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Yoona watched how the smoke became darker and stretched wider and listened to the load sound from the fire detector. The oven couldn't even be seen anymore and hysterically trying to figure out what to do, Yoona held her forefinger under the water tap. It hurt, just like her eyes hurt from the warmth and her lungs from the fumes.

It was a disaster and she was partly glad that she couldn't see how the kitchen looked like. She'd probably ruined everything. The crying had been going on for the last fifteen minutes but she'd been on the edge for the past hour. Yoona had managed to destroy most of the food, burning it all, setting fire on the steak and forgetting about the recipe. Which resulted in a total chaos.

Wrapping a towel around her throbbing hand Yoona hurried to the phone, she knew that the whole apartment would be damaged if she didn't do anything soon.

"Yoona, how's it going?" Tiffany joyfully said in the phone, having no idea of what was going on a few kilometres away.

Despite her crying Yoona managed to explain the situation, how the dinner was ruined, the kitchen on fire and Taecyeon coming home in an hour. The whole time it was quiet in the phone. "And I don't know what to do." she finished, devastated. "Taecyeon can't come home to this."

Tiffany breathed and tried to take control of the situation. "Okay, Yoong. Calm down. Now, is the fire quenched?"

"Yes. I think so."

"And the oven's turned off?"

Yoona swallowed. "Yeah."

"Listen, I'll be right over. And I'll call Nickhun to make sure that Taecyeon won't be home for a while. Okay?"

"Okay. Thanks Tiff."

"See you soon."

After putting the phone down Yoona took a deep breath, help was on the way. She would fix this, Taecyeon would not walk home to meet a kitchen looking like a big oven with the only thing left piles of ash.

She had planned on doing a nice dinner for him, making him relax after the accident and showing him how much he meant to her. She should have known though that she couldn't make anything on her own.

Fifteen minutes later Tiffany barged into the apartment, finding Yoona in the smoke filled kitchen. "Yoona!"

"The good news is that the smoke is starting to fade. The bad news, dinner is ruined and the whole room is a mess. Oh, and the smell." Yoona offered her friend a smile despite the panic welling up inside of her. It felt better not being alone with this mess, but only God knew how embarrassed she was.

Tiffany flung her arms around Yoona, hugging her tightly. "Sweetie, I'm so glad that you're okay." As they pulled apart Tiffany eyed the room. "It looks really bad in here."

The brunette bit her lip. "Yeah. Want to help me figure out what to do?"

Tiffany gave her a long hug, again, as to try and make things look better. "I made sure that Taecyeon's gonna be away for a while. We'll clean this up."

"Where do we start?" Yoona sighed.

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An hour later the two girls sunk down into two kitchen chairs, exhausted from all the cleaning. They sat there silent for a few minutes. "Are you still up for Wednesday Yoong? I mean, after everything."

Yoona tilted her head to look at the other person sitting next to her; she seemed nervous. "Of course Tiff. I won't let you go alone."

Tiffany forced a smile and shrugged. "Thanks. It's probably nothing but still…"

"We'll find out whatever it is on Wednesday. It'll be okay." Placing a hand on top of her friend's, Yoona felt a little better. Maybe everything would work out.

Suddenly though, the front door opened and immediately caused Yoona to tense up. Taecyeon was home, already. Things would not be okay now.

He walked through the foyer without either of them being able to stop him, he seemed to be very curious of what was going on. "Hey, guys." He smiled and walked in the direction of Yoona when a frown appeared on his forehead. "What's that smell?" There was no way that anyone would have made up a good explanation to that, the smell was too exposing.

Yoona felt as if she'd die right there. Fall to the floor and prevent to ever look into his eyes again. The panic welled in her and she could portray how her eyes had filled with tears. "Um…"

"Has there been a fire or something?" Taecyeon laughed without noticing Yoona's terrified face and walked straight to the kitchen. Tiffany first tried to stop him but with the realisation that it was his home and his kitchen she lowered her hand and sunk down in an arm chair. Yoona quickly made an exit, fleeing away from him and the huge embarrassment.

"She was making dinner for you, Taec." Tiffany sadly said as Taecyeon came back from the kitchen, a shocked expression on his face.

"Oh." Taecyeon understood. He stood there for a moment, probably letting it all sink in. "Will you excuse me?"

The girl nodded. "Sure, I'll continue with the cleaning." He gave her a thankful look and left the room, in search for Yoona who'd run in the direction of the bedroom.

"Yoong?" Taecyeon cursed to himself as he found the locked master bathroom door. Placing his ear against the brown smooth surface, again checking the handle, Taecyeon heard nothing. Silence was all that met his ear. Sighing, he walked back to the bed and sat down, hoping for the best, that she would open the door.

