After our little date we headed to my house ; WE because Xiumin insisted to give me a ride home since it was getting dark outside .I didn't really knew why but he seemed unlike his usual self , I mean the atmosphere between us was a little tensed . Like there were words that he wanted to say but he just couldn't find the guts to do it.

I hate when people cannot express their feelings or expose their problems to me freely ...I got the feeling that I'm useless or something like that . So in order to break the ice I had to be the one who opened the topic .

"Xiumin ...You act different compared to who I'm used to see you . Is there anything wrong ?" My question took him by surprise I could see that . He looked tensed , I could read hesitation in his eyes as if he wasn't sure to lie to me or to tell me what was the problem."And I want you to tell me the truth , not a big fat lie ! "

He cleared his throat and stopped walking . I swear I never saw him until that day so intent."Areum...It's hard to explain the situation."He's voice was trembling and he tried to smiled to detense the situation but his smile looked fake to me .

"Look I'm kind of having a crush on this girl ,but the problem is that she's too perfect for me,can't reach her level as much as I try ." In that moment I tried to find who could this girl have been. I think I thought about all the girls in our High School, even the girls I saw on the battle's day...But in my stupid ignorance I forgot one person. How could I have been so stupid! 

"Oppa what are you talking about ? You are an incredible person and I'm sure once you confess to that girl she'll fall for you in an instant . Like who wouldn't fall for Xiumin ? "I said as I hugged his arm ,And dear reader please don't judge my behavior I'm just like that with my friends I do tons of skin-ship to show my support and care. Even now, after such a long time I still like to hug people a lot ~

"Areum-ah is kind of complicated to confess , what if she says no?" I didn't knew what to answer , I imagined if I was in his situation and I would confess to a guy , the idea of a rejection was scary . We almost arrived at my house and I just wanted to make Xiumin feel better so I let these words out of my mouth without thinking : 

"In the end oppa I think you should confess ,if you don't do it you might regret later " In my mind I was thinking a lot different than my words but ...I make wrong choices when it comes to what should I say 

"Areum-ah , you sure this is the right thing to do?" he hesitated "Are you really sure ?" The fact that he asked me twice was a little scary ,what was he trying to say by asking me twice ?? As usual a million thoughts were skipping   

I didn't say a word afraid of what he could say I just nodded slowly.

"Well fine then Areum ... I'll make the confession right now 

I really like you Areum , you are special to me and I know I can't compare with other guys , and I'm aware that you might don't like me .And I'm just plain stupid and also I'm sure I'll regret it but I'll do it anyway." Only the confession got me from surprise; I mean I just received a while ago one from Chanyeol and that alone was very problematic for me but now also Xiumin, it was to much for me to handle . 

BUT what Xiumin did after he ended his avowal was so unexpected that I just froze in placed 

He kissed me ; Our lips were touching , He couped my face in his little but muscular hands , We were kissing ; 

I suddenly become back to my senses ! This wasn't right , I don't have that kind of feelings for Xiumin. He's one of the closest persons to me and I don't want to lose him , but I can't love him . Is about Hamin and Chanyeol too ..No I had to stop until I'll regret it .

I broke the kiss and for like a minute or so both of us just stayed there looking at each other .

"I can see by the look on your face that is just a one- side love"He's mellow and cute voice was full of sadness , and his eyes were full of disappointment . His words were true , but how can I admit that when is clear that he's suffering ...If I were him I would suffer too ...I hate myself once again for breaking his heart.

"Oppa , is not like that I mean this is unexpected and when you told me you liked a girl who is perfect I didn't even for a second thought about me , because I'm full of flaws , I'm not what you deserve ...Xiumin I'm sorry but I care about you a lot so I don't want to ruin our friendship because of a momentary crush."

After hearing my words he showed a weak smile and patted my head

"Is easy to tell this words , cause our Areumie doesn't know how much a unrequited love hurts. But yeah you're right I'd better just be friends with you rather than lose you completely. So ...let's say that tonight didn't happened and let's comeback to what we were before." I knew he was trying to be like this in front of me but in reality he was crushed by my words ;I'm a bad person because I could hurt this amazing person and hurt his feelings.

"Xiumin oppa,please forgive me , but ..."I wanted to say something cliche again but he hugged me ...to shut my mouth . I think he did the right thing

"Shhh Areumie just stay like this , without saying a single word , Please I beg you ! " The sadness in his voice made me teary  Why in this entire world ,the one person that I respect and care about should be heart-broke because of me ??

After that I run in my house leaving Xiumin there , without even saying good-bye . I'm so pitiful ...in a couple of months my life become so tangled I don't know how I'll handle the future.

Little did I knew that the entire scene with me and Xiumin was watched by two important people for me ... Did I managed to ruin all my relations in one night ??? Why me ?

The future doesn't look so bright anymore...

Hiiiiii!!!!:* I'm back~~

The next chapter is gonna be on on Sunday I think ~~

<3 LOVE