Jessica’s POV – Before and Parallel to Chapter 5

“what is it that you want to talk about?” asks Seohyun when she enters my room. She puts down her bag on the bed and slumps herself down as well.

I sit beside her and tug on my bed sheet lightly as I don’t really know where to start.

She waits for me to start patiently and I know that it would waste mine and her time if I continued dragging this on. I cough to clear my tensed throat and say,” I.. think I like someone?”

“you what?” she asks me in surprise. I swallow my spit down and repeat myself,”I think that I like someone. But the person is not from our school.”

is agape and she looks as if she couldn’t let the information sink in. Is it that surprising that I like someone? “So… what do you think?”

“what do you mean by what do I think? It is good! I thought that you don’t like people…” she mumbles the last part but I caught it clearly.

I give a light smack on her thigh and we giggles together. “so.. tell me, who is he?”

My heart skips a beat when she asks that. I have totally forgotten that I like a girl. A girl. This is wrong, she will be disgusted and maybe avoid me next time, what do I do now? I am so silly for telling her that I like someone when I haven’t really thought about the consequences of liking a girl

“i…” I can’t bring myself to say it. She frowns and tilts her head to the side a little as she observes me.

“just say it. I will keep it a secret.” She assures me. I know that she will keep it a secret, but will she feel disgusted by me?

“I think.. it is better not to. Maybe some other day?” I give her a forced smile and hope that she will drop the subject.

But being a persistent girl like her will make my hope crash. “no. You should finish something that you’ve started on.”

I sigh inaudibly and look away. I really can’t tell her. My inner self is struggling so hard. If I told her, she might feel disgusted. If I didn’t tell her, she might think that I don’t trust her for that and this might ruin our friendship as well. I am doomed.

“I… need some more time hyunnie, please…” I plead a little with my round eyes that I know most people can’t resist. When an ice princess pleads you with a puppy look, who can resist?

“don’t give me that look sica. I promise I won’t say it. Come on just share it with me!” she whines a little

I bite my tongue and close my eyes for a moment. This is now or never. I shall test the water first before I give all out. Come on, Jessica you’re smart, think of a way.

When I open my eyes, she is staring at me like as if I am an alien. “what’s wrong with you?” she asks me weirdly

I shake my head and questions her carefully,”uhmm… what do you think about Ellen and Portia?”

She furrows her eyebrows and put her index finger on her lower lip as she thinks. “they’re cute together.” She says.

“And what do you think about Neil and David?” I asks again.

She tries to recall who are they and then snaps her fingers when she remembers them. “ they’re adorable too! Have you seen the way they kiss during the award ceremony? They’re so sweet!”

I nod carefully and try to plan on where to start but her question shocks the hell out of me.

“you’re gay, are you?” Her facial expression is neutral. It’s like as if this kind of thing is normal.

“w-what?” I give her an incredulous look and a nervous laughter

She rolls her eyes a little and put a hand on mine,”Be frank with me sica. I don’t like it when people like to me.”

I gulp and my dry lips. My mouth feels so dry, there’s no word coming out. I can’t project my voice, this .

“So you’re gay?” she questions me softly.

I frown as I don’t really know if I am. I just find the girl cute and I admit that I look forward to her boarding the bus for the past few days, but it is only this girl. Am I really gay?

“i.. don’t know..” I sigh and scratch my head in frustration. I feel like pulling my hair out but no, have you ever seen a princess with no hair before?

“Alright, maybe you’re not, because it is just one girl.” She says wisely. I swear there isn’t anyone else as smart as Seohyun, so far. I know there are geniuses out there but she is the smartest person I have ever met. Being her friend is too lucky.

I nod in agreement and she looks at me with a blank face. She’s thinking hard, I can tell. “I met this girl on the bus.” I say

She hasn’t replied yet, I know she’s still thinking hard. I wait patiently and the images of the girl appear in my mind, I smile a little as I remember her flustered look. She’s silly yet cute.

“How much do you like her?” she asks suddenly while I am still in a deep thought.

“I don’t really know? I just met her, I guess it maybe a crush? I have never liked anyone before, so I don’t really know.” I explain

She nods and probes,”do you think of her often?”

Do I? I admit that I was thinking about her last night before I fell asleep. I pictured us talking after getting to know each other. It is such a cute scene and I find myself giggling again, Seohyun looks at me with a scrunched face, she probably think that I am a nut.

“I think so?” I say.

“So what are you going to do? Are you going to let her know that you like her or wait for something to happen?” she asks me with an interested look.

“That would be so scary if I went up to her and confessed. She might think that I am a creep!” I quickly say.

“maybe she likes you too? Alright, tell me about your encounter with the girl. From the start to yesterday?” she pats my thigh eagerly and I chuckle lightly.

So we sit there for about an hour with me depicting my encounter with the girl and my feelings. She is actually supportive of it. She doesn’t mind if I like a girl, she just wants me to be happy. I am so glad that she’s my only friend, because she’s all I ever need. I just hope that at least someone would support me of something that the world is against of.

It has been like almost 5 days since I last saw the girl. I ended my lectures later these few days because of the upcoming exam. I guess we just missed the timing.

It is 7.15pm now and I haven’t had my dinner. After I parted from Seohyun, I walk to the bus stop alone. I am feeling rather tired now and the bus stop is damn crowded. I guess I have to stand again later. It to have to take bus at the peak hour

I didn’t have to wait long and the bus arrives. Of course, people are rushing to get in. I just let them be since I know I will end up standing anyway and I am too tired to push with them.

