The screams outside of the building were wild and enough to give anyone a headache. Cameras were flashing and questions were being yelled through the glass in an attempt to reach the boys inside. It was purely chaotic out there, and it was all because Donghae had uttered the phrase that so many have wanted to hear for such a long time.

[Donghae PoV]

I could see Hyukjae shaking his head, pleading with me to be quiet. He's trying to tell me to say no more, not to do something like this. Not again.

But my heart wouldn’t let me, and I continued to withdraw and reveal all of the feelings I've held inside for so long to everyone that could possibly hear.

“I knew he was the one from the start. I've never really loved before, but when I first met him, Love drew me in like a fishing reel. I couldn't get enough of his charm, his beautiful face. . ." I look at Hyukjae and can feel the panic rising up in him. It shows evidently in his face.

"I’m sorry, Hyuk.“ I say, as I finished with a bit of what I had to say while everybody was trying ugently to shut me up. But I was determined to tell the world and I didn’t care about the consequences anymore!

"No, Donghae. What are you doing?!" Leeteuk asked in a quiet, but loud enough voice for me to hear. I looked at his panicked face and my mouth twitched in a small, apologetic smile as I continued once again toward the cameras and fans outside.

“But I also want to point out that all the damn fan service we had to do didn’t make it any easier for me. We had to kiss each other, we had to touch each other to make everyone happy and disregard every bit of feelings we may have had about the subject. . .  Do you know how hard it was to keep my feelings dormant? Does anyone care about how scared I was that I was falling even deeper in love with my best friend? Does anyone care about how scared I was to be rejected by him if I'd ever gotten the courage to confess? How jealous I got when he had to do fan service with the other members, or other people outside of the group even?!”

I pause briefly to catch my breath, and at the same time Hyukjae finally seems to snap out of the trance I'd put him in with my words earlier. He had tears in his eyes, no doubt thinking about all of the things I had just spoken and revealed about myself.

"Donghae, be quiet. Why are you doing this?" he screams at me, causing a gasp to escape from the crowd outside. Kangin hyung makes his way over to me and sets his hand on my shoulder, whispering to me to calm down, apologize, and sit quietly while we try to fix everything.

And I just thought, Fix everything? What else is there to fix? . . .  That's what I'm doing now. Molding together the string that ties our hearts into one.

Again, I watch as Hyukjae shakes his head at me. But no, I can't stop. I just had so many things going on inside of me that, if I didn't let it all out now, I'm pretty sure I'd be the next one in the hospital, fighting to survive the everyday stress of our lives.

I shake off Kangin hyung's hand and continue, “The funny thinking is, the two of us and so many more are pushed together constantly, but aren't aloud to love one another. . . And I didn’t think I could love him more than I had when we first met. But as the years went by, all I could do was think of Hyukjae." I laugh bitterly and went on, "I wanted his attention every second of our lives; when I had to leave for filming, or he had to leave for his musical. All I could think of was him. . ."

I was expecting to hear someone jump up quickly and once again protest against me saying another word on the topic. But all I could hear were the fans outside, screaming like their heads were being chopped off by all of the information they were getting from me. The members were seated, dazed and dumbfounded at my sudden change in character.

I pitied their looks, feeling sorry for causing yet another uproar. I then decided to close my unexpected speech.

"So, there you have it everyone. . .  I truly, very truly love Lee HyukJae, my best friend. . . . Always have. And always will.”

After saying this, I look at all of my silent members. I bow to them, and tell them that I’m very sorry, and that I just had to let my feelings free or eventually my heart would bust in my chest. They simply nod distractedly.

I look to the camera and say sorry to our beloved fans, ELF--those who were not currently standing outside of the glass wall, but staring dumbstruck at the television screen in their houses, hardly believing the words I had said today.

