Rejected. Alone. Heartbroken. Depressed. Angry. Envious.

Kim Kibum was all these things when he finally stumbled into SHINee's dorm late at night. The news of Jonghyun's new girlfriend was the ultimate slap in the face after he'd finally gotten the courage to confess last night. Jonghyun had looked extremely awkward after Key's confession, with his face as red as a tomato and his feet shuffling.

   "Kibum-ah, I.. that was just skinship for me. I'm sorry," he raised his eyes, looking apologetic to the person he considered his best friend. Key could literally feel his heart tearing to shreds when Jonghyun spoke those words. He kept his face carefully blank, even though he felt the tears in his eyes wanting to spill over.

   "It's okay, Jonghyun-hyung. I didn't expect anything. I just wanted to get that off my chest," and Key wasn't lying. He hadn't expected anything. So why did he still feel heartbroken? He rushed up to his shared room with Taemin and silently cried himself to sleep.

So when the news came out that Jonghyun was seeing Shin Se Kyung the next day, Key couldn't help torturing himself with unanswered questions. Was she the reason why he was rejected? Was she better than him?  Key couldn't help thinking about all that was wrong with him. He was too pale and too skinny. He wasn't handsome or gorgeous. He had a flat chest. He didn't act very well, and he wasn't that great at singing. The more he thought about it, the worse he became depressed, until all he wanted to do was sleep. He started loathing himself. If he wasn't good enough for his best friend, how was he good enough for someone else?

The other members noticed, of course. How could someone not notice the change from almighty diva to soft-spoken and tired all the time? As the leader, Onew was the most worried. He was the leader, it was his job to look out for s' welfare. But Key refused to say anything was wrong. It was frustrating him to the point of anger and he knew that anger was not what Key needed. He was just finishing breakfast when Key came downstairs. He looked rather worse for wear, even though he was wearing make-up (Onew could tell because parts of Key's neck were still a shade lighter than the rest, though other people probably wouldn't notice). He sat down at the table and ate silently, ignoring any attempts at conversation with him.

A little at a time, the members starting noticing Key's change from soft-spoken and tired to just plain emotionless. He became a great actor for the public, and acted like the diva he used to be, but when they were all back in the dorm, his facade slipped off. He never responded to anyone unless it was about SHINee. He shut himself in his room and listened to music most of the time when he was actually in the dorm. Key became something of an enigma to the other members.

He would leave for hours at a time, and come back, just as emotionless as he was before. Sometimes, Onew noticed that his eyes would be red and swollen. But he never said a word as to his whereabouts and when they got no answers, Key's bandmates learned to stop asking.
It was just an ordinary day when Onew finally found out the reason for Key's change as well as where he went when he left the dorm. He was just wandering through the halls of the SM building when he heard Key's new, oddly toneless voice speaking to someone. He couldn't help but eavesdrop.

   "Yes, Dongwoon-hyung. Yes, I'm coming over today. -sigh- No, Jonghyun-hyung refuses to even acknowledge me anymore. He doesn't say a word to me, and I don't say a word to him. Look, it's fine. I'm over him. Yeah, sure, I can cook for you guys. Right. Don't I always look my best? I'm Almighty Diva Key," Onew detected a slight trace of bitterness in Key's voice. "Okay. Later hyung." Onew didn't have any time to pretend to to be doing anything so he just played with his hands. He looked at Key sheepishly.

   "Sorry, Key-ah," he said rubbing the back of his head. Key turned a vacant gaze towards him and shrugged, then went on his way back to the practice room. Onew was disappointed and dismayed with Key's lack of reaction, though he couldn't say he hadn't expected it.

Later when Key left, Onew sighed, sitting in front of the TV, watching, but not really seeing. He knew what Key had meant earlier by "over him", and he was not in any way pleased with Jonghyun's actions. He started reflecting over the past months, and realized at once that Key had only started acting depressed when Jonghyun went public with Se Kyung. He could almost say he hated Jonghyun for acting so selfishly.

   "We're getting married," Jonghyun beamed at the rest of SHINee, obviously pleased. Onew patted Jonghyun on the back (not hitting him hard enough to satisfy his anger, unfortunately) and congratulated him, but gave him a nasty glare. Taemin and Minho were all smiles, genuinely happy for Jonghyun. Key remained emotionless and congratulated him in the odd toneless voice that they'd become accustomed to. He even toasted to Jonghyun's new fiancee. He downed the contents of his glass and stood up. He put his shoes on and walked out the door. He didn't come back until a week later.

