___________________________________________________________   

    "Wait, Taemin-ah, please," Key begged. It took all of Taemin's willpower not to go back and comfort Key.

    "No. You... bastard. I gave you everything I had to offer, and you were ashamed of me. you. Kibum-hyung. you," Taemin slammed the top of his suitcase closed.
Key's tears were spilling down his cheeks.

    "No, Taemin-ah. I promise, I'm not ashamed of you," Key desperately grabbed Taemin's arm. "Just give me another chance." Taemin reared back and punched Key in the jaw as hard as he could.

    "You're a ing liar. When Onew-hyung, Jonghyun-hyung, and Manager-hyung were in there, yelling at me and calling me a filthy disgrace, where were you? Hm? You were right there with them. Despite the fact that I was your boyfriend. You're the one who's disgusting, Kibum-hyung. At least I wasn't ashamed of being in love," Taemin scoffed.

"Well, you don't have to worry about being ashamed anymore, hyung. I'm leaving and I'm never coming back." Taemin's eyes welled up with tears. "At least Minho-hyung didn't seem too disgusted. Maybe he'll drive me to the airport." Taemin ignored the desperate, broken cries coming from Key. He had to. Or else, he'd turn back and drop everything. He'd be with Key even if he was a secret. But that type of relationship was unhealthy and Taemin knew that.

Taemin knocked on Minho's door, and was surprised to see Minho standing there with swollen red eyes.

    "Yes, Taemin-ah. I'll drive you to the airport," Taemin wasn't surprised when Minho enveloped him in a hug. "I wish I could do something for you. But I guess I'll have to settle for helping you get out of South Korea." Taemin smiled slightly. Minho had always been there for him. And even now, knowing that he was a freak of nature, he was still worrying about what he could do to help. He couldn't help crying on Minho's shoulder.

The way to the airport was quiet. Minho and Taemin were both dreading what would happen once they got there. Getting through the security checkpoints was unbearably slow and frustrating. And Taemin was definitely not looking forward to the long- plane ride. When they got to the gate, Minho lingered.

    "I wish I didn't have to leave," Taemin gripped Minho's waist tightly. Minho squeezed back.

    "I wish you didn't either, Taemin-ah. But we both know that you'll get kicked out of SHINee anyway. Leaving is what's best for you," Minho wiped tears from his cheeks. Taemin choked out a laugh and smiled.

    "Thanks, Minho-hyung. That helped me a lot," Taemin cried harder. He reluctantly let go of Minho and walked down the lonely ramp to the plane.

Minho turned and walked away, not looking back and seeing Taemin's miserable expression. He didn't think he could handle it.

The moment he walked in the door to SHINee's dorm, Key grabbed onto his arm with all the strength in his body, his eyes holding a sad and defeated look.

    "Was he at least comfortable with leaving?" Key asked as calmly as he could manage. Minho looked at him coldly.

    "He sobbed his eyes out and nearly begged me not to make him go," he said blandly before walking up to his room with Jonghyun. Key felt horrible. He was ashamed of the way he'd acted when the rest of SHINee had found out about Taemin's homouality. He'd treated Taemin like some sort of freak, which was highly hypocritical of him, as he was also homoual and Taemin's boyfriend.

He hated himself for the shock, anger, hurt, and disappointment he'd seen on Taemin's face after everyone had said what they said. He knew Taemin had expected it from Onew, Jonghyun, their manager, and even Minho. But when his own boyfriend had called him a disgrace and a freak... Key knew it couldn't have been pleasant. He felt the tears build up in his eyes and he let them fall. He deserved to feel this way, after all.

He was the disgusting one for not standing up for himself and Taemin. He did love Taemin, even though he hadn't shown it with his recent actions. It killed him that Taemin probably hated him right now. But it wouldn't do any good to apologize, because Key knew that Taemin wouldn't accept it. Taemin was not a forgive-and-forget type of person. He held on to his grudges. Key sighed and the tears started falling harder. He'd really ed up.

~~5 YEARS LATER~~

    "I don't want to be here," Taemin stated loudly to the person next to him. The person smiled wryly.

