Taemin had beautiful butterfly wings. Graceful, delicate and intricate-looking. Incredibly detailed.  Minho wasn’t so sure that they weren’t fake. They looked way too real to be fake. But they had to be. They couldn’t be real, that’s impossible.

    “Wow,” Minho literally had trouble remembering to breathe. Taemin looked so beautiful dressed like he was. “You look amazing.” Taemin’s shy, genuine smile made Minho’s heart ache.

The rest of Taemin’s costume was just as intricate, and Minho looked enviously at a very tasteful, artful butterfly costume. Lots of long, richly colorful robes, a pair of delicately detailed antenna, and a mask completed Taemin’s ensemble. And…  After Kibum had begged him for weeks, saying that it would just make his costume, Taemin had conceded to wear a long-haired, jet-black wig. The whole thing must have cost a fortune, but… Taemin still looked uncomfortable.

He himself was dressed as a knight. Nowhere near as fancy or interesting as Taemin’s costume. Kibum was dressed as a kaleidoscope (And really, it had just been an excuse to wear lots and lots of colorful clothing. That had always been Kibum’s favorite part of their various fashion concepts.), while Jonghyun and Jinki were dressed as Beavis and Butthead.

It was stupid, Minho had silently fumed when Jinki got a text from their manager about some kind of New Year’s party at the company. What really was having to wear masks and costumes. Who even does that at New Year’s? While Minho had been less than pleased, Kibum had naturally been ecstatic. No one saw Taemin’s panicked expression.

-

They had fun at the party, surprisingly. There was plenty of alcohol available to those who were old enough, and those who weren’t were very clearly marked, of course. It was a company party, after all. Minho was hanging out with Changmin and Kyuhyun, and he was at least trying to have fun. But his eyes were constantly drawn to Taemin. There was something… off about his behavior. He looked so unhappy, and Minho wondered if maybe it’s because he’d seen BoA’s fox demon costume. That was a pretty good costume, even Minho had to admit.

He went over and (sincerely) tried to reassure Taemin that his costume was great, and that he looked fantastic. Taemin didn’t look so sure, and Minho wondered why Taemin looked so sad and beaten down.

The next morning, after Minho got up and saw Taemin, he thought that maybe he was still hungover. Or maybe even still drunk. He blinked and rubbed his eyes, trying to remember how many beers he’d had last night. But nothing he could do erased the shimmering image of butterfly wings behind Taemin. Minho almost couldn’t believe what he saw. Because he knew for a fact that Taemin’s costume wings were hanging safely on a hook on the back of his door. Minho had watched Taemin take them off the night before with his own eyes.

He decided not to ask Taemin why he still had butterfly wings. He didn’t really feel like getting stared at like he was crazy.

-

It was only a shell, the confidence that Taemin displayed. Inside, Taemin was still an insecure boy who wondered if he was good enough for the entertainment industry. Who wondered if maybe he wasn’t already burnt out on this lifestyle. Minho knew this because Taemin had told him. Taemin often confided his fears in Minho, and Minho always held him, and tried to the best of his ability to assuage those fears.

That night, after they got home from dance practice, Taemin slipped into Minho’s bed and cried. Bewildered and feeling helpless, Minho could do nothing but hold the maknae and rub his shoulders.

After a few more days of seeing Taemin’s wings, Minho was positive he was the only one who could see them. He was also positive that they were real, because he noticed that Taemin’s wings were growing duller. They lacked the shine and glamour they once had, and Minho had recently discovered that they were beginning to disintegrate. There were small chunks missing, and Minho knew then that something was very, very wrong.

There was an unbelievably frustrating feeling that there was a reason Minho could see Taemin’s wings, but Minho was absolutely clueless as to what it could be.

At night, Taemin still crawled into Minho’s bed, searching for the comfort of Minho’s arms. It ached to see Taemin reduced to this insecure boy once more, when Minho knew that months earlier Taemin had actually had real, genuine confidence in his steps. Something dramatic had happened, and Minho had the feeling that Taemin hadn’t told him anything about it on purpose.

Minho continued to hold Taemin at night, but even then, he knew it wouldn’t be enough. All too soon, it wouldn’t be enough. He recognized enough signs of depression that he knew Taemin needed real, professional help.

By then, everyone could tell that Taemin was feeling out of it, and everyone was puzzled as to why. Minho instinctively knew that whatever was causing Taemin to feel so bad, it was the same thing that was causing his butterfly wings to fade.

-

After two weeks had passed, Taemin’s butterfly wings were nothing but an outline.

