** Hope your ready for the angst **

[Hyukjae POV]

"I have to do something that's going to affect all of Super Junior. . . ." I say, receiving a worried look from Sungmin.

"What's wrong and how bad is it? Sungmin asked, looking very afraid to hear the news.

I avoided answering the question, "I need your help to make the right decision, Sungmin Hyung. I'm going crazy." I say with a heavy heart. 

Sungmin's eyes go wide. "Ok Hyukjae, you're scaring me. WHAT'S WRONG?!" he asks again, panic in his voice.

I sigh slowly. "I'll just start by saying this, you know I love all you guys. In fact, my life wouldn't be what it is without you all. . . But," I hesitate, ". . .I think I may have to leave Super Junior." I finish, hanging my head down.I really don't want to see how Minnie's looking at me.

"WHAT??!!!" Sungmin shouts. "Sorry, but am I hearing you right? WHY?! Why all of a sudden?!"

"Donghae! H-he's in a lot of trouble!" I quickly say, scared because I think Hyung's going to hit me. "He's in trouble and it's all because of me and I'm scared of what I would have to do to fix it, so instead I'm leaving!" I blabber as I start to cry. "I don't want him to be hurt because of me, I don't want him to live with pain because of me, or be shunned because of me!"

I tell him everything that's going on inside me, about the whole situation. I think I talked for about an hour, even though it could have been just a few minutes because I stutter so much and blabber uselessly about certain things.

"S-So what do you think I should d-do"? I finally ask Sungmin after I finished pouring out all of my feelings and thoughts. I sniffle loudly, waiting for a response.

"For one, don't leave the group. Don't ever think about leaving the group. You're much too valuable to us to ever let you walk out that door," he rubs my shoulder then continues, "So we're going to come up with another solution." He said reassuringly.

"The only other choice for me is worse then leaving could ever be!" I cry. "It's going to affect Donghae and I don't think I can do it. My heart's not stong enough."

I put my head on Sungmin hyung's lap and cried until the wrench stopped twisting at my heart. About 10 minutes later, I finally fall asleep and step into dreamland.

I thank God that I can't feel that wrench anymore.

[Sungmin POV]

I seriously can't believe what's going on inside of Hyukjae's head. But after hearing everything he had to say, I kind of think he's right.

Poor boys.

I can't help but question: Why does life have to be so stressful to live? Especially for the two of them? Aish!

I take in a long, deep breath before I gently move Eunhyuk's head from my lap and lay it on his pillow. I rise from the bed, kiss him on the forehead, and head to the door. I'm almost gone when I suddenly hear him whisper loud enough for me to hear,

"Thanks for listening, I knew I could count on you. I love you Sungmin hyung."

I smile, turn to him and reply, "Don't mention it. And I love you too. . .Now go back to sleep, Hyukjae. Tomorrow is going to be a very stressful day and you can't afford to get sick again. So please, please get a lot of rest before you talk to Donghae. I just don't want to see you hurting so much."

"Okay." He says to me. As I close the door I hear him sniffle one last time. I now notice that I must have woken him up when I laid his head on the pillow. . .

Oh, now I wanted to cry! But, for my best friend, I had to keep a straght face. He honestly didn't need anymore grief. Ohh, but it's hard. . So, very hard.

I need my Kyuhunnie right now.

I purposely turned my back a certain way when I had left the room. Stay strong! I tell myself. I can't let the others see me on the verge of crying.

My members look at me curiously as I turn my face toward them, and they gather around.

"What was that all about?!" I'm asked.

"What did he want to see you for??". The last question was asked by Donghae. I couldn't even look at him because I was afraid that the look on my face would tell him that something's not right. So all I could bring myself to say was,

"Nothing much, really. And anyway, you will all find out tomorrow." I try to finish my sentence with a smile. I hear Donghae say to himself mostly that it must not be good news.

I wanted to cry again as we all left to go home. I think. . . No, I KNOW tomorrow is going to be hell. . .

************************************

Donghae layed in Hyukjae's bed with a tiny smile upon his face, having a nice and peaceful sleep.

Well. . . it started out peacefully.

[Donghae POV]

"Hyukkie? What's wrong, why are you not moving? . . . .  Baby, can you hear me? Talk to me!"

I see his mouth moving, but I can't hear him.

"Honey, I can't hear you. Say it again?!" Dammit why can't I hear him? I slowly feel myself start to panic.

"Hyukkie, Baby, I can't hear you! Please speak up. Talk louder!"  I yell.

All of a sudden he pops up  right in front of me and almost scared the monkey out of me. "Oh my Lord, Don't be doing that! You scared me. . . Now what did you say?" I ask him with a relieved smile.

Hyukjae opens his mouth to speak. "Donghae. Baby I---"

NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I stretch my arm out, grabbing at the air.

He faded away, he left me here, alone, and just faded away. . . Gone.

"NO! HYUKKIE! HYUKKIE, COME BAAACK!!!!"

I snap my eyes open, now wide awake, looking around. Sweat is pouring from my forehead and my heart's beating wildly.

It was only a dream. Just a dream. Thank God it was only a dream.

I lay my head back down on my Hyukkie's pillow, taking in his sweet strawberry scent. I suddenly felt so uneasy, but why? Last night I told Teukkie Hyung that I was going to sleep in mine and Hyukkie's bed, Wait I mean Hyukkies bed, because I was happy and I get to see my monkey today. He simply told me okay and then he went to bed.

Now I wish I hadn't said I would sleep here. I sincerely miss the warmth of another body--Hyukkies body.

With a sigh I try my hardest to go back to sleep, but now, everytime I close my eyes, I see a shrinking Hyukkie. He keeps fading away from me. Somehow, I finally managed fall asleep.

I wake up a while later, super excited to see my monkey. But somewhere inside, I still feel a little uneasy.

I rush aroud the house: Take a shower, brush my teeth, grab a bite to eat, and scream at everyone to, "GET THE HECK UP, IT'S TIME TO GO!!". . . . .Back to this dreadful place again. . . I think.

But, as long as I get to see Hyukkie, I'm happy.

I do the same routine that I have been doing for two days. I dash through the hospital straight to my baby's room. I'm so happy that I realize I'm smiling like an idiot. . . . Until I burst through the door and see my baby sitting up in bed, looking at me with the saddest face a person could ever have.

In that second, My heart stopped beating.

[Hyukjae POV]

Donghae comes bursting through my hospital door, practically falling and smiling broadly. 

Then I saw him about to say, "Hi Hyukkie!" like he usually does. . .

But this time, the smile went away when he saw my face. . . .

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Don't everyone get mad at me all at the same time... T-T   I warned you all.LOL

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