A few more days before I go, my parents finally asked me about leaving. They asked why I had picked it instead of staying. I never thought of an answer but as I felt them staring, I came up with one;

“I don’t want to stay, I’m sorry Mum. I’m sorry Dad. I don’t want to be here right now” I confessed.

My parents were both surprised with my answer, I knew they expected me to reason that Singapore was the best place to further my study but they would have argued that the internship will be better for my resume.

My answer though however, weren’t up for any arguments. I was not happy here and they can’t do anything about it but let me leave.

“How does Kris feel about that?” My mother asked. I raised my eyebrows, and finally shook my head. “Have you talked to Kris?” She asked again.

“I did Mum” I answered.

“What happened Lena?” My father asked and I didn’t really know what to answer.

“Nothing, nothing happened” We stopped the conversation at that, no, I switched topic. I knew they would agree with Kris, I knew my parents had talked to Kris about my decision and I wasn’t willing to let that interfere with my life anymore.

I received a text from Jess, she was shocked as well. I wondered why my decision shocked everyone. I never thought that I had to answer questions from so many people. I thought they would have let it go, understand and most of all, let me be. In the end, I decided to just not say anything, I didn’t see why I had to assure people, and I don’t know why I had to answer them.

As I sealed my luggage, I took a look at my room and knew my decisions were for the best.

I arrived at the departure hall and had waited before checking in. My parents, friends were there to bid good bye. I felt bad when I saw my friends and my parents cried, I only manage to say “It’s only a year, I’ll be back here” I didn’t know they would be sad to see me leave, I was selfish. I only thought of myself and I never thought of anyone else.

“Come back home happy” My mother said and that made me feel better. I was glad I manage to be honest with both my parents. I was already happy; they finally understood why.

I saw Kris behind everyone. I tried not to look at him; I just couldn’t predict what words he would say. The last time I checked, airports usually leave us both with a tinge of sad memory. When my friends had make way and my parents went away, Kris finally approached me. I stood there, holding onto my backpack.

“Good bye, Kris” I muttered and Kris standing a few steps away only looked at me. I looked back at him and I felt that it was time; it was finally time to let him go.

I was wrong.

“I’ll come with you. I’ll go there, I will” Kris suddenly said. Kris wasn’t willing to let go. Kris was still with his own decision.

“You shouldn’t, give it up Kris. I’m okay, I’m not mad at you anymore. I can’t stay mad at you. I understand. So, don’t do this. You have Jane, treat her well. Don’t do anything you will regret.” I said. I smiled at him and turn around. I was ready to leave.

Kris grabbed my wrist and slowly reached up to my cheeks, “I’m not willing to let you go. I can’t let you go”

I grab his hands and pulled them softly. I hold his hand and smiled, “You have to. You have to let me go” I walked away and check myself in. I turn around to look at everyone for the last time. Kris’ expression, face, body broke my heart. He was dejected but I can’t play this game anymore. He can’t, it’s too much for both of us.