A/N - Wow, fun chapter to write. All flames and anger and fighting again~~~ Woo maybe i need to a new life, all my fight scenes seem to happen in burning buildings XD

@ImaVIPbaby - Haha fluff, sure sure, that was what i had in mind when i started writing Dadoong's story. Ahhh i did mean to continue it buuuut i started getting too focused on Mea Maxima Culpa and meeting expectations of daily updates. T.T Also it didn't seem to get that many views and all so i thot it would be okay to drop until i finished this fic. But yeessss i have got more chapters planned for it. Thanks for reading it~~~~

Haha and i LOVE the sword. Gods i think you should just make like a file of all these faces and images so i can copy them (kekeke) and use their awesomeness!!!! I mean i ADORE the star wink face ^^ 

@ainnurdoongie - Wooo~~~ Progress!!! Slow and steady wins the race~ *hugs* get some rest unnie, another week ahead of you. Hmm and this chapter will explain the last part better. It was a little ambiguous i guess. 

@cazz_96 - noooooo he's not dead yet!!!! Actually i didn't expect that response from most people, but nope. Doongie's still kicking!

@wookielove - Haha speechless huh? (*koff koff* not going to point out the text) Haha, i jest~

@HanSang - Korea was goood~~~ Weather was so nice! And no >< didn't see mblaq at all T.T i think they were in japan then. Sobs. But i did manage to buy some mblaq merchandise and CDs!!! I got the Men in Mblaq concert DVD, yaaay!!!! Basically all i did for that week was shopping and going to Lotte land and Everland. Lols~ 

Yaaah, Ji Young and Ji-yun are so similiar in terms of their pasts and personalities which is why they connect. But in no way are they a real couple. And yeah, more explosions. Lol, i should've just named the fic 'explosive' and be done with. And nooooppe to the bomb. Explain in this chappie. Haha and thanks, i always get nervous when i write an action scene coz its so long and i remember all my teachers complaining how long i write. 

@T4kara - *hugs* thanks~~~~ Soooo you converting yet? Becoming the second person who doesn't hate JI-yunnie? And wooo~~~ Update!!! I shall look forwards to it!

And finally, thanks to helsmidori for subscribing. I finally have 40 subscribers!!! A brilliant, brilliant feeling~~~ 

Chapter 52 – Without looking back, she lets her love burn to ashes

Cheondoong POV

Am I…alive?

.

..

…

…. I’m alive?!

But what happened?

I pulled myself up to a kneeling position and pressed the heel of one hand to my face, trying to remember the events of five seconds ago. Blackness threatened to overwhelm me, like a tidal wave towering tall, but I pushed it back and focused by biting deep into my bottom lip. The pain brought me back to reality – ironically seeing as it was threatening to take me away from it as well.

Sweat ran down my cheek. There was sweat trickling down my forehead, fear invading my systems. Oh yeah, that happened.

My fingers curled, gripping nothing. A cold finger curled, pressing down on a trigger. Yup, that happened.

The scent of gunpowder filled my nose, making it crinkle with disgust and the urge to shy away urgent. The spinning of a bullet arcing down the barrel, the oppressive scent of gunpowder that made my hair stand on end, and my eyes water. Of course, how could I forget.

Fire, fire, burning bright. The world exploded in a blitz of light and heat and it spread everywhere, like a phoenix bent on revenge. Everywhere. Oh yes. The explosion.

And my senses returned.

The heat crackled, forcing my absolute return to reality. To this mockery of hell’s fiery chambers in which witches were burned at the stake and sinners screamed as their skin blistered like a chestnuts peeling. All around me the color of red, red, red burned itself into my eyes.

The room was on fire, somehow, I don’t know how, but now my brain had caught up to the present and I remembered everything. Go Ji Young had fired a gun at me, but in turn it had backfired upon him. Poetic justice in a sense.

But now was not the time to think of such things.

I struggled to stand up and failed. Instead I chose to make do with my half kneeling position. I had to get out of here… but…not without. Of course.

 “JI-YUN!!!” I suddenly screamed as I realized I couldn’t see her amongst the red. My now functioning brain reminded me of that silver dagger, of the bright red blood which was such a contrast to the flickering sea of orange and scarlet and of Ji-yun toppling over right before the gun exploded. But in doing so, I inhaled a heck load of smoke.

Coughing and spluttering, I brought my arm to my mouth and tried to breath. But the smoke was all invading. It snuck into my mouth and down my throat, constricting my lungs and making black spots appear in my eyes. I fell down choking and gasping for air that just wouldn’t seem to come.

But still, I strained to look forwards and see through the thickening smog that felt like a forest which grew darker and heavier, somehow pushing me down and constricting my movements. And then there was the ominous creaking above me.

