​A/N - So second chapter of the night as promised. Ji-yun's story comes to a close and we return back to the present where all hell is about to go down. Yay~ Pft, i laugh at myself sometimes. 

By the way~~~ I reccomend listening to 'That XX' by GD. It was the song i was listening to on contant loop whilst writing it. Somehow the mood fits is perfectly since the song is about a girl dating a guy but her friend (GD) telling her he knows it won't work out because the other guy isn't truly after her for herself. Good song tho~

@T4kara - Ahh, okay, so long as you have fun~~~ >< And i hope it does change your mood. *hugs*, hope things get better and you're able to enjoy your 18th bday party because its a once in a lifetime thing. Haha and loving the way you called them the 'three dorks' like they're a group or something~

@cazz_96 - Yup. Though she didn't really run away from home. Her parents let her loose thinking she got a job elsewhere etc etc. I'll explain later. 

@wookielove - Haha sorry to keep you waiting. And you're making me interested in this 'colourful palette'. Don't worry, i get the same at home. So this particular palette exists only in my mind.

@ainnurdoongie - haha we shall see about converting you~~~ And i did like your update. Unnie! Have more faith in yourself. (tho i do still have to comment, gimme a few secs on that) Chapter 17 was thrilling!!! Tho which part were you disappointed in? 

Chapter 50 – Without looking back, she wonders how cruel fate can be 

Ji-yun POV

4 months ago – June 2010…

“Do me a favor, Ji-yun.” Ji Young said careless one night as Ji-yun lay arched on the sofa and he barefoot and bare chested in front of the mirror.

“It will cost you.” She whispered, her fingers toying with a long silver necklace that he had bought Ji-yun earlier that afternoon, telling her it set off her dark eyes beautifully, like a glittering star amidst the dark sky.

He chuckled darkly. “I taught you too well.”

Ji-yun dropped the necklace to the thickly carpeted floor where it curled into a forgotten pile. It didn’t mean anything – none of it did. “What do you want me to do?”

Ji Young padded over to her, still barechested and caressed her cheek. “I want you to place cameras in three houses for me. My men will unlock the doors and ensure your tracks are covered. All you have to do is put the cameras where I tell you and connect them.”

“What are you after this time?” Ji-yun asked in a distracted voice, enjoying the touch of his smooth hands on her face and the feeling of being loved even if it was a mere mirage.

“Consider it getting my loan repaid.” Ji Young said, tilting this trailing fingers so that he twirled her long black hair around his fingers. “Will you do it baby?”

“I don’t see why not.” Ji-yun shrugged and leaned into his chest, reveling in the warmth as he wrapped his arms around her. “Take me out to dinner, okay?”

“Okay.” Ji Young smiled at her neediness and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “Anything for you baby.”

A faint smile traced its way across Ji-yun’s face, the sensation of being loved but knowing that it wasn’t so and yet still being okay with it.

Present time…

That was what I craved: having someone to meet my every need and shower me with affection no matter how bloodied and stained and tattered and yet for me to know this was something permanent.

 It wasn’t that flimsy piece of paper called love that might flutter away at the slightest breeze. This definitely wasn’t love. It was simply two people giving each other what the other needed and it was just what I needed.

We weren’t a couple. Not a boyfriend and girlfriend happily swinging hands and exchanging secretive kisses that made each other blush. Therefore I didn’t cry when I saw Ji Young come home covered in lipstick marks and purple bruises and smelling of perfume that wound round him the exact way a cat does. Neither did he make any remarks when I chose to ‘date’ Changsun. He would just raise an eyebrow and smirk in that secretive way of his, eyes gleaming as if it could unearth every secret I would hide.

But whilst it wasn’t as flimsy as paper, it wasn’t a fortress of stone and bricks either. Even the mightiest warrior may fall. All it takes is for someone to expose its weak point and then another person to exploit it. And then everything shatters and breaks and collapses. And just like every other monument of the world, our relationship had its breaking point and I was the first one to expose it.

1 months ago – August 2010…

“What is that?” Ji-yun demanded, scattering the contents of a brown envelope on the floor. A dozen photos flew out and scattered itself across the floor, creating a blanket of undeniable truths.

Ji Young leaned back in his chair and tilted his head. “What do you think it is?”

Ji-yun spoke in a disgusted tone. “Is this what you do to people? Do you not possess a shred of consciousness?!”

Ji Young just smirked in that annoying way of his. “What did you think I did? Hand candy to babies on the street?”

Ji-yun narrowed her eyes. “This is my sister.” She hissed and pointed to the half- picture of Ji-eun at her foot.

“Business is business.” Ji Young shrugged. “And she was the transaction.”

“Who owed you something?” Ji-yun felt a pang strike her heart as she came to an uncomfortable conclusion and Ji Young’s smirk widened as he answered her question.

“Park Sanghyun.” He leaned forwards, hands clasped and awaited her reaction.

Ji-yun didn’t know what to do. She wanted to rage and break something or perhaps collapse and break down. Instead, she fell into Ji Young’s spare leather chair and buried her hands in her face.

“Bastard.” She said.

Ji Young just grinned.

“Did you take me on just because you were going to hurt my sister and the man I loved? Did you do that just so you could hurt me more.”

