Chapter 18- Sick

Superiority Complex

If he could slap himself or have someone do it for him, he'll gladly let them. He has once again let his emotions take over the best of him. After the whole drunkard incident in his bar when he caught a glimpse of Gayoon in the mall when he was with Amber, he promised himself that he'll start to control his emotions moreover his temper. He remembered that he was at fault for Amber's scar on her right hand. She had to be rushed to the hospital after he broke down and fell asleep. He didn't remember it happened. Suho only told him and when he saw the stitches on Amber's hand.

To be honest, he told the truth that he doesn't remember anything that happened that night. He was too drunk. He even forgot he hurt Amber in the first place but this time around, he was well aware and was alcohol free when he said those words. After a good 30 minutes of sitting on the cold wooden floor of the room, Key realized that what he did was unforgivable, practically inhumane. His harsh words were below the belt and uncalled for. It was as if his world stopped and grew silent after Amber slapped him real hard. He held his cheek and still felt a sting where Amber's hand landed on his face.

He lowered his head. It was the final draw.

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Things have turned out as he had predicted. The following morning, Key checked to see Amber's room and wasn't surprised that all of her things were gone. She only left behind the clothing he has bought for her. She brought her previous clothes which pretty much occupied not even half of her closet. Even her art materials were gone. He was heaving a heavy sigh. He wants to apologize but he doesn't know how.

In a matter of minutes, he proceeded downstairs to see if breakfast was ready. It was fairly early, 6:08am. He'd usually wake up at around 8:00am to prepare but he barely had an ounce of sleep that not waking up in the middle of the night was such a challenge. As he expected, no food was prepared and even Suho and the house helpers were still asleep. He decided to go to the bar and see if he can somehow find clues of what happened after that night.

He looked around but it looked pretty much no different. The house helpers cleaned well and the place looked good as new. If guests were to arrive, they wouldn't suspect that glass shattering, shouting and crying happened in that room. Perhaps, the only thing he can remember was that he cried his freaking heart out to Amber, asking for her name and calling out to her before he lost awareness.

He feels guilty and a little confused. He hasn't called out to anyone before, not even Suho. He feels that he can trust Amber but his anger got the best of him and drove her away. He felt that Amber was like a confidante she can run to when he needed to. He just had too much pride to admit it to himself and to Amber that he trusts her and has started caring for her. He accepted it when he felt tears verging on his eyes last night after it all happened. 

Not long after though, the opening of the door was heard and Suho came. "What are you doing here at this hour? Don't tell me you're going to drink?"

Key faced him and tried to fake a smile. His eyes were a little bloodshot due to the lack of sleep. "I was supposed to but I don't think I can since you're awake."

Suho surprisingly closed in the door and walked towards one of the cupboards and took out a brandy. "I'm not against it. I have a feeling you need some company.."

Key lightly smacked Suho's arm as if he was trying to say thanks. 

"She's not here isn't she?" Suho said as he poured the brandy into the glasses with ice.

"No.. And I don't think she'll be coming back."

"Does this have something to do related to Gayoon? I mean, have you told her?"

"No.. Gayoon isn't necessarily related to it. I'm the one at fault.."

Key took a straight shot on the brandy while Suho was busy twirling his glass. "I'm not blind to not notice it, but seems like she grew on you? You haven't reacted like this in such a long time Kibum.."

"Have I? I haven't noticed it.. I've been to busy with my work I barely noticed."

"I was right when I told you this house seemed a lot brighter since she arrived.. What do you plan to do?"

"I don't know hyung.. I don't know."

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Amber had to go to work wearing specs. It was kind of a diversion on people asking what happened to her eyes or whatnot. She cried so hard the previous night that she literally looked like a full blown balloon with such puffy eyes. She developed a cold for talking a long cold walk last night that it wasn't helping her look any better. 

"Eonni!!!"

Amber was actually glad to hear that shout after so long. She hasn't been able to bond with the girls because of all the dip, yes dip, she's been doing for someone she now considers not only as a bastard but as an . She missed the times when she'd just go to work to finish a painting. It's one of those moments she regretted accepting his contract. 

"Hey Ssul.."