I looked up, just as the bookcase fell down and then the world went blissfully black.

Ji-yun POV

Crackling fire and creaking wood was all I could hear. That and the pounding sensation of blood thrumming through my system, so painfully spiking at where the silver knife was still buried in my side. With all the strength I possessed, I gripped one clammy hand around the hilt and pulled it out.

Gods it hurt.

It hurt. It hurt so, so much.

But I couldn’t give up here. Not now. Not ever.

I looked up and squinted, trying to see through the asive wall of smoke and the of fire that seems to grow closer and closer. I tried to not huddle. I had done this, regardless of the fact it had not gone entirely to plan.

That’s right. I had rigged Ji Young’s gun. It’s quite simple. Guns have this one problem: if you jam the barrel, then it’s buh-bye to it working. And the stronger the blockage, the more likely the bullet is to jam. Then BAM the gun overloads and it explodes. That’s right. I knew Ji Young was going to use his gun – he always did when he was forced into a corner like a feral dog who bared his teeth as a last resort – but I had not expected this plan to coincide with my other one.

Which was burning the house down.

This house with all of its bad memories, of its devilish charm and the nightmares that shadowed me. I needed it gone. So I had poured gasoline, ready to take Sanghyun and leave and then burn the goddam place down in hopes it would burn away the darkness.

But instead, as always, my plans never worked out. Short-circuiting the cameras hadn’t worked because Ji Young already had all the photos he needed. When I tried to access those photos, he had grinned like a Cheshire cat and danged a thumbdrive in front of me. When I snatched for it, he had pulled it out of my grasp and smiled even wider, waving one finger in my face and then pocketing the thumbdrive. He was always one step ahead of me. 

“Things will never go to plan, Ji-yun.” Ji Young smirked and walked away, leaving me kneeling on the floor with an expression of thunderstorms on my face.

“They will, one day.” Ji-yun hissed, clenching her hands so tightly her nails dug into soft skin and left half crescents imprinted for hours afterwards.

Ji Young had turned around at that. His face was no longer mocking. Instead they were uncharacteristically serious. “They won’t Ji-yun.” His voice was filled with wisdom and that angered Ji-yun even more.

“Why not!” she snarled, knowing her voice was on border-line whining and hating herself for it.

“That’s why you’ll always be a child in my mind.” Ji Young shook his head and turned away.

“Don’t turn away!” Ji-yun yelled, getting to her feet and angrily striding forwards, her hand flying out and grabbed the back of his smooth purple shirt and wrinkling it.

Ji Young turned around in a flash and grabbed Ji-yun’s hand in a visor grip. Ji-yun’s eyes widened at the sign of violence – he had never demonstrated it before. She was suddenly scared. Even more so when his dark eyes flashed with a kind of danger that she knew resideded in jungle beasts like tigers and lions and jaguars who stood at the top of the food chain.

“Because,” he whispered so quietly she had to strain her ears to hear him. But it was the kind of quiet that sent shivers down her spine and made goosebumps appear. The kind of quiet that retained a warning tone: a vivid message that he was in charge and she needed to accept that. “You are a dreamer. So get over it.”

And then he released her hand and strode away and Ji-yun crumpled to the floor, realizing not for the first time that this was true and unfortunately would always be.

And Ji Young was right: I was too much of a dreamer. I had thought my plans to be perfect, to be able to burn everything to ground and snuff out the embers of nightmares. But that was why I was a dreamer: because I had expected it work.

A realist doesn’t do that. A realist plans a thousand different paths; he predicts the many futures that could come to pass and then prepares himself for each and everyone one of them – plus another hundred. A realist does all that and then when the moment of truth comes, he calmly picks the right plan and strolls ahead.

A dreamer doesn’t do that. A dreamer sees only one path and so only predicts the answer to that one future which could come to pass but might not come to pass, and then she prepares herself for just that one path – and no more. A dreamer does all that and then when the moment of truth comes, she picks her plan with an assured air of calm and then falls into the pitfall of her own plan.

And I am a dreamer. I expected my plan to work perfectly and when it didn’t, I crumpled into tiny puzzle pieces.

I had failed to connect the idea of the gun exploding to setting fire to the house. I had failed to see how once again I would hurt Sanghyun and I had failed to see how this would all end.

With crimson blood dripping from my side, a blatant contrast of the almost artistic waves of flame that ringed around me, I stood and searched for Sanghyun. I ignored whatever pain jolted my nerves and told my brain that I so desperately wanted to lie down and curl up and cry but warred with my thoughts who took up spears and shield and said a firm ‘no’. I ignored all that and stood forwards, ignoring the blistering heat and searching for Sanghyun.