Ji Young paused and thought that over. To tell the truth he didn’t know why he had picked her up other than the fact she did indeed resemble his younger, ignorant self. The self that had chased and threatened and sacrificed all for love – and it ended in failure. And for some reason, he hadn’t wanted to see the past repeat itself.

So he had picked Ji-yun up the way a storekeeper picks up an antique china vase and dusts it with the utmost care, treating it delicately and wiping it till pristine. And then in a fit of anger, he threw that vase to the ground and watched it shatter into a thousand ceramic pieces.

“Yes.” He said, wanting to see her reaction more than anything. Wanting to see his face all those years ago replicated on hers.

He was a twisted man and he knew it.

And she was twisted girl. “I see.” She said simply and her face lost all expression, turning into a blank slate. Ji Young frowned. He hadn’t expected this expression. His face back then had been twisted into pain, colored pitch black and scorched with the fire and burns and other warring wounds a soldier would wear. Ji Young tilted his head and examined her the way a doctor carefully peels apart a dead body to assess what abnormalities could not be seen on the surface.

“What do you see?” he whispered, wanting in only to be forced back at the gates.

Ji-yun’s eyes were black mirrors. Ji Young could only see his reflection and nothing else. “I see a cruel joke, a fate that was written before I was born and myself as a silly little puppet dancing to the strings of someone else.”

“What else do you see?” Ji Young was fascinated.

Ji-yun closed her eyes. “I see a foolish young girl walk a path she thought led to freedom and happiness but instead she found herself back to square one.”

“And what else do you see?” Ji Young probed.

Ji-yun closed her heart. “And I see nothing else.” And then she walked out of the room leaving behind a frowning Ji Young staring at a floor scattered with photos – pieces of his crime forever spread in front of him, constant and unforving as the stars. A world he could never run away from. 

Present time…

It was then I decided to break ties with Go Ji Young. Though the girl called Lee Ji-yun stayed by his side, accepted his kisses and embraces and followed his orders, the soul that was the other half of Ji-eun did not. I was just an empty shell at his beck and call and the real me was buried deep inside in a place where I planned to end it all.

I wanted to do something, anything. I wanted to free Sanghyun of Ji Young’s terrible hold and unlock Ji-eun’s potential crash of success and stop Ji Young’s thirst to destroy anything and everything.

Most of all, I wanted for once, just once, to do something good.

Sanghyun might have not known it, but I had long short-circuited the mblaq and 2ne1 cameras. I knew he had gotten to Ji-eun’s camera, but I knew the other two would be trickier and chose to take care of those myself. I knew Ji Young had known what I had done, but he let me do so with an amused smile. The way a cat watches a rat run and scratch at the doorway, amusing itself with watching its prey attempt to do something that both of them knew would all end in futility.

Earlier that month – September 2010…

“Why do you try?” Ji Young asked Ji-yun and she tried to hide her shock as his entrance, having not seen him slide into the room as smooth as a fox. Both knew that Ji Young knew.

“Because I don’t want to be the bad guy any longer.” She said as she fixed her dangling earrings to her ears.

“Why did you break up with him?” Ji Young said unexpectedly.

“With who?” Ji-yun lied, knowing fully well he meant Changsun.

Ji Young just leaned against the door and watched Ji-yun fasten her second earring on. “You know who.”

“Because I’m bad for him.”

That made Ji Young smirk. “And you’re not bad for me?”

“Of course not.” Ji-yun turned away from the mirror to look at him. “It’s like one drug to another. Both are so damn tainted it doesn’t matter how much more you inhale.”

Ji Young liked her analogies. “Are you saying I’m so pitch black inside that you can’t stain me further?”

Ji-yun liked his analogies as well. “In a nutshell, yes.”

“And what do you plan to do now? Go back to Sanghyunnie and beg for his forgiveness?” The thought amused Ji Young.

“Of course not.” Ji-yun said matter-of-factly as she pulled on one tall blue heel and tied it. “I’m not a fool.”

On the contrast, Ji Young thought she was a complete and utterly adorable fool.

“I’m going to end it all.” Ji-yun said and pulled on her second heel. Ji Young watched her fluid movements. Without knowing it, he had become attached to her over the last few months and as she strode out confidently with a matching blue handbag that he had bought her last week tucked under her arm, he grabbed her and kissed her forehead without knowing why.

“Hurry back soon.” He said in a smoky voice and watched her leave. He didn’t know why it hurt him to watch her walk away.

Present time…

But now he knew. Ji Young knew that perhaps he had become more than just a little attached to his young protégé. He had become fond of her, the way a mother cat adopts a weak runt-of-the-litter puppy just because they are so weak and so pathetic the mother cat can’t help but want to nurture it and raise it up strong.

It wasn’t love.

No it wasn’t.

It was a twisted and dark attachment and Ji Young knew it would be the end of him. So he was going to end it all before someone else could.

Go Ji Young pulled out his favorite knife, the one he had first christened with the blood of his best friend, and then aimed it at Sanghyun.

A/N - How was it??? I personally had great fun writing these super dark chapters lately, buuuut i don't know how you guys are recieving it. Too dark? I don't know. Anyhoo, that's it for tonight~

Oh, but if i had to put down on my favorite fluff ever, it would have to be this fic.  Grand's Request by eternal_chi It's a thunderxUEE fic. Unusual i know, but give it a try and believe you me, you'll melt at how adorably fluffy it is. Completed as well, a bonus~