After getting to her apartment, scenes from last month came back to me. It’s like this… me bringing the drunk Krystal Jung in her apartment. Just like the last time, I laid her on her bed as I ransack her closet to find some comfortable clothes, bringing in with me a basin of warm water and a towel, and a glass of water.

 

I undressed her again -_____- except for her underwear of course, while cleaning her up. I was about to put on her clothes when I saw her eyes wide open, staring at me.

 

*Gulp*

 

“Y-You…” She muttered.

 

“H-Hey, I-I’m just changing your clothes and cleaning you up. You’re clothes smell like alcohol, and it’s full of sweat.” I defended myself. The next thing I know is that she’s crashing her lips onto mine, them as if her life depends on it.

 

No… She’s just drunk…

 

I pushed her away.

 

“What in the heck do you think you’re doing?!”

 

“Don’t you like it? Why? Because I’m not Hyuna? Are you going out with her? Tell me Amber!”

 

“Krys… Please… Calm down. You’re just drunk. Let’s talk about these tomorrow when you’ve finally sobered up and can think clearly, okay?”

 

“I’m sober already!”

 

“No, you’re not. Here, take your clothes, and sleep. I’ll just go okay? Let’s talk again tomorrow.” I told her as I walk towards the door, only to be stopped when she hugged me from behind.

 

“I won’t let you… I won’t let you leave me. I won’t let you get out of that door once again. Please Amber…”

 

“Krys, please…” Krystal Jung, I’m begging you… while I can still control myself. I shouldn’t have drunk some alcohol earlier. If I didn’t maybe I won’t feel this hot inside. I tried to take her hands off me, but she just won’t let me. Her grip just tightened instead.

 

“I missed you.” She said as she buried her head on my back.

 

I released a sigh of defeat from hearing those words. Why do you always make me feel this way Krys? Now, all of my efforts on forgetting you have all gone to waste.

 

When I felt that she loosened her grip on my body a bit, I took the chance to turn around and hug her tight, not wanting to lose her within my grasp.

 

“I’m sorry…”

 

I pulled away a bit so I can see her face. I felt guilty when I saw her tears rolling down her cheeks. I used my thumbs to wipe them dry, and that’s when I noticed her locking her gaze upon me.

 

I looked at her sad eyes and unconsciously leaned in closer and closer until there is no longer a gap between our lips. What surprised me was that she kissed me back with the same intensity. I then felt her arms wrapped around my neck, pulling me towards her, deepening our kiss.

 

It’s a slow, sweet kiss I must say. I was enjoying it until I remembered that she’s just drunk so I pulled out from the kiss before I totally lose my sanity.

 

“Why?” She asked me.

 

“I-It just doesn’t feel right…”

 

“Because we’re both girls? But why did you kiss Hyuna?”

 

My eyes widened when she mentioned it.

 

“Wh-What do you mean?”

 

“I saw you making out with her in the fire exit one night.”

 

What the?! She saw it? My jaw dropped, don’t know what to say.

 

“So I suppose you’re really going out with her…” She said as she bowed down her head and walk back to her bed.

 

“I’m not going out with her.” Honestly, I don’t know why I’m telling you this Krystal Jung. Am I hoping again? Am I expecting from you again?

 

She turned around once again, and this time, she’s crying.

 

“THEN WHY AMBER?! WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME?! WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME FOR A MONTH WITHOUT EVEN TELLING ME, OR CALLING ME?! *sobs* You don’t know how worried I was. You don’t know how hurt I was… how shocked I was. *sobs*”

 

“Because I have to…”

 

“You have to… what?!”

 

“Because I have to let go of my feelings for you! I know I already crossed the line that separates a friend from a more-than-a-friend! And I need space to reflect on it again… I need time and space to put back the pieces of my heart again.”

 

“Then why didn’t you tell me anything about it?!”

 

“I tried to… I tried to show my feeling to you… but you’re too numb or maybe just too innocent of my feelings for you. Don’t you know how hard it is to force a smile everytime you tell me you have a new boyfriend, and how hard it is to stop myself from beating those guys after dumping you? I’ve always been a friend to you, but I even lost to a godd*mn bottle of soju!” I told her, while tears started to flow from my eyes.

 

“If you really love me then how can you explain that thing I saw in the fire exit?!”

 

I was speechless… finding the right words to say…

 

“You’re just like them…”

 

“Yeah… I think so… I’m sorry… for being so stupid.” I told her as I turn around and walk towards the door once again. What can I do? No matter how I look at it, I really am just like them. I love her, but I flirt with other girls… even though all I just wanted is to distract myself so I wouldn’t think of her that much. It’s still wrong…

 

“Do you really love me?” I heard her ask me once again before turning the doorknob.

 

“I love you… more than a friend… Krystal Jung… Sorry. Don’t worry, I’ll just fix myself and tell my heart to stop beating for you.” With that I opened the door and left.

 

 

 

Krystal’s POV

 

“You’re just like them…” I told her. How are you different from them then, Amber? How can you say you love me yet kiss and touch somebody else?

 

“Yeah… I think so… I’m sorry… for being so stupid.” She said as she turn around and walk towards the door, leaving me once again.

 

“Do you really love me?”

 

“I love you… more than a friend… Krystal Jung… Sorry. Don’t worry, I’ll just fix myself and tell my heart to stop beating for you.” With that she opened the door and left.

 

After hearing the front door of my apartment close, I pulled my legs near me, hugging them as I cry my heart out loud.

 

“YOU’RE SO STUPID AMBER!!! IF I DON’T FEEL SOMETHING FOR YOU, WHY DO YOU THINK WOULD I KISS YOU?! YOU’RE SO STUPID!!!” I yelled to myself as tears kept on flowing like a river.

 

But seriously Amber… *sobs* didn’t you really feel it? *sobs* Didn’t you really feel my heart beating so fast because of you? *sobs* Stupid Amber Liu… why can’t you just wait for me to realize my feelings for you? Why can’t you just give me a chance?

 

Why do you keep on telling me that I’m just drunk? I’m still tipsy, yes… but I know what I’m doing…

 

-----------------------------

 

Wow I was flattered reading your comments! I didn't expect that guys will like this one. Hahaha...

Fact is, I just wrote this out of the blue. I wrote Chapters 1-3 and part of 4 in one sitting while waiting for my mom as she went to the bank. LOL.

 

And I'm glad that you can feel what I also felt while writing this. *nods*