Joonmyun didn’t know how long he’d been looking at the words on the page, all he knew was that he had to read on and remember all of this so he could go on to the next bit and then the next bit and then the next bits after that and if he remembered it all then he could go home. …When he put it that way, it didn’t sound that far away.

Of course, that was a shortened version.

Needless to say, he still had plenty of work to do.

Kevin looked on worriedly from his bed, since the day after Joonmyun and Yixing ‘fought’, all he had been doing was studying. If he wasn’t studying he was in class and if he wasn’t doing either he was eating or sleeping. Every day was a constant cycle, and Kevin wished he’d just let up before he works himself to death.

His attention diverted when their dorm door started knocking and he stood up to answer it and Joonmyun, having taken no notice (though he was considerably closer to said door), continued to look through his books.

“Kevin, dear!”

“Mrs Kim,” Kevin said, slightly in shock, as Joonmyun always seemed to tell him when they were having visitors. “Why are you here?”

Joonmyun still hadn’t taken notice of the new presence, too engrossed in his book to realize. His mother looked over at him, concern etched on her face.

“I came to see this kid,” replied worry evident in her voice as she moved towards him. Lightly, she tapped him on the shoulder. Though it was soft, it caught him off guard, him jumping nearly out of his skin, making Kevin erupt in to laughter. It was the most alive Joonmyun had seemed in some two weeks.

“Mum,” he exclaimed, shocked, “What are you doing here?”

“I came here to visit Kevin.”

“Oh,” he said, looking down at his book once again, having not snapped out of his studying state.

His mother smacked him lightly over the top of his head.

“I came to see you, Joonmyun.”

Said male rubbed his head.

“Do you do this every day?”

Joonmyun nodded.

His mother sighed.

Kevin decided that he probably shouldn’t be in the room at this sort of moment, deciding to duck into their bathroom for a while. It didn’t stop him from putting his ear up against the door though.

“Baby, why-“

“I need to go home.”

“Why do you- why do you hate it so much here?”

Joonmyun exhaled, “Mum, I don’t- I don’t hate it here, I really don’t. I just hate being so far away from everyone, I hate not being the boyfriend I promised to be. I promised Kyungsoo I’d never leave but I did, I promised Yixing I’d never leave but I did, and whilst I haven’t been here he’s been upset because I haven’t been good enough to him. We haven’t spoken in nearly two weeks, and the last time we did he got really upset with me.”

Kevin could hear the crack in his voice, even through the door.

“I miss him, mum, I miss him so much and I miss everyone else, and I know a lot of people go through things like this, that they are separated from the people that they love, but I can’t do it. I like it here mum, I do, but I wish I’d had a choice in the matter, because even though I should be so grateful for this opportunity I’m not, because I don’t want to be here. I want to be back home and I want to go to that university I’d dreamed of going to since we moved back there, not this one.”

Mrs Kim frowned.

“I’m sorry.”

Joonmyun smiled weakly in response. “I’m sorry mum, I love you and I really mean it, but I’m not meant to be here, I’m meant to be at home, I want to be at home. If this is what I have to do to get there faster than it’s what I’m going to do.” 

“I’m glad my whole trip wasn’t wasted,” Joonmyun’s mother laughed as she held on her cup of coffee, Kevin also giggling slightly.

“Well, I’m glad.” Kevin grinned.

Mrs Kim’s face suddenly turned more serious, “But honestly, how is Joonie doing?”

Kevin frowned. “…He’s not good,” he said. “He’s so worried about Yixing and getting home in time that he’s kind of like a… living zombie? I don’t know, he needs to stop, but he just won’t.”

“I wish we’d never applied him in the first place…”

“I apologize for being blunt, Mrs, but me too… And Joonmyun. It’s not good for him.”

“He must hate his father and I.”

Kevin shook his head, “No, no, he doesn’t. He hates himself more than anyone else, and he blames himself for everything. He’ll cry to himself and he’ll cry to myself and Amber, but he won’t show Yixing.”

His mother nodded.

“I know I have no say in this, but please, Mrs Kim, please let him go home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It was fifteen minutes since their lesson was meant to have begun, and with Yunho and Jongin clearly late, Yixing had found himself with Joon, practising something they’d been taught last lesson.

“No no no no no, you move like this.” Joon grabbed hold of Yixing’s hips, swaying them slightly. Yixing was certain he’d long gotten the move correctly, and that he was now just playing with him (not to mention that every time, Joon’s hands would drop lower and Yixing would swat them away, making Joon burst into laughter).

Five minutes later, Jongin walked through the door (luckily, no chain-store coffee in hand), and the first thing he did was eye the two very closely. Yixing didn’t notice his clearly apparent disapproval, of course.

“You showed up.” he said sarcastically, making Jongin rolled his eyes.

Joon was torn whether to detach from Yixing’s waist or to leave his hands there just to spite Jongin. He saw the death glare and had made up his mind to leave them, but Yunho chose that moment to burst walk through the door, and Joon knew play time was over.