"Where have you been lately? I miss you. We've missed you.. Woori eonni was feeling worried that she wanted to visit you but she forgot how to get to your house.."

"I was busy and had some personal matters that I attended to.. Don't worry. I'm back for good. Sorry for making you guys worried.."

Sulli hugged Amber so tight that Amber had to push her away to even get to breathe again. They headed to the cafeteria to have breakfast. All of the girls were there. A new face was also present. Amber greeted the girl with a warm smile.

"Amber!!" Woori shouted as she too gave Amber a hug. "Finally! You're back."

"Sorry I was out for some time."

"Amber, I'd ike you to meet Hyorin's cousin, Bora.. She moved here from Busan about a week ago.. She finally works here! The more the merrier.."

Amber bid a hello to the shy girl that was hiding behind Hyorin. She waved back and smiled. Amber took a seat after. Amber was the main dish for that breakfast. The girls kept grilling her on where she was, what happened and why was she gone for so long.

"Amber, did you cry?" Hyorin bluntly said.

"Me? No.."

"Don't lie to us dear.. It's pretty obvious you did.."

"Yeah, eonni. I noticed it too.."

"Well.."

The girls leaned closer to her, waiting for her to answer..

"My dog died.."

The girls then stared at her. "Seriously?!" Jia shouted. The girls mocked in pushing her around while they laughed. She had to lie. She doesn't want to talk about what happened the previous night. She hasn't even told Jackie who kept asking her what was wrong since she went home so out of the blue. She came home crying and with a runny nose. She broke down even more when Jackie hugged her. Oh how she missed her sister's warmth. Being in her arms made her feel safe and loved.

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Amber was back at the scaffolding. She feels a lot more at ease knowing that she can go back to painting. It'd been weeks since she last held a paintbrush in her hands and getting the chance to hold one after what felt like an eternity is amazing. She started to paint. Like she'd always do, her emotions would take over her when she'd paint. The brush flowed freely and she even closed her eyes at times when she felt so into it. However, her momentum was broken when someone tapped on the scaffolding. She was about to shout but was surprised to find Minho waving hello.

"Hello.. What is it?"

"Nothing.. I just noticed you were gone for a few days. It was good to see that the mural is back on track."

"Ohh. yeah.. Sorry about that. I kind of had to deal with personal issues over the past week.."

"I see.."

A brief moment of silence followed. Amber was about to tell Minho if she could get back to work but he interrupted right on time. "You want to hang out for lunch? I'm quite into art myself but I just can't find someone to talk to. I mean.."

"Lunch? Like today?" Amber asked. Minho nodded. Amber took it into thought and later nodded, thinking it'll be nice to get to know Minho. He's the only one she can talk to without feeling shy. She climbed back to the scaffolding while he headed to the elevator.

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Noon came and Amber had to make up an excuse for not eating lunch with her girls. Minho insisted that they should go for lunch since he has a meeting to attend to. In all honesty, she doesn't know why she let herself be dragged into the art exhibit by Minho. She thought that maybe perhaps it's because she hasn't been in an art exhibit for so long since most of the top art galleries ask for a fee which she can't spend her money on due to the expenses she needs to think about. Also, Minho does seem interested in art and talking to an enthusiast would be fun.

She was waiting patiently by the entrance of the parking lot. Later on, a black sedan came out and it was Minho. He unlocked his door and welcomed Amber to sit in the front passenger seat. Amber gladly did so.

For some weird reason though, Amber was quite quiet during the drive to the art gallery nearest to the office. It was fun to observe the people outside, walking and bustling about the streets. But she'll always lose thought on it and will start thinking about Key. As much as she wants to not think about it, the happy memories of them would always flashback and make her somewhat smile. 

"Amber, we're here."

"Ohh, okay.."

They went out and Minho paid for the entrance. Amber thanked him. She started looking around and her face just lit up.

"I kind of noticed from your style of painting that maybe you like Kim Jongsun's works. I kind of noticed it with the abstract and free flow of the brush ."

"Ohh my gosh, you noticed that? I admire Jongsun a lot; not only is he a great painter but also a sculptor.."