The papers that I am holding in my hands can save me from the boredom during the bus ride maybe. I read every word carefully and try to zone myself out from the noisy surroundings. Then, something always has to go against me. The bus halts suddenly and I fall to the side, my arm hits the pole and it hurts! There is going to be a big bruise there when I wake up tomorrow. Damn it.

The long bus ride is torturous. People are squeezing me to the corner and I will sometimes nudge them lightly to tell them to stop moving any closer to me. I hate skin contact, unless I like you, which never happens.

I didn’t bother to look around to spot the girl too as I know she doesn’t take bus at this time. It is 2 hours later than the usual time. Yes I remember all these little details.

The bus reaches the interchange and I tap out quickly. It is suffocating to be in a crowded bus. I need some fresh air.

If something belongs to you, no matter how long it takes, it will go to you. If it doesn’t, then you deserve better. No one deserves something that is not good enough for him. Just give it some time and things will fall in place eventually.

I am reading this particular paragraph written by Yunho who is my classmate. Yes, he is handsome and charming and studious, but he isn’t my type of guy. He tries to ask me out for a date but I always reject him. He’s a playboy anyway.

Then something hits my shoulder. No it isn’t a hit. Someone is patting my shoulder. I turn around with a little annoyed look as I was in my deep thought just now. Does she belong to me? Or am I good enough for her?

My heart leaps into my mouth when I look to a stranger girl’s left. She’s standing there with a shock look. I can’t contain my excitement when I see her but I have to, I must. I don’t want to leave a bad impression on her.

I put away my paper and wait for her to say something. She must have had something to tell me right? My wish is coming true?!

“yes?” I ask to probe her, just in case she forgets about why she is there. I look at the girl who tapped on my shoulder just now and she gives me a polite nod which I return it. I am not a rude person even though I may come off as a cold one.

“I-I uhm… hi…” she says with an awkward look. I notice her frown when she looks as if she is trying to come up with something to say.

I chuckle softly to clear the awkwardness and I find her cute too when she frowns like that. “hi?” I reply and continue chuckling when I see her blank face. Her mind is drifted far away from her soul, I don’t really know what she is thinking about.

I watch as the other girl pinches her arm and she snaps at her irritably. I know that feeling when someone disturbs you, so I don’t really mind it. She quickly looks as me to check if I am displeased or anything.

“uhm is there anything else?” I ask as she isn’t saying anything after the silence.

I have to admit that my heart drops a little when she shakes her head. I am expecting her to ask for my name or something but she didn’t. She just comes up to me and says hi then that’s all? Okay, I am a little pissed off now. But what right do I have, I am ridiculous.

“okay…” I say and turn around to walk away. I can’t stand it anymore. Why does she have to be so secretive or whatever. Can’t she just ask for my name? ARGH

As if the god knows my wish, maybe he pities me or maybe it is meant to be. I hear some shuffling of footsteps and someone shouting,” Hey! Can I know your name? Please.”

I turn myself around and look at her with a questionable look. Why didn’t she ask me this just now? But never mind, maybe she wasn’t that ready just now. Now, smile and tell her your name! tadah!

“Jess-“ I stop when I see her swaying weirdly. Her eyes are not focussing. “ are you ok- OHMYGOD!” She falls to the ground and I rush up to her. Her eyes are close tightly and she looks pale.

She has fainted. What just happened? Fortunately, the other girl managed to catch her in time, or else her skull would be cracked open by now. The ground is so hard. I kneel beside her and try to recall the step to wake her up.

“oh my god, what happened?” I ask the girl. Maybe this unconscious girl has eaten something bad or maybe she has some illness.

The unknown girl looks at me and says,” I’ve no idea. This is the first time I am seeing this. I’m Hyoyeon by the way.”

“Jessica Jung Soo Yeon,” I introduce myself and press on the philtrum of the fainted girl. I read it from some book that it helps.

“jeshikar?” Hyoyeon tries to pronounce. I forgot, most Koreans can’t pronounce my name. Forget it.

“you can just call me Sooyeon. Anyway, massage the back of her neck.” I say and start to fan the girl with my papers.

“Nice knowing you, sooyeon-ssi. And can you please stay with me till she wakes up? I have no strength to carry her home and I will be so awkward to stay like this alone.” She says sheepishly.

I nod with a light smile and say,”don’t worry, I will stay with you. I know what to do.”

She nods and says,”thank you.”

“you’re welcome.” I pause for a while and start wondering what’s the relationship between these two girls. “ uhm.. are you her girlfriend?”  I ask carefully.

Her laughter makes my face flush as I know I have just embarrassed myself in front of someone new. They are not a couple?

“If we were together, I don’t think that I would allow her to ask for your name.” she says with a playful grin.

My cheeks feel hot and I start to fan myself with the paper too. Is she implying that this girl who is like a dead body, is actually interested in me? It can’t be right? Is this a dream?

I didn’t reply her and I just let my eyes wander about, but my gaze will often linger on the girl. I hope she gets up soon and tell me that it is true that she is interested in me. I know it maybe too fast but I just want to know it.

“Her name is Taeyeon by the way. We are cousins.” She says nonchalantly.

So… Taeyeon? Nice to “meet” you.

TBC. Just a piece of our Sooyeon's thoughts. I hope to update soon as I love the sweetness between Taengsic too :P STAY TUNE