The whole lesson, Joon couldn’t keep his eyes off the Chinese. Not that he usually could anyway, but there was something about it. Every plan he’d made over the weekend was shattered as he watched Yixing’s body move in front of him, and he knew what he’d be doing after class.

The way he was looking at Yixing made Jongin want to punch him in the face.

As soon as their lesson ended, Jongin nearly pulled Yixing out of the room, dead set on getting him as far away from Joon as quickly as possible.

“Jongin, where the are you taking-“

“I need to pee.” he replied, though he didn’t really, he just needed to get the oblivious one away.

Yixing shook his hand out of Jongin’s grip. “Kim Jongin. You are a big boy, you can go to the bathroom on your own. I cannot be bothered, I am tired. Go by yourself.”

“But you need to-“

Yixing raised an eyebrow. “But I need to…?”

Jongin huffed, dropping the other’s arm and sulking off in the direction of the bathroom. “Fine then, forget I ing bothered.”

Yixing’s eyes widened in shock and the rest of the dance students walked past. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned around, finding it to Joon.

“Hey baby, what’s got you looking so shocked?” he asked, “Where’s Jongin?”

Right now, if Jongin were there, he’d be saying how stupid the other was for being so oblivious.

Yixing rolled his eyes, “He got annoyed with me and I don’t know why. I think Kyungsoo isn’t putting out for him or something.” he bit his lip, and it was all it took for Joon’s final thread to snap. Yixing was promptly pushed up against the closest wall. Though they were roughly the same height, Joon was towering over him, and for the first time, Yixing felt uncomfortable around him.

Joon had his left arm up against the wall above Yixing’s head, the other placed next to his shoulder. Yixing could feel his breath teasing the skin on his neck, but this was an unwelcome feeling, the warmth making him feel sick.

“J-Joon, what are you doing?”

Joon wasn’t cute, friendly Joon anymore, to anyone else he would have been seductive; y… But Yixing was scared. He didn’t want to be in this position, he didn’t want Joon to be either of these things, because even if Yixing couldn’t face him, he still had Joonmyun and Joonmyun was all he ever wanted.

Joon breathed in and exhaled, the feeling on his skin making him shudder unpleasantly.

“Yixing-ah, you drive me wild. You’re so gorgeous and y without realizing, I really like you.”

“I’m sorry- I-,” the Chinese stuttered, heart racing in not anticipation, but fear. “I don’t like you like that.”

Joon cocked his head, “Really?  I think you should change your mind.”

Jongin sulked off for about two minutes, before wondering what the he was doing and began running faster than he ever had back. He’d seen the way that Joon was looking at Yixing, and he trusted him no more than he did the first moment he laid eyes on the eyes that were laid on his best friend.

Joon placed a thumb on Yixing’s cheek bone, rubbing it slightly as Yixing tried to bare his teeth.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Oh Yixing, baby. That’s not what you’ll be saying later on.”

Jongin turned around the corner, and his heart instantly dropped when he saw Yixing pinned up against the wall, Joon tenderly brushing his face. He couldn’t hear what the two were saying, and he was at a loss for what to do.

“We’re just ing friends, Joon. I like you as a friend and that is it. I have a boyfriend.”

Joon scoffed, “So? Break up with him, don’t break up with him, I don’t care. I want you, you want me. What’s the problem?”

Before Yixing knew what was happening, Joon was leaning in, his lips almost touching.

Jongin couldn’t believe what was going on in front of him.

He knew Yixing was upset, he knew Yixing was lonely. But this?

The worst part was, he didn’t know whether he should stop it or not. Would this actually make Yixing happy? He felt like if he let Yixing do this, he’d regret it forever, so he gave in to his instincts, a shout preparing to leave his throat.

Yixing scrunched his eyes shut; it was too late to move his arms and push him back or move out the way. The only thing he could think of doing through the scared mush that was his brain was landing a sharp knee-in to Joon’s crotch.

He did just that, and nearly sighed in relief when his lips were untouched and Joon’s hands went from the wall to his package, stumbling backwards and bending over in pain.

It all happened so fast that Jongin was surprised he didn’t scream, he was kind of sad he wasn’t the one that didn’t get to knee Joon, though. Relief filled his body, before he was hit with a wave of rage. He’d tried to touch Yixing.

 “What the , Yixing!?” Joon yelled in pain, hands over his merchandise.

“Me? What about you? I told you not to ing touch me.”

“Why ing not?”

“I don’t like you, Joon. I have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, a boyfriend that ing left you! He doesn’t ing deserve you, you deserve someone who will always be there for you, who won’t make you upset like he has. He’s worthless.”

Yixing’s eyes burnt with untameable rage.

“Don’t you ing talk about my boyfriend like that.”

“Are you two even ing dating? He left, Yixing. You two haven’t had a proper conversation in weeks!”

“He might have gone away, but it doesn’t mean he left me!”