And lastly, I look at my Hyukkie, who has tears in his eyes and is too surprised to say anything to me as I look at him. I stare lovingly into his face and question what I see there. His eyes hold volumes within their depths: Betrayal by the words I said in public? Annoyance? or was it Admiration? and Adoration? I hoped desperately it was the latter.

But how could I be so sure?

Whereas I was happy this morning and those two weeks ago, quite convinced that the man before me still loved me as much as I do. Looking at him now. . .  I miserably think I miscalculated.

Finally, I speak to him, “Hyukkie, I am so, so sorry. I know you don't. . don’t love me. And I know I don’t deserve your, Love. But could you please forgive me for ruining your life? I won't be able to live with myself knowing I did. Especially after today.” I sighed and couldn't look at him anymore. I didn't want to see the pain I no doubt caused.

I turned with my head down and I sat back down in the seat I'd left. I put my head backwards and sigh out the rest of my frustrations as I rest my arm over my face. Aside from the dying down screams from outside, it is pretty darn silent inside of the studio.

I don't say anything and wait for some kind of a conversation to strike up before I'll attempt to lift my head to the world again. But I don't hear a conversation. All I hear is one whispered word.

"Hae. . . " And I knew who it came from. I immediately lifted my head to wait for the rest of the sentence, but it never came. The next thing I knew, his chair flipped and he fell to the floor, caught quickly by Teukkie hyung and set down carefully. My eyes widened in horror as Hyukkie, MY HYUKKIE, wriggled in pain, eyes shut tight, and both hands clutching his heart.

OH GOD. Please No, not again. Not again!  . . . It's my fault. How could I? WHAT HAVE I DONE?!?!

Screams so much louder than before filled the studio as fans began to cry out Hyukjae's name, panicking about the situation, no doubt going through deja vu. I could only look. .  stare at the situation. I swear I couldn't move my body as my eyes swelled with tears that spilled over once I heard, so very loud and clear,

"DONGHAE OPPA CAUSED THIS! . . .  EUNHYUK OPPAAAA!" I felt like vomiting. I felt helpless. I felt worthless.

My lack of movement didn't affect the members as they, the entire crew, the PD, and even that damned MC run over to Hyukjae's side, screaming his name. Gently tapping and shaking him, trying to keep him conscious as he was still wriggling in pain, fortunately different from the time before.

Sungmin stands apart from the rest, pacing back and forth and whispering repeatedly, “This can't be happening. Not again, not again, not again. . . . ”

[HyukJae POV]

I stared at Donghae, wide eyed, teary, and surprised. I thought he was still mad at me. What the heck is he doing? I thought at first, then I felt so glad that he really did still love me even after everything I've put him through in the past few weeks. I know for sure that his love runs really deep for me. But I can't smile back at him, I can't react to his words the way I want to.

He thinks I don't love him. . .  My heart aches severely just thinking of this.

Suddenly, I felt I had to do something to calm the situation some as my eyes follow him to his seat and he sighs, depressed by my lack of action and response.

I get up, ready to respond to my Hae's words, and even possibly make a scene. . . But I could only get out a small, "Hae. . .," when I felt what seemed like a ballon pop painfully in my chest. Any breath I had inside left me. I felt my knees buckle, and myself going down. Luckly Teukie Hyung was behind me and caught me before I hit the ground, like my chair had.

“Hyuk, are you alright?!” I hear him ask me in a partial yell turned whisper. For a while I couldn't answer him. I just squirmed in pain, clutching the popped balloon in my chest. It hurt like hell. But after a bit more wriggles and a long, shaky breath, I managed to reply to him.

“Please. . .  forgive me for. .  being so weak.” I whisper into his ear. Teukkie hyung then helps me up and quickly apologizes to the scared fans and everyone inside the studio before becoming my support and taking me out of the studio doors.

Even though I'm outside the doors, I can hear Kangin hyung telling everyone that I am okay and that I may need a little time to rest.

