A/N - And so, yes, with tears in my eyes, i present the final chapter~

@ImaVIPbaby - Haha, sure sure, next edit. >< I know, nearly over and i'll have to part with it. I guess maybe i should take some downtime and re-read my own story again :p

@womaninmblaq  - Hee hee~ I know >< I thought it was just perfect that Sanghyun, who was always the one to protect Dara, is now happily giving her away. *sigh of contentment* I think Seungho is proud to be worthy of her. Haha, and thanks~ I've still got ways to go for improvement, but i'm glad you liked it ^^ As for the DoongEun promise, you'll see what happened to it in this chapter~

@thunbii - haha buuut i LOVE your long comments~ Ah >< I see, so 45 mins is okay. I'm lucky coz i'm living in dorms near to my college. Ooo and psychology huh! Two of my friends are studying that as well!!! And today??? Or was that yesterday by now :p Haha, how was it~~~ Did you have freshers and all??? Or is there a diff tradition in your country? It must have been fun tho~ Hmmm more DuramixJoon??? We shall see~ I also picked Italy coz i wana go there >< Leaning towers of Pizza (jokes) and all!!! 

@ainnurdoongie - haha yeah, all the thinking and reading and understanding our lengthy posts XD Yeah, last chapter here >< Buuuut we shall storm the AFF world with our new fic!!!!

@HanSang - Yup fluff, fluff and morre fluff. Haha i looove that song, i just keep finding myself using mblaq song names here >< Aaah and u just rewatched Hello Baby, i feel like doing it now as well! I love Hello Baby and Sesame Player so much >< Buut it's idol manager season right now!!! 

@cazz_96 - i know >< But i promise to come out with more fics soon~

@wookielove - You may book your appointment for this afternoon, XD after this chapter is released!

@T4kara - i will dongsaeng~ This ain't the last you've seen of me!!!

And finally, thanks to midnightrainbow for bringing my total number of subs up to 45!!! Woot!!! And on my first super long multi-fic chapter. I'm blessed!!!!

Without further ado, the last chapter~

Chapter 65 – Without looking back, he continues to look forwards

Cheondoong POV

Five years later…

I couldn’t believe that it had been five years. They had passed in a flash of work and home and love in between.  So much had happened and there was still so much that could happen. I had been right, the future was my own to write and I wanted it to be a story that never ended.

Walking down the staircase, I decided that there was still a bit of time before we all met up for dinner, and it was only fitting to go read that. Striding into the living room, I pulled the book off the shelf, a wonderful pink color that Ji-eun had decided would be more tasteful than the ordinary black shade. Loopy words in lilac streaked the page, saying ‘Memories’.

It was a photo album, much like the one I had given Hyo Jin a long time ago in a hospital room, but this one wasn’t just of Ji-eun and I. It was of everyone.

And I opened the first page and smiled. It had been Ji-eun’s idea to take the flower bouquet and preserve them into the photo album, pressed and sealed but somehow still smelling just as fragrant as the day five years back. As I always did when I first opened the book, I leaned forwards and inhaled. In my mind I could still see that night when Dara left and when Ji-eun and I promised to be together forever.

Then I turned page after page, letting the fond and funny memories wash over me. We had all changed, all led our own lives over the past five years. But at the same time, we all stuck together. Like glue, it wasn’t easy to pry us apart.

For example, Changsun and Durami were now engaged. Durami had been blissful the night she came home, a shining ring on her hand and Changsun in tow. He had come over earlier to ask for permission – from both mother and me (funnily enough) – and after a few hours of interrogation that left him sweating, we both grinned and gave each other high-fives and told him that we were just teasing him. So long as he promised to take care of Durami, he was good to go.

The way his expression slid from fear to puzzlement to anger and then laughter was amusing. Ji-eun had rolled her eyes later when I recounted the story. But then he had launched off the couch at rocket-speed and said he would pick up Durami around 5.