    "Well, I do. If we're going to be married soon, I think you should at least make peace with whatever demons you're running from," Taemin sent the person a death glare.

    "Junsu-hyung... I really don't think this is a good idea. A few years ago, I was a really famous celebrity here in South Korea--," as if proving his point, a girl came up with a curious look on her face.

    "Omo, are you really Lee Taemin?" Taemin flashed a strained smile.

    "Yes, I am. Do you want an autograph?" the starstuck girl nodded and simply handed him her backpack and a marker. He scribbled his autograph and handed her the backpack before walking away with Junsu, who looked more intrigued than ever.

    "Taemin-ah... Exactly why did you leave in the first place?" Taemin looked at Junsu.

    "Not here, not now. Let's wait until we get to the hotel and get settled," Junsu just nodded in agreement. He knew by now that arguing with Taemin was not something you wanted to do, especially when it came to such a serious matter.

    "ing jetlag," Taemin cursed when he looked at the clock reading 2am. He was wide awake, as was Junsu. Junsu sat beside him reading internet articles and catching up on current South Korean news.

    "So, Taemin-ah, mind telling me why you hate South Korea so much?" Junsu asked, not looking up from his laptop. Taemin paled when he saw an article about SHINee just coming back from a tour in Japan. Damn.

    "They're why I ran away," Taemin said and sighed. Junsu looked up.

    "Bwoh? Who?" Taemin pointed to the article on SHINee.

    "Them," Junsu's eyes widened.

    "SHINee? But... how do you--?" Taemin shoved his phone towards Junsu, not looking at his face. His wallpaper was a picture of him standing with the rest of SHINee, posing for a magazine picture. The picture was nothing special, but he had really fond memories of the shoot. It was where Key had-- NO. NONONONONO. He was getting married to a man he loved and he was happy, dammit. He didn't need to think about that .

    "I was a part of them, once. Before I ran away. I would've been forced out anyway for being gay," Taemin spat out bitterly. "My boyfriend at the time.. He didn't do a damn thing. He was doing the same thing as the others, calling me a freak and a disgrace. He was ashamed to be my boyfriend," Taemin couldn't help the tears that he cried.

"He wasn't there for me when people I thought were my friends yelled at me. He was too afraid he'd be found out himself. I loved him, I gave him everything." Junsu closed his laptop and wrapped his arms around Taemin. He kissed Taemin's forehead, whispering sweet nothings to him. He honestly hadn't expected something quite that bad. But he now understood why Taemin hadn't wanted to come back to South Korea, at least.

Being a homoual celebrity was no laughing matter. And when your boyfriend refused to stand by you... Junsu was angry at Taemin's ex-boyfriend. He squeezed Taemin tighter. But at least Taemin had someone who loved and supported him now. And that's all that mattered.

~

Key walked off stage still feeling the adrenaline high, still hearing the screaming fans, still seeing the blinding stage lights. He was walking next to Jonghyun, who was oddly silent. Jonghyun was a chatterbox, and for him to be quiet was a rare occasion. Every now and again, Key would catch Jonghyun sending him a glare that would've killed, if looks could kill.

He deserved it. They had caught so much flack from SM Entertainment after Taemin left that Key wondered why he even bothered being a part of SHINee anymore. It was like being trapped in a loveless marriage with no way out.

    "Yah, Key-ah. You're spacing out again," Onew was waving a hand in front of his face. Key frowned. He did that often, it seemed. He couldn't get his head wrapped around the present. He smiled weakly at their leader. He'd be alright. Onew dropped his hand and walked away.

No one talked about what had happened years ago. They were ashamed of themselves, deep down, but they were unwilling to admit that they were wrong. Everyone but Minho, that is. He hadn't done anything to be ashamed of. But the reminders were constant. Taemin's absence, even after 5 years, was palpable in the way that SHINee had deteriorated. After Taemin left, they'd fallen apart.
No one spoke to each other in a friendly manner anymore. They didn't bother to even hide their hostility for each other at the dorm. They hadn't realized Taemin was actually an essential part of SHINee until he was gone.

