You crying so hard at Hospital roof top. You feel stupid and regretted at what you've done. You keep hit your head, and you keep hit everything. Until you got a cut and bruises in your hand. You stare at the towel that you used to wipe Yongguk. You hit that towel into everywhere. You shouting like crazy you crying hard and you hurt yourself.

Until you have something crazy idea. You try to riped the towel.

....

Waiting room..

“Where do you want to go?”. Hyosung asking Himchan, when he stand up.

“Looking for __(you)__.”. Himchan answered.

“Can I follow you?”. Ask Hyosung again, with worriedness on his beautiful face.

“No, it will be okay if it’s just me. Just go home, and have some practice. I’ll handle everything.”. Himchan pat her shoulder before leave.

“Are you sure?”. Himchan answered her with a few nod.

....

At the parking lot..

“I can’t.”. Hyosung said while open the van’s door.

“Where do you want to go?”. Zinger ask Hyosung.

“Searching for her.”.

“...”.

.....

Without any deep thinking and without lingering to find you, Himchan rushed to the hospital roof. Because, he think that it must be a place that you will visit when you feel sad. But what he saw at the roof top, it’s  really make him panic and he was so scared.

by using a towel that you've torn it into pieces and long enough to strangle your neck. With a very tight knot you tie your neck, until you cant’t breathe again. Immediately Himchan running toward you, and try to open the really tight knot. But, it’s hard. He was so panic when your face turning into a pale blue.

“Help!! Help!! Someone help me!!”. He shouting while try to make a space between your neck and the towel. But, it doesn’t work until Hyosung came and asked you what happened.

“I have scissors!”. Hyosung take out the scissors and Himchan cut it in a quick.

Fortunately, your face got into red, and you hardly breathe in. But, you already fainted. Himchan carrying you into the hospital and you have to being hospitalized until you concious.

*********************

At the lunch break B.A.P come to hospital to visit Yongguk and you. Like what you did yesterday, Himchan always stay beside you and never let you alone. In the other side, Yongguk slowly recover, because Jieun took care of him so well.

“Good boy.”. Jieun give a peck on Yongguk cheek and she move the moving table from Yongguk’s front. He already eat his lunch.

“Now, you have to go. look for your lunch.”. Yongguk give her, his sweetest smile.

“Hyosung eonni wil...”.

“Annyeong.”. Hyosung enter the room. “Here is your lunch.”.

“Waahh, Thank you eonni.”. Jieun took the plastick bag from Hyosung hand.

“You’re welcome. Are you getting better?”. Hyosung ask Yongguk.

“I’m okay. But doctor said, I can go home tomorrow morning.”. He answered.

“Oh ok. I’ll go.”. Hyosung ready to leave but Jieun grab her hand.

“Wait! I want to buy a cup of juice. Can you take care for Yongguk for a while eonni?”.

“I don’t ne..”. Yongguk about to say but Hyosung cut his.

“It’s okay. I’ll take him care. Just go! Quikly!”.

“Okay!”.

Jieun leave already. So, it feels a little bit awkward between Yongguk and Hyosung. Yes, because that what happened in the morning.

“If you have something to do, just go. I’ll be okay.”. Yongguk said to Hyosung who just sit on the sofa silently.

“Why you act like that to her?”. Hyosung look at Yongguk’s eyes and ask him.

“.......”. Yongguk can’t say anything he just put his head down.

“I Know she is annoying for you. But, you should understand her. Didn’t you have known each other so well since so many years ago? I'm not telling you to break up with Jieun. But, only if you know what she is feeling. You don’t worth to say like what you say this morning. just for an information, yesterday afternoon she didn’t get a break and not go home too, because she want to take care for you very well.”. Told Hyosung.

“.....”. But Yongguk can’t say anything. Hyosung just can see a little bit guilty on his eyes.

“Next to this room. H-1278, her room number. She try to kill herself. Fortunately, there is Himchan who saved her. *sighing hard*....Stupid girl. But don’t worry, Himchan take a very good care for her.”.

“Are you serious?”. His heart beating faster and yeah he felt so scared.

“Just check it.”.

“How is her condition?”.

‘GREAK!’ *doors open*

“Thank you eonni!”.

“You’re welcome. I’ll go, annyeong. Yongguk I’ll go.”.

*****************************

“Huk huk”. You coughing and Himchan run towards you in a quick. He call you with your name, and you open your eyes slowly.

“Do you need something?”. He asked you.

“W-Wa-Water.”. You said with super husky voice.

“Here.”. Himchan give you a drink with straw to make you drinkning easier.

“Thank you.”. You said but Himchan hit your forehead lightly.

“What are you doing huh? Stupid!”. You look at him and just rubbing your forehead.

You crying and told him everything that you felt. He hugged you tiglty and let you make his t-shirt wet with your tears. After that moment, he gave you a meal and help you to eat it. Before he go home to clean his body.

“I’ll be back at dinner time. Do you need something? So, I can bring it here?”.

“Horangi. He is in my wardrobe. I just need him.”.

“Okay I’ll bring it later. Be careful.”.

*************

The day getting late but Yongguk can’t close his eyes. Jieun were already leave him an hour ago. The nurse already turn of his room lamp. But, he can’t sleep yet. Because, he always thinking about you. So, he stand up from his bed and go into your room.

He look at your room sign, there is your name and your date of birth there. He peek inside your room and make sure there is no someone there. So he enter the room and found you sleeping peacefully. You facing the window so he just can see your back from the door. He approaching you and found something familiar in her hug. Your childhood doll, Horangi.

Without his knowing his tears dropped and he felt so guilty for you. He your head gently, and staring at your peaceful face. He let yourr hair away from your face and kiss your forehead. You felt his warmth.

“I’m sorry. I can’t be an old Yongguk. I can’t be your Yongguk anymore. But, we are family forever. You’re my little sister until whenever, and it couldn’t change. I’m sorry.”.

He kiss your forehead once again before he leave you. After you heard the door closed, you open your eyes and cry hard. You touch your forehead and still have his warmth there. Tonight you can’t go back to sleep and just crying. Cry for him. For him who never comeback.

”Be happy and please don’t waiting for me.”. – Yongguk (chapter 1)

“It’s true. What he said three years ago....hks...It—It’s true.”. You burying your face in Horangi’s body and you crying hard.

***************