I was happy that my other noona finally was getting married and with the man both she and I knew would be there for her, through thick and thin as they should. Recently, she had been bugging me about wedding details and I told her that a man never does wedding plans because the females will inevitably take over. She had sighed and then called Ji-eun over.

Their wedding is planned for July.

On the other hand, Byunghee and Hyo Jin have been married for years. They had dated for a while first, each learning about the others qualms and coming to accept that they loved every aspect of each other. There were no secrets between the two of them. And then, a year and a half ago, they had gotten married. 

Perhaps they had taken longer than everyone expected, but they had needed time to be certain and now they were inseparable.

Their wedding had been a small-scale thing; completely different to Seungho and Dara’s in which we had invited so many friends that the church had been packed. Instead, Byunghee had opted for a tiny church procession with just us mblaq members, 2ne1 members and his family and close friends. I had been surprised but gratified when he asked me to me best man.

“You were the one who brought us back together.” He said when I had asked him if he was joking. “Therefore, it should be you there behind us when we tie the knot for good.”

And now, Hyo Jin was pregnant and Byunghee was bursting with pride. It couldn’t get any better.

Actually, more than better, there was one relationship that had made us laugh for hours. Cheolyang and Chae-rin’s relationship. Cheolyang had been so embarrassed when he admitted it to us all, looking like it was the greatest life challenge he had faced since birth, only to be shot down when I bluntly told him that I knew already. His expression was priceless.

“What?! Hyung?! You knew?!” was all he could say. Even Chae-rin had laughed.

“I’m not blind. In fact, I’m sure everyone else knows already.” I and he looked increasingly embarrassed. Chae-rin scolded me for teasing him too much.

Even now they were only still dating, their relationship a tentative and sometimes awkward love story, but love all the same. And now a year into it, I was sure that question would come one day. 

In comparison, that question had come and gone a long time ago for Seungho and Dara who had been married for five years now. Instead, they were more preoccupied with a troublesome little boy named Leo. He had a cap of shiny black hair and a grin that just told you he was up to no good. The best part? Well, he hadn’t inherited his father’s panda eyes, but he had got both their good looks. At two years old, he already knew how to get what he wanted with just one look of his heterochromatic brown blue eyes. 

I knew too well at having to be the responsible uncle who babysitted his nephew. Don’t tell Seungho and Dara I told him how to get to the cookie jar without his parents noticing. Dara would wring my neck. 

But because of Leo, 2ne1 had broken up. Dara now had commitments to her mischievous son, but everyone understood. Bands don’t last forever and just because they break up, it doesn’t mean it’s the end. In contrast, you could say that it just offered another path forwards. Chae-rin and Bom had taken that opportunity to go solo whilst Minzy went ahead to become a famous dancer as she had always wanted to. My sister sometimes went back to the entertainment industry whether it was to collaborate with the other members or for an interview. It wasn’t like she gave up singing and being an idol entirely, but she just tamped down on it.

However, mblaq was still together. We were still dancing and singing and holding concerts as always despite out other commitments to family, but even I knew this wouldn’t last forever. Every band has its limits and I knew ours would one day approach. But ends were there for a reason: so that we could enjoy and appreciate what we had.

And even if the end came, it just meant there was another chance for a beginning. Evidence? It was in my parents who I had always seen as rolemodels and superheroes. Perhaps my father and mother had never gotten back together, but they were closer now, my father visiting every Sunday for lunch and afternoon chats. It wasn’t anything concrete, but it was something. And it was proof that there was always another chance. Who knows how that relationship would change. 

And I knew, whatever future and whatever chances I took, Ji-eun would always be there with me. As we had always done and always would do.

After Seungho and Dara’s marriage, Ji-eun and I had declared our relationship to the world. Surprisingly enough, the fans accepted it well. And what had followed was a peaceful two years filled with songs and duets and dinners. Ji-eun was still a powerhouse of the industry and I knew that even when the day that mblaq would break up came, I would still be with her, singing and dancing on stage.

