A/N: I have a feeling you guys aren't going to like me after this.
Enjoy?

“Yixing, try this one on!”                              

The hanger hit Yixing right in the centre of his head, him letting out a small yelp of surprise.

“Show me what it looks like!”

Yixing could never understand Jongin, thus it was something he had long given up on. He didn’t understand how Jongin went from being a player to being one half of one of the most dedicated relationships, nor did he understand how he would call himself manly when he did ballet, and especially when he loved shopping so goddamn much.

This was how Yixing found himself in a store change-room, trying on a whole bunch of clothes that Jongin had intentions of him purchasing. Yixing didn’t need more clothing because he’d already bought clothes a few weeks earlier, and he had Joonmyun’s (he didn’t mind that they’d become slightly baggier on him since he left, they looked fine just the same), but he knew better than to tell Jongin this.

Yixing had thrown all the other ones to the side once he’d put them on. They were fine and all, but they were all at least a size too big, maybe even two, and he didn’t like them enough to buy them.

Yixing picked the shirt off the floor, eyeing it. He liked this one more than the others, and he quickly slipped it on, realizing that yes, he would buy this, but no, this size was too big. Pulling it off, he called out to Jongin.

“Jongin, get me one smaller! This is too big.”

Thirty seconds later, the same shirt, one size smaller, was thrown over the change-room curtain. This time, Yixing avoided it and caught it, taking a quick look at it before slipping it on.

Huh, still too big.

It was just still a bit too baggy, and Yixing wondered if this store just had weird sizes.

“Is it better?”

“No…” Yixing said as he looked in the mirror, frowning slightly. “It’s still too big…”

“Let me see.” Jongin said, not waiting for approval before slipping through the curtain. Yixing would have been surprised had this not happened before, but he couldn’t really care much, they’d seen each other without clothes plenty of times (not that they exhibited themselves to each other, it was just something they’d both seen).

Jongin eyed Yixing.

“That’s weird, we’re the same size but that’s under what we are. I’ve tried that shirt on before and it fit me perfectly.”

Yixing shrugged, “I don’t know, it’s too big… Size down?”

Jongin frowned, walking out and this time passing the next one through the curtain, Yixing pulling it on and found this time it hugged him how it was meant too, but it seemed shorter than it was meant to be. Yixing huffed loud enough for Jongin to hear, and he once again let himself in, this time without warning.

“It’s a bit… short.”

Yixing looked up to find Jongin staring at him with a look he couldn’t read, his eyes trailing over his stomach, then across to his arms, and up to his face, staring at it for a while longer than Yixing felt comfortable with. It looked like Jongin was analysing him, and though he was used to Jongin staring to try and creep him out, it scared him when that wasn’t his motive.

He was caught even more off guard when Jongin lightly poked his stomach. It wasn’t a jab like Jongin usually delivered; it was almost like he was scared to touch him. Jongin had never been this gentle before.

Yixing would have squirmed away, telling him to stop, had Jongin’s face not been so dark. Realization dawned upon Jongin’s face and it contorted to a look of worry, a frown etching over his features as he squeezed the space just above Yixing’s hip. He pulled up the shirt Yixing was wearing, looking at his torso for a split second before pulling it the rest of the way off and dropping it on the ground, the other complying more because he was in shock than anything else.

Disregarding all the clothes that were left in the change-room, Jongin grabbed Yixing’s wrist, the Chinese barely having time to grab his shirt and clutch it to his chest with his unoccupied hand as he was yanked from the change-room. Jongin pulled Yixing out of the store, and Yixing have finally mustered up the power to speak.

“Jongin,” he started, face flushing red with the embarrassment of being pulled through a shopping centre only half-clothed, but confusion written all over his face. “What the are you doing?”

As hard as he tried, Yixing couldn’t pull out of Jongin’s grip as he stumbled forward, and Jongin never answered his question, even as he got to the car. The two stood there and stared for a while, Yixing in absolute confusion, whilst Jongin’s face flickered with unease and something he could only describe as a sort of fury. Jongin opened Yixing’s door, but didn’t push him in (something Yixing was surprised by), and Yixing took the time that Jongin used to walk to the driver’s seat to put his shirt back on.

