake the younger male awake, it seemed like Young Jae was completely unconscious. Due to his panicked state, Daehyun picked Young Jae up bridal style and began running.

It took him about half an hour to an hour later, Daehyun had managed to bring Young Jae to the hospital. After various scans and such, he had to wait for the results to come in. Until then... all he could do was watch helplessly.

~~~~~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Daehyun sighed as he looked back up at Young Jae. How many times has he looked at his sleeping face? How many times has he felt his chest hurt whenever he thought of the pain and struggle Young Jae had to go through? If only he hadn’t fallen for Yongguk’s lie..

Closing his eyes, he pressed Young Jae’s hand against his forehead once more. He begged, even prayed for Young Jae to wake up and yet.. no answer. Just as hope seemed to be completely lost, Daehyun sat up the second he felt Young Jae’s fingers twitch. He looked over at Young Jae, eyes full of hope as he gave Young Jae’s hand a light squeeze. “Young Jae? Young Jae, are you awake?” (DH)

No answer. Not even another twitch of some sort that indicated that Young Jae was close to conscious. With a small sigh, Daehyun had just sat back in his seat when the door opened. Turning, he looked to see Himchan and Sooyoung now standing at the doorway.

Both stared in shock and worry as realization hit them. As Sooyoung slowly made her way over to the bed, Himchan balled his hands into fists as he soon ran out the room. Just as Daehyun was about to get up to try and calm Himchan down, but Sooyoung seemed to intervene as she began talking.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Closing his eyes tightly, Himchan squeezed the bars of the railing tightly. What the heck happened for Young Jae to be like that?! He had hoped that it was just some sort of sick trick that Daehyun was pulling on him, but no. He had seen it right in front of his eyes and it most definitely was not some sort of trick or prank. “Dammit!” (HC)

Himchan hit the rail before pulling away. Just as he turned around, his eyes landed on the very perpetrator that had caused Young Jae’s current state. His blood boiled as he walked up angrily to the male, taking a firm hold of Yongguk’s collar as he pulled him in. “You damn bastard!” (HC)

Himchan raised his fist back to give Yongguk a good punch, but... he only pushed him away. Himchan crossed his arms as he turned away. “You’re not even worth my time.. But what the hell is your problem anyway?!” (HC)

“Boredom.” (BY) That was what cause Himchan to lose complete control. Turning around, he swung his fist upwards and punched Yongguk square in his stomach. The male had hunched over a bit, but he wasn’t as affected as Himchan had hoped for. With a quick knee to Yongguk’s jaw, which sent him falling backwards, Himchan crossed his arms once more as he kicked Yongguk’s leg.

“Boredom?! Is that all you did it for?! What the hell?! Are you mental?!” (HC) Yongguk pushed himself back up into a sitting position as he rubbed his jaw a back. Looking up at Himchan, Yongguk scoffed a bit as he sat back.

“No... Do you really want to know the reason?” (BY) Himchan looked off to the side as he tapped his foot impatiently. He highly doubted that he would get the truth out of Yongguk, but whatever. It was better than nothing and at least it would give him a good laugh since he knew Yongguk would be lying anyway.

“Fine. Go ahead.” (HC) Yongguk smirked as he placed his other hand down so that he had both his hands supporting him. Yongguk looked down towards the ground, his smirk never leaving.

“You know.. I think Daehyun has affected me.” (BY)

“Tch.. doubt that..” (HC)

“Do you want to listen or not?” (BY) Himchan grumbled a bit but he kept quiet. Sitting down, Himchan sat with his legs crossed as he looked away once more. “Anyway..Ever since Daehyun told me that he liked Young Jae, I’ve been telling him to date girls. At first, I thought.. hey, if the rest of the school finds out he’s gay then they would think I’m gay too, right? Couldn’t have that after all. So.. he’s been dating all of these girls and to my luck, I got to bang them after-wards. Man.. they were pretty hot too. Sure, I could get any girl I wanted too, but it got rather boring after a while.” (BY)

Himchan rolled his eyes as he shook his head in disapproval. Well, at least he knew the reason behind Daehyun dating all- WAIT! Daehyun has a crush on Young Jae?! When did that happen?! That means all of this cross dressing crap was for nothing! Himchan wanted to slap his forehead, but he decided against it. He didn’t exactly want to appear like a fool in front of the person he currently hated.

