Ch. 22

“Can I ask you a question, Amber?”

“Sure, Luna; shoot.”

“Now that your memories back; how do you feel about Krystal?”

I looked at her confused. Not that I don’t understand her question but I, myself am confused about my feelings towards her.

I’ve been jumping around with this feeling for a long time even before my memories came back. Is it love that I am feeling? If it is, it’s different from the love I had for her back when we were kids. And if this is love what was the feeling back then.

“Amber?” Luna asked concern.

I haven’t answered her question yet, just staring at the untouched water of our pool. Going over every little aspect of our relationship.

“What’s love?”

“Huh?” She asked tilting her head in confusion.

“Define love.”

“Well, love is when you…no wait. I don’t know. I can ‘t find a solid answer for it.”

I smirked.

“Exactly.”

“Huh? I still don’t get it.”

I got up from my chair and headed inside my house.

“Amber! Where are you going?! Don’t leave me out here alone!” Luna screamed as she ran after me. I held the door open for her and as soon she was inside I slid it shut.

Love, such a simple word to know but for one, it comes hard to understand.  

XxxxxX

I decided to take a midnight stroll, pondering on Luna’s question. When I arrived at the neighborhood park I walked over the grassy field before laying myself down and staring up at the stars.

Why can’t things like this be easier? To love someone. Different types of love for different types of people.

Why am I thinking so logically? Why can’t I just follow my heart? ‘My heart says I’m in love.’

Then again my heart doesn’t know what it wants. ‘Yes it does, it wants Krystal.’

“What is love?” I whispered to myself as I sat back up with my legs still sprawled across the grass.

“Some say love is friendship set on fire.” A voice from behind me said.

I turned back alarmed, not expecting anyone to be out here at such a late time.

‘Stupid brain, why can’t you just realize that the girl behind you is the answer to all your questions.’

I eyed Krystal as she walked up to me and took a seat on the ground.

“Heh, a friendship set on fire, huh?”

“What are you doing out here so late?” She asked me as she looked up at the sky.

It was a full moon tonight; the sky wasn’t completely clear but the lingering clouds that casted a shadow in the sky adds a serene touch to the already beautiful night sky. I mean a blank canvas can be boring.

“I should be asking you that question, Soojung.”

“Yah! Why are you calling me by my real name?” She pushed me and I willingly fell back down to the ground laughing at her childish antics. ‘Because I love your name.’

“Why not? Isn’t that what I used to call you all the time?

I saw her face flushed pink and I just chuckled to myself. I know that she loves me. It wasn’t that hard putting two and two together after I got my memory back.

But I want to be sure of my own feelings before doing anything about them. ‘You are sure, but why are you denying it? Why are you playing dumb with your feelings?’

“So what’s with the question about love for?” Krystal asked hugging her knees, staring at me.

“Eh, I don’t know. Seems like a good question to ask because all the answers are never the same.”

“Mmmm…” She nodded her head up and down silently.

“Well there has to be a reason, Amber.”

“Not everything has to have a reason. Sometimes we do it just for the sake of doing it. So, what is love?” ‘Look Amber, OPEN YOUR EYES!’

“For me?” She asked smiling, pointing at herself.

I rolled my eyes, “No for the grass that is being squished by your .” I sarcastically said.

“Love personally, is someone who can love even the ugliest sides of me.‘I don’t think any aspect of you is ugly. Even when you’re snoring.’ I’m a perfectionist, I’m very temperamental, and high maintenance. I have a cold attitude, I’m violent on occasions, and stubborn. ‘All of the qualities that I love about you the most.’ I get mad really easily and am too proud for my own good. Most people just think I’m a pretty face, even after getting to know me. That’s why I only keep a close niche of friends. I just want someone who even through everything that has happened to say, “I’ve seen the worst and the best that you have to offer, and I’m still in love with you.”

She looks so sad. I know it’s because of me. I know she’s been longing to hear those three words that she would throw right at me any given time of day. ‘I would say it a million times even when you’re sick and tired of it.’

 “Love is blind because it can’t see all the imperfections that one has. Love is opening your heart and letting it be vulnerable all for the sake of that one person.” ‘Are you so blind? Can you not see that this girl is the only reason you’ll ever need?’

We sat motionless, silence sweeping over us. Both pondering our next set of action. I want, I really do want to tell her so bad that I love her just as much as she loves me but what’s holding me back? What am I so scared of?

I started picking at the grass and piling them up in a pile. I don’t know what to do with myself. What is there to lose?

“Amber?”

“Huh?” I looked up at her.

I saw tears falling from her eyes. I went to go wipe them away but she gently pushed my hands back. She stood up and continued to silently cry. I also got up ready to go comfort her but she took a step back.

“Krystal…what’s wrong?”

“I love you, Amber.”

“…Krystal, I..” ‘I love you too.’

“I know, Amber. You don’t need to explain it to me. I blame myself.”

“It’s not your fault. I don’t blame you.”

“Then what’s holding you back?! I know you feel the same but yet you do nothing about it! I know you’re not blaming me, but I am.”

“Krystal, just listen.” I chased after her as she ran out of the park.

When she arrived at the street a car pulled up. She opened the door, getting in. Before she could close it, I grabbed it pulling it back open.

“Krystal, listen to me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I don’t why I’m being like this, please. Don’t take it the wrong way. I’m confused at myself. I really do lo—“

“Save it, Amber. I understand. I should’ve just left it as it is. I’ll see you at school.” She said before closing the door and the car drove off.

“…love you too….” I finished my sentence.

What is love?‘ Love is something that just slipped from my fingers.’

Soojung, be mad at me, hate me, ignore me. Do whatever you like but this stupid heart of mine is new to this. It feels all the things that you feel towards me but hides like a coward.

Do whatever you like with my heart because unconsciously, it has always been yours.

Just promise me one thing….

XxxxxX

No One’s POV:

Krystal was silently sitting in the car staring at the passing street lights that dimly lit the empty sidewalks of Seoul.

*BUZZ, BUZZ*

Krystal ignored her phone not in the mood to be talking to anyone at the moment. After a few minutes the message reminder sounded.

*BUZZ, BUZZ*

She took out her phone and stared at it for a while. She’s been staring at her phone the whole ride home. After having a battle with her mind on whether to open the message or not since it was sent from the person who her heart is crying out to the most.

She opened the message.

“Don’t give up on me.”

(A/N: So has anyone ever almost updated a chapter for the wrong story? I DID! Good thing i caught it before i updated this chapter under 'Ups and Down's of Love. ^_^V I'm pretty sure everyone would've been like "wtf?!" S

Sooorry for the long wait. I've been swamped with work and meetings. I haven't even had time to fangirl! Anyways, JUST A FEW CHAPTERS LEFT. TT.TT

COMMENT, SUBSCRIBE, and What is love to you guys? )