Even though it was spring, the sky looked a tad gloomy and dark, awkwardly matching the situation before her hands. Grey clouds threatened to discharge rain drops over her head as she rushed to school from the bus stop.

Letting out a sigh of relief, she stepped into battle ground -- No, let me rephrase that -- she stepped into University. Her relief suddenly turned into anxiety that strangled her like a pair of hands, threatening to take her breathe away.

Suddenly the room darkened and she stopped walking. Everyone's voices sounded muffled in her ears and for as much as she blinked she couldn't see anything. Panick started filling her and, she closed her eyes shut, hoping it'd pass. It didn't.

"Y-yoongi.." She voiced out reaching for the closest arm to her and as she started feeling dizzy, her breathe quickened. She looked around once more, terrified. Was she going blind? Deaf? Was she dying? No, no, no. There were still so many things she wanted to do in life. Find the love of her life, write a book, perform in a big stage. She wanted to be with her friendsmore, have fun, be happy. What was happening?

As if answering to her questions the owner of the arm she was so tightly gripping onto, pulled her closer to his chest and hugged her. "Don't fight the symptoms." A soft, husky voiced murmured in her ear. This wasn't her brother for sure.

She closed her eyes, took deep breaths and stayed in his arms for about 3 minutes, which seemed like an hour to both.

"Open your eyes..."

Hesitant, she did so. And, surprisingly, everything was getting back to normal. Her breathe was starting to even, the panick and helplessness inside her had disappeared, she could now see and the sounds were not as distant as earlier. Slowly letting go of the warm, comforting embrace she was in, Chaerin looked up at he, who helped her.

"Tha-thank you, Namjoon." God, did she just stutter?

"It's okay." He said simply and backed away a bit more. They were about half a palm away and he thought that, certainly, she didn't think it to be as comfortable as he did.

Apparently, he was wrong, because she hugged him again, a bit tighter than earlier, and burried her face into his chest. His heart started to flutter and he could almost hear it beating against his ribcage. Her touch was soft and having her like this, in his embrace, made him happy. Could she feel his heart beating for her like that? He gave her gentle pats on the back and looked at a smiling Yoongi in front of him. He turned around and with a wave of his hand, walked away with Minji.

Chaerin's tongue was still felt like it had been tied, so it was hard for her to speak. She was so scared back then, she didn't know what to do. Yes, she had anxiety attacks before. They were just never this strong. "How did you know what to with me in that state..?"

He gave her a sad smile and let go of her. "We're late to class, let's go." He said, choosing not to answer her question. It was not like he could tell her what he felt and what he had to deal with inside his mind, anyway. He didn't have the courage to say it like that. It was too personal. It was not like he didn't trust her, it was just that some things weren't easy to say.

Namjoon knocked on the door of their classroom and got in, excusing himself for being late. Chaerin entered right before him and closed the door.

Both of them had to sat on the floor, in the front of the classroom to be able to see the board. Namjoon took off his shades, like always, and looked up to pay attention to class.

Portuguese wasn't the easiest of subjects to him, but he needed to pass it to keep his scholarship. He looked to the side to ask Chaerin for help, but she wasn't even paying attention. She was just doodling on the corners of her worksheet. Observing her, he noticed her eyes were like glass. Fixed on one point only. Thinking.

It was not like she didn't care about class, there was just a lot inside her head. Half was thinking about him, hoping the operation would go well and he would be healthy after all of it. The other half was thinking about how sweet Namjoon was earlier and how he seemed to know exactly what to do to make her feel better. Both thoughts combined created extreme disorganization and noise inside her head. It was almost like being on a public train station.

"Min Chaerin, podes-me traduzir esta citação e dizer-me quêm a disse?" The teacher called her to translate a quote written on the board and say who said it. After reading it, she smiled lightly.

" «Adoramos a perfeição, porque não a podemos ter; repugna-la-íamos se a tivéssemos. O perfeito é o desumano porque o humano é imperfeito.» is a phrase by Fernando Pessoa that can be translated into «We adore perfection, for we cannot have it; dislike it we would if we had it. The perfect is the unhuman because the human is imperfect.»."

Miss Paiva smiled at her. "You never fail to amaze me, Chaerin."

