Hyesung had his head face down and he said, “Thank you.”

Junjin gave him a sad smile, “Of course.”

“I…” Hyesung started but he almost chocked due to the tears that were now streaming down his face. “I-I… tell the b-boys that I had to-“ He tried to finish but the tears were flowing faster now and he still refused to look at Junjin.

“J-Just let me be a-alone for a little bit. Don’t worry, I’ll be f-fine.” He said after hearing Junjin protested. Hyesung then separated himself from Junjin and quickly made his way to the entrance to go outside but not before Junjin could see the look on his face before he went out of sight.

Heartbroken

After walking out of the entrance to the hospital, Hyesung began to run to the only person he could think of.

Eric

He must look horrible right now. Even as he ran through the abandon streets of town, sobs were still wrecking from his body. He was still trembling and everything was blurry.

Not being able to handle it anymore, Hyesung crouched near an alley to compose himself. He breathed in and out several times to at least stop the sobbing.

This is all I can give you

Another sob wrecked its way out of his body. He prepared himself to be rejected. He already knew that Junjin didn’t feel the same way. Hyesung knew this for years but that still didn’t prepare him for this.

I’m sorry

Hyesung bit his lip hard trying to pull himself together. He felt so selfish. Focusing so much on his own problems that he isn’t really focusing on the more bigger matters like whether Kangin will be okay or not.

But how can he stay strong for the boys if he couldn’t even get through his own problems? It’s better if he’s out of the way.

Slowly, he lifted himself off from the ground and began to walk to the bar he, Kyuhyun and Yesung went to not even several hours ago.

Hyesung kept his face down as he passed one of the guards who already knew of him because of Eric.

He didn’t want anyone to see how messed up he looked.

Even though it must have been at least two in the morning, the bar was still filled with people enjoying themselves but it wasn’t as filled as before.

He finally spotted Eric at one of the tables near the side of the room. It must have been a business meeting because Eric had a serious expression on his face as he spoke to the other men and woman on the table.

Hyesung didn’t want to interrupt so he was contemplating on just going back to the hospital until Eric made eye contact with him. Worry flickered across his face for a split second until he composed himself in front of his clients.

Eric motioned Hyesung with a tilt of his head to go to one of the private rooms in the building. Getting the hint, Hyesung made his way to the entrance to the hallway and went to Erics’ private room.

The bar that he was in wasn’t just any bar. It was connected to a bigger building that was partly owned by Eric so he could go in and out as he pleased.

Entering, Hyesung took in the surroundings and gave a half-hearted smile at how the room reflected Erics real personality so much.

Even though the older man might be a gangster, he was always really strange in Hyesungs opinion. He liked puppies and dressing up in weird costumes. He also likes to play tricks on people by being creepy and hiding himself in their bathtub while they were at school.

Hyesung found this out the hard way.

He still checks the entire bathroom, even in the cabinets and the closet, before using it.

Random dog toys were piled up into the corner of the room and clothes were scattered all over the place. Eric basically lived here so a lot of his personal items were here too.

Pictures of himself and Eric were on the dresser. It was one when they were still in high school. He moved his eyes to the next picture and almost started crying again when he saw who was in it.

It was a picture of Hyesung, Eric and Junjin.

Junjin.

Junjin.

The feeling is coming back

He can feel it. The tears are streaming down his face again.

His heart beating out of control, his breathe getting shallower.

Hyesung stood in the middle of the room trying to hold in his whimpers. He was so busy focusing on trying to be quiet that he didn’t hear the door closing in the back of him. He didn’t jump when hands on his shoulders guided him to the bed.

The same hands gently laid him down. A bigger body hovered over him and he refused to look at his eyes.

“Hyesung” Called out Eric in a soothing tone, “It’s alright to cry, just let it out.” He said while bringing his body closer to the younger man. “Look at me Hyesung.”

Eric sighed after seeing Hyesung shake his head at his request, “There’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve already seen you cry over him.” He coaxed, trying to get the younger man to look at him.

Slowly, Hyesung raised his head to meet Eric. The two stared at each other for what seemed like hours until Hyesung finally broke the silence.

