A very mentally and physically tired Taeyeon laid awake while Jessica who was out like a light embraced her. She couldn’t sleep due to the event of her mother appearing before her again. She raised her free arm to rest on her head a wondering why her mother came back after leaving her 21 years ago. She couldn’t help but let out a harsh breath waking Jessica up.

 

“Are you still awake?” she looked at Taeyeon eyes half open.

 

Taeyeon kissed her forehead and apologized. “Sorry for waking you up. Just a lot on my mind right now…”

 

Jessica sat up and looked at her girlfriend. “Your mom?”

 

She just let out a sigh and covered her face with the comforter keeping her and Jessica warm. “Yeah…”

 

She bit her lip trying to not seem like she’s prying into Taeyeon’s rough past wanting to know about what really happened. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

Taeyeon contemplated in her head whether she was ready to talk about this with someone. She never told her dad about these feelings about her mom and just her feelings in general. She never was that kind of person to begin with, but this is a different person a person that she cares for dearly.

 

She removed the comforter from her face and sat up. She was ready to let Jessica know about this certain subject that has been kept buried for so long. “It’s been hard keeping this in since I was five because I was the only kid in my class without a mom. I was always so jealous of the other kids because they were happy seeing their mom or both parents pick them up from school.” She rested herself with her back on the bed’s headboard. “Don’t get me wrong, I was still happy seeing my dad or Seohyun’s mom or dad pick me up, but you know, I always wanted a family that was whole...” Taeyeon paused, letting this entire rant out is starting to get her emotional. Something she was only occasionally greeted with once in a blue moon.

 

Jessica watched her girlfriend’s face carefully. She could see that Taeyeon was having difficulty saying what she is now. She just stayed silent knowing that all she needs to be all ears.

 

She cleared and continued. “Even though my dad told me he didn’t think she was ever going to come back soon, part of me always hoped she would.” She let out a chuckle. “Now that I look back on it, I realized that as a kid, my hopes were too high.” she ran her fingers through her hair. “My uncle and even Seohyun’s mom sugar coated the truth from me even though I kind of knew. ‘Oh, she’ll come back soon.’ ‘I’m sure she’s just working hard.’ It wasn’t until I asked my dad why did she leave me because a boy and a few other kids started to pick on me one day after finding out I didn’t have a mom. He finally told me the hard cold truth and it finally hit me at age five that I knew she wasn’t going to come back. I just learned to live with the fact that she wasn’t coming back at all. And all those emotions I felt about my mom I just learned to forget or ignore them, I mean that’s what she was doing to me when she left you know?”

 

It pained Jessica’s heart hearing all of this. She couldn’t even begin to grasp what Taeyeon went through at all and at that very young age. She was too young to hear a painful reality that her mother wasn’t coming back. “Ignoring them doesn’t really help does it?”

 

Taeyeon chuckled at Jessica. “Actually I didn’t think about it. Why should I care for a person who left without a reason?” she blew air moving her parts of her bangs from her face. “Why waste that time moping or wondering why when you can be doing something else that’s productive.”

 

“Well you’re just occupying your mind with other things and avoiding what should be fixable.”

 

“I can’t argue with that, but what else? I couldn’t talk to her back then. We couldn’t resolve the issue of why she left.”

 

Jessica bit her lip because she wants to say something, but she doesn’t want Taeyeon to think she’s not on her side. “But you have that chance now…”

 

Taeyeon stayed silent. Of course what Jessica said was true, but after all this time? Why did she come back? What does she need or want? All these thoughts running through her mind, but with Taeyeon, trust is everything. Once it is broken it is hard for her to mend those bonds of trust again because why should she trust them after they broke it. “I don’t trust her…her just coming out of the blue like this. Wanting to fix something that was fine before she came back.”

 

Jessica just sighed. “She’s your mom Taeyeon and you can do whatever you feel is right in this situation, but can I ask you something?”

 

Taeyeon just nodded her head to Jessica’s question.

 

“How many people in a situation like yours get a chance to talk to their parent again? Some people would do anything for something like this to happen.”

 

“I wasn’t raised an orphan, I wasn’t placed into adoption, I had both parents and one of them abandon me and my father, her family.” She got up from the bed because she was starting to get worked up. “There is no redemption after 21 years and trying to get in touch with me because she feels like it. It doesn’t and shouldn’t work that way.”

 

“It’s a start Taeyeon. No matter how you look at it she’s trying. Yeah, maybe she is trying to fix it and she came about it the wrong way, but she still is trying.”

 

Taeyeon just scoffed. “Are you defending her after what she called you?”

