“Wohhooo!! Parteeeey!!” Jjong said as he dances crazily. He was joined by Key in his crazy dance. While me, Onew, Taemin and Minho just laughed at them.

“It’s already past midnight! Are you guys still having fun?” The DJ said through the mic.

The music continued to beat loudly as he plays with it, interrupting it once in a while to talk.

“Oh! It’s SHINee’s Lee Taemin’s birthday today! And he’s here with the rest of SHINee!”  Th DJ said and the crowd cheered and looked at our direction.

“Happy birthday, Taemin-ah! Hope you’re having a great time here!”

“Thank you!” Taemin shouted, as if it will be heard by the DJ that’s about 10 feet away from us.

“As a gift, let’s dance to one of their songs!” The DJ said as he adds some twists and beats to one of their latest songs.

♫♪Areumdawaaaa~♫♪

Everyone cheered as it started playing. The remix version brought everyone such a huge energy. Everyone started dancing and jumping the moment it started playing.

Me and the guys were dancing together in a circle. It was really fun, I missed being with these dorks! :P

“Wooooh!! Happy birthday Taemiiiiiiiin!!!” Key and Jjong said as they danced around Taemin crazily, poking and grabbing different parts of Taemin’s body.

Taemin happily joined their crazy dance. After a while, Minho joined their crazy dance too. It was only me and Onew who’s outside of their circle and just laughing loudly at them. It was embarrassing to just see them like that, how much more if I joined?! Haha!

But the birthday boy didn’t like that they’re the only one being crazy.

“Yah! Join the fun! It’s my birthday!” He said as he dragged me and Onew inside their circle.

Now Onew and I are in the center of the circle of crazy people. We started to dance a bit and when Key punched Onew’s arm playfully, he suddenly changed into a madman! Haha! He danced with so much energy, but out of beat! He’s dancing and jumping and banging his head crazily! Like it’s his first time to jump and dance!

Out of shock, I just looked at the crazy guy in front of me. I suddenly laughed out loud as he danced more crazily—out of beat and awkward. Now I doubt if he’s really the Onew I see on stage with SHINee! xD

“Yah don’t just laugh there! Dance!” Taemin said as he grabbed my two arms from behind and manipulated my movements like I’m a puppet.

I continued to laugh as we danced together. We were also dancing out of beat and rhythm just like Onew and the other guys.

As the song’s about to end, I realized that Taemin’s almost back hugging me. His hands slid from my arms to my hands. I can feel his body heat in every part of my body.

Though we’re still dancing happily, and I’m still smiling, deep inside my heart is about to explode… and I know it’s because of Taemin’s proximity.

And just as I was about to pull his hands from mine, he twirled me to face him before letting go.

I was planning not to look at him directly, but I failed. It was like there’s some energy forcing me to look at him. I was shocked to see him looking at me as well, he looked so happy. And though it’s dark in here, I can clearly see his angelic face… and he’s smiling widely at me. I let out a chuckle and smiled widely at him in return. I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly felt comfortable upon seeing his smile. Though my heart is still beating fast, the nervousness and awkwardness I felt a while ago was replaced with happiness and excitement.

He started to chuckle and it made me chuckle too. And now, we’re both laughing without any reason. He held my hands again to dance in sync. We just continued to dance and laugh like a child. I playfully slapped his face just to cut his stare at me.

“Why are we laughing?” I asked between laughs.

“I don’t know. It’s you who laughed first.” He answered as he looked at me again with a huge smile.

“When did I? You just laughed out of nowhere and it made me laugh too!” I said as I mess his hair.

He just smiled at me like he was stopping himself from laughing again. His eyes glittered and his cheeks got puffy.

“Maybe I’m just too happy! It’s my birthday!” He said.

Then suddenly, Minho arrived and put his arms on our shoulders and walked us forward.

“Com’on guys! The hyungs are already tired. Let’s go up first.” He said with a laugh as he continued to walk, dragging us beside him.

We then entered an elevator and arrived at the 3^rd floor where there are huge couches and some private rooms at the end. The music’s a bit softer here, or is it just the after effect of hearing the loud music downstairs?

I just followed behind the two guys who are a bit dancing as they walk to a private room. I laughed inside. Crazy dorks! :)

As Taemin entered the room, I heard party poppers and loud cheers from the guys inside. I entered and saw them punching Taemin playfully in the couch as they continuously greet him a happy birthday. The sophisticated VIP room looks messy because of them. There’s confetti and balloons scattered all over the room.