Twenty minutes later they were back at Jongin’s. The car ride had been silent, and Yixing still wasn’t really sure what was going on. The ride in the elevator was just as noiseless as the car, and Yixing hadn’t felt so awkward around Jongin since they’d met. He had no idea what he’d done at the store to put Jongin in this sort of mood, but with the way Jongin seemed to be fuming, he was too terrified to ask.

Jongin pulled Yixing into his and Kyungsoo’s room, dragging him so he was directly in front of the mirror. He then sat down on the bed, and Yixing stared at him, bewildered.

“Take off your shirt.”

Jongin’s voice wasn’t angry, and it confused Yixing beyond belief. It was strained.

“What-“

“Just do it, Yixing.”  Jongin spoke more harshly this time, and Yixing complied without question.

“Look in the mirror.”

Yixing turned around, looking at his reflection. It was something he hadn’t done much recently, but all he was seeing was himself, as he always did.

“What have you done to yourself?”

Yixing gulped, staring at himself as what Jongin said began to sink it. The dark lines under his eyes that he hadn’t noticed before became obvious, and the sharp angles in his body were clear. He could see the lines formed by his ribs, and although he was still built from dance, it was more unnatural. His bones were more prominent, his face slightly skinnier. He’d lost a lot more weight than he’d realized, and he was starting to wonder how long it’d been since he’d properly looked at himself.

“I don’t- nothing.”

Jongin stood up. “Nothing? This can’t be nothing.” he again poked Yixing’s ribs lightly, feeling the bone closer to his fingers than it should have been.

“I haven’t done anythi-“

“You haven’t done anything? You’ve dropped two sizes, that’s ing something.”

“I don’t know how!”

“When did you last eat?”

“Yesterday lunch, I haven’t been hungry.”

“Yixing, that’s over twenty four hours ago! Are you ing crazy? You must be underweight, are you starving yourself?”

Yixing looked down; he’d never been good at getting angry, it’d only happen when he was really upset. Jongin didn’t usually, unless it was something he really cared about, and Yixing knew this.

“I’m not starving myself,” he said quietly, attempting to calm Jongin down. He hadn’t been, honestly. “I just haven’t been hungry, and I’ve been dancing a lot. It’s natural I’m going to lose weight because of that.”

Jongin ran his hand through his hair. “How often does this happen? Why- why didn’t you tell me? Did you want to lose weight?” Jongin looked more hurt than Yixing had ever seen him, and it wasn’t even his problem.

“A few times a week,” Yixing started, telling the truth from his viewpoint, though it might be different in someone else’s. He rarely had over two meals a day any more, and then there were days where he barely ate anything at all. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t think it was important, and no, I was perfectly happy with my weight before, and I am fine now.”

But Yixing wasn’t sure if he was fine now, and he pushed down the feeling that was saying he said that more for himself than for the other.

Jongin bit his lip. He felt like he’d failed as a friend, and he felt that Joonmyun was the only one that could fix this.

Yixing could sense his unease, and put his shirt back on, all of a sudden noticing the more pronounced bones that his shirt brushed in the process.

“I’m fine Jongin, don’t be so worried. I’m sure I’ll be back to my overeating self soon.”

But Yixing wasn’t sure if he would be, because this’d been getting progressively worse for months and he had never noticed, but even so, the realization didn’t help his diminishing appetite.

Jongin didn’t know what to do. He wanted to persist because Yixing obviously wasn’t fine, but he knew how Yixing liked to work and he didn’t know if it’d be best to leave it for a bit or leave it to Joonmyun. Yixing was the sort of person that needed at least a few hours to process things that were happening before he made decisions, and judging from his face when he actually looked at himself in the mirror, he needed to process this too. If Joonmyun couldn’t talk to him soon enough, only then would Jongin do it himself.

Jongin wanted to help Yixing, but there was no point when he wasn’t the one who could fix him.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Jongin, why are you ringing at this time of night? Shouldn’t you be in bed?” Joonmyun joked over the phone.

“It’s only 3AM, calm down.” Jongin laughed in response

“That’s the point, why’d you call?”

“I went shopping with Yixing the other day.” he started, though it wasn’t casually like it should have been.

Joonmyun’s eyes widened as he heard Jongin speak over the phone, mind thinking of all sorts of different things that could have gone down. Did someone hit on him (Joonmyun wouldn’t be surprised), did Yixing find someone else?

“Two sizes hyung, he’s dropped two sizes.”