Each member really felt his absence in the smallest of things. The laughter had almost completely disappeared from the dorm. The happy, warm feeling was gone. The closeness that the members had shared was gone.

Key still did most of the house-hold work, but now Onew pitched in and cooked dinner once in a while. Jonghyun was hopeless at cooking, but he did the laundry once a week. Minho swept and mopped at least twice a week. Everyone did their part for the bathroom. They'd straightened up after Taemin left, oddly. Like they were hoping that by doing those things, Taemin would come back, even though they knew rationally that it wouldn't happen.

Key couldn't bear to change anything of Taemin's in their used-to-be-shared room. He couldn't bring himself to move on. He was filled with so much regret and self-hatred that for a while he'd turned to self-mutilation to cope. He had slight scars on his lower hipbones from years of cutting. He had finally stopped, with help from Minho. Minho, even though he had plenty reason to hate Key, had been a huge support for Key through the tough times.

The past 5 years had been rough on SHINee. They had all wondered at some point whether the same was true for Taemin.

~

Taemin had incredibly sweaty palms the next day, despite the fact that Junsu was there next to him, trying to calm him. He hoped SHINee hadn't changed dorms, otherwise he was screwed. He definitely didn't want more people than necessary to know he was in South Korea. When the door opened and he saw Minho standing there, he mentally sighed in relief. At least he had the small comfort of knowing they still lived in the same dorm.

    "Umm... hi," he said awkwardly. Minho blinked, the shock still clear in his features. "Can we come in?" Minho's arm automatically widened the door, allowing Junsu and Taemin to enter. They were quiet as they took their shoes off, the tension between them thicker than the air. When Taemin and Junsu entered the living room, Onew and Jonghyun looked up from the TV, and did a double take. Their eyes widened, and then they went back to normal. The awkwardness and tension in the air was nearly unbearable to Taemin, who wanted to bolt out the front door and never come back.

    "Why is everyone being so quiet? It's unnatural," Key walked into the room, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw Taemin. He turned pale as a ghost. "O-oh. That's why everyone went quiet." he muttered.

    "Hello," Taemin spoke up. Junsu squeezed his hand reassuringly, and Taemin smiled gratefully to him. "Can we talk? All of us?" the others simply went in the kitchen to the table, where they always sat to talk. Taemin took a deep breath before following, noticing that his original spot was empty, and the spot beside his was empty as well. He sat down and mentally prepared himself.

    "First, I'm not back for good. I think you all already knew that, but I figured it would be courteous to not let you get your hopes up. Second, I'm here to tell you that as far as I'm concerned, the past is the past. It's over, it's done with, and I've moved on. I'm still angry, yes, and hurt. I probably always will be. But the man sitting next to me has helped me so much already, and I owe him this much," Taemin looked lovingly at Junsu and smiled.

"And last, I came in person to invite you all to my wedding. I'm getting married to this wonderful man. If you still feel the same way you did 5 years ago, I get that. You don't have to come. But if your sentiments have changed..." Taemin laid 4 plane tickets on the table. "There's one for each of you." No one said a word. He waited, hoping that their sentiments had changed. He was still very poor at taking any form of insult.

Finally, surprisingly, Jonghyun and Onew took their plane tickets. For a split second, Taemin was overjoyed, and then he heard a ripping sound and his heart ripped with it. Unwillingly, tears sprung to his eyes, and he had to grip Junsu's hand tightly to keep from sobbing. Junsu's eyes were instantly full of fury.

    " you. all of you. You're self-centered pricks who deserve every bad thing that ever happens to you," he ground out to the SHINee members, and he grabbed Taemin. He put his shoes on and carried Taemin out the door. Minho and Key snatched their tickets up, afraid Onew and Jonghyun might rip them too. Minho turned to Onew and Jonghyun and his anger was clear on his face.

    "I'm so ing disgusted with you both right now, hyungs. You're unbelievable. Now Taemin-ah will hate us all for the rest of his life. Thank you both so goddamn much for that," Minho slammed his fists on the table. Onew and Jonghyun flinched, and their expressions were alarmed.

