“Lena” I heard his voice.

He was standing there, in front of our door. He looked; I don’t have words to describe how he looked. I didn’t know what to do. I wondered how long had he waited there. I wondered what he was doing there. I wondered why he was still here waiting when he could have just gone.

“I’ll leave the two of you alone” Jake said and gave me a quick touch behind my back. I nodded and watched as Jake went inside the door.

I turn towards Kris as soon as the door was closed; I didn’t know what to say to him and was left speechless.

“Hey” Kris gave a painful smile towards me.

I couldn’t say anything to him but just stood there looking at him.

“I’m sorry, Len” was the words that came out from his lips next, I didn’t want that.

“Can you stop saying you are sorry?” I snapped.

Kris didn’t reply, he felt my annoyance. I was annoyed with everything. I knew I shouldn’t be feeling that way, I knew Kris felt guilty as well.

“How long did you wait?” I asked Kris.

“Not that long” He said and walked closer towards me. I took a step back, “Just a few hours” He continued.

“You could have gone home” I said to him and I could feel myself getting soft.

“I wanted to see you, Len” His hands were finally on my cheeks, my cheeks slowly. I tried hard as I took his hand away from my cheeks.

“I, we have a lot of things to talk about” I said towards Kris and looked away from him.

“No, I know what you are going to say. I’m not leaving; I don’t want to leave you. That is not a choice, Len” Kris quickly grabbed onto my shoulders.

“Kris, you like Jane. So, you should, you should leave. I think it’s the best thing for you, right now” I softly whispered to him.

“No, it’s not the best thing. I need you Lena. I’m just having conflicted feelings right now” Kris tried to explained but I couldn’t accept that.

“You don’t need me Kris. You’ll be fine without me. Jane deserves you. She’s a great person, I can bet.” I gave a smile and couldn’t help but his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Kris. I can’t do this to you.”

“No, Lena. I need you, I really do. I know, you mean a lot to me. I really do like you. I can’t imagine not having you in my life” He hold onto my hands, keeping it on his face.

“Who says I’m not going to be in your life? We’ll still be friends. I will still be there if you need me” I insisted.

“But I don’t want to be friends, I want you, I want you here, with me” Kris slowly intertwined his fingers with mine.

“You can’t bring yourself to say; I want you, to be my girlfriend, can you?” I asked because we all know deep down, we would never be.

“Please, Len, don’t make this hard for the two of us. I really need you. I care for you, what more do you want me to say?” Kris almost cried. I was holding back tears.

“I don’t need you to say anything, Kris. Just let me go. You like Jane, so go. Go and mend your relationship.” I pushed him softly.

“No. Lena, please don’t do this” Kris hugged me a little too tight.

“I have to do this, for your sake. I want you to be happy, Kris. I see that look in your eyes. You always have that guilty look. I don’t want to see that anymore. I see you getting sad whenever I mention Jane’s name. I know you care about her a lot. I know you love her. So, go. While I’m still giving you the chance, go” I pushed him away.

“Do you like Jake, Lena?” Kris suddenly asked and I immediately look towards him.

“Kris.” I shook my head, “Don’t do this”

“I see that look in his eyes, he likes you. You seem to like him too.” Kris was now holding onto my wrist as I tried to walk away from him.

“Don’t go there. This has nothing to do with Jake” I said to Kris and shook my head, “Don’t do this, Kris. Please”

“But I need to know, do you like him, Len?” I sighed towards Kris.

“Why Kris, why are you doing this?” I almost cried, “I just want us to be happy”

“Then stay, stay with me. I wouldn’t leave you, if you do that, I’ll be happy” Kris continued to hold on to my wrist.

“No,” I almost shouted.

“I’m sorry Kris but no. I don’t think you would be happy, not with me. Please, let’s just stop this, I can’t do this anymore, we can’t do this anymore. I spend years liking you, I did. I still do like you. But I know and I’m sure we won’t be happy. Because I know, we are not meant to be. You don’t have the courage to build a relationship with me.

Yes, I would like to think Alex as the reason why you never try but you could have at least tell me your feelings. You never try, Kris; you never tried to share and build a relationship with me, to have something with me a few years back.

When I knew you were with Jane, what broke my heart the most wasn’t the fact that you didn’t tell me or you gave me hope or the fact that she was your girl friend but because you made a move, you had a relationship with her. Kris that shows something. I know you better than anyone else. You will never be in a relationship with someone you don’t care, you don’t love. We all know that.

I was with you for almost four years, beside you, always there next to you, but you never once had the thought or want to, move on past that friendship we have. You never wanted me to be your girl friend; you just wanted me to be there, next to you.

Almost like a sister, I admit Kris, I love you. I do and it breaks my heart, my mind when I began to realise all this. I love you but I know you would never love me the same way you love Jane or even Diana.

So, Kris, please just let me go. Jane, she means a lot to you. You wouldn’t have conflicted feelings if you didn’t like her. So go, don’t ruin your relationship because of me. Please?” I was in tears, trying as hard as I can to catch my own breath. I pushed Kris away as hard as I can and he remained motionless trying still to tightly grab on to me, eventually he loses all strength.

I ran towards the door and immediately closed it behind me. I was in a mess, I started sobbing and crying, trying hard to breathe in between. Jake immediately ran over and pulled me close.