Everyone knew that during that week Key hadn't been remotely okay, but he came back as emotionless as he'd been when he left. He looked paler and a little thinner, but overall the same. Onew was overwhelmed with relief while Jonghyun furrowed his brows, finally noticing his best friend for the first time in months. He was disturbed that he hadn't noticed until then how emotionless his best friend had become. He was ashamed and felt intensely guilty for some reason. Taemin and Minho simply hugged Key, and cries of 'Key-umma, you're home' could be heard. Key just stood there, stiff as a board, and finally spoke to them about something not SHINee related.

   "I'm not your umma," he said and walked up to his room, shaking Taemin and Minho off. The members were shocked. The next day, Key disappeared even though SHINee was scheduled to have practice. Jonghyun shrugged it off, saying Key was probably sick. Uneasily, the other members agreed.

The rest of the members only found out through the news that he had left SHINee. They were understandably shell-shocked and devastated. Taemin ran up to Key's room and found that all of his stuff was gone. The room was cold and lifeless. Taemin sank to his knees, unable to wrap his mind around the fact that Key was really gone. Minho came upstairs and wrapped his arms around Taemin, comforting him in the only way he knew how.

Onew was furious with Jonghyun. He didn't know he'd punched Jonghyun until he saw Jonghyun sprawled on the floor. He was shocked with himself but intensely satisfied. Jonghyun glared up at Onew, obviously confused.

   "What the was that for, Onew-hyung?" Onew was even angrier that Jonghyun didn't know what he did wrong. He fought to keep from hitting Jonghyun again. He decided honesty was the best policy.

   "It's your ing fault Key left. You insensitive bastard. You forgot about Key entirely when you got with Shin Se Kyung. It makes me wonder if he was actually your best friend," Jonghyun's face twisted in anger, and the next thing Onew knew he felt a fist collide with his jaw.

   ", take that back," Jonghyun growled. Onew just stared at Jonghyun. He knew what he'd said was a low blow, but it was the truth. He'd seemingly forgotten about Key entirely when he started dating Shin Se Kyung.

   "No. Because it's the truth. Did you notice Key's absense in the dorm?" Jonghyun said nothing, only proving Onew's point. "He was never here, and you never noticed. To me, that says you never cared about him." Jonghyun was overwhelmed with guilt by this point.

   "I'm sorry," he said in a low voice, beginning to cry. Onew sighed, and rubbed Jonghyun on the back.

   "It's okay. It'll be okay," he said. But it was far from okay.

A few months later, Key watched emotionlessly as news about SHINee breaking up began to circulate. He was currently spending a few days with Dongwoon at the BEAST dorm. Dongwoon was not surprised by the news of his depature from SHINee, none of the BEAST members were. They all respected his decision, if not understood. He sighed, looking at Dongwoon who was currently concentrated on his DS.

   "Yah, you're gonna get brain cancer from playing that thing too much," he said, using his odd emotionless voice that he knew creeped Dongwoon out. Dongwoon looked up, the look on his face speaking volumes.

   "Yah, I know you used that a lot at the SHINee dorm, but stooooop, that voice is so creepy," he whined. Key chuckled and smirked. He snatched Dongwoon's DS and started playing it himself.

   "Ughhh, let's go get some food. I'm hungry," he said, tossing Dongwoon's DS on the couch next to him, already bored. Dongwoon rolled his eyes, but agreed. He grabbed a beanie and slipped his shoes on, following Key to the nearest noodle shop.

Key was laughing and having an okay time until he looked up and found a pair of familiar brown eyes staring back at him. He gulped his noodles down, and tuned Dongwoon out. Onew honestly looked like crap. He looked downright sick. Key supposed that was partly his fault. He looked at Onew's face, seeing the pain, anger, sadness, and strain of the past few months. He knew that Onew had been watching him laugh with Dongwoon and knew there was no point in being emotionless, but did so out of habit.

   "Onew-hyung, what a surprise to see you here. I would've expected you to go to a chicken place," Dongwoon turned and saw Onew and waved. Onew waved shortly and came to sit with Key and Dongwoon.

   "You don't have to act that way around me, Key-ah," he frowned. Key chuckled.

   "Sorry. It was more out of habit than anything else. I'm so used to putting that front up around SHINee. By the way, how are the rest of you?" Key asked interestedly. Onew sighed and rubbed his hands over his face.

   "Not okay. I'm sure you've seen the reports of SHINee's break up. Taemin and Minho are so depressed that they don't do much more than sleep during the off-times. Jonghyun took your absense the hardest. He drinks all the time and yells drunkenly that ignoring you and rejecting you was the worst mistake he ever made. Shin Se Kyung broke up with him after a couple of months of it. And me? I'm tired, and sad, and angry. I know why you left, Key-ah, but can't you come back? Please, SHINee needs you," Onew begged.

