A/N - Countdown: 9 chapters! Yup, things are coming to an end. This should be the last 'past' chapter, the uh, older generation (?)'s story coming to a close and from now on, things should happen in present time (2010) bringing resolutions about and all. Well it's not there yet, so stay tuned.

And as for the reply to comment function, i don't think i'll be using them yet... I'll just keep replying via the chapters. Perhaps for my next fic i'll try it out. 

@ImaVIPbaby - Oh yeah~ *wink wink* Just for you~ A y, half- Doongie~ And *suspicious glare* do you happen to be a skarf fan? I don't know, just the simile sounded...kinda like a shot from skarf fans. I'm not saying i dislike them (i'm singaporean as well~) but ahh, i was just wondering~ Oh well~ And yes, ending soon ><

@wookielove - *hugs*, corner offer?

@ainnurdoongie - Yay! A minor achievement? Ahh, but who could hate him ^^ He's just like Sanghyunnie! Adorable and loyal~ Like father, like son!!! And hey! He's going to be my father-in-law as well!!! :p 

@T4kara - *hugs*, i'll look forwards to more from you as well!!!

Chapter 57 – With looking back, he chooses ‘what can be done’ instead of ‘what could have been done’ 

Tae Hyun POV

“You mean to say Sanghyun’s mother lied about the real reason for you leaving?” Ji-eun tried to wrap her head around the situation. Sanghyun himself had told Ji-eun a long time ago what had happened: his father had met another woman and then abandoned them all, running off with Sandara’s hard earned money.

Ji-eun remembered how Sanghyun’s eyes had hardened, an impenetrable shield where any spears of sympathy would merely bounce off.

“He left mum, he left Sandara and Durami and he went off with another woman!” he snarled, heated by his emotions. Ji-eun gripped his hand. Both of them were lying in the cabin’s small bed, feeling close, and sharing secrets simply tightened their bond. “I can’t believe he was so selfish to just take, take and take some more.”

Ji-eun brushed Sanghyun’s fringe away. “But most of all,” she said softly. “He left you, right?”

Sanghyun blinked. And then he realized this was true. He never wanted to admit it, but it hurt that his father – the other sole male in the household, the man who Sanghyun had always revered and almost worshipped – had discarded Sanghyun like last week’s trash.

No words, no explanation. Nothing. He had just disappeared and Sanghyun felt part of his heart close up. He was the man in the family now – and he had to protect his mother and his sisters. He would do what his father never did. To do so, he painted his father as the undesirable devil, the evil that could never be embraced. His discarded any evidence that would say elsewise.

But in his heart, there was a small part that wanted to get down on his knees and cry and beg for his father to come back and hug him like he always did. A small part he would only ever admit to Ji-eun. “I miss him.” Sanghyun confessed. “I miss him even though I should hate him. I don’t know why. Am I weird?”

Ji-eun shook her head and kissed his cheek. “You’re not weird. It’s not weird for kids to love their parents unconditionally. Look at me. My parents were always strict and sometimes cold, but I still love them.”

Sanghyun laced his hands with her. “But-“

But Ji-eun pressed a finger to his lips. “But nothing.” She said firmly. “There’s no point speculating right now. Until the day you meet your father and have a proper father-and-son talk, you will never know the full truth.”

Sanghyun nodded and bent down to kiss her lips.

“She did.” Tae Hyun nodded, his eyes clouded with sadness. But they weren’t bitter. “But I understand why she did it. She couldn’t tell them about Ji Young and she had to give a plausible reason for my leaving without making the kids want to come after me. I don’t hate her for it.”

“But now?” Ji-eun asked and Tae Hyun’s head shot up to look at her.

“Now?” he was confused.

“Now, you don’t have that obstacle anymore. Sanghyun and Dara know all about Ji Young and well, maybe it’s time for you to make amends.”

“No.” Tae Hyun shook his head. Impossible. Unrealistic. Not happening.

“Yes.” Ji-eun gained a hard look in her eyes and Tae Hyun flinched. It was much like the ones he got when Ji Min was certain about something and it usually ended with Ji Min getting her way. “There’s no time like the present. After all, I’m sure you didn’t just forget about Sanghyun and Durami and Dara after you left, right?”

