Jay Park's pov

Gosh!!! All of the crazy fans are like crowding around me!! How the hell am I suppossed to get out of this freaking gigantic crowd? They are like all pouncing on me while I am trying to struggle my way out!! Out of a sudden, a very weird looking fan which seems kinda familiar to me came forward and without any warning, she just grab me and help get out of that suffocating place.

"You're wasting time dude!! She is going off soon! We have to hurry!!" a familiar voice

Ok, that must be Chaerin. We run at full speed. My heart in a racing state with my anxiety level rising up in me. I'm still praying hard. I almost bumped into most people that was blocking my way. I tried to run like the wind, running up the escalator and making sure my eyes didn't miss any area of the airport. I am reaching the depaturing area when I saw Taecyeon and Nichkhun sauntering away from the huge glass where people said their final goodbyes.

"YAH! WHERE IS SHE? HER FLIGHT HASN'T DEPARUTRE YET RIGHT?!!" I asked with full of high hopes

"The flight to Los Angelas is departuring now," informed the announcement

"Does that answer to your question? Just forget it, you're too late," Nichkhun told me in a disaapointing way

No more words spit out from their mouth and while they are walking pass me, Taecyeon slammed a medium square box on my chest. I grab hold of it before it were to fell of. I was expecting Taecyeon to speak something, but nothing came out from his mouth except for his angry expression. In the end, I watched the two of them leave without even asking me along.

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"That's from her. She spent the whole entire night yesterday filmming this for you. I'm sorry for not making it on time but, please watch it. You'll understand better," Chaerin told me and leave me alone

Out of a sudden, someone just sudden grab my shoulder and it turns out to be my manager. He is like scolding the out of me for not telling him that I'm going to the airport causing all of my fans to crowd all around us, trying to get as closer to me as possible. While they are like pushing and shoving each other, I'm just standing there like a motionless statue. I kept focusing at box in my grip.

"MOVE!! OUT OF THE WAY!! MOVE I SAID!!!!" ordered a few of the bodyguards

Once there is space for me to pass through, my manager drag me away from the crowd and manage to get safely in his car. I'm still speechless and despondent. Even though my manager was nagging and giving me some repeating advice again, I didn't focus a single thing that he said to me. I guess he gets fed up with me being mute that he decided to send me back home and give me a few days off to clear what's on my mind before coming back to work. A few minutes later, I reach and I thanked him physically by bowing. I sauntered drastically inside my house with full of despair and regret. I just threw my coat on the leather sofa and take a sit on the arm chair. Peatry came nudging his head towards my feet. I let out a weak smile and rub his head continuously.

"Thanks for welcoming me home buddy," I thanked him when he lay down beside the arm chair

Then my vision gets back to the box Taecyeon handed to me. Peatry stretch itself putting it's front paws on my knees to check out whats inside. I open the box and saw a CD and the star bracelet.I remembered what Chaerin told me earlier so instead of being a hard headed jerk, I watched the CD. In a split second, Sasha's face appeared showing that she was adjusting the camera. Peatry barked happily wagging it's tail while I try to concentrate. A small smile appeared on my face for no reason.

"Hey Jay!" she greeted cheerfully, as if like nothing bad really happened

SONG RECOMMENDED: EYES, NOSE, LIPS by Taeyang

[VIDEO STARTS]

"Errmm... alright this is really awkward but I still have to tell you. Planning to wait for the right timing, however my plan doesn't seem to go that smoothly. I really have many things to say to you, all the reasons, all my feelings towards you (eyes tend to get watery), all the lies and being fake all this while...tsk...(crying but trying to control by wiping off the tears and force to smile)...Anyways, I hope I could summarise all that in one go.

You're still mad aren't you? You may think that Dara is a but I am much more worst than her. I think just by saying sorry doesn't really had a great impact on you becuase it's just a word that could be forgotten and could make history repeats itself. I don't know what other words to say apart from that so I''ll explain everything to you. I'm the cause of it. All of this started when I tend to show my jealousy whenever I saw you and Dara together in school. I don't know why but I felt so insecure day by day since you're not the same class as me. I have no idea why Dara hated me so much that she always hurt my feelings by being closer to you. Whenever I'm about to approach you she is always there to prevent it. Nichkhun monitors my reaction and bring this matter out. Since I have no one to let out my feelings to, I let it out to him.

He helped me by being my fake boyfriend just to test how you would feel and till now, I still don't know the answer yet. Then, nothing seems to work out and I'm so stressed and depressed about it that I decided to go on a trip to Jeju Island with a friend. That's when the accident happened. The fact was, my friend thought I was dead but I'm actually alive. My face was disfigured....tsk....I could still remember the excruciating pain that I had been through. I was being sent to LA for a face surgery and I purposely told the doctor myself to inform you guys that I'm dead because I don't want to be a burden to all of you and I can't bear to show my suffering moments to you guys. I cried every night for having a wrecked face thinking that I would be ugly forever. Every single day was like a nightmare to me back there. I thought I won't be able to see my friends and family again, especially you. (crying)

