Special Chapter

Donghyun's POV

"She needs a bone marrow transplant as soon as possible"

Those words keep replaying on my mind over and over again. The doctor leaves and I look at Sam, she is looking directly at me with concern and sadness, I just look down. I hate this, I hate that my mom is sick and I can't do anything about it. Why am I so useless? Why am I so weak?

Surgery, bone marrow transplant. How can I help? What can I do? I remember reading somewhere that you need a compatibility exam before donating. What else? it was something about direct relatives having the highest chance of being compatible. I know exactly what I have to do.

"Ajusshi, can I talk to you for a while?" I ask Sam's dad and we walk together to the hospital cafeteria. We sit in font of each other "Donghyun, are you feeling ok?" he gives me a pity look. I really don't need that right now. I don't want anyone to feel sorry about me.

"Ajusshi, I am sorry if this sounds impolite but I need you to tell me something" he looks surprised by my words but I keep going "I know that Sam and I are cousins so I want to know if you are my mom's brother or is it ahjumma her sister?" It is the first time that I say outloud that Sam is my cousin. I bet my voice trembled when I said that.

"How long have you known?" is the only thing he says "Three years or so but Ajusshi I need you to answer me"  he stays quiet for a while looking down but suddenly he looks at me in a weird way like he is examining me or something. "So you knew. That is why you rejected her, right?"

How does he know?? Did Sam talk with him about confessing her feelings to me?? No, that is not possible. Ajusshi has always been good at reading people but this is too much. "Donghyun, I am your mom's half brother" he says calmly. "Actually I am the son of your grandfather with a woman outside the marriage"

"I am sorry we never told you about this but your family didn't want anyone to know" I can tell by his voice that he is having a hard time talking about this, he must have been really hurt. "It is ok" I quickly answer "I just need you to do me a favor ajusshi" I take a deep breath "Please take a blood compatibility test. I don't know if I will be compatible to mom so please help me" I bow politely waiting for his answer.

"Of course I will take the test, you don't have to worry. I will tell Sam that she has to take it too" What? Sam? No, she can't. She can't find out that we are cousins, it will cause her too much pain. "No! Wait. Sam doesn't have to take the test. She .... she can't know" I won't let her be hurt again because of me, not after having to reject her feelings.

"Donghyun, you really love Sam, don't you?" his words make me lose my balance, I almost fall of the chair but I quickly sit properly.

He knows, he knows that I love her. Have I been that obvious all this time? I can't look at him but I can't deny it. I deny my feelings for her to myself but the thruth, the thruth is that I love her more than anyone in this world. He is Sam's dad, I can't lie to him. I just nod silently and don't dare to look up.

"Ok. I won't tell her that you are cousins but she will take the exam too" I look up at him and he smiles "Donghyun, you have to promess me that you will look at the results, ok?" I just nod. What is he talking about? I will obviously look at the results. 

"One last thing, please don't give up on Sam" he says with a kind smile before bowing slightly and walking out of the cafeteria. What?? Don't give up on Sam?? Does he mean that I shouldn't stop loving her?? No, that is crazy. Maybe he means I don't give up on our friendship?? Yes, our friendship that is all we can have.

I stay sitting there for a while just thinking of the possibilities. What if I am not compatible?? What if Sam is the only one compatible?? Then, she will find out that we are family. Will she hate me for knowing and not telling her about it?? If she finds out, she wouldn't want to see me anymore.

I start walking out of the cafeteria. I have to stop thinking about Sam and focus on my mom. I go check on her. I arrive to her room and I don't see Sam or her parents around. Are they gone now? Well, my mom is sleeping. She always gets tired after receiving treatment or having exams and she sleeps for hours. 

I look at her and sigh. Mom please don't worry, everything is going to be ok. You are going to be fine, I promise. After a while I feel like I am suffocating inside of the room, I walk outside of the hospital to clear my mind. “Donghyun!!” I see Hyunseong walking towards me.

He just stands in front of me and hugs me. I just smile and hug him back, Hyunseong you are a proper and polite guy sometimes stiff but when it comes to friendship you are as sweet as a mashmellow. Sam must have told him about my mom and I am grateful for that, I could really use some of Hyunseong’s advices right now.

“Hyunseong-na, thank you” it is the only thing I can say. We stop hugging each other and go to sit on a near bench. I tell him everything about my mom and how she is doing. “Hyunseong-na I am sorry for not saying anything to you before. It is just I…”

“It is ok” Hyunseong cuts me off. “I get it. If I were you I probably wouldn’t have told anyone about it either but Donghyun…” he keeps silence for a while “What is going on with Sam?” “What do you mean?” I play dumb. “I am talking about us changing sits, talking mean words to her. About you rejecting her”

Hyunseong is my best friend and I trust him, he is reserved enough to not tell anyone about this, yes, I am going to fully trust in him. “Hyunseong, Sam confessed her feelings to me. She likes me” I say slowly. “Then, why did you reject her? You love her” he says. My eyes open widely.

“I do, I love her but she is my cousin” we start talking about my feelings for Sam. How I found out about us being cousins and what her dad told me just minutes ago. We talked for a long time until we decide to go check on my mom again.

She is awake and we stay there talking with her, after a little while Sam and her parents enter into the room, we all ask my mom how she is doing and try to cheer her up. After two hours of chit chat my mom says “Donghyun why don’t you go with Hyunseong and Sam to eat something?” I nod and I get out of the room with them.

We go to the cafeteria and order. We start to talk about random things, both of them trying to make me laugh but I could just smile halfheartedly in response. Then, Hyunseong says he has to go and to say bye for him to my mom, leaving me and Sam alone.

After a few minutes of awkward silence Sam talks “Donghyun, thank you” she is smiling. That sweet smile that makes my heart feel calm and safe. “Why are you thanking me? I should thank you for telling Hyunseong about my mom” she just looks down “Thank you for trusting me and telling me about your mom”

I can only smile at her words. Sam why are you so good to me?? How can you thank me for that?? You should be mad at me for not telling you before, for rejecting you and for treat you like that at Hyunseong’s house but you are not. You are next to me comforting me and smiling at me.

“Sam, let’s go back to my mom’s room” we walk to her room. We arrive and enter. “Donghyun” my mom says with a weak voice. I go close to her bed and she caresses my cheek slowly “Donghyun, I don’t want you to be alone at the house” she says out of the blue “and Sam’s parents have been kind enough to offer themselves to take care of you”.

WHAT??? NO!! THAT MEANS… “I want you to live with them until I get better, ok?” NO!! I WON’T!! I CAN’T. MOM WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS?? “Donghyunnie, promise me” she says in a whisper. Donghyunnie, that nickname, she is really worried about me, I can’t let my mom worry in her condition.

BUT I CAN’T GO THERE. I CAN’T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE WITH SAM!! “Donghyun…” my mom says like waiting for my reply. “Ok mom, I promise. Don’t worry about me, ok?” she nods. “Good, now I would like to sleep ” she says while closing her eyes.

I kiss her forehead and I turn around, realizing there is no one else in the room. When did they get out? I take a deep breath before stepping out of the room. I see Sam sleeping on a chair and her parents looking at me. “Donghyun, let’s go” her dad says patting my back.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?? WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO?? 

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Hello!!! Updating again wiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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Anyway, thank you for keep reading and don't forget Janus is just a few days away!!!   11.08.12

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