Chapter 19

Taeyeon’s PoV

No one’s home… and that’s good! I saw a sticky note by the fridge:

Unnie, if ever you come home early, we left a cake inside the fridge, if you’re hungry just eat those… but I think Hyo some of the icing already so be ware!

-SicaChu ß-- on a date with Chullie~ kekeke!-

That made me smile… again, my girls made me smile. They are all so lucky with their love lifes… I took a deep breath before walking to my room to find a towel and change. It was only 7:00 pm. Indeed I was early… I checked my phone and saw no signs of any text messages… oh who am I kidding! As if Teukie would text me! I sighed.

After finishing my half bath… I changed for my Pjs already and lay flat on my bed. I feel so weak. Weak that I could not even walk… talk… eat… or stand. I want to sleep but I can’t because it’s still early. I tunned in to my favorite radio station, aside from Chin Chin, Sukira. Hoping that Leeteuk wll be there, which is completely impossible for he’s with Joo right now.

I hugged illkong, my green peas pillow and postioned myself to my normal sleeping postion while starring at the radio located at my side table. I was waitng for their voice… Hyuk’s and Teuk’s….

Narrator’s PoV

“That was SHINee’s Lucifer everyone!” Yesung cheered after the Lucifer song was done. I sighed, so Leeteuk wasn’t there really… aigooo…

I kust kept myself from listening… “You guys might ask why Leeteuk Hyung is not here…” Yesung started.

“Neh” Hyuk agreed.

“Aish! Hyung was really insane a while ago! He just informed me that I’ll be his proxy for this episode when he was by the door already!” Yesung informed the audience.

“Yeah!” Hyuk agreed again. “Well, what can we do? He’s with someone special to him today! It was his first time t fix his hair that grand huh!” hyuk added for he thought that Leeteuk was with Taeyeon. That’s what everyone in the SUJU dorm thought that’s why they publicized it. It was for Taeyeon, so she would be flattered. But then, unknown to them… Taengwas already crying because she thought that the person their talking about was Joo…

So it’s really Joo huh!Taeyeon thought as she hid her face on her favorite pillow that was given to her by her mom. She can’t help but to cry once again. Chukahae Joo sunbae… you’re so lucky to have Leeteuk by your side. She thought as she cried and cried. Just let it rain~ Let it Rain~ Let it Rain… she hummed while catching her breath after crying so hard. And after few minutes of crying… her body and here eyes were tired already that she was able to fall asleep.

Next day:

SM building:

Narrator’s PoV

“What?!” SNSD girls screamed for joy. “AT last Japan Debut!”

Taeyeon smiled. It was one of her dream to debut internationally. “This will be so cool!”

“I know right?!” HyoYeon cheered. “It’s sooo epic!”

Taeyeon giggled. “So right!”. “At lats we may consider ourselves as J-pop artists too!”

They all squealed in happines! “I am sooo excited!” Yul and the rest said.

Taeyeon smiled at her girls and walked towards the lobby to think straight. Since we’ll be away for a couple of moths… I guess… it’s time to finally say goodbye to oppa. I’ll ask him for the last time if I have a chance for his love… and if not, I’ll try to erase this feelings already! Taeyeon deicded. Yes! You can do it Taeyeonnie~

She was about to go to Super Junior’s office when she saw Leeteuk walking towards her too.

“Oh!” Taeyeon exclaimed bervously. “Annyeong oppa~”

Leeteuk stopped and smiled, ‘Annyeong Taengoo! How are you?”

“I am fine…” Taeyeon said. “Uhm…. May I talk to you for a bit?”

Leeteuk smiled, “Yes of course! What is it?”

“Uhm…” Taeyeon hesitated first, she looked around and saw no one around except for the both of them.

“Oh!” Leeteuk interrupted, “Were you able to get home safely yesterday?”

“AH neh~” Taeyeon said with a smile.

“Good!” Leeteuk said. “So what is it that you wanna say?”