I took a step back, surprised. Ji-eun was even more perceptive than I had imagined.

She stared at me, daring me to contradict her.

I sighed. She indeed was another Ji Min. She would balance Sanghyun very well.

“Yes.” I admitted. “After I left, I decided to clean up my act as Ji Min told me to. And I started by confronting Ji Young.”

About twenty years ago…

 “You what?” the shock in Ji Young’s voice was unmistakable, even over the grainy phone lines.

“I left Ji Min.” Tae Hyun repeated himself. “Therefore, don’t you dare ruin her life any longer, do you hear me?”

There was only silence.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Tae Hyun continued. “You only had a grudge with me, therefore I hope you let her and our kids live happily.”

Silence.

“Please,” Tae Hyun was close to begging now. “I know you love Ji Min and I know you loved Sandara and Durami and Sanghyun. For their sakes, let them grow up peacefully.”

An end to the silence. “No.”                        

“What?!” Tae Hyun was stunned. He had thought his friend would be reasonable, but right now he wasn’t sure anymore.

“I don’t believe you.” was Ji Young’s curt reply.

Tae Hyun was lost for words. What was he supposed to do?

“Prove it.” came Ji Young’s apparent solution.

That made Tae Hyun snort. “Really, am how am I supposed to do that?”

“That’s simple.” Came Ji Young’s soft and sly whisper. “Come and join me, brother.”

Tae Hyun froze.

“Come back to me and then I’ll believe you.”

“No.” Tae Hyun finally managed to stutter. “Ji Min would never forgive me.”

That made Ji Young laugh coarsely. “Really, brother, are you still worrying about that? If you truly left her, left her hard enough, then she wouldn’t want you back anyway. So come on, brother.”

Tae Hyun bit his lip, hesitation clear in the thick silence.

“Come back.” Ji Young said and his voice slipped slightly back into the old cadences of brothership that shared some secrets no other relationship would hold. His vulnerability was one of them. “I want you back with me. So please?”

Tae Hyun’s eyes clouded. He was trading one best friend for another. His wife for his brother. Could he do this?

“I promise I will leave them alone if you join me. I swear it.” And that sealed it for Tae Hyun.

“Okay.” He whispered, but it too quiet and the phone line too erratic. So he said it louder and it sounded like a promise. “Okay, I will.”

On the other side, unknown to Tae Hyun, Ji Young broke out in a big grin that even he didn’t know he still possessed. “Really?” he said, a childishly excited voice appearing. “Really?”

“Really.” Tae Hyun on the other hand sounded tired and he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall, feeling it was the last bit of support he had in this world. “I’ll join you brother, so keep you promise.”

“I will.” Ji Young said. But neither of them knew that it would only last as long as Tae Hyun’s promise.

Present time…

“So I went back to Korea and I joined the Syndicate, but I was never really a proper member. I never did anything much that would make me a criminal. In fact, all I really did was be Ji Young’s consultant.” I remembered those days. They were bleak without Ji Min but colored adrenaline rushing lime-green and bright-blue from being with my brother. I had traded one for another.

“But that didn’t last, am I right?” Ji-eun said.

“Of course it didn’t. It lasted long enough though. I was his right-hand man for far too long.”

“What changed?”

“I found out about Sanghyun and Dara. About what my ‘leaving’ had done.”

2 years ago…

Tae Hyun slammed the door close. Yet another mundane night come to an end. He threw his keys onto the table, tossed off his jacket and fell onto the couch. He groaned and let himself get comfortable before idly reaching for the remote and turning on the TV.

Thanks to Ji Young, he lived a life of luxury. Many of the other Syndicate members hated him for it – he did nothing and yet reaped the benefits so many wanted. The Syndicate was a flourishing business. It operated on the surface level as a small time gang, thereby avoiding police attention. However, in the underbelly it ran several illegal chains of drugs and tobacco and even shark loans. Ji Young did whatever he wanted to gain money – but he drew the line at selling people.

It was for that reason that Tae Hyun stuck with him. That and the fact Ji Young was keeping his promise. He had not make any reference to the Park family for years, and in turn Tae Hyun had chosen to torture himself by not looking for them either.