“It ing means a lot about your commitment.”

“I don’t give a about how you view our commitment; my relationship isn’t to please you.”

“How the is what you have a relationship? Why do you like him after all he’s done to you? Why can’t you like me?”

“It’s a relationship because we ing love each other!” Yixing yelled, “I love him and he loves me and that’s all I need. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t here, that I don’t talk to him as much anymore. It doesn’t matter that I can’t see him every day and that I can’t touch him anymore. I hate myself so much for what I said to him so because it got me into this mess and I hate myself even more because I can’t even gather the ing courage to apologize. It only matters that he loves me and I love him, I’ll wait for him no matter how long it takes. I miss him like hell and it kills me every day but I’ll wait because I ing love him. I love how he smiles at me and how he messages me every day. I love how he sings and I love how he makes me happy. I love how everything he does that he has control over is for my benefit and I love how he puts up with me. I love how he trusts me and I love his body. I love his laugh and the way his eyes crinkle when he smiles and the accent on his words when he speaks in another language. I love the way he kisses me and hugs me and touches me and makes me feel like the most special person in the word. I ing love everything about him, down to the way he ties his shoelaces. I can’t ing like you because I’m too far deep in for him, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“You’re wrong,” Joon said, backing him back in the wall, “Let him go.”

Joon hadn’t noticed, but through the strength of his voice Jongin, knew Yixing was scared. The slight waver gave him away, and Jongin knew Yixing was shaking. Joon leaned in again and Yixing lamely pushed his hands lamely against Joon’s chest, failing to push him away as the other was much stronger. Joon had changed his position so Yixing couldn’t knee him in the crotch again, and there wasn’t really a way he could save himself.

Jongin was glad he had come back, and he couldn’t deny the crack of Joon’s jaw was extremely satisfying.

 Joon staggered back and gripped his jaw, glaring at Jongin.

“Don’t ing touch him again.” Jongin spat, pulling Yixing towards him, who stood in shock.

Before either of the two boys involved could react, Jongin pulled Yixing away.

Yixing was resisting the urge to cry, but he couldn’t be weak any more, he couldn’t. Jongin pulled him all the way to the bench in one of the campus gardens, and he and Yixing sat in silence for quite a while.

“…Thank you.” Yixing mumbled, looking at his hands which were clasped together. A habit he’d picked up for when he felt awkward.

“It’s alright.” was Jongin’s answer, and Yixing couldn’t help but be surprised.

“No ‘I told you so?’”

Jongin shook his head; that was the last thing he planned on saying, “Nope.”

Yixing put his head in his hands. “Why am I so stupid? Why am I like this? Why didn’t I realize before?”

“I only told you all the time.”

“I know, why didn’t I listen?”

“Look, Yixing,” Jongin said, “I know you didn’t expect it, it’s okay.”

“It’s not, it’s really-“

“I guess you haven’t spoken to Joonmyun yet?”

“No,” Yixing frowned, “I don’t know how he ing puts up with me.”

Jongin let out a breathy laugh. “Neither do I, sometimes.”

“I need to talk to him, I need to talk to him when I get home, I need to talk to him now. I just- I just don’t know what to say.”

“Tell him you’re sorry, tell him what you told Joon.”

“I don’t want him to know how weak I-“

“Yixing, it doesn’t matter if he knows how weak you are, he’s meant to. It’s his right to know how upset you are.”

“But I’ll just burde-“

Jongin sighed annoyedly, running his hand through his hair, “For Christ’s sake, Yixing.” Jongin stood up, “He’s your ing boyfriend. Just tell him how you feel; knowing you’ve been upset won’t make him love you any less. He’s not messaging you anymore because he wanted to give you the space you wanted, so if you don’t pick up that phone and call him within the next hour, you’re ing on your own. This is your responsibility now and it always has been, so it up and ing call him.”

The annoyance finally left his face when he saw Yixing’s change.

Jongin was right, and Yixing was going to do something he should have done over two weeks ago.

He just hoped Joonmyun would understand.

∩( ・ω・)∩ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  Authors Note  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ∩( ・ω・)∩

//I need better chapter names
Permission to hate Joon is now granted ^-^
Haha see even when I put in angst I can't keep it up for all that long.
Except I sort of did leave it on a cliffhanger oops sorry.
But not really.
But maybe I did?

ANYWAY LET'S TALK ABOUT  THE SULAY FROM THE 130817 FANSIGN.

NO I'M WASN'T CRYING, THERE WAS JUST GHEI IN MY EYE.
Oh my god but this just makes me really happy ;-;

Off that subject, though I still want to cry, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Thank yu to everyone that is commenting/subscribing/upvoting, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST and I know I tell you that every update but I have to because you're that good :)

Feel free to add me on here, or stalk me on Tumblr. I also have KakaoTalk and LINE if you want to chat, so give me a buzz and I'll get my ID to you :3

Until next time!
Stay cool, guys ;)

homg sulay omg.