Minho wasn’t even close to figuring it out. He could tell that Taemin was losing the battle against his depression, though. He was fading. Fast. Despite all of Minho’s best efforts, Taemin had refused to go to a therapist, and wouldn’t get out of the car when Minho drove him to one against his will. He had fought Minho at every step.

He was so skinny and weak… He had mysterious bruises and sores all over him, and no one but Minho knew. He’d only learned by accident, after he walked in on Taemin changing in the bathroom. Taemin had begged him not to tell anyone, that only worse things would happen, and against his better judgment, Minho agreed.

Minho had been desperate. He desperately tried to find out what had happened. Ultimately, he failed.

-

It was 5 o’clock in the morning when Minho woke up. He frowned when he realized the other half of his bed was cold. Taemin had always been next to him in bed when he woke up to go on his morning jog. Taemin had always been one of the hardest to wake up, so Minho never worried about waking him up with the noise.

He checked the living room, the kitchen, and Taemin’s shared bedroom with Key, but he wasn’t in any of those places. His steps felt weighted and dread choked him the closer he got to the bathroom.

He wasn’t even aware that he had screamed until he heard Jinki ask him what was wrong. He couldn’t speak, and only shut the bathroom door to answer Jinki’s question.

    “Hyung,” he teared up and gasped, feeling pain crash into him with all the force of a harsh wave. “Please… If you value your memories of him, don’t look in the bathroom,” he placed himself in front of the bathroom door. “Please don’t.”

And with that, Minho could tell that Jinki knew. He knew exactly what was behind that bathroom door, as if he’d been the one to see it.

Minho knew why he’d seen Taemin’s butterfly wings. He saw it so clearly, now. Taemin’s whole life was displayed to anyone who had cared to see it. His life was colorful, beautiful, full. Just as his wings had been beautifully shaped, and bright with colors.

But something had happened, something that destroyed Taemin slowly. Minho didn’t know what it was, but he suspected that it had something to do with one of the other members. He’d begun to suspect that almost a week ago, just from little things Taemin had said.

It wasn’t long before the coroner came for the body. Minho guessed that when an idol died, their body took top priority. No one wanted the press around until most everything was cleaned up.

When the coroner came out of the bathroom with the body, he handed Minho a letter. He shrugged at Minho’s questioning glance, effectively saying he didn’t know anything.
 
The letter was short and to the point. It was nothing like the rambling, roundabout texts Taemin was known to send.

Hyung,

First of all, thank you. I never would have lasted this long without you. Thank you so much for supporting me, and being someone I could take comfort in. I’m so sorry that I left you that way, but knowing that I lived with a monster just wasn’t bearable anymore. It was too much, finally.

You always comforted me after he’d been inside me, touching his filthy hands all over my body. You don’t know how much I loved you for it. Yes, Minho. Love. I loved you as so much more than a brother, despite his attempts to tell me that I wasn’t worthy of you. But while you comforted me, everything was okay. I felt safe with you.

I’m so, so sorry I didn’t tell you before. I’m a coward. Please forgive me.

Love,
Taemin

Minho shook with rage, barely suppressing the urge to turn and scream at the other members. He wanted to ask them which one of them had done it.

He watched the members carefully over the next few days, and eventually he was convinced Jinki was the one who’d done this. There was an odd upturn of lips that looked suspiciously like a smile on Jinki’s face when they had sent Taemin’s body into the crematorium. His eyes were full of malicious glee, and that was all the proof that Minho needed to decide that it was Jinki.

He’d hid it so well, but Minho had noticed slight, sadistic smirks on Onew’s face whenever Taemin was mentioned. He acted so concerned and upset the rest of the time, though.. Minho was honestly afraid of him.

It forced him to walk out on SHINee. He didn’t want to (couldn’t) be part of a group when he knew a monster was in their midst.

After some time had passed, a stalker fan had gotten into his personal effects, and hastily posted pictures of Taemin’s suicide letter. He made a lot of enemies, after that. A lot of them. People were upset, and they wouldn’t believe that he hadn’t known anything about it. It wasn’t like he cared what people thought about him, though.

He had seen Taemin’s butterfly wings, and now he knew what they represented. He saw them on others now, but unlike his failure with Taemin, he could help those people.

He knew how, now. And he wasn’t going to fail again, as long as he was still breathing. That was a promise.
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Work inspires things. Idek why. But I'm glad I've started writing my ideas down. So many new fics, omg. ♥ I'm excited.
Aside from being bored at work, this is also inspired in part by Butterflies with Wings, by lynnxalters. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it, and I don't even like 2min.

To be honest, though, I don't think this is any good. It's blah. :/

I hope you enjoyed reading it anyway. c:

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Til next time, loves. ^.~