Key wasn't shocked by the news that the members weren't doing well in his absence. He had known when he left that they wouldn't take it well, but he was shocked that he was asked to come back. He furrowed his brows. He didn't want to go back to having to be the emotionless robot SHINee knew him as. But he could come back for a visit, maybe. He missed Taemin and Minho. However, he felt nothing for Jonghyun. He didn't even consider Jonghyun an acquaintance anymore. And what about Onew? The leader had been nothing but supportive of Key. He'd stood up for Key, though Key had no idea.

   "Okay. But only for a visit," Key agreed. Onew's face broke into a handsome smile. He grabbed Key's wrist, and dragged him out of the noodle shop, waving back at Dongwoon and shouting a half-hearted apology.

Key slipped an emotionless look on his face once they were outside SHINee's dorm. Onew frowned, he hated seeing Key with that expression. It didn't suit him at all. Onew opened the door and the first thing Key noticed was the smell of alcohol. Key's eyes narrowed, thinking it was a little too early in the day to be drinking. He saw Minho, Taemin, and Jonghyun sitting on the couch, staring blankly at the TV. He looked down and saw the shoes in utter disarray. It was clear that Onew had been the strongest out of the four.

   "Hello," he said in an emotionless tone. All three members on the couch snapped their heads in Key's direction. Taemin and Minho rushed to Key, hugging him and crying and telling him how much they missed him. Jonghyun got up slowly, approaching Key with obvious apprehension. The other members, realizing that Jonghyun and Key needed to talk alone, quietly walked upstairs and waited. Jonghyun was their last hope.

   "Um.. hi," Jonghyun mentally smacked himself for sounding stupid. Key looked at Jonghyun with an empty gaze. There was no recognition in his eyes.

   "Do I know you?" Jonghyun's eyes widened in surprise and shock.

   "Uh yeah. We're kinda best friends," he said, still not believing that Key didn't recognize him.

   "No we're not. My best friend's name is Dongwoon, and you're certainly not Dongwoon," Jonghyun felt those words go straight to his heart. It hurt.

   "Do you hate me now?" he asked, swallowing to try keeping his tears back. Key blinked.

   "No, I don't hate you. How could I hate someone I don't even know? What's your name?" Key asked. Jonghyun broke down and tears spilled out of his eyes.

   "It's me, Jonghyun. Don't you remember me?" he asked in a small voice filled with hurt. Key's face remained emotionless, even though there was an emotional storm roiling inside his heart.

   "I had a friend named Jonghyun once. He broke my heart after I confessed that I loved him and crushed it when he announced he had a girlfriend the following day. He completely obliterated it when he never talked to me afterwards. So you can't be him, because he never talked to me," Key dismissed, walking over to the stairs before he felt Jonghyun hug him from the back.

   "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I know what I did was wrong, but please forgive me. Ignoring you was the worst mistake I ever made, and I'll never do it again. Please come back," Jonghyun sobbed. Key turned around, and the mask he'd tried to keep on cracked.

   "And why should I do that? You didn't give a damn about me for the year you and Se Kyung-noona were dating. Why should I give a damn about how you feel now?" anger coloring Key's voice. Jonghyun was startled by the anger in Key's voice. He hadn't heard any sort of emotion from Key in a long time.

"Because rejecting you was the worst mistake I ever made, Key-ah. I took it for granted that you'd always be here, and that you'd always be my best friend. I took you for granted. I'm a mess without you Key-ah," fresh tears slipped out of Jonghyun's eyes. "I love you."

Key was startled and angry when he felt Jonghyun's lips crash on his. He shoved Jonghyun back, though his heart protested.

   " Well, I don't love you anymore, Jonghyun-hyung. Stay away from me," he growled out and stomped over to the door. He hurriedly put his shoes on and slammed the door behind him. Jonghyun couldn't stop crying. The other members came out of the bedroom, looking unsympathetically at Jonghyun. 

Onew ran as fast as he could, searching for Key. He found him crumpled on the sidewalk not far from the dorm, silently crying. It was a fairly disturbing sight.

   "It would be okay to come back, you know. You wouldn't be alone this time," Onew said. Key snapped his head up, wiping the tears that had fallen. Onew smiled crookedly, and offered a hand. Key hesitated, not sure what Onew was offering exactly. In the end, he took it anyway.
 

He wasn't certain of his future or SHINee's future. But he knew that he didn't have to do it alone, and that was enough for him.

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I was thiiiiiiiis -pinches index finger and thumb together- close to making this oneshot a Jongkey. But it was an Onkey in my head. So yeah. It stayed an Onkey. Sorry to my dear readers who're Jongkey fans. :P

You guys are amazing. I love you all. ^o~

Until next time. ♥