Chapter 44- The Superior

Superiority Complex

I remember that quote, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." I've always found it a little stupid, pointless and just downright idiotic to be used as a motto or something. I mean, I never really understood what it meant, nor did I really care to try and understand what it was. Though, despite my despite on that motto, perhaps, subconsciously, I've learned to understand what it was. I mean, I know life isn't easy. What life is? Even the rich have their days.. Business going bad, threats here and there. It's a crazy world. It's not very pleasant.  

I know that somewhere in between the lines of what seemed like a fairytale and nightmare, I chose its outcome. I chose the result of what happened. I know, that for so many times, I've said that I don't belong in this world, well at least his world. I remember the first time I met him. Though it was several years back, it was as vivid as a painting on how I met him. I was there, on that scaffolding, curious to see who came and as to why everyone scrambled up in a queue. There I was, forcing myself, pushing and nudging to see who it was and alas, the bucket of dirty water fell. I closed my eyes, tightly, mentally wishing that it didn't drop on anyone, then bam! Life is a , it fell on someone. What's worse that it fell on him, my employer. 

I said to myself, he is the most despicable guy I've ever met. He's got a complex, rude, bossy and just plain crazy.. But there I was, ate my words up when I ended falling for him. Marrying him was out of need. I never meant to feed off of his wealth, or have him give me money then run away. No, not like that. I needed the money. It was to save the first man in my life. That intention went in vain when my father passed away. I can't really pinpoint when I started falling for him. I just did, I guess? He does have his charm. He was such a at that time, but I got to see his playful side and perhaps.. Or I don't know. Yeah, let's just leave it at that.

Losing my father, sister and then the whole emotional thing about my pregnancy and doubts. Though he said that I should forgive myself, there are those times when I still punch myself, slap myself on what I did to him. I know I did it for myself. To save what was left of me but then again, I did regret it. I do regret it. When I was alone, in the time we were apart, I always imagined how our life could've been different if I didn't leave. I bet we'd have two or three kids by this time. He was crazy in bed. But seriously, I think I could've saved us from all of the drama; from all the pain. But what's done is done. Can't really do anything about that anymore.

Sometimes, I think that all of these is my fault or I brought it about. Though he'd insist that it wasn't I would. It was a product of my selfishness. I'd always put up a front of being strong or reliable. It was the only way to go. We left the States, started a life here from scratch, barely surviving through a day, I mean, I had to learn how to work at such a young age. Pretending to be strong at tough times was the only strength I considered I had or have at least. 

Then again, through all of this, I am thankful. I accepted the fact that once I stepped out of his life back then, I know I can't come back. I know that he'll hate me. I know that I was the one that walked away. I know it was a conscious choice and I should live up to it. I did. I didn't contact anyone nor did I even seek for him even in times of trouble. But again, life is a . A sneaky little that you can grow to hate or love. When I met him again, by chance, in that school, I knew it was fate. It was what destiny that brought us together yet again. I know it sounds cheesy and a little dramatic, but I just thought about it like that. I mean, we didn't meet for six years and there he was, right behind me, just a few feet away. 

I lied back then when I said, and asked why does he keep bugging me and stuff. I wanted to touch him so bad, hold his hand and feel the warmth of his skin on mine. It was the only touch of a man that I knew and I didn't really want any other. And though I say life is a . I love the . If it wasn't for it, I wouldn't have the joy of my life, my daughter, Eunyoung. Let alone, my adoptive daughter Eunjeon as well. It was like a package deal. 

Because of that, despite all the that has happened, all the tears that were shed, drama  that occured and pain that we felt, I can say, definitely say, that he was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

----------------------

It's not a really good day. It's rainy. I wanted to be alone. I know people might think I'm crazy but I don't really care. The girls are with Sulli and Luna and here I am, sitting on a hill, drenched in mud and rain, talking to a grave. But what the hell, who cares. 

"Amber-ah.. We have to go. It was said in the forecast that the rain isn't going to stop any time soon. I think it's best if we go now. Also, the girls started to get a little grumpy. A little tired perhaps? Come on."

"I'll be right there, Minho. I'll just finish scrubbing off some of the mosses on the grave and I'll be done. Go on. Besides, I'm already wet by the rain, I can manage. Kindly tell Sulli to take care of the girls for a little bit more."

"I understand but please, hurry."

The mosses on the grave were annoying. I'd remove and scrub them out and when I come back, they're back. Just like mushrooms popping out of the blue.

"I guess I'll see you in a few days."

