I panted. Sweats were trickling down my face and music was blasting from my earphones. I looked at my wristwatch. It was 7.30 am. I normally wouldn't wake up this early on a weekend, especially for a jog. Especially when last night was supposed to be exhausting because of too much dancing or too much having fun. But it was on the contrary. I couldn't even sleep. Thinking about what Myungsoo said, I felt like my world just crashed apart into one great catastrophe.

"What do you mean you're leaving?" I bit my lips, preparing for the worst.

"My dad, he got a job in New York. So, my whole family's moving."

"Seriously? You're lying to me right? You're messing with me right?" my voice started to sound shaky and vulnerable.

"I wish I am."

"When? When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow. 3 pm."

"Tomorrow? What?! You're telling me this now?" 

"I tried to before but I just couldn't. The guys, they don't know about this yet. So, keep it a secret, okay?"

I blinked back the tears that threatened to overcome me. I could feel my heart shattering into pieces like a broken glass. It hurt. It really hurt.

"For all this time, I just wanna say sorry, and thank you. I'm not gonna lie, you...gave a huge impact on me. I'll never forget you, Jung Soojung," he carefully took my hand and intertwine it with his. He gave it a soft kiss. I could feel the warmth of his hand, one that I hadn't felt in a long time.

The sound of my ringtone startled me from my memory. 

"Hello."

"Soojung! Did you know? Myungsoo's moving to New York! He's leaving today!" Suzy screamed anxiously on the other side of the phone.

"Actually, I kind of...do."

"What?! How? When?"

"He told me last night. He said not to tell you guys."

"Oh my god, Soojung! Are you okay? No wonder you seemed different last night."

"Well, yeah."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

Suzy sighed. I knew perfectly what she meant but I was just too shocked and pissed about Myungsoo leaving. How could a confession be made at times like this?

"Okay. Suit yourself. Just want to remind you 3pm, airport. Got it?"

"Yeah, yeah. Bye." I hanged up. The truth was I was planning on not going to the airport today. I know all of my friends would be there but I didn't know if I could stand goodbyes. What if I broke down and cried? What if I acted all crazy suddenly, preventing him from leaving? I didn't want to appear so weak and defenseless without him. Plus, if I could survive today, then I could survive the remaining years of my life.

For the whole day, I kept myself busy. I made my own breakfast, cleaned my room, I even did my homework. The funny thing was I kept on remembering his words every minute. No matter how much I tried to preoccupy my mind, it wasn't working.

I went online and found the chat with Myungsoo that dated months ago. I scrolled through my phone and I would find those old text messages that I never seemed to be able to delete. I looked through the old pictures, mostly with my friends together in it. At the amusement park, the farewell party for Mr. Kim. I lied down on my bed, reminiscing the sweet and poignant memories with him.

I closed my eyes and a tear rolled down my cheek. The first time I met him was still fresh in my mind. I remembered it like it was yesterday. I remembered every detail of it. That gaze of his, that exact moment of eye contact, that time when the world stopped moving. It was short, but enough to leave a trace on my heart.

What I was feeling...was love. Well I thought so. I didn't know for sure but I guessed I loved him. Sincere from the heart. And, it was the first time I loved a guy. I always thought that first love was going to be cute and sweet like in movies, but I guessed I was just unlucky. Unlucky to be one of those that had bitter first loves. Unlucky to had my feelings hidden. Unlucky to face such heartbreaking goodbyes.

I glanced at the clock hanging on my purple-painted wall. It was 2 pm. Was I doing the right thing? Could I really survive without him? Myungsoo ignoring me was painful enough, but literally not seeing him everyday? 

"Oh and don't make the same mistake I did. You don't even wanna know how regret feels like." Sulli's words rang in my head. She let go of Hyunwoo and she was completely broken afterwards. The strong girl, broken down just because of a guy.

I shook my head. No, I had to do this! I had to go and tell him how I really felt! I failed the first time, but I was determined to try and confess again. So what if I appeared vulnerable? So what if I confessed? So what if I was afraid of losing him? He was my first love, there was nothing wrong in that. Yeah, Jung Soojung, fighting!

With a change of heart, I grabbed my coat and rushed outside. I hailed a cab and asked the driver to hurry. There was not much time left. I fiddled my fingers, praying that I would make it in time.

Once arrived, I paid the cab driver without taking the change and dashed out of the cab. I immediately scanned the schedule of departures and the one to New York was shown at gate B11.

I sprinted as fast as I could. In anxiety, I kept on searching for the gate and I could hear announcements that the passengers for the New York flight were required to board. Please, please, just do not go yet.

Finally, I found the gate and I could see one final person showing his tickets to the attendant to board into the waiting room. I saw my friends and Evolution near there and as they turned around to leave, they caught sight of me. I could see their lugubrious and gloomy faces. From that onwards, I knew that my worst fear just became a reality.

"Soojung, you're too late. He left already," Jonghyun spoke softly to me. Those words, he actually said it; too late. I started shaking and my body was trembling. I almost fell but luckily Jieun caught me. I didn't cry nor went crazy like I expected. I just stayed like that, as if someone took away my soul from me. 

I couldn't believe it. I was too late. All this time, chances were wide open and screaming at me, but I just ignored them. I tried to protect my ego when I should had said what I felt. I had so many things to say to him but all I did was bottled them all up and buried it in my deepest heart.

Now, I had to face this unbearable pain all by myself.

T.T SO DOUBLE UPDATE FOR U GUYS!!! BUT STILL IT'S KINDA SAD FOR SOOJUNG SO... :'(  THIS CHAPTER WAS KINDA SHORT. SORRY~ GUYS, THERE IS ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT. SO MY FIRST FANFIC IS GONNA BE OVER. AHHH, I AM SO HAPPY BUT SAD AT THE SAME TIME. THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT SUBSCRIBERS AND COMMENTING AND READING. LET'S NOT ACT ALL SAD AND GOODBYES YET OK? WE STILL HAVE 1 CHAPTER LEFT! UNTIL NEXT UPDATE AWESOME SUBSCRIBERS~ ^^