 

“I’m just a bystander that happened to stumble across this while I was half asleep, but because I am the third party I can see all sides of the issue and I’m just letting you know your mom’s side and that doesn’t mean I’m ignoring your view or your father’s.”

 

Taeyeon just huffed air out of her nose and turned to her closet.

 

“What are you doing?” Jessica sat on the bed confused to what Taeyeon is doing.

 

“I need to get out.”

 

“I’ll come with you then.”

 

Jessica was about to get up when Taeyeon turned and looked at her. “I want to be by myself right now.”

 

“Oh…” she hunched her back and looked at Taeyeon concerned. “Did I say too much?”

 

“No…” Taeyeon said while she dressed herself. The room was silent and the only noise that was making sound was Taeyeon putting on clothes. She finished and walked to her door before stopping. “I’ll let you know when I’m coming back.” And she just left letting Jessica hear her footsteps all the way to the front door.

 

Jessica just laid down and stared at the ceiling. “Did I really say too much? I probably did…” she turned over and screamed into the pillow. She raised her head for air and said. “You and your big mouth Jessica.”

 

----

 

Taeyeon drove around her rural area and there weren’t many places opened at midnight. Her eyes came across a bright neon sign with the word “BAR” on it. She shrugged her shoulders and pulled into the bar’s parking lot. “Might as well.”

 

She got out of her car and went in to the bar seeing only a few people sitting at the bar or playing pool. I forgot I’m back in this somewhat small town. She sighed and sat at the bar resting her arms on the table.

 

“What will you be having tonight?” the bartender took the towel from his left shoulder and started to wipe the area in front of Taeyeon not yet looking at her.

 

“A beer and a shot of whiskey.” She looked in her wallet for money to give to him. “How much will $25 get me for tonight.”

 

He was finished cleaning the spot and rested the towel back on his shoulder and talked to her face to face. “That will get yo-Taeyeon?”

 

Taeyeon looked up startled that this man knew her name. “Yes?”

 

The bartender smiled and poured her a beer and a shot and put them in front of her. “You don’t recognize me?”

 

Taeyeon was still dumbstruck thinking if she met him before. “Uh…? I’m sorry.” She gave him an apologetic smile.

 

“Ah, then I’m going to have to charge you double if you can’t remember me.” He started laughing while joking with her.

 

It finally clicked when he laughed. She could recognize it right that instant. “Heechul?”

 

He shook his head. “Took you long enough and here I thought we were best friends before you moved to Seoul. I guess the big city changes everyone.” He joked some more with her.

 

“Sorry…” she put on some pouty lips and her face then got serious. “Been kind of a rough night for me. A very rough night actually…” she took the shot of whiskey and chased it down with her beer.

 

Heechul rested his hands on the bar. “What happened?”

 

Taeyeon looked around the bar seeing at least 8 people. “Are you sure it won’t affect your work talking with me?”

 

Heechul looked around too and scoffed. “It’s actually dead tonight. I got time.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes” he moved his hair out of his face. “Tell me, what happened?”

 

She played with the rim of her glass. “Well my uncle passed away and we had his funeral today and on top of that, one of my ex’s decided to crash the service after and started some drama.” She shook her head.

 

“My, my, my, what a day.”

 

“And that’s not the worst part…my mom came back…”

 

He raised himself off of the bar and crossed his arms knowing that this is a very serious matter. Taeyeon never told him the whole story when they were friends, but he knew the situation with her mother. “She is?”

 

“Yep” she took another swig of the beer. “She’s back and called my girlfriend a .”

 

Heechul was interested with the matters with her mother, but hearing that Taeyeon has a girlfriend was like an alarm ringing in his ears. “Hold up, you have a girlfriend?”

 

She never mentioned to him that she liked girls when they were friends because she wasn’t comfortable with herself yet. “Oh yeah, I like girls.” She giggled making the serious talk take a break for a moment.

 

“Since when?”

 

“Since always.” She laughed again seeing his priceless face.

 

It took a couple of seconds to get that through his head and to get back to the real talk. “Okay, now continue.”

 

“Well yeah, she just came and sat down thinking I would just love her still when I instantly saw her. She thought everything would be fine like it never happened.” She sighed. “And I think I hurt my girlfriend a little bit too…”

 

“Sheesh!” he yelled and poured her another shot. “You really need to drink.”

 

Taeyeon looked at the shot that sat in front of her. “I don’t know. I drove here buddy.”

 

“I’ll take you back.”

 

“You still know where I live?”

 

He chuckled. “I practically lived there with you and Sunny. Of course I remember.”