“I-I,” Hyesung started to say not caring if his voice cracked or not, “I don’t t-think that I c-can live with them anymore. It’s o-over.”

It’s over

Eric immediately understood

“Shhhh” Eric cooed as Hyesung started to cry again, “I’ll take care of you.” He said this while kissing Hyesung on his lips.

He lowered himself down to the younger mans body and pressed a kiss to his neck. The two men were now laying on the bed with Eric holding himself over Hyesung.

“I will love you so don’t cry,” Was the last thing Hyesungs brain could process as Eric made him feel wanted.

…

“Umma,” Kyuhyun called out with his eyes squeezed shut, getting lost in his memories. “U-umma don’t leave me.”

Again no response

Kyuhyun made a small noise as he tried to pull himself together. Not believing that he’s breaking down over something that happened years ago.

Kyuhyun was immediately pulled out of his thoughts when a hand placed itself on his head and then hesitantly petted him.

Slowly raising his head, he was met with the tired gaze of Kangin.

Kyuhyun stared right back at Kangin struggling what to make of this situation.

Here he was, crying his eyes out in front of the man who he thought hated his guts. But right now….

Was Kangin trying to comfort him?

Why?

The big hand was still on top of his head until Kangin pulled it back to rest on the bed. Kyuhyun could only sit there as Kangin stared right through him, as if imagining that he was someone else.

“You know,” Kangin began to say with a gruff voice “I thought you were Heechul for a moment.”

Kyuhyun probably had a confused look on his face because he looks nothing like Heechul. Kangin almost rolled his eyes as if reading Kyuhyuns thoughts.

“M’ not saying you look alike but, when you were crying just now.” Kangin slurred out, looking like it hurt him to even talk, “Before I had Hyukjae and Sungmin, Heechul used to cry a lot.”

From what Kyuhyun heard about Heechul, that fact actually seemed really unlikely. Despite his girly and fragile looks, Heechul was strong mentally and maybe even physically if he needed to be.

“He used to cry about his mom.” Kangin stated.

Oh

“He acts like he doesn’t care but he’s really sensitive” Kangin rambled on, “Their mother used to go out with her friends a lot so she barely spent time with them. He would beg her not to leave but she would just ignore him and walk out the door.”

“When Hyukjae came along, Heechul started to change. He started acting more mature and he was more vicious when it came to people talking about his family.” Kangin said

“But once in a while, he would come into my room in the middle of the night and cry. He would have nightmares and he also talks in his sleep,” He said quietly, “He would beg his mom not to leave but in the end of the nightmare she would. And Heechul would just cry.”

Kangin looked at Kyuhyun again, “When you started talking about your stepmom, I guess I just felt the need to make you feel better. I don’t really know.” He admitted.

“You could hear me?” Kyuhyun hesitantly asked feeling embarrassed for looking weak in front of him out of all people.

Kangin nodded, “I could hear you guys the whole time but I was just too tired to wake back up.”

It was silent around them for a couple of minutes and Kyuhyun still didn’t really understand why Kangin wanted to even talk to him and not Sungmin who was sleeping not even ten feet away.

“I heard what you said about Sungmin.” He stated and Kyuhyun felt his face flush at what he said.

“I-I ah-“ Kyuhyun began to stutter because he realized that Kangin heard his dramatic confession. But he composed himself and tried to look confident when he spoke to Kangin.

“A-Ah yes.” He scolded himself for stuttering, “I meant every word of it.”

Kyuhyun began to worry when Kangin just stared at him with a calculating but at the same time, a blank look on his face.

The silence around them was heavy but not necessarily bad either.

“Leeteuk and the boys are all I have.” Kangin began, “My own parents passed away long ago and I’m usually too busy to actually have close friends who I can truly trust.”

“I….” Kangin hesitated, “I always thought that my sons saw me as a poor excuse of a father.”

Kyuhyun wanted to protest that they thought the exact opposite of what he was saying but he knew that he shouldn’t interrupt.

“After I dropped out from high school, Leeteuk had to watch them for me when I was working so I was barely home. There was a time when Hyukjae broke his arm and I wasn’t even there when he was rushed to the hospital,” He began to ramble.