He knew any news he would find would just serve to highlight what he couldn’t have even more.

But it always haunted him – knowing that they were out there, they were living and laughing and he couldn’t see them. It haunted him into his dreams and sometime Tae Hyun woke up with tears streaming down his cheeks and his breath hitching like he had just run a ten kilometer marathon and he couldn’t remember what the nightmare had entailed other that the thick barrier of glass which he pressed against but could never break down. The barrier which held his family on the other side.

And now, it haunted him even on TV.

“Sandara Park of 2ne1,” The TV announcer declared and Tae Hyun’s mouth fell open to see his daughter – the once tiny girl who had gripped his trousers and asked him to lift her into the air – that little girl was grown up and in wearing beautiful clothes and gods, she looked just like her mother.

The rest of the words blurred out as Tae Hyun stared at his daughter, unable to believe she was there.

Until the next sentence penetrated his sphere of thoughts. “So why did you leave the Philippines?”  he asked and Tae Hyun froze. What lie did Ji Min come up with?

Sandara, beautiful Sandara, his little girl spoke in a soft yet controlled voice. He could tell she was a little nervous. “Well, one of the filming took place in my house and in the background was a poster of Se7en-oppa. I was a fan of him and YG entertainment saw this, so they offered me a position. And I took it.”

“Ah, so it was all thanks to your filming.” The MC grinned and Dara nodded shyly. “And now you’re famous as part of 2ne1, good choice!”

That made Dara laugh. “Yes it was.” But there was some sadness tinged to her smile and Tae Hyun knew she wasn’t telling the truth. But it was enough. He pointed the remote at the TV and in a flash, the screen went black. But it had intrigued him too much and in seconds Tae Hyun was seated at his computer and typing in those fateful words: Park Sandara, 2ne1, Philippines.

So many hits.

Things go sour for Sandara…

Sandara not so sweet as we thought…

Reason for leaving? Sandara’s father-

His mouse hovered over the last link, stilled by the word ‘father’. Impossible…

But it might tell me the truth, he thought. And that was too much of a lure for him to resist.

He had to know what Ji Min had told the kids, what had happened to them afterwards. And so with a tentative finger, he clicked open the links, feeling like he was opening Pandora’s box – not entirely sure of what was about to come but sure as hell knowing he couldn’t resist the urge. And just like Pandora’s box, what came out wasn’t hope – but despair.

So Ji Min had told them he had an affair, that Tae Hyun had run off with another woman. And that he had took Sandara’s money with me. So that was okay, Tae Hyun was okay with being the bad guy. But what came next shocked him.

Racy photos of his daughter in all black, her failing popularity in the Philippines and then their sad departure. He could only imagine the tears his daughter had shed. Gods, what had I done? He pressed a hand to his mouth and tried not to throw up.

He had thought he was protecting them by leaving, but perhaps, just perhaps it might have been better to stay behind and fight with them through thick and thin. But he be damned if he sat still on his any longer.

“No more.” He said, to no one in particular and shut his computer. 

Present time…

“I left Go Ji Young then. He had left us before, but this time I chose to part ways with him.” I grimaced at the memory. “And he was furious.”

2 years ago…

“You want to leave?!” Ji Young spat, spittle flying into Tae Hyun’s face. Tae Hyun stood with a cold mask like solid stone. “Don’t just stand there! Say something!”

“I said all I need to say.” Tae Hyun spoke calmly, a completely opposite to Ji Young’s livid expression. “I’m leaving this time because I’m tired. I can’t live this criminal life anymore.”

Ji Young stared at him. Finally he spoke. “Do you know what this means?”

“What?”

“Have you forgotten?” Ji Young tossed his head back and gave a mocking laugh. “Our promise.”

Tae Hyun stilled. “You wouldn’t?”

“I would.” Ji Young looked like some adrenaline-junkie, daring Tae Hyun to step just that little bit closer to the edge of the cliff. “Try me?”

“No.” Tae Hyun’s eyes were burning. “I’m still staying away from Ji Min and the kids. I’m not going back, therefore you have to honor your promise? I’m leaving, and that’s final.”

Tae Hyun stalked over to the door and threw it open.

