In movies and books, there are things that are often very accurately portrayed.

However, just as often, there are things in movies and books that are so grossly wrong and inaccurate that it’s almost laughable. Almost.

Taemin knew this. He did. But it didn’t stop him from trying to woo a certain someone that had been in his dance class for several months. Jongin was a quiet boy, and he was known to be incredibly shy. Everyone in Taemin’s class was curious about the boy, but no one wanted to approach him. He gave off some kind of.. unapproachable aura, which Taemin thought was ridiculous of his classmates to say.

After an entire day of pent-up frustration, Taemin decided that he’d had enough of tip-toeing around and pretending to not be interested in Jongin. He marched purposefully up to Jongin and smiled, despite the furious blush on his face.

    “Hi,” Jongin looked up from his position sitting against the wall. He smiled slightly.

    “Hi,” Jongin replied back with equal cheerfulness. “So.. what brings you here, Taemin?” Taemin shrugged.

    “I..,” the blush deepened on Taemin’s cheeks. “I wanted to get to know you.” It was the truth, and it sounded just like a lame excuse. Jongin laughed.

    “Right. You sure it’s not because the girls over there are giggling and pointing at us?” Taemin groaned when he realized his sister Sulli and her friend Krystal were, in fact, giggling, and muttering about how cute they were.

    “Yep. I’m sure,” Taemin sent a clear signal to back off when he rolled his shoulders and smiled. “So. I’ve heard people calling you Kai. Is that a nickname or something? How’d you come by that?” Jongin smiled softly.

    “My mom used to call me Kai when I was a kid, and it sounds pretty decent as a nickname, so.. I kept using it,” Taemin nodded.

    “That is cool. So.. is it okay if I call you Kai?” he asked and Jongin shrugged his shoulders.

    “Call me whatever. I don’t really care,” Taemin smiled widely.

That was the start of a relationship. Kind of.

After a couple of months, Taemin felt like he couldn’t go a whole day without talking to Kai. He texted him cute messages, and when they couldn’t hang out, they Skyped. And when they absolutely didn’t have any contact.. Taemin was positive that the day couldn’t pass fast enough.

He was acutely aware that he had all the classic symptoms of being in love. And it scared him, because he’d never been this in love with another boy. He didn’t even know if Kai felt the same way, which made the decision to tell Kai about his feelings so agonizing. Should he do it, and risk their friendship? Or should he just leave it alone, and suffer in silence?

Another couple of months passed and it got to where Taemin simply couldn’t handle it anymore. He was at Kai’s house, laying his head against Kai’s chest when he just.. blurted out the truth.

    “I love you, Kai,” he murmured, and froze. Heat rushed to his face and he slowly pushed himself off of Kai. He didn’t look at Kai’s face. He sighed, deciding that he might as well go ahead and say the rest. “Not as a friend… As a lover.”

The silence was suffocating, and Taemin started screaming at himself internally for ing things up. He glanced back at Kai, to see his expression and his eyes widened in surprise. Kai looked almost as embarrassed as he did, but he was biting his lip and smiling.

    “I like you too, Taemin… A lot. To be completely honest, I’ve been trying to gather up the courage ask you to be my boyfriend for weeks now,” Taemin’s face flushed even more at the word.

    “Well then.. Let’s make it official,” Taemin whispered before he kissed Kai softly. Kai responded wonderfully, and he wrapped his arms around Taemin, clinging to him tightly.

That was the start of their downfall.

Taemin really didn’t understand how it had happened. Soon after they started dating, Kai became distant. He didn’t like to be touched, while Taemin craved physical affection. Kai hardly spoke to him, and Taemin started making extra effort to be talkative during the times they spent together. When Kai actually came over, that is.

Despite all that, Taemin was happy. But he was blinded by love, or else he would’ve seen the end coming. It had started hurtling towards them as soon as they decided to pursue a relationship, though neither of them had known that.

When Kai asked to come over a just a few, short weeks after they started dating, Taemin had no idea that he was about to be heartbroken.

    “Taemin.. I’m sorry. But I want to break up. I just… I can’t do this anymore. I thought I loved you as more than a friend, but I don’t,” Taemin felt his heart drop through his stomach, and he away the sandwich he’d been eating. ‘Always the bridesmaid, never the ing bride’, Taemin couldn’t help thinking bitterly. He smiled weakly.

    “It’s okay, Kai. I get it,” he laughed, and internally cringed at how fake it sounded. “We can still be friends.”

Not.

It was so much harder than he realized to try being friends. It hurt so much to see Kai, so much more than Taemin thought possible. He felt so angry and embittered and it was hard not to show it. He ended up avoiding Kai as much as he possibly could, up to the point where he thought about changing his dance class schedule.

He knew it made Kai feel guilty, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help the way he still felt about Kai, and how much he still wanted to be romantic with Kai.

See, in fiction, Kai probably would have realized that he actually did love Taemin the way Taemin loved him, and they would resume their relationship. Taemin would’ve been okay with all that cliché, sappy crap.

But fiction didn’t apply to their situation, so Taemin did the best he could to deal.

A month after their break-up, Kai was still obviously suffering from guilt and Taemin was still obviously upset about it. He just couldn’t bring himself to comfort Kai, even though he badly wanted to. Every time he thought about checking on Kai and making sure he was okay, he always wound up chickening out. He didn’t understand why.

Another two months went by.

Finally, after several months of silence and strained glances full of longing, Taemin mustered up his courage and smiled convincingly at Kai.

    “Hey, how’re things?” he asked casually, and Kai sighed deeply.

    “Not good. Family is getting to me,” Taemin had to clasp his hands together to refrain from giving Kai a hug, because he knew Kai didn’t like physical affection. He nodded sympathetically, feeling dissatisfied that he couldn’t help as much as he wanted.

That was the start of an awkward friendship. At least, at first. Kai and Taemin gradually slipped back into their comfortable selves, but Taemin held part of himself back. He didn’t touch Kai so freely anymore, and his smiles weren’t quite as genuine as they’d been before.

After all, it still caused pain to be around Kai. To hear him complain and not be able to comfort him as he wanted to. To want to just.. hold Kai. But this time, Taemin was determined to hold on to their friendship. Whatever the cost may be.

__________________________________________________________________________________

It's not as good as I thought it would be, but.. I hope you enjoyed reading anyway. c:

~~

Til next time, loves. ^.~