They will not postpone the interview like they did one of our most important concerts. They didn't want to give the media another chance to make things even worse than it was already, and I could understand that. I silently cursed myself for collasping at such an extreme moment.

Immediately, my mind lost track of where I was and I began to worry for Donghae's sake. I know that the media is going to make a big deal out of this. . .  and the fans are going to be pissed.

Teukkie Hyung took me far enough away from the chaos that was going on in the studio so that I wouldn't be even more overwhelmed by the situation on the other side. Before he left, he made sure managers were at my every beckon and call, he handed me a bottle of water, and kissed me gently on the forehead once. "I'll be right back." he said, and went back to the others.

I carelessly let my mind wander a bit more, and within 10 to 15 minutes, I was swarmed by all of my friends. Asking me if I was okay, and checking to see for themselves. Ryeowook took my hand and sat by my side, looking at me worriedly.

I chuckle a little, looking around at everyone, "I'm fine you guys, don't worry too much. I just needed a little bit of rest." But my statement didn't even matter in the least.

"We need to call the paramedics and have you checked up! You can never be too sure, Hyuk!" Yesung exclaimed loudly while everyone nodded in agreement. I sighed with a content smile.

But then, I suddenly start to have this empty feeling in my stomach. That's when I looked around and noticed Donghae was nowhere near us. He stood very far away in the back of the gathering, looking at me with a sorry face. When I looked up at him, he avoided my gaze. It hurt a little, but I know it shouldn't have.

“Donghae, come here.” I say in a low voice. He hesitates for a second, then decides to do what I said. Immediately he begins to blurt out words.

The members seeing that I wanted to talk to Hae alone left for us to talk in peace.

"Hyukkie, Oh, Uh, Hyukjae. .  I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you again, I didn't know this would happen! . . . No wonder you said I ruined your life. . .  That’s all I keep doing.” His eyes never met mine and his head stayed down. I pulled him down to kneel beside me and my fingers found his chin. I gently turned his head so his eyes could meet mine.

“First, please stop calling me Hyukjae now. It hurts when you don't call me Hyukkie. Also, Don’t ever say you’re sorry for speaking with your heart. If you couldn't do that, then you wouldn't have what it takes to feel properly, to love and care like you do. If I wasn’t such a coward I wouldn’t be in the condition I’m in now."  I paused to stare into his eyes for a moment before I continued.

"I’m the one that’s truly sorry for saying the things I said to you at the hospital. I'm sorry for saying those things and throwing things in the bedroom. I didn’t think you were going through that much pain. . . . I thought you were going to be okay after I made you mad enough to hate me. . ."

At this time, Donghae took my hand from his chin and held it firmly in his own.

“I could never hate you.” He told me in a matter-of-fact voice. He paused and began to absently play with my fingers, head down again. “Hyukkie, can I ask you something?” His voice was very small and shy.

“Ask me anything.”

“Did you really mean it when you said that I had ruined your life? I know you just told me you were sorry for saying such things, but. . . . It really broke my heart to hear you say something so hurtful. . .” His head came back up as he looked at me with pleading eyes.

“Donghae. . . You could never do anything to me that would make me feel that you’ve ruined my life. I'm sorry for being such a jerk, saying anything that I knew would hurt you. I felt like I had to. I'm so sorry. I was so stupid.”

“So. . . You really do love me then?” He still sounded afraid of my answer.

“Baby, I never stopped loving you, and I’m sorry for telling you I didn’t. You will always mean the world to me. I love you my little fishy.” He smiled at me, tears filling his eyes once again.

"I love you too, Hyukkie."

"Oh, and Donghae?"

"Mmm?" He hummed.

"Don't ever think you don't deserve me. You deserve every bit of me,

It's me who doesn't deserve you."

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Well everyone here is my next chapter, sorry again for taking so long. *please don't hurt me* TT_TT

I really didn't want to leave you with a cliffhanger this time, I really hope you enjoy . :D

Thanks for reading. 

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