After the agonizing ride home with Kris, I walked up the stairs and sat in front of my door, I felt all my energy going down, I felt tired; I had no more energy to continue walking. I sat there alone, trying to understand what happened during dinner. I head a few truths from Kris. Finally, Kris started telling me the truth but I can’t help but feel devastated.

I knew, I expected this to happen, I knew we weren’t going to last, but still it hurts. I kept convincing myself he was the one; he was the one that I wanted but look where I am now. I felt alone, I felt all my happiness was sinking in and they were sinking fast. I heard footsteps; I knew Jake was finally home. I tried to bring myself up but really, I had no control over my feet right now. As I tried to push myself, Jake reached the end of the stairs, “Lena?”

I looked up towards him and I couldn’t hide my feelings, “Jake.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Jake ran towards me. I was still sitting, almost hugging my own knees.

“I don’t know, I don’t know, Jake” I manage to say it out loud. Tears was starting to form, I couldn’t say anything else.

“What happened? Lena, talk to me” Jake hold onto my hand, “If it makes you feel better, let it go” He saw the tears I was trying to hold in.

Tears were starting to flow, I had difficulty holding them in and so, they ran, “I don’t know, I can’t do this. I have to let him go.” I muttered but Jake manage to get what I said. “He still likes her, Jake. Kris still like her” I almost shouted. I continued to cry, I have to let Kris go. I must.

“Hey, let it all out” Jake slowly gave me a reassuring hug. I tightly hold onto him and cried.

“I hate myself” I said.

“Don’t do that, don’t blame yourself” Jake my hair slowly.

“I feel guilty, I really do. He broke up with Diana because of me; he left Jane because of me. Even though he obviously still has feelings for her. I’m the reason why he is hurting. I’m the reason why he makes stupid decisions. I’m the reason. I hate myself, I hate me” I hold onto Jake tightly, I was on the verge of breaking down. I was close.

“Don’t do this to yourself, you don’t deserve this” Jake continued my back.

“I was frustrated at him at first, I was. But everything that had happened, everything, it was mostly my fault” I cried, “I put myself in this situation, I can’t be mad at him, it’s my own fault” I was starting to be confused with my own emotions. I was starting to confuse my own self. “It’s my fault.”

I woke up at ten past nine the next morning. I didn’t want to move away from my bed, I laid there, looking out the window. Daylight was slowly gazing in. I tried to remember what had happened last night and all I could remember was Kris telling me, he still likes Jane.

I heard a soft knock on the door and slowly I got up from my bed. Jake opens my door little by little, “Good morning”

“Good morning Jake” I greeted, he walked towards me unhurriedly. I was still sitting on my bed.

“How are you feeling?” He asked and gave me a glass of water.

I shook my head, “My head hurts”

“Let’s get some breakfast first, okay?” Jake asked.

“Can I just stay here for a few more minutes?” I softly said.

“Do you want to be alone?” Jake asked again as he stood up.

“No, stay.” I answered truthfully. I didn’t want to be alone but I didn’t want to get off the bed yet. Jake sat back at the edge. We both looked out the windows.

“The weather seems really nice today” Jake pointed out and it was true, I could see the clouds moving, white clouds.

“It is nice” I agreed. “Thank you Jake, for everything”

“I didn’t do anything really” Jake smiled.

“No, thank you, for being there” I turn towards him, “I don’t know what I would do”

Jake just smiled and we continued looking out the window. It was a great day indeed; the weather was in the right condition.

“Should we go to Marine Life Park today?” I asked Jake.