“It was the same thing every day or every week. Bang a pretty girl and move on. I didn’t care for any of them, I just thought.. damn. She’s hot. You know, I prefer banging s. They’re nice and tight, so they feel sooo mu-” (BY)

“CAN YOU GET ON WITH YOUR DAMN STORY?!” (HC) Himchan did NOT want to hear about how Yongguk would have his way with all of these girls, especially s. These girls should not have had to lose their ity to a guy like this. Like, really?! This guy was a complete bastard and he just simply felt sorry for these girls. Most likely, they were forced into it as well.

“Yea yea yea, don’t get your damn in a bunch. Anyway.. Because I was around Daehyun so much, I saw that Young Jae walk past us every day. At first, I didn’t really care for him. You know, a nerd and everything. Not much of a turn on. But damn.. he was starting to look pretty hot after a while, especially when he smiled. But you know.. I always knew that smile was for Daehyun. So.. I guess I got a little jealous.” (BY)

“A little..?” (HC) Yongguk chuckled a bit as he rubbed the back of his head.

“Okay, I was jealous. But yanno, I never even thought about banging a guy before. All other guys didn’t interest me at all, but him.. because all he ever saw was Daehyun.. it made me want him.” (BY) Yongguk chuckled a bit as he looked over at Himchan. He could instantly see the look of disgust on Himchan’s face, which he only shook his head a bit. “I never wanted Daehyun, not even a little, but I’ve always wanted what he wanted or what he had. That’s why, I tried to make Young Jae mine. I guess it was sort of a rivalry thing. Sure, not the best way to take Young Jae away, but I did warn him. Did he listen? Of course not. Of course, that Hana.. have you met her? Damn... she feels so different from every other girl I’ve touched. Definitely had a nice on her. Definitely wanna win her over if Young Jae sticks with Daehyun.” (BY)

Himchan didn’t know whether to be mad, annoyed, or if he should laugh at the fact that Yongguk really had fallen for Young Jae’s disguise. Still, he couldn’t forgive Yongguk for his actions. He was an idiot and from what he could see, Yongguk was the controlling type. However... would it be possible to change Yongguk? He doubted it and he really didn’t want to have anything to do with the male, but it would be better to change him now then to leave him the way he was. Who knows how many more times he could try to have his way with another innocent bystander. Unless...

“Was this your first time trying to someone?” (HC) Yongguk looked up at Himchan. He stared blankly for a bit before nodding. Good! That meant that he really could change him. “Fine.. I’ll help you change.” (HC)

“What? The hell you talking about? Change what?” (BY) Himchan got to his feet as he dusted his pants off. Looking back down at a still confused Yongguk, which brought much amusement to Himchan, he grinned.

“Change your lecherous ways, idiot! You think Young Jae would fall for someone like you?! Tch... I doubt that. Get up. You’re going to go apologize to Young Jae this instant, you hear me?! Do I have to punch you to get some sense into you?!” (HC) Yongguk stared for a moment before he began laughing. Himchan rolled his eyes as he crossed his arms, waiting for Yongguk to finish having his laughing episode. “You done?” (HC)

Yongguk laughed for a minute or so before it slowly began to die down. Getting to his feet, he smirked as he took a few steps closer to Himchan. He leaned in, putting his hand on Himchan’s waist while still holding that smirk. “You got a thing for me? I could pleasure you well if that’s the case.” (BY)

“ing idiot..” (HC) Himchan hit Yonguk’s hand away as he took a hold of his collar and began pulling him back into the hospital. Why was it, exactly, that he was actually helping this guy out?! He was just too nice for his own good and he was rather certain it would bite back at him sooner or later.

Still... at least he now knew that Daehyun likes Young Jae.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[[ My Own Thoughts: 

Dun dun duuuuunnn~
The truth has finally come out >3<..
Sort of...
Close enough, right? ;;
But hey.. at least we now know both Daehyun’s and Yongguk’s feelings. >3<..

I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter up >.<..
I have been busy all week ._.
And the only time I actually could get working on this chapter was during class or before class ._.

Comments are loved!
I love talking with everyone >3<
I also like to see how well I am doing with these chapters >3<... ]]