But Ji Young had the last word. “Our promise,” Ji Young corrected him, forcing Tae Hyun to stop and turn at the words with a lilt of dangerous promise. “Only stood so long as you stayed with me.”

Tae Hyun stared at him hopelessly, not knowing what to do. He had made that promise so long ago, but he never thought that it would be just another thing that would come back to haunt him.

“What are you going to do?” Tae Hyun whispered.

Ji Young grinned. “I’m going to make you pay.”

And then he slammed the door close in Tae Hyun’s face.

Present time…

“I regretted my move instantly,” I confessed to Ji-eun who watched me intently, though her hands still clasps Sanghyun’s. “I hadn’t realized that the promise I made so hastily back then would cost my children even more.”

Ji-eun’s eyes narrowed as she seemed to calculate and piece together the puzzle pieces. “His revenge,” she said and I knew she had it all figured out. “He wasn’t going to get revenge by targeting Ji Min, was he?

I shook my head, wanting to deny that reality but unable to. “No, he didn’t.”

“And so he went after Sanghyun.” Ji-eun finished.

“That he did.” I whispered and leaned back against the wall, feeling the cold concrete seep through my shirt. “He wouldn’t go after Durami or Sandara – they remind him of Ji Min too much – but Sanghyun was just like me, and he couldn’t resist it.”

“So what did you do?”

“I started following Sanghyun. Ji Young’s actions were too unpredictable, like playing with fire, so I tracked down my son and I watched over him.”

“But it didn’t work out.” Ji-eun stabbed me with those words and I winced, knowing she didn’t mean to hurt me but she too was hurt that I had failed Sanghyun.

“No, it didn’t. Following Sanghyun was like following a blind sheep. He didn’t know what he was doing and so I was lost as well.” I reviewed those memories, like a sinner reviewing his crimes. “And so when he started breaking into Sandara’s dorms or driving late at night or even getting injured, I was helpless. What could I do? Approach him? He would just reject me.”

My tone was bitter and I knew it. “I failed him. What a worthless father I was.” I stared at my hands, my incapable hands.

“So you failed him in the past,” Ji-eun spoke is a tone that made me look at her. It was that sort of commanding, collected tone. “But that doesn’t mean it has to be the same now, does it?”

“You mean I should start making a better effort now?”

Ji-eun stood up, letting go of Sanghyun’s hand momentarily to place them on her hips. Despite her small stature, she held a fierce aura. “Of course. The past may shape our future, but it does not definite us. We have our own wills, the power to make our own choices. Therefore you,” and she walked over to prod me in the chest. I blinked with surprise at her boldness. “You have the power to help Sanghyun.”

“But what can I do?” I whispered, voicing the small little dark worries that resided deep in my heart. “I’m sure Sanghyun hates me. Don’t think I’ve not read those articles, about why Sanghyun is so protective over Dara. Gods, I’ve messed up her life entirely.”

“So what.” Ji-eun said defiantly, raising her chin. I stared at her, bewildered. “So make it better. He’s your son and you are his father. There is an undeniable connection and I know deep inside that Sanghyun still misses you.”

That floored me.

“He….he misses me?”

Ji-eun cracked a grin. “Of course he does. He was a little kid when you left him and all he remembers is you being some kind of hero in his mind.”

“B-but, didn’t his mother tell him all about me?”

“Of course she did.” Ji-eun shrugged. “But fiction and reality have a sparse difference, but a difference all the same. Sanghyun tried to imagine you as your mother painted him, but underneath he always retained the memory of you, the real you.”

“Should I tell him?” I finally managed to say.

And Ji-eun nodded. “Tell him.” She said. “Tell him and make amends with him.”

“But where do I start?” I blinked.

Ji-eun grinned widely and I found myself completely smitten with her. I would take her as a daughter-in-law any day. Sanghyun didn’t have a problem in that department, if, no, when, he woke up.

“That’s simple.” She smiled and took my hand, forcing me to sit down on the stood next to Sanghyun. “Why don’t you start by saying: I love you.”

A/N - >///< Aw, the power of love~

Rushing to upload this, coz i'm not sure what time i'll be back later, so excuse any mistakes. I'll check it later.