    "Minho-ah," Key finally spoke up. Minho stopped and looked over to Key. He'd been unusually quiet during the whole thing. Minho knew that something had happened between Key and Taemin, but he didn't know exactly what had happened. Minho was glad he'd spoken up, though. Otherwise, he would have done something he regret. Like beating the crap out of Jonghyun and Onew. Key stood up and motioned for Minho to follow.

    "I can't believe that ing had the nerve to come back and ask us to go to his wedding," he heard Jonghyun say. Minho lost it. He turned back and punched Jonghyun square in the nose, and he heard a satisfying crunch.

    "You say another word, Jonghyun, and I won't stop at breaking something," Minho's voice wavered and broke. Onew held up his hands in a sign of peace when Minho looked at him with fury in his eyes.

    "Jonghyun-hyung, what would you say if you knew there was someone else in this dorm that was a 'ing '," Key said the words with obvious distaste. Jonghyun looked at Key.

    "I'd say that they deserve to be out on the streets too," he said in a muffled voice. Onew was in silent agreement. Key half-smiled sadly.

    "Then I guess I'll be packing my belongings tonight. I deserve to be out on the streets, after all," he said when he saw Onew and Jonghyun's eyes widen. "That's right. I'm gay. And when Taemin was here, I was his boyfriend. I was ashamed of being gay, so when you fucking idiots were putting Taemin-ah down, I panicked and did the same. And I've paid for it dearly."

"The man I love is getting ready to marry someone else and he moved on. What did I get? A broken band and a bad mental aftertaste. The regret and self-loathing I have to live with is something I hope you 2 experience soon, because it ing . So congratulations, you ing homophobic motherers. I'm leaving," he said harshly and slammed the door to his bedroom shut.

Minho stood there silently before getting up and going to his own room. He looked back at Onew and Jonghyun, who sat in silent astonishment. He shook his head and looked back with spiteful eyes.

    "I am too. Keep your sorry record deal. I'd rather have a clear conscience," Minho slammed his door,  no doubt going to pack his things. The members didn't have much stuff in the first place, except their clothing and personal care items. Most of their things were still back with their parents.

Jonghyun and Onew were embarrassed, but also angry. Admitting they were wrong was hard for them, and it was something they were both unwilling to do. They blinded themselves with anger and prejudice. It was easier that way.

~

Taemin held onto Junsu tightly, wanting to hide for the rest of his life. He was highly embarrassed. He knew, rationally, he didn't have a reason to be embarrassed. But he couldn't help it. He'd been humiliated in the worst way possible. He'd tried hard to be nice and civil to people that he couldn't stand. But they'd thrown his civility back in his face.

Junsu rubbed Taemin's back soothingly. He was angry with himself that he'd forced Taemin to come back to South Korea. He should've just taken Taemin's word that it would be better to forget the whole thing. Sure, he hadn't known that Onew and Jonghyun would react that way, but that wasn't the point. Taemin was hardly ever wrong when he said that it was better to forget something, and Junsu should've known that by now. They'd been dating for 3 years after all.

    "Taemin-ah, I'm so sorry. I should've just taken your word that it was better to forget about it," Junsu murmured against Taemin's collarbone. He placed small kisses up and down Taemin's neck.

    "No, hyung. It's okay. At least I know now that they'll never change," Taemin sniffed, and smiled to show he was okay. Junsu's heart broke. He kissed Taemin's lips tenderly and sweetly, trying to show Taemin all the love he felt for him. Taemin had fresh tears in his eyes when Junsu pulled away.

    "I love you, Taemin-ah. I always will," he pulled Taemin against his chest and draped his arms around Taemin's stomach. He felt Taemin's breathing even out and when he looked down, he saw Taemin sleeping peacefully. He kissed the top of Taemin's head gently.

He extracted himself from Taemin's arms and went to get on his laptop. He was going to see if he could get a flight back to their home in the next couple of days. They were supposed to be in South Korea for a week, but Junsu knew that being in South Korea for longer than necessary would only cause more stress to Taemin. And their sole reason for the visit had already been accomplished, so what was the use in staying anyway?