Minho has been of great help. I mean, everybody was and still is. Sulli has quit the job at the corporation. They decided to get married eventually. Sulli is yet to get pregnant but yeah, I'm really happy for her. Minho is a nice guy. Heck, I could've fallen for him to be honest. He loves art.  I live and breathe art. Though I guess, Sulli can tolerate his competitive nature a lot better. I'm more laid back? Was he laid back? Nah. But yeah, you get the point. 

Luna has made immense progress. She can speak just fine now. No more issues whatsover. In fact, she has gotten back at singing. Though her hopes of being a professional singer is a little slim, she's still planning to audition. Onew oppa is whole supportive of it. Have I mentioned that they now have a son? I'm not really intersted on the details on how they managed to do it, well you know, since Luna is a little disabled but yeah. Luna gave birth to a beautiful son. Jonghyun oppa, well, he'll forever be scarred by the bullet that grazed his arm that night. It wasn't too deep nothing to alarming but the scar is pretty prominent. I have no news on his dating life but last time I heard he proposed to his supposed actress girlfriend just a few days after he got treated on his arm, saying he realized that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. Saying that he felt it when that bullet grazed him and thought he was dying.

Taemin, well, he and Jieun haven't really officially announced whether they are together or not. It's pretty funny if you ask me. They'd blatantly deny that they are together but we'd see them often eating out for dinner or if not go on not-so-secret vacations. I  bet he'd say "As long as Taemin is happy."

I'm happy for them. I truly am  but I do feel jealous sometimes and think, why did they have their happy endings? Was it my karma? I don't know and as of lately, I don't really care.

"Woah, Amber eonni, you're drenching wet."

"Yeah, I know. Don't worry Ssul. I'm fine. Where are the girls?"

"They're in the car with Minho oppa. They've fallen asleep. Eonni.."

"Hmm?"

"Ke.." Sulli's words were cut short.

"What was it Sulli?"

"No, it was nothing. Go on now! Your bag is in the trunk, change so that we can go."

"I understand. I'll be quick."

And Amber walked away. "Yah. Sulli-ah, you do know we can't talk about that right? I mean, we can't really ask so much about it." Luna scolded the younger.

"I know. But it's not like we can't not talk about it forever. We have to eventually."

"Aghh.. I don't know. Just, go back in the car. You might catch a cold."

----

The bathroom was a little filthy but what the hell. I'm muddy anyways. I'm still bugged by what Sulli was about to say though. 

~~

The girls were sleeping soundly. The rain was still pouring and the lightning strikes ever so frequently. I applaud the girls for being brave enough to not flinch by the sound of lightning. I was scared of lightning when I was young. I remembered how I'd hide under the table and cover my ears. Thankful that these girls are not like me. 

"Noona."

It was Taemin. "I came to hand you some reports. Jieun asked me to hand them to you personally. Also, I hope you don't mind but I forced her to tell on some details of what was inside, well at least what was important."

"It's okay. Why don't you just tell me what it is? And I do feel you've read it as well already."

"Aha. Sorry, I read it on my way here. Anyways, well. It's about the case."

"What about it?"

"Well, the case with Suho will push through. The evidence is pretty strong and its not like he's denying anything about it but a hearing is still to be held. If ever, he is convicted, he'll be serving 25 to 60. Mrs. Kim was never imprisoned after Suho was caught. It was her husband that was killed in the encounter and after that she was nowhere to be found. But she did leave a note for you with the police before she was released and escaped to nowhere."

"What did it say?"

"Well, she was apologizing for everything that has happened and she was pleading for you to take care of Eunjeon. She says, she only wishes a good life for her daughter. She said she'll be back and hope you keep in contact with her. That's all. Uhhmm, also, the police found out something interesting."

"Huh?"

"It appears that Key hyung's father is not dead."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they checked for any documents related to Key hyung father's death. No records were found, as in nothing. Also, there was this peculiar man that was dressed in a suit that brought aunt Chunyi to the ambulance once Suho was caught. He wasn't seen after but.."

"Yeah, I get where you're going. Any hopes of tracking him?"

"They're working on it for now. Also, noona. We need witnesses, we need..."

"You know that's not possible.."

"But noona.."

"Taemin. I know he's the only one that can actually give a solid testimonial, but you do know what happened right? I can speak as a witness and Aunt Chunyi as well. I know we'll suffice."

"I understand and I'm sorry.."

Taemin left soon after. We didn't really have much to talk about. Everybody knows I don't want to talk about it. It's difficult and painful. As much as I want to understand, it's too frustrating and painful to do so. But can you blame me? Wouldn't you feel the same? Here I am, staring outside the window, trying to count the number of droplets that would drop on certain portion of the flooring of the porch. It's a little pointless really but yeah. To be honest, I've lost track how long it has been. 