And there he was, sprawled on the floor and half covered by a fallen bookcase.

“No!” I breathed, one hand over my mouth to stop smoke inhalation. I rushed over to where he lay and put a hand to his neck. “Please, please, please be alive Sanghyun.”

I held my hand there.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

“No.” Tears dripped down my cheek and instantly evaporated.

And then…ba-dum. A pulse.

Now tears poured down my face in earnest. Sanghyun was alive. Which meant only one thing. I had to get him out of here – alive and intact.

I reached under his arms and slowly but surely dragged him out from under the bookcase. I winced each time his limp arms flopped or when small whimpers of pain echoed out of his mouth, but I focused on the bigger picture. Sanghyun, healthy and happy and smiling.

Finally I had him out and lying on the floor. I was exhausted and the smoke was getting to me now, my heavy breaths from the exercise making my head heady. But no, I had to succeed. That’s right get out and-

“And where do you think you’re going, huh?” I spun around to see Ji Young, somehow still standing. And bleeding. Badly. He had his left hand pressed to his left eye which was caked in blood. From here he looked like an avenging warrior, brought back from the battlefield for the sole purpose of killing the man who killed him. A.k.a, me. “After all you’ve done?”

I gulped. “I grew up. I made my own decisions. Deal with it.” I tried to hiss, but it came out a shaky whisper.

“What you did with the gun was clever.” Even in his state, Ji Young still managed to praise me and it took all I had to push down the heart that swelled with pride. I could no longer accept his praises. I would accept nothing from him. “But,” he spoke and my ears pricked. “Do you really think I would let you get away with it?”

I stared at him. “Yes.” I finally said, drinking in the last sights of him...and then kicking viciously at the ladder which had been propped against another bookshelf. Like everything else in this room it was made of wood and the top had been burning bright with red, red and more red. The ladder fell-

-right on top of Ji Young.

And he screamed.

A horrific, brilliant scream. The kind of scream that would haunt me if I ever had nightmares again. I could practically hear the flames sear his skin, the sizzling so damn familiar to the sizzling of barbequed meat that Sanghyun, Ji-eun and I had cooked so many summers ago. I tried to swallow the bile in my throat and fought the urge to vomit.

I tried to avert my gaze, but I was trapped. Like caught by the eyes of a basilisk, my feet were leaden stone and my eyes were riveted on his burning, bleeding figure. Ji Young, the man who had picked me up and saved me. And this was how I repaid him.

I watched him scream, twist and turn and then run.

Out of the room and out of my life.

That was my last image of him: a burning man.

Everything was burning. Burning, burning, burning. Damn well burning.

I fell to my knees. Let everything burn. I was sobbing dryly now, tears not even appearing because of the invasive heat that every living droplet out of me. Dry sobs wracked my body and I hugged my knees. On ground level I could still see Sanghyun’s ashen face.

I had failed him.

I never wanted him to die, not this time round but kill him once again I did. I always let it end in flames didn’t I?

This time though, there was no one to help us. No way out: the flames had formed a vicious ring around us. We were trapped, we were helpless and most of all we were dead.

So this was how it ended, huh?

I leaned down next to Sanghyun and lifted him into my arms. He was so beautiful, even close to death and it killed me that all of this was my fault, that it was ending this way.

Please god, I begged. Please, do anything, anything to me. But just save Sanghyun. Please. If you ever grant me one wish, it would be this.

I leaned down to look at Sanghyun’s rising and falling chest. It was so goddam beautiful that I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his mouth. I couldn’t help it.

It wasn’t a romantic kiss or anything. No. Our lips were cracked and dry, the touch totally disconnected but to me, it felt like our last goodbye. Somehow it was fitting – it embodied our entire relationship.

I pulled my lips away and tilted my head back, letting myself appear as a sacrifice. I closed my eyes and waited for death to come in the form of avenging phoenix flames.

Let it burn. Let it all burn. Let my body, my love and my life burn. Let it all burn to ashes.

Maybe one day, it would be reborn. Like a phoenix out of the ashes. Yeah. I’m such a dreamer aren’t I?

But the only answer I got was the closing wall of flames that seemed to flicker and say, yeah, keep dreaming.

A/N - Did you like this chapter??? I'm quite satisfied with it~~~ Call it the product of loud, pumping music and the side-effect of being so hyper after reading so many good fics. That includes yours T4kara~~~~ 

And i just haaaave to tell you guys about this fic.  100 MBLAQ OTP One-Shots by iWantSushi Only five chapters so far, but uuuhh they are FREAKING FANTASTIC. Especially chapter 5 which is a super angst, super amazing Doongie story >< Omg i seriously could bow down and worship this reader~ No as well! So enjoy if you have the time!!!