~

Key and Minho were out of the SHINee dorm by the next day. Onew and Jonghyun looked on with sadness, but didn't dare say anything. Because admitting to being sad was only a couple of steps away from admitting they were wrong and Onew and Jonghyun didn't want that. Minho and Key got a shared hotel room until they could find more permanent housing. Key was staring off into the distance when he spoke

    "It kills me, you know. Knowing that Taemin-ah is happy with someone else," he looked at Minho and he had tears in his eyes. "It took me a few years, but at least I finally got the courage to speak up for myself." He couldn't help the tears that started falling down his cheeks. "I really wish that person was me. I know I don't deserve a second chance, though. I was too much of a coward to admit that I loved him, then, so why should I do it now, when it doesn't even matter anymore?" Minho felt sorry for Key, and he hugged him tightly.

    "I think you should fight for him, hyung. If you love him that much, you can't let go without a fight," Minho said. "At the very least, he should how you feel before he leaves South Korea again." Key nodded in understanding. He did owe Taemin that much.

~

When Taemin opened his hotel room door, he was hardly expected Key to be standing there, looking extremely awkward and unsure of himself. He opened the door wider, indicating for Key to come in. He looked around before looking at Taemin.

    "Er, where's your... fiance?" he internally cringed at the word. 'It should be me' he thought. And his conscious brain agreed. Taemin's face lit up in a soft smile.

    "He's out getting some souvenirs to bring back to his sister. I'd be out with him, but every couple needs their time apart," after hearing that, Key was inexplicably saddened. He smiled weakly.

    "Taemin-ah... I wanted to apologize. What I did... it wasn't right. I was an idiot, and I'm really sorry that I acted that way. But me and Minho are both no longer a part of SHINee as of yesterday. Onew-hyung and Jonghyun-hyung both know now that I'm gay, and that I was your boyfriend," Taemin was surprised and shocked. He had hardly expected anything of the sort when he saw Key at the door. Key took his hand.

    "I'm not asking for anything more, Taemin-ah, but please at least listen to what I have to say. After you left, I couldn't function right anymore. I was so full of regret and self-loathing that I found... less than healthy ways to cope," Key lifted his shirt and pulled his pants and boxers low. Taemin gasped at the many scars that littered Key's hipbones. "And even after all these years, Taemin-ah... I love you. I never stopped loving you." Key had tears pooling in his eyes. "I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I'd really like if you gave me one. And this time... I'd do things right."

Taemin was silent for a long while. He wasn't surprised that Key had asked for a second chance. Even though he was a secret boyfriend, Taemin had never doubted that Key loved him. Key had made sure that Taemin knew he was loved in other ways. He was actually a fairly decent boyfriend. But Junsu had picked up his broken pieces and put them back together. And he just couldn't walk away so easily from his savior. He looked sadly at Key.

    "Kibum-hyung, I still love you too," it hurt to see the hopeful expression on Key's face. "But... Junsu-hyung.. he healed me in so many ways after I left South Korea. I just can't walk away from him. I love him, Kibum-hyung." Key nodded, crying. He had expected that. It had been too long.

    "I understand. Have a good life, Taemin-ah. I.. I know it's selfish, but I don't think I'm going to be able to make it to your wedding. It would cause me too much pain to see you so happy with someone else," Taemin couldn't ask for any more than that. He nodded in understanding and Key got up, rubbing the tears out of his eyes. He walked out the door and bumped into Junsu as he was leaving. He grabbed Junsu's arm.

    "Take good care of Taemin-ah. He deserves it," Key let him go and walked away towards the elevators. Junsu was confused before he opened the door, dropping everything to hug Taemin and take in his scent.

    "Mmm, you always smell so good, Taemin-ah," he mumbled dreamily. Taemin chuckled.

    "Because I take a bath every day, silly," Junsu just smiled goofily.

~

Minho's heart ached to see Key so down. He wanted to help his hyung in some way, but he didn't know how. All he'd been doing was buying Key's favorite ice cream and watching drama reruns with Key.

    "Hyung, let's go somewhere today," he suggested. Key raised an eyebrow in question and shrugged his shoulders before getting up and going to take a shower. Minho was excited. He knew exactly where to take Key.