 

“Okay” she took the second shot and you could see the grimace expression on her face.

 

Heechul laughed at her and took the glass and poured another. “So continue. How did you hurt your girlfriend?”

 

She took that shot he just poured and swallowed it down weirdly tasting like nothing. I must be getting buzzed… she put the shot glass on the bar and continued. “I know she was just trying to help, but she doesn’t know the whole situation. It felt like she was defending my mom even though she doesn’t know what’s going on.” She sighed taking another swig making her beer almost touch the bottom of the glass.

 

“Well what did she say?”

 

“She said at least my mom is trying to get back into my life and that most people don’t get this chance in their lifetime and have the opportunity to fix it.”

 

Heechul tapped his fingers on the bar pondering how he should say it. “Well Taeyeon, you are stupid.” He flicked her forehead with his index finger.

 

“What why?” she rubbed the spot where he hit.

 

“Because your girlfriend is right. Not many people get this chance. Both of you or actually you, your dad, and your mom can finally lay out all the cards to this situation and resolve it.”

 

“She doesn’t deserve it Heechul. Not after what she did.” She drank the last of her beer.

 

“Hmph.” He clicked his tongue. “Taeyeon, that’s something a child would say and you are acting like one too. You have this chance to fix an unresolved issue of what, 20 years and your pouting like a little kid who didn’t get their dessert when they finished their meal.”

 

She hung her head looking at her feet on the stool.

 

“If you want this issue to go away either run away from it like a scared little kid or be a ing adult and deal with it. It’s that simple Taeyeon.” He went and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and filled up another shot for her. “I’m sorry I had to say it harshly, but you know me, I just tell it like I see it.”

 

She shook her head. “No,” she swallowed that shot. “You’re right…” she slammed the shot glass on the bar feeling that burn still going down. “I think I needed your harsh words.” Her body was starting to feel really relaxed and warm. “But now I know I was an to Jessica.”

 

“Jessica?”

 

“My girlfriend.”

 

“Oh…” he pondered his thoughts. “Did you fight before you left?”

 

“No, I just kind of left not wanting to hear her talk about my mom.”

 

Under his breath he let out the word “…” and poured her another shot.

 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know.” She sighed. “I’ll just make it up to her tomorrow.”

 

----

 

“Taeyeon?” he pulled into Taeyeon’s father’s house. “We’re here.”

 

“Remember that time your pants got stuck on the window when we were sneaking out?” she drunkenly chuckled remembering the things that her, Heechul, and Sunny did when she lived here.

 

“I blocked that memory” he rolled his eyes at her.

 

She started laughing hard. “I remember you just waving your hands around and panicking because you loved those pants.”

 

“Yeah and you and that midget Sunny wouldn’t stop laughing at me to help.” He got out of Taeyeon’s car and she did the same.

 

Taeyeon was too drunk and laughing too hard that she couldn’t walk as she normally does. Heechul saw that and went to her side and helped her into the house.

 

Jessica heard the door unlock since she didn’t go back to sleep when Taeyeon left. “She’s back.” She got up from the bed and went to the door.

 

Taeyeon was still chuckling coming through the door with her arm wrapped around Heechul. “Taeyeon be quiet or you’ll wake everyone up.”

 

She put her index finger to her lips “okay, shhhhh…” but that just made her laugh even more.

 

Jessica didn’t know who Taeyeon brought back so she went up to them kind of mad because she thought this guy was trying to take advantage of her.

 

“Your room still where it is?”

 

“Yeah.” She looked in front of her and saw a furious Jessica. “Heechul, we should go.”

 

“What?” he saw a gorJess woman with milky skin, killer legs, and a beautiful face with an angry look. He applauded Taeyeon for nagging this fine woman here.

 

“She’s mad. Let’s go before she releases hell.” Taeyeon took her arm from Heechul’s shoulders and tried to go back outside, but that plan failed as she was still to drunk to walk on her own. She groaned on the floor and held her head as it was pounding from the impact on the wall during her fall.

 

Both Heechul and Jessica ran to her side and Jessica glared at Heechul like a lioness and her kill but paid more attention to her girlfriend. “Taeyeon, baby, you okay?”

 

She still groaned and rocked back and forth hoping it would make the pain subside a little. “Getting drunk is supposed to make pain feel numb. Why isn’t it working now? Heechul, get me another.”

 

“Bar closed, you saw me close it.” He laughed. “I’ll go get you some water.” He got up and left the two together.

 

Jessica slowly sat Taeyeon up and removed her hand from her head making her see this knot grow bigger and bigger on Taeyeon’s head. “You okay?”

