They say you see your life flash before your eyes as your about to die. But the difference in my case was that I wasn’t dead.

The last thing I remember seeing with my eyes open was Jinki's tall and strong back facing me, a shield as the noise of two loud gunshots filled the air. After that I felt chills run up my spine and the sensation of falling, falling into an endless abyss. Images danced around in the dark and noises filled my head as I watched what seemed like a movie playing in fast forward. Slowly, I started to realize it was my life's story, the people in it and all the memories. Suddenly I couldn’t breathe, the air was thick and suffocating at the same time, the walls threatened to close in and consume me whole when my eyes flew open and I found myself sitting upright on my bed.

Wet drops rolled down my cheeks as I hungrily in all the available air. My overwhelmed state couldn’t handle the pain of the 13 year old who just realized he had lost his father and the 19 year old that had watched his lover get shot. Memories that I had wished to have never lost now best seemed forgotten.

A soft knock at my bedroom door provided a distraction as I heard a familiar man's voice call my name. "Jonghyun, are you awake?" he asked. I took in some much needed air into my lungs and wiped the tears away while simultaneously answering without missing a beat. "Yes Dad" the words came so effortlessly out of my mouth, after almost 6 years it had now become instinct.

The door cracked open and Mr. Lee walked into my room and I blurted out the first thing on my mind even before both his feet passed the door. "Jinki, is he hurt or..?" I asked, my voice sounding hoarse and dry from not speaking for a while but overall what came through was the desperation in it.  I tried to push aside the other thoughts, like my knowledge of who he actually was and my regaining my memories because even after all this I still didn’t know what they were after. My mind searched for what my father could have told me about the army weapons Mrs. Kim had mentioned, only to come up with nothing even after everyone was convinced I had known something valuable about it. And that something was worth my father's life and the government's interference.

Mr. Lee stood his ground, his face depicting that he was uncomfortable and resistant to talk about the subject. But this wasn’t just anything or anyone, this was Jinki and not knowing was killing me. 

"Please tell me. Did she shoot him? Is he hurt or worse..because of me?" I asked while practically screaming in a panicked tone. Only now had I come to notice that I was out of my bed, my whole body shivering with nervous anticipation as I leaned on my bed side table for support.

No answer came, however Mr. Lee's face seemed confused, his eyes were wide with what looked like surprise as he took an advance in my direction. We were now standing face to face, painfully close as he looked directly into my eyes.

"Now listen to me" Mr. Lee said in a serious and dominating voice. "Jinki wasn’t shot. He would have been because he jumped in the way of the bullet before it was fired. However one of the agents managed to fire a bullet at Minsung’s arm in time, causing her to lose aim of her target as the gun went off. Her shot came close, barely missing by a few inches as it made a hole in the wall instead his brain" he concluded, the disapproval in Jinki's actions was crystal clear in his father’s voice.

I didn’t pay attention to that though as the new found information had been like music to my ears. Jinki was alive and I was going to be able to see him again. A small smile came to my face at that thought but the proximity at which Mr. Lee stood unnerved me. He refused to step back and I found myself trapped between him and the table which I was still holding onto for support.

"After we caught Minsung she confessed about everything. The reason for keeping you captive and every word she told you and so tell me Jonghyun" he whispered my name with slight warning in his tone, "do you recall any important information?"

His eyes were daring and cautioning at the same time as they looked down into mine, almost as if he knew.

"No" I replied with a confident and firm voice. I tried hard not to faultier and kept my gaze forward, my life was on the line after all. Mr. Lee seemed convinced and he took a few steps back but his warning look still held its place.

“So since you have been given too much information the risks have also stepped up. Minsung revealing things from your past will bring more attention to you as a vulnerability, be careful and just keep that in mind” he explains while walking to the door.

There was a pause as he stood near the door, no doubt contemplating whether or not to speak further. And after hearing what it was, I knew why.

“Jinki was reported missing soon after you were brought home and a day has passed since. He was last seen speaking to Kim Minsung before she was Taken away” he said the words “taken away” in a sense too obvious for anyone to know it was just used as a substitute for the real punishment.  I didn’t care what punishment she received as my mind was trying to wra