He continued, “I was barely there when they had nightmares or when they got physically hurt. Leeteuk was the one who helped them. They don’t really need me anymore do they?”

“They even lied to me about having a partner. I mean… don’t I mean anything to them anymore? Am I not important enough to know what was going on in their lives? Sungmin already told me that he hates me.” He said while letting out a bitter chuckle.

Kangin said quietly, “Kyuhyun… I saw the car coming.”

Something was bothering Kyuhyun, “What… what are you trying to say?”

“After the fight with Sungmin….” The older man said while looking away. “I though that maybe it was okay for me to just…”

“Go away.”

…

After the talk with Hyesung, Junjin bought the water bottles and went back to where everyone was sitting. Yesung was now awake talking to Hyukjae who was sitting across from him.

Junjin went around handing everyone a water bottle and he received nods and quiet ‘thank yous’

He was relieved to see that Heechul and Hyukjae finally calmed down because Heechul was crying, almost hysterically when he first came and he thought that Hyukjae was going to kill him.

Junjin sat himself down in the chair on the side of Yesung. He began to look around at Kangins sons.

Yunho was still in the same state. Just sitting there while Jaejoong slightly leaned on his shoulder.

Hankyung had an arm around Heechul and he was rubbing his back for comfort. Heechul was snuggling into his side while playing with the water bottle he just received.

Hyukjae had a calming look on his face while Donghae finally couldn’t handle it and fell asleep on Hyukjae. The older boy smiled slightly as he listened to Yesung and Donghaes hair.

Ending his conversation with Hyukjae, Yesung turned to Junjin and asked, “Appa where’s Hyesung?”

Junjin tried to keep himself composed and not be eat away by guilt. “He had to go out for a little bit. He’s probably going to be back soon.” He lied. Junjin was sure that Hyesung ran to Eric.

It’s better that way

Eric will treat him much better than Junjin has

Looking a little worried Yesung said, “Oh. I hope he’s okay.”

Junjin nodded his head and decided to look at Hyukjae who was staring back at him. Hyukjae no longer had that crazed look in his eyes but he didn’t really look thrilled seeing Junjin either.

The older man moved his gaze to the sleeping student on his lap and Hyukjae mumbled, “I told him that he should go home but he’s stubborn.”

“Did you at least call his parents?” Junjin asked.

“Yeah,” Hyukjae answered, “I told his brother.” He said shortly.

Junjin just nodded his head not wanting to push the other to talk to him.

Jaejoong was currently talking to someone on his phone telling them that he was okay and that they didn’t need to worry. Hankyung didn’t have anyone at his apartment waiting for him so he didn’t mind staying either.

His thoughts wandered back to Hyesung. Remembering the look on his face. He kept telling himself that it was for the best because he didn’t want to keep leading him on. But he still felt the guilt eating away at him.

There wasn’t anything wrong with Hyesung but Junjin only saw him as family, the older brother that he never had. There was a time when he even tried to force himself to look at Hyesung that way but it just didn’t work.

Then his mind wandered back to Kangin. He has a feeling that Kangin will wake up, but in the back of his mind.

He could have sworn that Kangin saw the truck coming. He had enough time to move but he didn’t.

Junjin shook his head, erasing these silly thoughts because why would Kangin do that?

….

Kangin said quietly, “Kyuhyun… I saw the car coming.”

Something was bothering Kyuhyun, “What… what are you trying to say?”

“After the fight with Sungmin….” The older man said while looking away. “I though that maybe it was okay for me to just…”

“Go away.”

Kyuhyuns eyes widened at his confession.

What?

What did he just say?

Kangin saw Kyuhyuns look of disbelief and sighed, “I know what you’re thinking.” But Kyuhyun just kept looking at him with that look on his face.

“How could you even think that?” Kyuhyun asked with a distressed voice. Is Kangin saying that he allowed himself to get hit by the car? Even though there was a big chance that he wasn’t going to make it?

“I….” Kangin looked like he was struggling with his words, “I wasn’t thinking straight. At that time, I really thought that they all would have been better off without me but” He paused to glance at the swollen eyed Sungmin sleeping not too far away from them “I was obviously wrong.”