I just stood by the door and watched them happily. I quickly got my phone from my pocket and took a lot of pictures of the crazy kids. Must preserve this scene! This doesn’t happen every day! xD Or does it? o.O

As I was reviewing the shots I got, I suddenly realized that it became quiet. And just as I looked up from my phone, I heard a loud pop and it made my heart stop for a sec! Out of shock, I loosened my grip on my phone and put my hand in my mouth.

The loud laughter I heard made me realize what just happened.

“Hahaha! Your expression is the best!” Minho said between his laughs.

I looked at each of them and glared at Taemin as he has a small party popper in his hands. He immediately denied that it was him.

“It was Hyung’s idea! I’m innocent!” He said as he points at Key who’s also holding a small party popper.

I glared at Key and he didn’t deny it.

“There were some extras! I just don’t want to waste it! Haha!” He said and laughed like he’s usual diva self.

“Argh!” I said as I cover my face and looked down in embarrassment.

“It’s okay, we didn’t take a picture of you!” Jjong said and I looked up at them with a pout.

“Oh, now I just did!” He added right after a flash.

They all laughed as they saw the picture. I tried to steal the phone from his hands but he quickly handed it to Minho, who quickly put it high above his head. I can’t reach it even if jump!

“That’s my phone! Give it back!” I tried to say it with anger, but it just sounded like a plea.

They laughed once again.

“It’s cute! Don’t worry!” Onew said as he stopped me from jumping.

“What are you doing?!” I asked Minho as I saw him hitting the send button.

Then their phones beeped. You.did.not.

I jumped again and successfully got my phone from him. I sat down in embarrassment as I saw my picture. The guys continued to laugh as they saw what they have received.

“Argh! I hate you guys!” I said as I glared at them, though no one’s really looking at me.

“No you don’t! Haha!” Onew said as he tickled my sides.

“Waaah! Stop it! Hahahahaha!” I protested as fell on the floor. I really can’t stand tickles! xD

“Stop it! Hahahaha! I can’t breathe! Stoooop!” I said as I completely lay on the floor and start kicking and pushing everywhere.

The guys continued to laugh from the couch as Onew continued to tickle me.

“Yah! Stop it!” I said in between laughs as Taemin joined the tickling game. I’ll kill you two later! >:|

“Ow!” Onew said as he rolled in the ground holding his knee. Apparently, I kicked him. Serves you right!

Everyone was shocked at first, but we laughed at how funny he looked. We rushed to his side to ask if he’s fine, and we realized he’s just overreacting! :P

A knock on the door was heard and it made us look at that direction. A guy waiter entered the room with lots of drinks in his tray.

“Please take the empty bottles away too, thanks!” Minho said to the waiter.

It made me look at the table and realized that there were already a lot of empty bottles.

“Oh those bottles are yours?” I asked Minho.

“Uhh..yeah..we had a few a while ago. Hehe” He answered shyly.

A few? Those are a lot…Tss..these guys..

We sat on the couch as the table was cleared and replaced with new drinks.

Minho offered me a beer but I refused with a smile.

“I don’t drink beer.” I said.

“Ah, yeah. I forgot you don’t like its taste. So, what do you like to drink?” He asked.

But before I could ask for a menu, a bottle appeared in front of my face.

“Try this, you’ll like it!” Taemin said excitedly, holding the bottle a few inches away from my face.

I grabbed the bottle and looked at its label. It’s an apple flavoured vodka.

“Thanks!” I smiled at him. And because of the better lights in this room, I’ve got a better look at his face. It’s clear that he already had lots of drinks. His face is red and his eyes are a bit sleepy.

I put the vodka in a glass full of ice before I had a sip. It reminds me of my favourite drink at home, but this is stronger.

“So…how are you? It’s been a while! How did Kibum dragg you here?” Jjong asked as he sits on my left side.

I chuckled a bit before answering.

“Well…Kibum here asked me to help him with something earlier. I just ended up going here.” I said and looked at Key who sighed in relief when I didn’t reveal his secret reason.

“What kind of help?” Onew asked and Key suddenly had a look of panic.

“It’s just between the two of us.” I said looking at Key with a smile.

“Ooooh~ What did you two do? Haha!” Minho asked playfully.

I threw an ice on him and we all laughed at his reaction.

We continued to talked and laughed about random stuff, just like how we used to. It’s nice to be here. :)

Just as we were laughing hard about a joke Jjong told, I noticed that Taemin’s about to get his 3^rd bottle of beer from the table. I stopped him from opening it.

“How much have you already had?” I asked worriedly.

“ooh~” I heard the guys said, with some murmurs that I wasn’t able to get.

“Not much…Don’t worry! I can handle myself.” He said calmly with a smile, but I still push the drinks away from him.

“You’re drinking too much. I haven’t even finished my first bottle and you’re already on your third!”