The two of them started to look around and shared thoughts on the different art pieces there were. Most of the works on display were Jongsun's but works of other artists were also featured. However, as time progressed, Amber started to become passive. She can't help wish that Key was the one talking with her and not Minho. Minho is already knowledgeable. It's not a bad thing but if ever Key was with her, he'll be asking questions and Amber would start sharing.

"Hello?"

"Yes?" Amber looked at Minho at the thought he was calling her attention yet again but apparently he was on his phone.

"I'm doing something. What? Did he inform you? Are you serious? Ughh.. Fine.. I'll be there in ten minutes tops." And he put it down. "Sorry, seems like our art talk will have to wait.."

"Hmm? Why?"

"Well, apparently Key is being irresponsible yet again. He was supposed to meet a client today but apparently he didn't time in for work today. His secretary is trying to call him but he won't answer his phone. Sorry, I have to leave now. I mean.."

"Ohh, I'll be fine. Besides, I still want to look around. Go on ahead." Amber insisted. Minho bowed and left. She waved a little goodbye and went to look around even more. However after a good fifteen minutes she felt bored and decided to head back to work.

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Amber went back to work and finished by 4:33pm. Woori and Jia went home with her along the way while the other girls went the other way saying they want to go to the mall or something. Jia was the first one to leave since her house was nearest the office. The sky has started to become cloudy so the two girls that were left hurried in walking.

"If ever you have a problem, don't be shy to talk to any of us. We may seem like shallow girls at times but I promise you.. We're more than willing to listen. You just seem so down lately so we became worried and then you didn't show up for a few days so our worry just escalated. We're glad you're back Amber. We really are.."

Amber felt touched with Woori's words. Somehow, in the tough time she's going through silently, such kind words made her feel at ease. She moved closer to Woori and gave the girl a hug. "Thanks Woori.. Thanks for being concerned. Don't worry.. If ever I come into a bump, I'll tell you firsthand.."

They both smiled. Woori soon bid her goodbye while Amber walked on. It was still quite a walk back to her home. She also had to pass by the grocery store to buy some food since Jackie wouldn't be home that night, saying she wants to hang out and sleepover at a friend's house. As she was about to reach a convenient store, it started raining and it was raining hard. It was good that Amber had her umbrella with her.

She went around the store and grabbed some chips as she went through the aisles. She also got herself and Jackie some locally made beef jerky which tasted even better than its American counterpart. Ultimately, she got a pack of noodles, thinking it'll be good to eat it since the weather was all rainy. She paid and thanked the ahjumma tending the cashier. It was still raining quite hard but she still preferred to walk.

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She checked her watch and it was almost 8:00pm. She was only a few blocks away from her house that she noticed a familiar car parked across the street of their house. She was certain on whose it was. She tried to cover herself with the umbrella and walked as fast as she can. But it was too late when she realized he called out her name.

"Amber?"

She didn't turn to look. Instead she went to the front door grabbing where the keys were placed in her pocket. She heard footsteps and much to her horror, he was right there behind her. 

"Please, hear me out.." his voice sounded tired. 

"Leave me alone. I don't want to see you. Consider the contract done.. I can fend for us now.."

Amber finally found the keys and slid them into the lock. She stopped though when Key cornered her between his arm and his face that was so close to hers.

"Please..I'm begging you."

"No.." As she was about to turn the knob, again he spoke..

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to say those words. I was angry, confused.. With Gayoon back, it all came back to me.. That room? The room that I kept locked for so long was supposed to be our special place when we were still together. I wanted to marry her. I wanted her to be my future.. But things changed, I changed, she did as well but I was angry. I didn't understand what she meant. I closed off everything since then. Please, I trust you. I've learned to trust you.. I'm scared to feel alone again Amber.. Please, I..."

Before Key could even finish his sentence, Amber heard a loud thump. Key fell unconscious on the floor. Amber dropped all her groceries and lowered to Key's side.

"Key? Key??" She  tapped. She later felt his neck and realized he was burning with a fever. Perhaps it was because of the rain.. "How long were you waiting there?" She mumbled.  Amber later opened the door, brought in her groceries, threw them on the side and supported Key into her room. He was soaking wet. 

