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A/N Ok, so before you go on, let me just say this is a pretty slow chapter. I felt like this was necessary to include so...

please don't give up on me >< I promise next chapter will include lots and lots of fluff. 

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Luhan’s POV.

 

As we waited for the rain to stop we just kept talking about nothing.

 

For some reason, even though I am head over heels for my bun, I find it so easy to talk to him.

 

It’s like I don't even have to try.

 

We talked about our school life and how he had to drop out in order to pay his debt.

 

He even told me about his innocent crush on his friend Tao. Which I admit made me want to punch the wall.

 

Still, I noticed how he was holding back from revealing too much.

 

He told me a lot about himself but for some reason I still felt like I didn't know anything about him.

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

Baozi asked with curiosity.

 

We were about 8 meters away from the crowded sounds of fun and the smell of candy apples and pie and ice cream drenched in rain of the carnival.

 

Only the downpour of the rain could be heard and I couldn’t decide if the noise was soothing or annoying.

For some reason I had this strong urge to some more.

 

A sort of pay back for telling me about his crush on Tao.

 

“Oh just thinking about my friend back in china. I miss him a lot."

 

My Baozi looked out to the side biting his lip.

 

“Is it the same friend you told me about? The one you are really close to?”

 

“Yup. He’s really great and one of the coolest people I know! He kind of has a bit of an attitude but he will always look out for you.”

 

“He sounds nice.” My baozi face suddenly turning even more sour after every word.

 

“He’s really attractive too.” I added casually

 

“Then why don’t you take him to a carnival?” I watched as he balled his small fists tightly against his thigh awkwardly.

…It can’t be, are you jealous?

 

No, that’s impossible.

 

I grabbed my baozi’s hand swinging him around abruptly so he would face me. I tangled both of our hands and looked deeply into his eyes.

 

“And why would I care about going through all the trouble of going to my first carnival with him, when I could just wait twelve years for us to meet again and go with you instead?"

 

“But he’s your friend from back home.”

 

“You are my home.”

 

He lowered his head facing his drenched shoes.

 

"You're so lame"

 

Still, he wasn’t able to hide that bright color that painted his cheeks.

 

I stopped counting his blushes when it became too difficult to keep up.

 

I caressed the side of his head and lowered it softly so his cheek would lie on my shoulder.

 

I was glad he didn't protest.

 

I let the left side of my face rest on his head as I brushed my fingers lovingly through his hair.

 

There’s still so much I don’t know about you Baozi.

 

“What are you-"

 

“Tell me ten things about you.” I said softly.

 

“W-well what do you want to know?” He stuttered.

 

The caution and worry in the tone of his voice didn't go unnoticed.

 

He knew what I was referring to.

 

An idiot could tell he didn’t want to have this conversation but I desperately needed to hear it from his voice and not the judging and 

hatred rumors that I’m forced to listen to day by day.

 

 

“The things I don’t know….Things like why does Yoogeun call you ‘dad’?”

 

He slowly detached himself from our embrace and I instantly missed his warmth.

 

“Okay but I think we need to get comfortable for this" He laughed humorlessly.

 

.....We were comfortable before....

 

I nodded silently…I hated how I felt like I was forcing him to tell me.

 

 He shouldn’t even have to tell me anything. Who am I to him that he needs to reveal his personal life, when he obviously tries so

hard to hide it?

 

He scooted closer to me(as if we weren't close enough already) and intertwined my fingers with his, I just hope my Baozi doesn’t have other ‘kids’ that I don’t know about….

 

Don’t worry love, whatever you tell me I will still love you…

...wait!

 

Is my sweet bun really holding my hand by himself?! Someone better take a picture! Where are those annoying reporters when I need them!

 

MINSEOK POV

 

 

We sat silently inside the small walls of the plastic igloo, staring blankly at the snow patterns that complimented it.

 

Luhan politely waiting for me to break the silence…But that would mean telling him everything.

 

And I’m not going to lie, I’m scared.

 

Scratch that, I’m terrified!

 

How am I supposed to tell him about Yoogeun’s real father?

 

That he doesn’t even know he exists! How am I supposed to tell him that his family was the cause of my own father’s death?

 

That I waited years and years for some hope of revenge!?

 

I glanced over at Luhan who was fidgeting like mad in his position. Scratching the back of his ear and nose, crossing his legs and un-crossing them, puffing out his cheeks and blinking excessively. Still, he didn’t let go of my hand…

 

It’s amazing that even when I’m all nervous and just about to puke out my stomach he still finds a way to make me laugh.

 

“What?” He asked referring to my laughter.

 

“You.”

 

“What about me?”

 

“Never mind” I chuckled.

 

“So Yoogeun huh.” I said freely. Deciding to just jump on it.

 

Luhan froze. Searching for something he could fix his eye on.

 

“We have the same mom, but not the same dad… My father passed away a long time ago and our mother is slowly dying at the hospital.”

 

The tears in my eyes threatened to escape with every word that spewed out of my mouth; I didn’t dare look at his expression.