After Suho's capture, the trial has stalled because of what happened. The girls were traumatized after what happened. Who wouldn't? A gun, pointed to your heads? Scary . They've stopped school and I decided to send them to therapy and counseling. Eunjeon is doing better. Eunyoung has deeper issues but she's been more open not only to me but also to other people. I still can't believe it's been two years since it has happened. 

It's been two years and I still cry about it. It was a selfish thing that he did. I mean, in that circumstance. He knew about it, but didn't tell anyone and here we are, here I am, suffering and saddened by what happened.

-----------------------------------

It was worse than a hangover when I woke. They said it was more than three weeks, going on a month since I saw the light. They said it was a 50:50 percent chance. No, was it 40:60? I still have some issues but I do know that's what I remember correctly. It's between the two. I knew everyone. I knew who they were, what they played in my life but there were patches.

What happened before I fell asleep, why it happened, how I got there and most of all I didn't know she was. I remember she was crying hysterically. It freaked me out. She hugged me and I winced from the pain it brought to my body. I pushed her away. She was rather surprised when I did that. I didn't care. I didn't know who she was. Why should I trust a stranger?

I remember their faces, they were there. Standing, with smiles planted on their faces, after then I pushed her away, their faces shifted from what I believed to be happiness to surprise and shock. I started shouting. The woman started crying hysterically and kept on clinging on me. I panicked and asked people to take her out of my room. She begged and begged and said that I knew her. I didn't. I started shouting and next thing I knew, I was sedated, only to wake up two days later. How did I last without going to the toilet? It still bugged me. 

Afterwhich, I went back to work. Did the things how I used to. The clients' confidence came back and we were able to stabilize the situation without the need of removing any of the employees. I gave myself a pat on the back. I didn't like the idea of us living under the same roof. Why did we? They said it was just cause. I went with it. I tried to move out but they stopped me before even before I made progress. Despite that, what surprised me was that she kept going to the office, asking for me, I didn't want to talk to her. Why would I? They started to get worried and only mentioned that the woman was named Amber. Amber? I said to myself then. I thought it was familiar but just brushed it off. I kept pushing her away, then eventually she stopped going to the office. I liked it but then the routine of escaping her became something I learned to miss. When, finally one day, I tried talking to her, she appeared enthusiastic about it and tried conducting a conversation but that one conversation became like the last proper conversation we had. She cried and I was freaked out. I didn't know what to do. She just cried. I tried comforting her but ended, with me walking away. 

I was there, in the other car this morning. It was rainy, a downpour. They insisted I go with her. Walk up to the hill with her. But after what had  happened, I no longer knew how to approach her. I seemed like a jerk. Well, I was jerk. I can't talk to her anymore.  As I said, I didn't remember how I got to the hospital, I didn't know why I ended up like that. The doctor said that I knew of my condition beforehand, opting to not tell anyone. He said that it'll comeback. It's been two years. 

I saw her, as she came down, I was in the car. She was dirty, muddy and drenched. I didn't care. I just stared at her. I didn't know how it happened. I can't pinpoint when it was. But whenever I looked at her, the day just seemed better. 

Ahh! Who am I kidding? I figured out who she was several months back. To be honest, things didn't really come back. But I wasn't really stupid. I can puzzle things as we along. There would be those occasional headaches. The doctor said it's normal since its part of the recovery process, that's it's part of the portion of things coming back. I remember who I was, but I forgot everything about her. There are fragments. She walking out on me, on a cold rainy night. There were images of her face, with the light of a fireplace gently touching her flushed cheeks. Paintings here and there. It was nothing solid. Nothing solid ever came but I thought, perhaps I was happy then. 

******

It frustrated me. Apparently, Key knew he had a hemorrhage. It was after the accident. He survived but the accident did damage. I didn't know about it. Nobody did. He knew and didn't tell anyone. I kind of wanted to punch, yes punch, the doctor that he was seeing for not telling me. If he did, the damage could've been prevented. I wouldn't feel for  feeling like a dead person in his eyes. He didn't know who I was back then. We've made progress. Patience and faith, that's the only thing I'm relying on right now.

----------

There she is, just a few feet away, staring blankly to who knows where. The rain was still pouring heavily. I had seen her cry several times. When I started to have those fragments, it started to pain me to see those. I don't really recall which came first, the fragments or the emotional attachment. Not that it matters to me, but I bet it would matter to her. Whenever, I'd see and meet her in the eyes, there was sadness. There was pain. I want to take away that pain. I want to stop her crying. She has cried enough. The rain doesn't suit her too much. She's too beautiful for the rain.

