Eunhyuk's point of view

We reached the dorm and gathered at the twelfth floor. Everyone took a seat and waited for Teuk hyung to start. Heaving a deep sigh and looking as if on the verge of collapsing, Teuk hyung began. "We came a long way to the position that we are currently at and I may have just personally destroyed the very path that we have created through all the hardship and pain. " He shook his head at us before we could open our mouths to deny, "It's not that I want to bear the blame alone but as the leader and the oldest, I should have protected each and everyone of you better. I know that some of you here may also be thinking that if you all did something else, HeeChul and HanKyung would not have left us but it's already too late. Now, as we face another larger obstacle in our lives, everyone has to be strong, both mentally and physically, if we want to stand up onto the stage as Super Junior again. So, no one is to feel guilty about HeeChul and Hankyung's death. They made their own choices, and sadly, they chose death." My heart tightened in pain at the mention of HanChul's death and I found myself struggling to breath. The room started to spun and buckled around me as my brain began to shut down at the lack of oxygen. I didn't quite pass out but it was a near thing. Suddenly, the call of my name cut through the fog in my mind and my head snapped up at the sound. Hae's worried face met my eyes and instantly, I was once again grounded to this world. "Hyuk? Hyuk, are you alright?" Unable to trust my voice, I nodded. "Eunhyuk," Teuk hyung called me from across and I turned my head to look at him. "I know that you think that you were the one who caused HanKyung's death and the very fact that you witnessed his death was the worst possible situation to happen but it was not your fault. We feel grief and pain for his death as well but I'm certain what we felt could never be compared with yours. I know it's hard to speak of that accident but I really hope that one day you'll be able to share with us what you saw and feel so that we can bear the pain with you. Now, I won't force you or anyone else to do anything. It's been a long day, go and get sufficient rest, I have a strong feeling that we need that a lot for what's going to come soon." Smiling slightly, Teuk hyung dismissed us and each couple got into their rooms respectively. 

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When we stepped into the room, Hae suddenly hugged me from the back, his warmth body pressing tightly against mine. "Hyuk, I... Today was... " He sounded so scared and uncertain that I couldn't help but spun around to silence him with a deep kiss on the lips. I devoured his lips as if it was the only oxygen left in the world for my survival and he kissed back as fiercely. My entire world shrunk down to that wet and hot cavern of his as our tongues tangled and sparred. Suddenly, he pushed against my chest, breaking us apart. Stunned by what he did, I could only stare at him as he told me to go and bath first. Without another word, he left me alone, breathing harshly in the room and deeply unsatisfied. Sighing a little, I stepped into the bathroom and removed my clothes, feeling extremely exhausted all of a sudden. I the shower and let the cold water poured down on my slightly flushed body. As my body cooled down, my mind wandered and I told of what happened during the day. The feelings of despair and stabbing pain that I felt, when the reporter asked if Hankyung hyung committed suicide by letting himself get hit by a car because of HeeChul, suddenly rushed back up within me like a rising tsunami and I staggered against the cold wall. Teuk hyung may say that it was not my fault that HanKyung hyung committed suicide, but I know deep down that his death have inevitably left a black mark on me. Both my body and mind were growing numb as I remembered how stiff and body his body felt in my arms. I shook my head fervently, trying to push the numbing sensation away when my eyes lit onto a blade that was separated from the spoilt shaver. I reached out a shaking hand and took the blade carefully into my grasp. Maybe... just maybe, if I inflict some pain on myself, these numbing sensations would leave me. Before I knew what I was actually doing, the blade has moved towards my left wrist. I felt the cold metal on my skin and the thought that with just a little more strength, I would actually be cutting myself, doing actions that only someone who's emotionally unstable would do, snapped me out of the dangerous reverie. Dropping my arms, I stood, dripping in the shower with my forehead against the cool tile as I tried to pull the scattered remnants of my sanity back together.

The click of the bathroom door opening startled a shriek out of me and I dropped the blade hurriedly onto the ground. "Hyuk..." Donghae dragged out my name as I watched him struggling to figure out what he just saw. Quickly switching the shower off, I grabbed a clean towel nearby and tied it around my waist. "Hae, what... what are you doing here? Get out, I need to bath..." Turning him gently, I made use of his shock to push him out of the bathroom door. Sadly, he figured out what I mostly did just before I could slam the door in his face. Keeping the door open with one of his hand, he grabbed my left arm and pulled me out of the bathroom together with him. "What were you doing in the bathroom just now, Hyuk?" Hae asked almost hysterically. Not wanting to blow the matter that I did not actually managed to complete, I chose to remain silent, looking anywhere else but his face, hoping he'll let me off that way. Clearly, my decision to stay silence was a wrong move as he tightened his grip on me to the point of pain. Wincing, I tried to struggle against his hurting grip, "Hae, let me go, it hurts." I finally lifted my eyes to meet his and truthfully, I was shocked by the intense anger that was swirling within his irises. I actually forgot about the pain as I took a step back when Donghae literally growled in anger at me. For the first time in my life, the reason my heart thumped loudly in my chest when facing Hae was not because of love and passion but because of fear.