Kris tried to mend things, Kris tried. I wasn’t ready though. I was really upset, I couldn’t accept the fact that he lied again, I couldn’t understand why he can’t leave Jane. I don’t understand why he promised in the first place. I was right; I should have stopped our ship back in Singapore. I should have let it sink, buried deep but I didn’t.

I was at the cafe when I next saw Kris. He was alone and so was I. I knew he would take the opportunity to talk so I walked out the cafe. He managed to catch up. He managed to grab my wrist yet again. Sometimes I wished I had bigger steps, longer legs to beat him while running away.

“Lena! Please, just listen to me, give me a chance” Kris said as he tried to stop me from walking away.

I still struggled with his grip, I can’t, and I don’t want to stay here.

“Please” He pleaded and bends down to look me straight in the eyes.

“I can’t” I mumbled, it only came out in a mess.

“Please, Lena” Kris begged yet again and I almost went soft, I was almost persuaded.

“I can’t Kris, We can’t. You have Jane and I need to accept that. No, I should have accepted that a long time ago, we shouldn’t be doing this” I finally manage to say.

“But Lena,” Kris tried to cut me off.

“No, there is not buts, we just can’t. You have a girlfriend, a great one I’m sure. I don’t want to ruin another relationship, I don’t want to be a wrecker” I insisted.

I had to make a decision fast. A few months ago, I thought I knew what my decision was. As things progress, my decision starts to waver.

I needed to make a decision within the hour; should I go, should I stay? I had two options, our university finally started discovery year, I was in my last year of university. I had to decide whether I would go for another learning year or spend the year in an internship programme.

Learning for another year meant leaving home and right now, that seems to be the best option. Internship meant staying at home and I didn’t like the idea at all. I’m having that moment when everything at home seems wrong and I just want to go somewhere away from the comfort zone. Away from the people I know, to be specific, away from Kris.

I haven’t asked my parents but I needed to make the decision and I was guessing that the decision is mine at all cost. As I walked into the office, I became more determined, I became more sure of the thing I was about to do.

I walked towards the counter and while everyone else was excited and happy with their decision, I knew my decision would also be right. I finally ticked the box, I finally did. When I gave the forms back to the clerk, she informed me of something I was happy to hear.

“Looks like you are going off to Singapore, Congratulations!” She said and I thanked her.

The selection was based on our academic level and our degree programme. I was given the university, the university I’ve always wanted to go to and it wasn’t because of Kris. For once, it wasn’t because of him, for once my choice didn’t revolve around him.

So, Singapore, here I come once more.