Joonmyun nearly dropped the phone.

“Are- are you kidding?” Joonmyun asked, voice thick with concern and confusion. “Why?”

“I didn’t realize it was this bad. He said he hasn’t been hungry and I’m really ing worried. There is only so skinny dance can make him.”

“But if Yixing lost weight he’d be-“

“Underweight, yeah, I know. He is, he has to be.”

The elder ran a hand through his hair, pulling it as he inhaled and exhaled. The only reason he could think of this was that it was because of him, and he hated himself for it.

“I’ve tried talking to him, but he keeps on brushing it off. Please just talk to him about it, I’m ing worried. Maybe if you mention it or ask him to eat more he will, just please try to do something.”

“Yes, of course.” he blurted, words stumbling out of his mouth with an urgency then he couldn’t explain. “I’ll do it now.”

“Hyung, 3AM. He’s probably sleeping.”

“, right.”

Never had he hated timezones so much.

“Thanks, Joonmyun-hyung. I’m so worried.”

“Don’t thank me, please. Why the didn’t I notice this?”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, I only noticed today.”

“But I see him shirtless even now! I’ve had him shirtless right in front of me and I haven’t realized how much weight he’s lost?”

“Joonmyun, calm down. That’s over a video camera.”

“I can still see him! I should have noticed it.”

“The camera quality isn’t, and you can’t tell me that when you see him shirtless you focus on what your lighting is. It’s not your fault.”

“But it ing is!”

Jongin wheezed, “Us arguing here isn’t going to change anything, and you know Yixing wouldn’t want us to either. Please, just find some way to make him happy again. Talk to him about everything. He misses you but he needs to know you miss him as much as he does. He doesn’t know.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I wanna video-chat Xingie~~
~Joonmyun

I can’t yet, I have to go out with my parents >.<
~Yixing

Will you be able to later then? ;-;
~Joonmyun

I’ll be back around 2:00, is that okay?
~Yixing

Perfect ^-^
~Joonmyun

Yixing really wished he wasn’t out with his parents, because it was one of those times when they were out with other people, and let’s just say that those people had a daughter, around Yixing’s age, who would constantly giggle and bat her eyelashes. She was pretty, but definitely not Yixing’s type. She wasn’t even a guy, nor was she Joonmyun. Oh how he wanted to take her and push her into the next bush, but that wasn’t very socially acceptable, nor politically correct. Instead he just had to smile politely, pretending to be at least slightly interested in the ‘conversation’.

It didn’t leave him in a good mood, but he couldn’t be more glad when it was over.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Yixing-ah,”

The sound of Joonmyun’s voice was enough to lift nearly all the annoyance out of Yixing; almost. Honestly, Yixing had spent the whole day really wishing it could have been spent with the other instead of that girl, but his parents didn’t seem to realize that part the reason that the other family had offered in the first place was so there was a chance for him to court their daughter.

“How are you?”

Yixing breathed out, “Awful. I was forced to go along with my parents and their friends.”

Joonmyun laughed, though he was nervous about what was to come. “It can’t have been that bad.”

“Oh, but they had a daughter.”

“Oh really? Was she pretty?”

“ off, you know I love you.”

Joonmyun took a deep breath. “You know I love you too, right?”

Yixing bit his lip, “Of course, you tell me all the time.”

“If I’m not paying enough attention to you, let me know okay?”

“I’m fine,” Yixing sighed, though he wasn’t exactly telling the truth. He knew Joonmyun had his reasons, but it upset him when he couldn’t talk to him whenever he liked. He knew he shouldn’t feel like he was being slightly cast off, but he couldn’t help it. “I know you’re busy… What do you always do?”

Joonmyun frowned, “Study, baby.”

“It’s an awful lot of studying for your first year…”

Joonmyun scratched the back of his neck, he didn’t really know how to respond.

“Are you alright?”

“Me?” Joonmyun asked, “Yeah, I’m fine. I really miss everyone though, especially you.” he added, “Not even half-way and it still seems like too far. You miss me too, right?”

“Of course I do.” probably a lot more than you miss me.

“Are you looking after yourself?”

“Of course I am, baby.”

“Have you been eating well? You look a lot slimmer…”

Yixing frowned… To lie or not to lie. “I haven’t really been hungry…”

Joonmyun’s face fell.

