'Take this.'

Heechul could feel his hands trembling as he reached out and took the small pouch from the man before him. As he grabbed a hold of it, he felt his heart sank realizing what he was about to do. What he had to do. Not that he really had any choice. He got himself into this mess. But what if he really did have a choice?

Did he ?

'Make sure no one sees you.' The man Heechul had learned to despise warned him.

-------

Heechul put on his black leather jacket. He then reached for his drawer and took out a mask, putting in on his face. He searched around his and grabbed his sunglass and black beany. After putting everything on, he left his room and headed out for the front door.

'Hyung, where are you going?' 

Heechul could feel his feet froze to spot. He was sure he was careful enough to make sure that non of the members saw him. But then again, Ryeowook had always been quick witted and sharp to notice things.

'To see a friend.' After thinking it through, he decided that small and short answers would be best to avoid further discussion with the smaller man.

'But why are you dressed up so weirdly?' Ryeowook questioned. If Heechul wasn't in a hurry and being considerate of the latter's feeling he would have snap at him right then.

'Duh, so the fans won't see me.' He tried to say as politely as possible as he hoped and prayed like crazy that Ryeowook would just drop the subject already.

'But you look like you're going to a funeral or something.' This time Ryeowook had one of his brows furrowed.

'Ryeowook look, I don't have tim-' As he was about to tell Ryeowook to stop being such a pushoever Siwon appeared from behind the front door.

'Ouh, hey hyung.' Ryeowook greeted him much to Heechul's reliefs.

'Hey.' Siwon merely responded as he look at Heechul. 'Are you ready hyung?' Heechul knew what his eyes were saying and signalled for the door.

----------

'Hyung I just...'

Siwon tried to say as he look at the other man. Heechul was sitting beside him inside his car. They were heading to that place again. The place that they had never thought in a million years they would ever visit. The place they're grown to hate and despise with all their heart.

But they had no choice but to go.

'We gotta stop Siwon.' Heechul told him. His eyes boring into the window refusing to look at the other man.

'I can't always be there for you, you know.' He then continued. 'I can't do this anymore.'

'It's wrong and you know it.' Heechul finally look at Siwon as he said this. He was serious.

'I know.' Siwon desperately say. His hands clenching against the steering wheel. 'I've messed up.'

'I didn't know that it get this big I-'

'You gotta help hyung. You have to I-I don't know what to do.'

'Damn it Siwon I am helping you!' Heechul yelled banging his fist on the window.

'It's because I'm helping you that I'm also stuck in this ing mess!'

'It's not entirely my fault.' Siwon felt the need to defend himself when Heechul yelled. What was his hyung kidding?

'You wanted this as well remember?' He snikered as he could feel his face getting hotter.

'You wanted to be that Kim Heechul that everyone know and recognise!' He looked at the older man with so much disappoinment.

'So don't say that it's entirely my fault!'

'We should have never start anything.' Heechul retorted straightening his position as he sighed. He didn't want to have a fight with Siwon. 

'What would the members sayif they knew?' He then added.

'They'd be so disappointed...'

'Hah you never thought this when you start giving me this idea?' Siwon chuckled as he tried to suppresed his emotions.

'I know what I did Siwon. You should know what you did.' Heechul countered back.

'I KNOW WHAT I DID!!!' Siwon yelled at the top of his lungs feeling his tears welling up.

'Damn it hyung I know what I did!'

'We both messed up.' Heechul finally said after a long moment of silence.

'I don't think, I can ever face our members if they know. The feeling is like, disappointing your family your know.'

'What family.' Siwon uttered, feeling his chest tightened.

'We're no family.' He added.

'At least not anymore.'

'That's not true.' Heechul shook his head.

'We are. We've always been.'

'Stop joking hyung.' Siwon snickered.

'Tell me, when was the last time we actually acknowledge each other, other than at the front of the camera or at work?

'Heck hyung when was even the last time we ate together???'

'We've been in a mess a long time ago. Everyone's become selfish now.'

'All we can think of is how to get our name out there and be noticed, get good pay and have huge connections, that's it.'

'Including me. Including you. That's what made us start the whole thing in the first place.' 

'Now hyung, all I could think about is myself. I know that's selfish but I couldn't care about the group anymore.' Heechul noticed that Siwon's eyes were desperate, almost pleading.

'I'm scared of what I'm becoming hyung.'

-----------------------

Kyuhyun knew exactly who the right person to go to when he's clueless. All these years he had always been depending on him and this around it was exactly the thing that he needed. A comfort and someone he knew he could trust with all his heart. And so Kyuhyun waited for the clock to turn 12. Where visitation will start and he'll be able to meet him. Even though this time, Ryeowook won't be able to see him but if this is really what he had to do, then he was sure that there must be away.

And so he will not give up.

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I will update more after this since I have free time.