Kyuhyun didn’t know what to say. He was honestly speechless.

“Even though I wasn’t fully conscious, I could hear everything around me. Even when they all came in to talk to me, I could hear them all. And I was wrong. I was wrong to assume that they would be fine and I regret my decision of not moving out of the way.” Kangin explained with a regretful frown.

Finally finding his voice Kyuhyun asked, “When did you realize that you were wrong?”

The older man responded, “Yunho came to see me first before everyone else. He must have sneaked in because he would have been with the others. Yunho cried. The last time I seen him cry was around twenty years ago.  He never cries because he thinks that he needs to be the strong man of the family but he cried a lot in that short time.”

“He told me about everything. Even about Heechul and Hyukjae finding a boyfriend. Then he started crying more” Kangin said with a laugh but tears were welling up in his eyes as he thought about it. “I’m so stupid.”

“Yeah you are” Kyuhyun bluntly said. “Of course they love you.”

Kangins eyes softened, “Yeah I know.”

They sat in a comfortable silence until they heard muffling from Sungmin who was still lying in the chairs. He looked like that he was struggling to sit upright.

“Kyuhyun?” Came the tired voice of Sungmin.

Making his way towards Sungmin he responded, “Sungmin.” Kyuhyun bent down to help Sungmin up and ignored the confused look on Sungmins face when he pulled him away from the chair.

Frowning, Sungmin asked “Where are we-“ But he was stopped short when he made eye contact with his appa from the other side of the room.

“He’s up.” Were the only words that Kyuhyun muttered when he walked towards the door that led to the hallway. He stopped at the doorframe to see Sungmin frozen in front of Kangins bed.

“A-Appa” Sungmins voice shook.

Kangin looked at him with a watery smile and slowly opened his arms despite the aching pain he felt in them, “Sungmin.”

A harsh sob wrecked though Sungmins body as he ran forward to throw himself on his appa. He was now laying on him and crying into his neck. “I-I d-didn’t m-mean it appa! I l-love you! I love y-you so much!” He tried to say but his voice shook by the tears that were blurring his vision. “I’m s-sorry appa!”

“It’s okay Sungmin.” Kangin gave the boy in his arms the warmest smile that Kyuhyun has even seen.

Kangin and Kyuhyun made eye contact with each other. Kyuhyun nodded and went out into the hallway to call the others.

=====================================

I miss you all! It's been 11 days since I update and I have to admit, I am not entirely satisfied with this chapter but I didn't want you guys to wait any longer. How many of you guys read the author notes anyways? I hope you guys do :D

Nothing has been really going on lately so I don't really have much to say O_O Something important is that this story is going to end REALLY soon. Like in the next two or three chapter :D Aren't you excited?!

Now SPAM mwuahaha >:D

He's my bias in Shinhwa so I don't know why I keep making him sad T_T I love you Hyesung!

I don't know why I keep making Eric seem so badass when he's actually a HUGE DORK (see picture below)

Yeah he's weird XD

Sorry if you were disappointed to see Hyesung end up with Eric but he's happier this way! And I ship them, really hard....

That adorable baby is Jaejoong being held by his mom. Now, I want you to take a LONG look at this cute baby and then look at the next pictures of Jaejoong. Then explain to me how the hell he came from cute to Y AS FIRE

He's going through this cool/badass/manly phase right now and I don't think I can handle

He's almost as y as my man!

Almost but not quiet there yet

AND FINALLY THERE IS KYUMIN! I need more Kyumin moments ASAP

I found this picture hillarious XD

Eunhae being Eunhae, Eunhae shipping themselves, Eunhae stripping themselves

My baby is getting chubby! I love it <3 Keep feeding him Donghae! He looks healthy :)

And if you have been keeping tabs on Hankyung, he's really doing great in China!

I really miss Heechul and Hankyung together... but there both doing good career wise so I'm happy :)

But I will wait forever! I will wait for Hanchul no matter how long it takes!!

Anyways I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and the bunch of pictures!

Please take the time to tell me what you think :)