Key was astounded when he saw that Minho had brought him to a small, out-of-the-way aquarium. He'd never been there before, and the fish the aquarium had were interesting creatures. He supposed they were probably deep-sea fish, because he did see a couple of angler fish. They were ugly, nasty-looking things in person. Key shuddered and moved towards the jellyfish with an increased pace.

He was suddenly struck by the jellyfish. They were such beautiful creatures, and yet one touch could kill a human being. He didn't realize he was staring at the jellyfish until Minho came to stand in front of him. He spaced out a lot lately. He looked at Minho, crossing his arms and slightly frowning.

    "Well?" Key asked. Minho sighed and hung his head in defeat. Key hadn't heard a single word he'd said. Typical. Every time he got the courage to confess that maybe he liked Key as more than a hyung, Key didn't hear. And Minho was not the type of person who liked repeating himself. But he was highly irritated at this point and didn't care.

    "I said that maybe I think of you as more than a hyung. I... I think I might actually like you, Key-hyung," he said and blushed. It was a rare sight to see Minho so unsure of himself. Key was touched. What the hell? Key figured Minho had been there when he had no one else, and he thought that just maybe... he might like Minho as more than a dongsaeng. He was willing to give it a try, at least. Because when it came to Minho, there were always things he left unasked and unsaid. He wouldn't be Minho if that wasn't the case.

    "Well, Minho-ah, maybe I think of you as more than a dongsaeng. Maybe I actually like you too," Minho's face lit up and he hugged Key before tentatively kissing him. Key didn't feel fireworks, or an electric spark. He felt warm and comfortable, and he supposed that was alright with him. More than alright, actually.

~

When Minho and Key showed up 4 months later at Taemin's wedding, he was overflowing with happiness when he noticed that they were holding hands and kissing in public. His fondest wish was that his friends could find some form of happiness. And to see that wish fulfilled on his wedding day was the icing on the metaphoric cake.

Jonghyun and Onew ended up being booted from SM Entertainment because their performance quality and voice quality had declined quickly in the months that followed Minho's and Key's departure from SHINee. They both remained too proud to admit that they were wrong because their pride was all they had left. The rest of SHINee also saw something that Onew and Jonghyun refused to admit even to themselves. Either that or they just didn't know they were attracted to each other.

Taemin would guess that they refused to admit it to themselves because they were already so in denial about everything else. It was sad, because if only they'd start admitting things... They'd both be happier people.

Minho, Key, and Junsu all thought that they deserved to be miserable. And in a lot of ways, Taemin agreed with them, but he still believed everyone deserved a chance to be happy. When he knocked on their apartment door, he was slightly surprised to find that they welcomed him civilly and treated him fairly decently. Taemin didn't stay long. He had really only dropped by to offer advice.

    "Admittance is the first step to being happy, hyungs," he looked both of them in the face. "I should know. I didn't become okay with being gay as soon as I realized it. It took time to be comfortable with it." Jonghyun and Onew looked extremely uncomfortable with the topic, but they were striving to be polite, and Taemin noticed this.

"Also, hyungs, it's okay to be wrong. People make mistakes, and big ones. It's how we learn. No one blames you, and we all forgive you." Taemin stood up. "And another thing, hyungs, you should just accept that you like each other already. You've shown so many of the signs of denial... It's kinda sad, really." Jonghyun and Onew both blushed bright red. They both started unconsciously rubbing their necks and when Taemin noticed that they both had fading hickeys, he smirked.

    "Or maybe you've finally moved past denial and you're now in that experimentation stage... That's always a fun one," Taemin winked and skipped out the door while cheerfully ignoring all the shouts behind him. Oh, he couldn't wait to get home and tell everyone about Onew and Jonghyun. In a way, they'd gotten their just desserts. Being homophobes and then falling in love with each other? To Taemin's way of thinking, that was the perfect karmic payback.

__________________________________________________

I hope you enjoyed this oneshot. ^.^ It basically flew from my brain to the screen.

Thanks for reading. :)

~~

Til next time fair, readers. ^o~ ♥♥