He still had no idea of exactly what had happened, he hadn't waited for Tiffany to explain. But he could pretty much put two and two together, the unexpected call from Hwang Tiffany saying that he couldn't come home for a while and Yoona's promise to cook for him was all pretty convincing. He'd actually expected to come home to a loving welcome with dinner set for two. But now he understood that all Tiffany had wanted was to buy some time, some time for Yoona to calm down and them to clean up. Which probably had been more difficult than they'd thought. How else could the kitchen look like it did?

She better come out from there soon.

As five minutes passed, with no sound, Taecyeon started to freak out. What was she doing in there? Maybe this whole giving her space and letting her come to him didn't work that well. Maybe he should go check, just to see that she was alright. He wasn't mad or anything, about the kitchen. Was she afraid that he'd be mad? He couldn't, Taecyeon could never be mad at Yoona. He didn't care about the kitchen. You could always redecorate it. He was happy and relieved that Yoona wasn't hurt, because you could not replace her.

Please come out. Come out and sit next to me, let me tell you that it's alright.

His foot shook impatiently, his fingers getting all sweaty. She shouldn't be scared of him, or hide. Not that he knew that she was, maybe she was taking a shower or something. Her hair probably smelled like smoke. But no, there was no sound, no shower. And she couldn't be doing anything else in there but hide. Why did he worry so much about her? All the time. She was probably fine.

Oh, it.

Taecyeon carefully knocked. She didn't open, nor tell him to walk away. There was just nothing. The same silence and the same pain in his stomach. "Yoona?" he swallowed, silently begging for her to reply. "Please open the door, Yoong."

After a few seconds, a click was heard, and Taecyeon opened the door. Yoona stood by the sink, looking at the floor. No traces of tears were seen and no evidence of her having done anything else but stood just like she stood now by the sink. Her silence and distant eyes said enough though, she was not alright.

Let me hold you and make you okay. Let me know that you'll be fine.

There were no words uttered. Taecyeon walked closer to her and pulled her limb body into his chest, pushing her head under his chin and forcing her arms to go around him. She was like an unconscious body though, just falling against him, her hair covering her face. Taecyeon it away with his healthy hand and if he could, he would have lifted her up into his arms. His arm was broken, but he desperately wished that it wasn't.

He pulled her with him out of the bathroom, into their bedroom where he sat them down on the bed. Yoona sat up, close to him and pulled her thick hair behind her ears. Then she sighed and placed her hands in her lap.

"Let me in." he said almost in a whisper.

And that was, apparently, all it took for Yoona to break. First, her shoulders began to tremble and her hands went to cover her face. Then she breathed out a muffled sob in her tiny hands, followed by another. "I hate it." she cried and fell backwards onto the bed. She rolled around to her stomach and buried her head in the comforter.

"What do you hate?"

Her voice was so low that he had to concentrate to hear what she said and when she said it he almost wished that he hadn't heard. "Me." That word caused tears to form in his eyes, almost spilling over. He wanted to take it away, and make her the happiest person on this earth. God knew that she deserved it.

She abruptly sat up, her face red and glossy from the crying. "I hate everything!" This time her voice was loud, screaming and desperate. "I ing hate myself! How come I can't be happy? How come every time I tend to think I'm actually happy something happens?"

Taecyeon watched her, devastated, as she paused to let the hiccups out. She cried heavier than he'd ever seen her cry before. And it was awful.

"I can't…" she sobbed, "I can't do this anymore, Taecyeon."

Horror filled Taecyeon's face as she finished. She could not mean what he thought she was. She couldn't. He shook his head and felt how a tear rolled down his cheek. "Don't talk like that."

Sniffling and wiping her nose with the sleeve of her shirt, Yoona continued to sob. "I'm sorry, Taecyeon. But it's too hard. I'm not strong enough for life. It's slowly killing me."

"You don't know what you're saying. I love you! You can't talk like this, Yoona."

"Maybe you weren't supposed to stop me that night. It would have been better for both of us if I'd ended it."

"Stop! Yoona, I love you." Taecyeon was crying now, huge sobs racking his body.

In a look of desperation Yoona pulled a hand through her hair. "I hate that I hurt you. I always hurt you. But I don't want to. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I don't want you to cry."

"Then stop saying that you want to die. Say that you want to live and be with me!"

"I do! I want to, but I can't. I want to, so bad."

"So stop thinking like that Yoong."

"I can't! Please, I can't." She started to get up, hysterically crying and almost screaming out in frustration. Taecyeon pulled her down though, grabbing her waist and forcing her to lie down next to him. He cried into her hair, tightly holding her against him and hugging her shaking body. "Taec." she breathed out and gripped his shirt, wanting him to hold her closer than anyone possibly could. She wanted him to take it all away with his love, to let her inner demons die out of love.

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KEEP THE FAITH!