She smiled in return and thanked her. She had always liked this teacher. She was pretty, smart and nice. No wonder she was married to the actor KimBum. She remembered when the news that Inês Paiva, a portuguese foreigner, was going to marry KimBum, korea's pretty boy actor, hit the nation. The poor 22 year old woman was being hated by a bunch of hormonal teens, but still, she kept her head high. Smiling, hand-in-hand with the perfect man for her. Sometimes, Chaerin really envied her, but envy wasn't the kind of feeling she was used to feeling. So, it didn't last long.

The class was 30 minutes from ending, when she felt a weight being put onto her shoulder. When she looked to the side, she noticed Namjoon sleeping. It was a weird sight. Wasn't it the girlfriend who usually fell asleep in the boyfriend's shoulder? Not like she thought of him that way! No! It was just an example. Yes. An exemple, that's it.

"Namjoon.. Namjoon.." She whispered and nudged him lightly to wake him up, but he simply stirred in his sleep. How was she even going to wake him up? Her eyes lit as she had an idea. She took her white furry pen out of her pencil case and held it close to his face, ghosting it over his skin. Feeling ticklish he shoo-ed it away and scrunched up his nose, thinking it was a fly. Giggling to herself, she did it again. Same reaction. "He's not going to wake up this way." She mumbled and gently took his head from her shoulder. His head was now hanging low like as if he was reading something on the manual. She poked his side, nothing. She blew on his ear, nothing. She played with his dread locks, nothing. What else could she even do?

Chaerin leaned closer to him and whispered in his ear. "Wake up." He groaned lightly asking for 5 more minutes. Shaking her head she sighed. How could someone so handsome look so cute asleep? She kissed his cheek and repeated herself. "Oppa, wake up."

His eyes shot open and he blinked repeatedly. He looked to the side and saw Chaerin taking note of the homework. Was it a dream? No, it couldn't. It felt quite real. Namjoon could even see Chaerin's cheeks changing color into a light pink. Probably embarrassed from kissing his cheek. But did she really call him 'oppa'? He chuckled to himself, wondering if she knew the effect that small word had on him.

Flashback

"Why doesn't Chaerin call anyone oppa?" 

Namjoon was with Suga and Hoseok, in their room. It was the same day he agreed to stay over for a while.

"Well.." Hoseok said and the two boys exchanged meaningfull looks. Namjoon sighed. 

"Do you know how many times I've seen you two give each other that look?"

Yoongi pursed his lips and nodded lightly with his head to give Hoseok the permition to tell him.

"Chaerin.. She suffered a lot when she was younger and, you see.. She.. suffered a trauma. And, whenever she says the word 'oppa' she remembers what happened. It's not easy for her to say it, so we preffer it if she's comfortable with everyone. But, she insist on saying it sometimes.. To get used to the word. But, she only says it near the people she's close to and trusts, in case she starts having a panick attack or freaks out.." Hoseok stopped talking. Namjoon looked down and bit his lower lips, feeling bad for her. He simply thought she hated the word, like he hated the word 'seosaeng-nim'. "Please.. Try to understand and help her when you see her acting different. She will probably try to hide it by keeping away from people at those times."

"Namjoon, look.. We know how you feel about her," What was Suga talking about? Namjoon, himself, didn't even know. How could they? "and we're trusting you to make her smile."

He nodded, still not understanding what they were trying to say.

"Man, you're a nice guy. But, believe us. Make her cry and you won't be that nice anymore."

Yoongi stood up and gave him a light pat in the shoulder. "Let's go. It's dinner time."

He stood up after stuffing his things into his backpack and extended his hand in front of him to help Chaerin up. She gladly took his hand and he pulled her up. She blinked her eyes as she felt her hand become hotter and her heart skip a few beats. Was it nervousness she felt? Or, perhaps, was it something else? Making a mental note to ask her best friend about it, Chaerin smiled sweetly at him.

They walked over to Yoongi and Minji and as they did so, Namjoon had an idea. "Hey, Chaerin.. Do you, by any chance, want to come with me to a rap battle later this week? It's friday and we don't have Uni the day after anyway.."

"Sure. Why not?"