I waited and endured for 2 years to get a normal face back...tsk....tsk...do you know how long it feels like? I'm so blessed and I will never forget that feeling. The feeling of being reborn. While I was in LA, I was under the care of a doctor and my friend who gave me lots of strength and motivations to continue on in life. That's the moment when I thought I have to be strong and brave so I planned to come back to Seoul to get my revenge back on what Sandara had did to me. You don't know Jay, how much bad deeds she had done to me. You're blinded by her sweet words and I'm kinda glad that at least you do spot some of her wrong doings but you don't know she did more evil things to me. I know it's a wrong thing to change my identity and not telling you but do you know how happy and jubilant I felt for being your girlfriend during my disguise of being Sheera? Every moment I spent with you as Sheera I wished it doesn't end because that's my only wish that came true but the more sweeter you are, the more guilty I get. I really wanna tell you the real me but I'm afraid you'll let me go forever, which already happened. T_T That's a karma I guess?

Among all of our friends, you know I'm the one that's the closest to you.You mean a lot to me than a friend. You're always there to cheer me up, we have the same interest, you never let me handle problems alone and you don't ever made me feel lonely. Due to that, I develope feelings for you. I'm scared for confessing because I know you wouldn't take it seriously. I had been keeping it a secret since we're 14 years old and I can't keep it anymore. I like you and I wished I could love you more than a friend but situtaion seems to be f**ked up now don't they? Haha.. who am I kidding? That's why I gave you back the bracelet because you deserve a much more better girl compared to a liar and like me.

TSK...The next thing that I'm about to tell you is really important to you, in fact us. You remember the question that I ask whether you like children? Well, it has something to do with you and someone else. I guess this is one of the biggest mistake and lie ever and I have no rights to hide it from you. If only I don't have to disguise as someone else, if only you're my boyfriend when I'm Sasha, I wouldn't have to hide it from you. I'm actually pregn...tsk...pregnant with your child Jay...yes our child....

You're a father Jay. However, I'm sorry that I actually....(crying)...I...I lost it....it's gone....tsk....tsk....I failed to protect it...tsk....tsk....I fail to protect that innocent child....tsk....tsk...... Is this karma? Is it trying to teach me a lesson after what I've done to you? That's why I decided to go far away because a cruel girl like me, don't deserve to be around nice people...tsk....I'm sorry for what I've cause once again Jay. I love you and.....I'm sorry chingu...Please..don't ever find me,"

[VIDEO ENDS]

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I cried a river and my tears were overflowing my eyelids till there is no tears for me left to shed. I stare at the bracelet which is resting on my palms. I clench, venging all of my anger and stupidity that I've presented to her on that very horrible day on it. This is exactly the first time I've let out what I felt through tears. I hide my shameful face and I could feel Peatry's paw on my knees, comforting me. While crying and recalling back whatever she had just confessed, I remembered something really very clearly. What does she means by she lost the child?

"Did she abort it? Maybe something happened causing her to lose it," I thought to myself

There is only one way to find out. I grab my car keys and my navy blue leather jacket. Now I truly understand, how much pain and sufferings she had went through behind my back. I'm such a f**king useless friend to not notice all that. My non-stop tears kept flowing out. I just hope I will not lose focus on the road. I reach my destination in 15 minutes. I was drenched by the sudden heavy rain and I'm like a crazy, lunatic banging on the door, desperate to get some information.

"Come on, come on someone must be home!" I whispered when out of a sudden the door was open

Upon seeing me, he almost slam the door right at my face but I manage to block it with my foot. "Do you have a minute? I need to ask you something," I shivered in the cold rain

"What else is there to ask? About Sasha? Just forget it, it's over alright? Thanks to you we're not going to see her ever again. Everything has been answered and I don't have a minute for you, not even a second. Just f**k off will you?" Nichkhun scolded and force the door to be close but failed

"Listen to me for one sec!" I raved

"I know I've been a jerk alright? I can see it clearly without even looking at myself in the mirror. We've known each other for more than 20 years and you should know, I always like to jump into conclusion and always ended up with lots of regrets. I get it alright!!!!! You don't have the right to put the blame on me because I don't know the truth about her sufferings. But now I know what exactly happened. If you don't want to elaborate to me fine, but can you at least tell me what happened to the baby in her stomach?" I persuaded him while a short shock expression was being plastered in his face followed by the 'i won't tell you' face

"Nichkhun-ah, jaebal.I know you know everything. I just want to know about it. Look I'm sorry for putting her in that kind of state and I bloody regret it. I have the right to know about that child. Please...tell me, jaebal," I pleaded with watery eyes

NICHKHUN'S POV

Should I? He had done so many hurtful things to her and I really don't see a point in telling.

"Nichkhun, I had the right to know about my own blood and how she lost it. Please, I have to take responsibility. Jaebal...just this once," he cried and pleaded

*TAKE NOTE IT'S'S NOT THE END OF THE STORY YET. I DECIDED TO ADD IN A FEW MORE CHAPTERS BECAUSE I FEEL BAD TO KEEP YOU GUYS FOR WAITING FOR MY REALLY LATE UPDATES. ^^*