 

Shock, sorrow, pity…..

 

 

If I saw those emotions on his face, I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish.

 

And I refused to break that easily…at least not now.

 

 

I kept my empty stare on the space in front of me and continued.

 

“My father wasn’t a thief. He was a doctor and an honorable father and husband. He played with me whenever I asked, bought me whatever I wanted, never hit me or yelled, and even sung me to sleep whenever my mother was too busy. He was pretty bad at it though. Yeah, I was pretty much spoiled when he was around."

 

I laughed as I remembered the husky voice of my father’s. 

 

“He did everything a dad would do with his son. He took me to the park almost every day, taught me how to play soccer, ride a bike,

not to lie or steal...

 

Just like any little boy, I wanted to be just like my father when I grew up; graduate at the top of my class, get into medical school, be someone that everyone could admire…but then he died.

 

I was eight. After my father’s death, I didn’t speak for a whole year. I guess you could say I was in shock."

 

The room was silent as he listened to my every word.

 

".....I pretended as he was still with me though. I rode my bike to the park, played soccer, pretended I was a doctor, ate next to where he sat, and played his voicemail every night before I went to bed.

I don’t know when it hit me that he left me.

Was it when there was no one to pick me up when I fell of my bike, when the ball didn’t come back to me when I kicked it, when my

mother didn’t sing a single note to me after his funeral, or when I glanced at the seat next to me and it was empty...

Whenever it was, I got angry. He always taught me that one day I would be the man of the house, but I didn’t realize it would happen a lot sooner than I expected it to be.”

 

The tears have long been escaping my eyes.

 

I looked over at Luhan whose expression was a lot worse than mine.

 

His sweater (or should I say my sweater) was dripping in his tears.

 

But I shook my head and tried my best to ignore him.

 

But it was useless; my heart ached at the thought of him feeling this way. Still, I already decided I would tell him everything.

 

“Not too long after my father's death, my mom started showing signs of sickness. I didn’t think it was so serious so I didn’t pay much attention to her. And then she remarried only a year after his death.

Slowly, I forced myself to forget him. And for a while I thought of him as just some guy who left his son to take care of his sick mother.”

 

 

“Is that why you don’t remember me?” Luhan asked, his voice empty and lifeless.

 

“Who knows, they said I had an accident where I hit my head but I’m not sure.”

 

“So who’s the man who everybody thinks is your father?”

 

Suddenly, the tears stopped.

 

I could feel my gaze turn dark and my voice was no longer filled with sorrow and despair, but consumed with pure hatred and disgust.

 

“That would be the thief who left my pregnant mother to rot away in her own sickness….That would be my little brother’s biological father.”

 

“My mom remarried out of desperation. She needed someone to take care of us; a distraction.”

Yoogeun’s dad worked in your company for a while. He knew everything about it and how to get a hold of that money. With that, he stole ten million dollars from the Lu company and ran off.

My mother got worse and couldn’t even move. Especially with a baby inside of her.

God, how I hated that bump in her stomach. I sometimes found myself wishing she would have a miscarriage. After all, how could I love the son of a thief? But then Yoogeun was born and I fell in love with my baby brother instantly.”

 

My voice grew softer at the mental image of my little brother running to my arms.

 

“As he turned two, my mother couldn’t take her illness any longer so she was hospitalized. I dropped out of school to pay off the millions of dollars that he stole so I continued working as a slave.

...I did make the top of my class though" I smiled; attempting to lighten up the mood.

 

“Why does everybody think he’s your real father then?” He asked with deep curiosity.

 

“Because better for me to be treated like dirt than my little brother. I'm supposed to be his dad after all. And last time I checked dads will always be there for their sons."

 

I smiled sadly.

 

Luhan looked away sadly as I said those last words.

 

“His father left before he was born and he is slowly forgetting his mom. I refuse to tell him that his real father was worse than trash. As for my mom, she doesn’t remember ever being remarried or having a son with that man. I do visit sometimes, but never with Yoogeun.

 

It has been almost 5 years of her not knowing I am her son. She just sees me as some kid who volunteers at the nearby hospital from time to time.

I know, it’s selfish of me of taking away his parents but I just want what’s best for him.”

 

I took a deep breath and wiped all my tears away.

 

“It’s not selfish. You’re just being a great dad; your father would do the same for you.”

.....

The igloo grew silent again....

I gave him time to adjust what I just reveled as I silently thanked the heavens for him not asking the question I dreaded the most...

How did he die?

I wasn't ready to tell him that.

 I don't think I ever will.

“……Luhan, can we go ride the Ferris wheel?”

 

Luhan’s POV

 

If there ever was a moment that I felt such an urge to hug him…It would be now.

 

I wrapped my arms around the neck of the boy I love and lovingly kissed his cheek.

 

I knew what he needed. It wasn’t pity or someone to cry for him.

 

I let my last tear fall on his bare neck and smiled “Of course we can! It’s the highlight of every date.”

 

It was someone he could share this with.

 

Someone he could love.

 

Please, let it be me.