I heard the guys laughed but I just ignored it.

“I told you I can handle it. I’m not a kid you know!” He said, a hint of irritation can be heard in his tone. He pulled the bottle closer to him but I held it in place.

“Are you raising your tone on me?!” I said, a bit louder than what I planned to. I pull the bottle to my side.

We continued to tug on the bottle as we argue.

“What? No! Why are you acting like this?!”

“See! You’re getting angry because you’ve drank so much!”

 “Why are you acting like you care so much?! It’s not like you’re my mother or my girlfriend!” Out of shock, I let go of my hold on the bottle and it flew out of the table. The bottle didn’t break into pieces, thanks to the carpeted floor in the room. And it just adds up to the awkwardness of the silence.

I looked away to cut off our staring situation, and just then I noticed that we’re the only ones in the room. I didn’t even notice when they left.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to--” He started, but I cut him off.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say sorry. You’re right…” I said softly, staring blankly away.

Then there was silence again.

He’s right. I don’t have the right to tell him what he can’t do. I’m not that significant in his life anymore.

I heard him groan in frustration and it made me look at him. He’s looking down in his feet, messing up his hair with one of his hands. I just stared at him. I wanted to comfort him and ask him what’s wrong. But I stopped myself as I thought of what he said earlier.

He suddenly sat straight and looked at me straight in the eye. I leaned back in shock but I still have my eyes fixed on him. We were staring at each other for a while until he broke it as he sighed and looked down again.

“You know, I’ve been thinking ever since you left… What have I done wrong? Am I a bad person? …I have a lot of questions in mind. Then, every time we would see each other and you would just walk away like we don’t know each other, like nothing happened …it really hurts my heart and made me doubt myself more. But there’s something I have confirmed recently. I’m a bad person and it’s my fault that you left me.” He said, looking at me sadly as he said the last sentence.

I was left speechless. I wanted to cry as I imagine how he has felt during those times. I realized, I was not the only one suffering from the hurt during those times.

He continued as he hold my hand and look into my eyes.

“The hyungs knocked out some sense in me one night. They got angry at me for getting myself in this situation and for hurting a person we truly cared for.” He chuckled a bit. “I felt stupid as I think through what I have done the past few months.”

I just kept silent as I listened to every word he says.

“Maybe I just really got excited as it was a new experience to me. We never really had the chance to go out and have fun with other people with our schedule, you know that. That’s really our problem during the times we were together, right? And so when I got to know someone new, I got really excited and happy about it. It’s almost like the feeling I had when I got to met you.” He smiled.

At first I got confused as to what he was saying. But then I realized it was about his onscreen marriage. Is he gonna tell me everything about it?

“Then we got the chance to meet regularly. Twice every month, and it was full of exciting events every time. During the first few meetings I was always thinking about you and how I would like to be with you on a regular schedule, like how we were. But as we got to know each other better, I realized that I’m enjoying my time with her, and that I’m not treating it as a mere work. And that’s when I realized that I’ve become a bad person. A really bad person…I hated myself for that.”

I can feel my tears building up in the rim of my eyes as I heard that. It’s like cold water was just splashed on me. I feel weak and helpless. I want to know more, everything, but I doubt myself if I can handle it.

And when I tear escaped my eye, I just quickly wiped it off. I pretended to be fine and controlled my breathing. I saw Taemin doubt for a while if he’s going to continue upon seeing me cry. I just nodded to signal him that I’m fine and that he has to continue.

“When you stayed at our dorm, I was really happy and that’s real! I actually felt like we’ve been married and we’re living there alone. Haha! Though it was just for a short time and we rarely see you because of our activity, I was really happy being with you. It’s just that, when I’m with her, I also feel the same. That I’m happy and I feel that it’s real. It’s what I hate most about myself. As Key hyung said, I think I was selfish.” His voice shakes at the end, that’s when I realized that he’s preventing himself from crying.

“As much as I want to stop myself from feeling that way, I just can’t. I tried to think if I…if I was really beginning to fall in love with her. But I can’t find the answer as our relationship flash through my mind… I can’t let go of what we have... And so I just continued to enjoy what she and I have, as well as what we have.”

Hello everyone! :)

Enjoy the chapter! :)

I would like to say sorry in advance as I would not be able to update for a long time.

This is a bit of a crucial time for my studies so I would like to focus on it more.

Wish me luck hehe :)

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Also, let us all pray for the Filipinos who were badly affected by the recent typhoon (Haiyan/Yolanda).

It was a very tragic event. Hope they can all stay safe and strong in this situation.

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Thank you for your support and comments :) Hope you'll wait and stay with me 'til the next chapters hehe

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