"Uhmm..Hey."

She turned around and looked at me. I sat beside her. Awkward silence followed. How was I supposed to talk to her? How was I to start this conversation? "It that it rains so frequently nowadays. The girls can't really go out and play as much as they used to."

"Yeah, they keep on complaining to me that the yard has been muddy and filled with snails. They can't play since the snails looked scary."

Silence yet again. "How was the visit earlier?" I asked. Her breathing halted when I said those words. 

"How did you know?"

How could I not know? "I was in the car. I went with Minho to see what was going on. Sulli and Luna forced me to go." Her face dropped when I said forced. "But I did want to go! It was just that the rain was annoying me a little."

"Ohh, really? I see. Well, Woori's grave needed some tending. I opt to hire someone for that sooner or later. I just missed her that's why I went to visit her there. I mean, she was like a sister to me."

I hate myself. Why can't I conduct a proper conversation with her? Gosh, man up! Okay, I'm going for this. I grabbed her cheeks, her eyes widening in surprise with what I did. I leaned in, kissed her softly and quickly withdrew. She didn't say anything. I placed my hand in my pocket and grabbed the box I've been debating myself for months to give to her. I gave it. Shock, I still saw shock on her face. She opened it and gasped. Tears, beautiful tears started streaming down her face.

"Key..Kibum-ah. Th--this.." She looked at me.

"When?? How? I mean.." She stuttered. Cute.

I shook my head. She cocked her head in confusion. "I don't remember. Well, I do. Fragments, all I have are fragments. You by the fireplace, us by the fireplace. Paintings. You leaving me in the rain. That's all."

"But.. I mean, it's a yes. A definite yes! But.." She had started crying and smiling at the same time. How I missed that..

"Let's just say, I fell in love with you again. And if I forget, just remember I would still fall in love with you and I will, ten or hundred times over.."

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IT'S DONE. It's done. It's done.. Oh gosh, it's done. First and foremost, I just want to take this opportunity to first and foremost, thank everyone who is reading this fic. Thank you to my 85 subscribers. You don't know how much joy it brings me when I know that someone subscribed. Thank you for the patience you guys gave me. To be honest, during the almost three month hiatus I had with this fic, I did have thoughts of not finishing it. I did have thoughts of just deleting it, but then I thought, it would be wrong.

Why give up when there are people supporting you on this fic? Why give up when there are looking forward to it? So, for that, thank you. In turn, I would like to apologize for the long wait before this fic finished. But again, thank you for the patience!

As promised, I'll be making another fic! Yey! Forgive me if it's another keyber, but I just love those two okay? Despite different issues and shizz. Anyway, here is the link:

http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/431923

Please do check it out and subscribe if you're interested. AGAIN, THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Superiority Complex, done and out!

 

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retrolovemadness
I can be so lazy in editing typos.. Forgive me! >_

Comments

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Kyoko99
#1
Chapter 10: Wow amber rocked there XD
DjTinkDome #2
Chapter 46: DAEBAK!!!!! I really loved this story!!
moyamoyo #3
Chapter 46: Finally finished it. It is an amazing story i have imagined that all the events were true and real! Oh my god! You're just----awesome i don't know what to say anymore. It is awesome, brilliant!
MyungSoo_KeyBer #4
Chapter 46: I really love your story.. It's DAEBAK!!! two thumbs up to you!! :D
Ilonahaku #5
I cant believe that it has been 1 year since you finished the story. I still remember how emotional I got after reading the last chapter. Even now this fanfic has special place in my heart. I am really thankful that your fanfic gave me so many wonderful moments. <3
Happy 1 year anniversary since you wrote the last line for "Superiority Complex". :)
Exolayxing
#6
Chapter 46: OMG!!! such a beautiful ending for an amazing story. you make me cry!!! i think that Key was dead :'( but you really surprised me at the end. I thunk it's sweet that even if he forgets about her he still fall in love with her. Thank you so much for write a beautiful story. :)
Exolayxing
#7
Chapter 1: i start to read another of your stories authornim :) it's really intresting i like it, i like the name of the company KJMTO i guess that it's because of Key, Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin and Onew hahaha so cool :D well i'm going to keep reading :)
btskookiexx
#8
Chapter 46: Good story!!! I likeeeeee!
Mayshosh #9
Chapter 46: Great story !! I think if it was a drama its going to be a huge hit !!
KEYBER ARE THE BEST ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️