"Eotteokhae?" She was unsure on what to do. "Oh right.."

She grabbed a towel and opened the hot bath in their bathroom. She went back to see Key who still laid unconscious on her floor. She had no other choice but to remove pieces of his clothing and at least let him soak in the warm bath. She breathed in and she started ing his shirt and later on his pants. It was a good thing he had shorts underneath. Again, with her little strength. She brought him to the bathroom and soaked him in the warm bath. 

After which, she brought him back to her room and wrapped him in a bathrobe and laid him on her bed. He was still pretty much asleep and burning hot with a fever. She got cold compress and started using it on him.

That agonizing routine continued on for almost three hours since Amber was trying to somehow lower his temperature. It was past midnight and she was still awake, sitting on the side of her bed and looking at Key as the moonlight from the window lit his face so gently.

Amber sighed. "You know what? I hate you.. Your words were so harsh I just wanted to slap the hell out of you. You were so out of control and I hated it. You promised me that night, after you hurt my hand that you would no longer let your emotions take over you but you didn't. I hated the fact that you didn't. I hated the fact that you let Gayoon and your past get the best of you. You'll always say to me never dwell in the past ever since my father died but you're the one who can't let go..."

Amber paused. It seems she has started to become emotional. "I hate that you're such an who could careless on who he hurts. I hate that you called me worthless and hopeless.. They were so mean but you know what? I hate myself. I hate myself because even though you were so mean, I can't stop thinking about the happy times we shared. I can't bear the thought of leaving you sick. I can't bear the thought of letting you experience the pain of being alone yet again.. I hate myself for letting my guard down and trusting you and most of all."

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"I hate myself for falling someone like you..I lied, I don't hate you.. I can't hate you..I know you can't hear me but I'll say it since it's better you won't hear me at all.. You may be an but I fell for you and I fell hard.. And I hate it because I know you'll never feel the same for me. I hate it.."

Amber kept on sobbing and shaking her head feeling that their closest encounter so far may be the only one she can get as close to. She leaned it towards his face. She put her hand on his cheek and caressed it. "You're such a girl.." and she kissed his cheek. It was warm and fuzzy. She fell into sleep soon after wishing that time would just stop and let them stay like that for a little longer.

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Teehee ^^ As promised an update. I think the length is just right considering I had to stop halfway because our connection got all crazy. So, yeah.. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. :D Comments, suggestions are welcome! Thanks again! An update may be posted some time this week.. Enjoy!

 

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retrolovemadness
I can be so lazy in editing typos.. Forgive me! >_

Comments

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Kyoko99
#1
Chapter 10: Wow amber rocked there XD
DjTinkDome #2
Chapter 46: DAEBAK!!!!! I really loved this story!!
moyamoyo #3
Chapter 46: Finally finished it. It is an amazing story i have imagined that all the events were true and real! Oh my god! You're just----awesome i don't know what to say anymore. It is awesome, brilliant!
MyungSoo_KeyBer #4
Chapter 46: I really love your story.. It's DAEBAK!!! two thumbs up to you!! :D
Ilonahaku #5
I cant believe that it has been 1 year since you finished the story. I still remember how emotional I got after reading the last chapter. Even now this fanfic has special place in my heart. I am really thankful that your fanfic gave me so many wonderful moments. <3
Happy 1 year anniversary since you wrote the last line for "Superiority Complex". :)
Exolayxing
#6
Chapter 46: OMG!!! such a beautiful ending for an amazing story. you make me cry!!! i think that Key was dead :'( but you really surprised me at the end. I thunk it's sweet that even if he forgets about her he still fall in love with her. Thank you so much for write a beautiful story. :)
Exolayxing
#7
Chapter 1: i start to read another of your stories authornim :) it's really intresting i like it, i like the name of the company KJMTO i guess that it's because of Key, Jonghyun, Minho, Taemin and Onew hahaha so cool :D well i'm going to keep reading :)
btskookiexx
#8
Chapter 46: Good story!!! I likeeeeee!
Mayshosh #9
Chapter 46: Great story !! I think if it was a drama its going to be a huge hit !!
KEYBER ARE THE BEST ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️