I looked at the last photo in the album. It was a picture of all us just a month ago with Leo and Hyo Jin’s unborn child. We had made it a point to meet up every few months or so and keep in touch; ours was a relationship that we wanted to last forever. And it was times like this, looking back on photos and moments and memories like this that I knew I was happy.

A long time ago I had lost love, thought it gone forever and then miraculously regained it. I had fought to protect that one heart and I had gone through many things that most people never experience – tears, bloodshed and true loss. But I wasn’t upset about having gone through those things, no. Having met Ji Young and Ji-yun had reconnected me with my father and brought Hyo Jin and Byunghee even closer.

Had I not met them, not gone through the painful months of hiding secrets and sneaking out at night, then perhaps I would still hate and miss my father and Byunghee might have left Hyo Jin for good because she would have never been involved in that accident. Perhaps then, Ji-yun might have died a painful and bitter death at the hands of her illness and Ji Young continued to ravage the city with his self-destructive tendencies. Perhaps then, I would have remained alone for time onwards and perhaps Seungho and Dara would have never fallen in love.

Perhaps, just perhaps. 

But it all happened. And because of that, I do not regret the past.

I do not regret what it has also taught me: that secrets should not be kept if you are not prepared to deal with consequences, because consequences will always come. You can never keep a secret for life, never. And trusting and telling the truth may seem like the scariest thing on the planet, but doing so, taking courage and stepping forwards into the spotlight, you might just open another door to light. It is what I found out the hard way and it is something I will pass down to my children as a lesson so that hopefully they will never suffer what I suffered.

I will tell them how their father started out as a naïve and wary child who refused to trust others and as a result felt like the loneliest person on the planet. But that father then realized the cost of secrets, both holding them and losing them. I will tell them that they should find friends who they can rely on and when they do, keep them close to their heart and never ever believe elsewise because those when, and not if, they gain burdens, they should share it. They should never keep it to themselves because holding it all it and locking down that dungeon door can be the most painful thing ever.

And I will tell them how ever if the world seems dark and the sky bleak, they should keep walking on. Because just around the corner, just a few meters away, the person who will stay by their side through thick and thin might just appear. Sometimes all you need to do is open your eyes and walk a little further and never, ever look back with regret.

Just look forwards. Because there is always something lying ahead of you.

It is your job to make something of it.

“Sanghyun!” a voice broke me out of my reverie. “It’s time to go.”

I closed the album book affectionately, pausing to it the way I would Dadoong and then stood up to replace it. Ah, Dadoong. Even he had a happy ending with a pretty white tabby and now fourteen kittens to date. It was a hard time finding a good home for them all. Funnily enough though, the fans had been all to willing to adopt them. 

I walked down the hallways where Ji-eun was sliding out of the door, ready to wait for me outside. I followed suit by putting on my shoes. But just before I stepped out, I took one last glance at the photo by the door. Ji-eun all in white and beautiful beyond compare.

I smiled and kissed my silver wedding band before holding it out towards the picture. And then I locked the door behind me and walked forwards, to whatever future awaited me.

A/N - And so, with that said folks, the end has come.

Yes. The end of 'Mea Maxima Culpa'. I can't believe it >< I truly can't. 65 chapters that seem to have sprouted out of nowhere. But it's here and I hope that you have all enjoyed the story and perhaps from time to time come back to read it. I think i'll have fond memories of writing it, but there's always more to come. That's right, the future is right ahead of us and we should all look forwards to what may come!

For me, that'll start with university >< Oh yeah, uni. So any other stories i start will have slower updates, but hopefully i'll improve my quality over time! So thanks for sticking with me through this entire ride. Thank you for reading, for commenting and for essentially enjoying it. 

To:

THANK YOU ALL!!!!

The final chapter will be a timeline of the entire events. :p After HanSang brought up some errors, i made sure to write out this timeline to ensure everything matched. Oh yeah, and read the AN note of the finale ^^ I have a little surprise for you all~~~*wink wink* Well...maybe more than one surprise!!!

I'll get that uploaded by tonight~