“Well…. Just wanna tell you that we’ll finally be debuting in Japan!” Tayeeon said.

“Woah~!” Leeteuk cheered. “That’s fantastic!”

“I know right?!” Taeyeon exclaimed. “I am excited about it!”

“I am so proud of you Taengoooo!” Leeteuk said as he played with his hair.

Tayeeon blushed and smiled, “Komawo!”

Leeteuk giggled, “Is that all?”

“Mmmmm… well…” Tayeeon hesitated.

“Well?” Leeteuk retorted.

“Uhm… I know it’s weird that I ask this but…  I just wanna ask if I… as Kim Taeyeon… has still have a chance to be loved by Leeteuk… by you, the same way as She loves him…?” Taeyeon said nervously. “You see oppa… I really do love you… and if you’ll say yes, if I come back home from Japan, I know that I will have a Leeteuk oppa who I know that will love me too…”

“Taeyeon…” Leeteuk halted her from talking much. He inhaled and said, “I think you know what my response already is….”

Taeyeon felt that it was already the end of the world. She did not expect that Leeteuk to be that straightforward to her. She was trembling and was halting her tears from falling.

She force herself to smile… ‘Ah neh….” She said without looking at his eyes. She’ll just cry if she’’ll look at him. “I know that you’ll say that! I am just being so stupid right now! I shouldn’t have asked you since I for one knows what your answer would be already…” she finally cracked.

“But I do love you as my sister ok?” Leeteuk confirmed.

Taeyeon inhaled and wiped all her tears. He finally had the courage to look straight at Leeteuk. Her eyes were swollen and her face was all red. She showed him a force smile, “Neh oppa~” she cried. She finally showed him that she’s crying. “Thank you for everything! I wouldn’t be this strong if it wasn’t for you… I wouldn’t be successful if it wasn’t for you… thank you!”

Leeteuk’s heart broke when he saw Taeyeon crying because of him. For the first time he saw Taeyeon face to face, crying because of him. He was guilty and hurt, and he was clueless with the reason. He wants to hug her but for the first time he was afraid. He was cared withut knowing the reason why.

“Taeng please don’t cry!” He pleaded.

Taeyeon immediately wiped her tears, “Sorry if you saw that! My tears really… their crazy!” she teased and was still crying. She can’t stop now. “I just wanna thank you again oppa! And now… since I knew that I really have no chance… I-I-I just wanna –s-say that I really do love you more that a brother or a friend. I- I’ll try to erase this feelings so please don’t pity or don’t be burdened about it! Thank you again!”

Leeteuk smiled lightly… Taeyeon why are you like that?! Why do you sound so mature this time?! You’re not the Taeyeon that I knew!

“When will you guys leave?” Leeteuk asked.

“1:30 am, later…” Taeyeon replied wiping her tears.

“Later aready?!” Leeteuk asked shocked.

“N-Neh~” Taeyeon was still crying…

“Taeyeon please don’t cry!” Teuk said as he walked closer to give her a hug.

 Taeyeon moved backwards, “NO Oppa please!” She cried, “Don’t hug me… It will just be hard for me… this will be the last time that you’ll see me like this! Since I know your response already…. Thank you so much for everything! Really!” and she was still crying.

Leeteuk felt like something was crushing his heart when he saw her crying. It was his first time to see her like that. The mature in love Taeyeon…

“I-I’ll just go ahead Oppa… annayeong!” Taeyeon said as she looked down and walked pass by him wiping her tears while catching her breath. He did cried too much in front of Teuk for the first time. Leeteuk wasn’t able to move. He was stiff and was clueless once again on what to do next. What should I do?

I told her to not like she’s not hurt when in front of me… but I did not know that I would not be able to take it when she cries. I must and should admit that I was hurt when I saw her crying.

“Gahhhhhhhh!” Leeteuk yelled on the hallway as he kicked the wall in front of him. “Stupid! Dumb! PABOOOOO!”