We definitely were on a theme, we had dinner at a very rustic atmosphere restaurant and we were both more than happy with the place. The restaurant was build in a bungalow and was situated far away from the busy city. As we walked into the restaurant, we were greeted with an open spaced ambience with wooden floors and surrounded by nature. The waiter took us towards the end of the veranda; we sat looking out towards the scenery.

I let Kris order everything since he knew the food better; I was more than happy with all of the choices he made. We were having desert when we decided to explore more of our past.

“I don’t remember a thing from then” I took a bite of the waffle we ordered for desert.

“Do you remember having to run during that final year?” Kris remembered, we decided to participate in our faculty’s 12km run, well, in my case, I was forced to participate.

The hardest part of the run was the training; waking up early, pushing each other on, trying to overcome the previous time and set up a better pace. Kris was a great pace maker though, I manage to finish the run in 1 hour and 5 minutes with him.

“I still can’t believe Alex manage to convince me to run” I smiled when I remembered how Alex tried his best to encourage me to join in. I wasn’t in the best shape, but he trained with us during that time and was one of my other pace maker as well.

“You were oblivious though” Kris nodded.

“Oblivious?” I asked Kris, not understanding what he was talking about.

“Alex really liked you then” Kris explained.

I could only wait for Kris to tell me he was kidding but those words never came. “That’s not true” I shook my head.

“He really liked you Len” Kris continued. “He was giving you all those signs”

“No, no, you’re mistaken. He was being a good friend” I protest. Alex was always a good friend. He was always looking out for the two of us. To be quite honest, Alex was one of the main reasons why I’m friends with Kris.

“No, he told me Len, about his feelings. His feelings for you and I couldn’t ignore that, I couldn’t tell him, I like you too” Kris confessed and I manage to stop eating. “I would have gone ahead with our relationship, if it weren’t for Alex” Kris continued and I had only gave him a questioning look.

“Are you blaming Alex now?” I asked, I couldn’t understand why Alex was a reason why he couldn’t take the next step.

“No, I don’t mean it like that” Kris opposed and immediately looks towards me. “It’s just,” before Kris could continue, I continued for him.

“Brothers before girls? The bro-code?” I stated.

“I’m sorry Lena, I shouldn’t have said anything about it” Kris immediately apologised.

I continued eating the waffle; I was still trying to understand what had happened. I was trying to take in information I just received.

“I’m sorry Len, forget about it, please?” Kris took one of my hands and all I could do was shake my head.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore” I pulled my hands in and put them in front of me.

We were in silent for a few minutes then, I knew I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did. I should not have question. I knew his friends were important to him and my friends were important to me as well. I should not have reacted the way I did. “I’m sorry, Kris” I manage to say.

“I’m sorry Len, I shouldn’t have used Alex as an excuse” Kris smiled as he brushed his fingers towards my cheeks.

I took a breath, we should stop dwelling with the past. I should just let the past be the past; there is no point of regretting, hovering over the past. I then hear Kris releasing a huge breath. I looked up towards him and saw his face trying to tell something, something which has been bothering him.

“I just wanted to let you know, Jane has been calling me for the past few days” Kris took one of my hand as he explained.

I stopped everything I was doing. Words, Kris had said didn’t immediately sink in and I was still waiting for Kris to finish his sentence.

“I told her, I can’t be with her anymore, I just can’t” There was a hint of sadness in his voice and I was unfortunately starting to feel more insecure.

“Why can’t you be with her anymore?” I asked without thinking, it was as if I was seeking for an answer. But really, I was feeling insecure over our ship.

Kris only looked at me with tight lips, no answer came out from his mouth, I couldn’t hear his voice but I can see he was thinking. If he only said ‘Because of you, because I have you’ I would be more than willing to stop the conversation there, I would forget everything that had happened between us but right now, it seemed I was scared, I could almost feel like Kris was floating away.

“Do you still like her?” I bravely asked Kris, I had to know. If Kris really did like Jane more, I would be willing to walk away, I would be willing to stop my feelings because I know I would rather see Kris happy than this. Kris still remained in silent. I was beginning to feel restless. I was beginning to feel frustrated. Why did I have to cut my happiness short, why did I sense that sadness in his voice? I could have just told him I trust him no matter what, but instead, I started questioning.

“You need to be honest, Kris. I wouldn’t be mad” I squeezed his hands a little too tightly as I said those words.

The next few words that came out from him didn’t make me mad, but it made my heart break. I knew, I had a feeling that we weren’t going to be happy, the past caught on. Our past was both still lingering.

“I think I still do, like her” Kris sighed and lowered his gaze.