“But don’t worry, I’ll be fine soon.”

“…How long has this been happening for?”

“Not that long…”

“But Yixing, you look really skinny. How much weight have you lost?”

Joonmyun didn’t like asking these questions, but he had a feeling Jongin didn’t want Yixing to know he’d spoken to him, and he didn’t really know how he could just tell his boyfriend to eat more.

Yixing was getting agitated. It wasn’t just Jongin that was pestering him about him losing weight, but it was everyone. From Kyungsoo to Baekhyun, even to Joon, and he had to admit he was getting kind of fed up about it.

“Not much, anyway, what have you been doing recently, bar studying?”

“Yixing, it doesn’t look like you’ve lost not much. Is anything wrong?”

Yixing was really starting to get irritated now.

Well yeah, there are plenty of things wrong, like how you’re so goddamn evasive like when I ask you what you’re doing.

“Nothing is wrong, Joonmyun, I’m fine.”

Yixing didn’t want to be this aggravated, but he was already in a less than pleasant mood and he didn’t know how much more he could take.

“Are you sure?”

“ Joonmyun, I’m fine!”

Joonmyun’s eyes widened in shock. “Yixing, you need to look after yourself, I don’t want you to-“

“You don’t want me to what? What don’t you ing want me to do?”

“I don’t- I don’t want you to be sad. I want you to be happy.”

“Well what the do you think I am?”

“Yixing-ah, I didn’t mean to make you upset, I’m just-“

Yixing snapped.

“Well you ing succeeded in that, didn’t you? You want to know what’s wrong? I’m ing lost without you, and I can’t take it anymore. It kills and I miss you so ing much and it hurts because I’m so ing weak and you seem to be fine. You’re never there to talk and I don’t know why, and whenever I ask you, you say it’s because of school but how much ing work do they give you? I spend every day ing terrified that you’re going to call me and end it and I hate it. I hate seeing couples and wishing they were us and that you were here. I hate not being able to spend our anniversaries together like a ing normal couple, and I hate the fact that I’m taking this all so badly. I’m so ing weak and you’ve left me like this and I ing hate it. Why are you never here anymore? Sometimes I don’t ing understand why we’re dating anymore because how the is this a relationship? So yeah, I'm not fine, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it.” Yixing yelled as his face streamed with tears, all the emotions of the past months impacting him and tumbling out of his mouth faster than he could filter them. He didn’t know what he was saying anymore.

Joonmyun tried to speak, but he found his throat had constricted and he couldn’t formulate sounds.

“Since you’ve left everything has ing . I’m never hungry and all I do is dance and sleep. I’m a ing mess and it’s all your fault, sometimes I don’t even know if you like me anymore. Is this all some kind of ing joke, am I a joke to you? You left with three weeks’ notice but , you seem too fine to have not known before, which in that case you ing asked me out knowing you were going to leave me like this- that’s ing low!”

“Yixing- I didn’t- I didn’t realize-“

“Yeah, of course you didn’t ing realize, because you’re never ing there!” Yixing couldn’t take it anymore, slamming down the computer lid like he had a few weeks before, except this time for different reasons. Immediately his phone started to ring, and all he could do was ignore it, curl up and cry.

He’d gone too far, he’d said too much. He didn’t blame Joonmyun for anything, but his emotions had gotten the better of him and he’d gone too far. The air around him felt thick as he choked out sobs, and he knew he couldn’t talk to Joonmyun right now. He didn’t think he could face him after saying all that. Yixing was embarrassed, he was ashamed. He hadn’t meant what he said and he was angry, and deep down he felt like he’d just screwed everything up.

 He’d lost count of how many times the phone rung when it stopped, before starting up two minutes later again. Then there were messages, but he couldn’t check them, he didn’t deserve Joonmyun but if he’d decided to break up with him, he didn’t want that reality. 

∩( ・ω・)∩ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  Authors Note  ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  ∩( ・ω・)∩

//hides from mass of angry subscribers
I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY.
I'M SORRY I MADE YIXING A BIT OF A TOO.
BUT before you go hating on him too much, remember that he doesn't know why Joonmyun isn't there much.
Ily Jongin.

In other words I stumbled upon a gifset of AMBER AND KEVIN AND JUST LOOK AT THEM.

BROTPing it and kinda shipping it too.
my story is coming true gah

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