 

“I’m drunk so it kind of helps.” She giggled still rubbing the spot.

 

“What were you doing getting drunk when you were driving?”

 

Taeyeon shook her head. “He said he would give me a ride back.”

 

Jessica looked in the direction of the kitchen and back at her girlfriend. “Who is that by the way?”

 

She put on a smug smile. “That’s Heechul. He was me and Sunny’s friend when I was still living here and he works as a bartender at the bar I went to.”

 

“Oh…”

 

He came back near the front door and handed Jessica the glass of water. “Can you hold this while I take her to her room unless you want to do it?”

 

Jessica took the glass and watch Heechul pick up Taeyeon and carried her to her room. They walked side by side and she thought she should be a little nicer to him than she was a moment ago. “I’m Jessica by the way. Taeyeon’s girlfriend.”

 

“Oh yeah!” Taeyeon almost shouted before remembering she’s in her house that she doesn’t live in anymore. She whispered. “Heechul, this is Jessica. My beautiful girlfriend.”

 

“Nice to meet you on a special occasion that Taeyeon is drunk.” He chuckled and finally got into Taeyeon’s room placing her sitting up on the bed. “Well I better go.”

 

“No…” Taeyeon drunkenly pouted. “Stay.”

 

“No, I have to go, but I put my number in your phone so call me tomorrow okay?”

 

Taeyeon said “fine!” letting him hear her annoyance.

 

He chuckled and patted her head. “Night.” He turned and was facing Jessica. “She had quite a bit to drink so look after her for a bit.”

 

“Okay, I will.”

 

He smiled at her. “Well it was nice meeting you Jessica. Hopefully we can have a proper meeting when she’s sober.” He waved and headed out Taeyeon’s room.

 

Jessica stood there and quickly caught up to him. “Thank you for bringing her back. Do you need a ride back home?”

 

He shook his head no. “I called a cab.”

 

“Are you sure? I wouldn’t mind.”

 

He chuckled again. “It’s fine, besides you need to keep watch on Taeyeon right now.”

 

“Okay, well make it home safely.” She walked him out the door and when he left she went back in Taeyeon’s old room seeing her girlfriend staring into space. She saw the glass of water on her bedside table. “Taengoo, drink some water.”

 

She stopped zoning out and took a few sips before cupping it in her hands. “I’m sorry for earlier…”

 

“Why are you sorry?” she sat down next to her on the bed.

 

“I just left and I know you were just trying to help.”

 

Jessica stared into Taeyeon’s bedroom wall. “I said too much when I don’t really know how you feel. I should be apologizing to you.”

 

She shook her head. “No, you were right, very right actually.” She sighed, as the room was leveled again making her know she was getting somewhat sober. “Heechul even said you were right and I was very stupid.”

 

“You’re not stupid. He’s stupid.”

 

Taeyeon chuckled at her Sica sounding like a kid in the playground. “At times he is, but this isn’t one of those times. He said it harshly, but he basically said I’m just running away from this issue and he is right. I was running away from it from ignoring and forgetting about it.” She sighed at herself seeing her own stubbornness. “But like he said ‘be a ing adult and deal with it’ and I should.” She paused for a moment. “I want to talk to her one on one. Finally get this this squashed.”

 

Jessica widened her eyes. “Are you sure? I mean don’t get me wrong I love the fact that you want to talk to her and resolve it, but this is all kind of drunk talk right now.”

 

“Yes I’m very drunk right now, but Heechul talked to me before I got drunk so I mean it.” Taeyeon had this intent glare in her eyes set on her purpose.

 

Jessica smiled looking at her drunk yet determined girlfriend and kissed her lips, which tasted like alcohol. “Ugh. Did you drink whiskey?” She tried to wipe that taste off of her lips.

 

The internal kid of the two smiled mischievously. “Want some more?” She let butterfly kisses roam all over Jessica’s face with her giggling and trying to get Taeyeon off of her.

 

All was set right again and a new trail of hurdles were set up for Taeyeon to finally overcome with her determination.

 

 

 

 

 

hello everyone! long time no see i mean update! sorry i have been MIA for awhile. kind of had writer's block on this fic, but i had ideas poppin' for a couple of hours and this is the result. i hope you enjoy it and are actually still reading it because i haven't updated in like 3? 4? months now? haha. well it will be awhile before i update this as i'm taking summer classes to try and get my degree next spring. 

again, i hope you enjoy the update and as always thank you to new subscribers, new silent readers, for upvotes, and leaving comments. have a bangin' week people and stay safe on those streets.