“Hwanhee...”, Dongyeol spoke up one evening around three days after the older went to see Kogyeol. He still felt guilty but going to see him had really helped. Hwanhee started to be more like himself again which encouraged Dongyeol to finally tell him the truth.

“What is it?” Hwanhee questioned. The two of them were hanging out at his place for a change. Dongyeol fidgeted with his fingers nervously. He sat on the older’s bed cross-legged and now looked at his friend who lay next to him, playing some game on his phone.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you...”, Dongyeol said carefully. Hwanhee put his phone aside and sat up. “So...the other night when you got drunk...do you remember anything at all?” Hwanhee looked down at his knees.

“Um...why? Did...uh...did I do anything stupid?” he asked awkwardly. Dongyeol sighed. He knew Hwanhee remembered now. He could tell by the older’s troubled expression.

“How long were you going to pretend?” he asked. “I wasn’t-...it’s complicated”, Hwanhee stammered. “Complicated? You kissed me! Out of nowhere!” Dongyeol exclaimed. “I know!” “And then you pretended to have forgotten! I don’t see what’s so complicated about that”, Dongyeol almost yelled. “You were talking about feelings and all that so what the hell was I supposed to do!?” Hwanhee jumped up from his bed.

“What exactly are those feelings anyway?” he asked. Dongyeol got up as well. “What, now you care? I like you, Hwanhee that is what those feelings are!” he yelled at his best friend. “And when you kissed me the other night I should’ve been happy about it but I knew you only did it because you were drunk and felt guilty because of Kogyeol!”

Hwanhee turned away from him and ruffled his hair in frustration. Dongyeol regretted bringing it up. He should have just kept his damn feelings to himself but part of him had hoped that his best friend might actually feel the same.

“Since when?” Hwanhee questioned. “A while...”, Dongyeol said. Hwanhee said and turned back around to face the younger. “I’m not gay, Dongyeol”, he said. “And I should not have kissed you...I didn’t tell you that I remember because I don’t want to remember. I’m not gay. It’s okay if you are but...I think it’s for the best if we don’t hang around each other for a while...to let things cool off...”, Hwanhee explained.

Tears were b in Dongyeol’s eyes and threatened to fall any minute now. This was not how it should have turned out. He pushed past Hwanhee, snatching his jacket off the older’s desk chair before storming out. Getting rejected was one thing but Hwanhee had basically just ended their friendship.

Now that he was outside Dongyeol let the tears stream over his face as he made his way to the only other person he ever fully relied on.

~

“Mr Go’s condition hasn’t changed over the past two weeks. It is still uncertain when he’ll wake up...” Dr Park told Jinwook. “But you’re sure that he’ll wake up, right?” “He was lucky. I’ve seen worse ice hockey accidents in my days”, Dr Park replied. “However, we’ve been talking to a psychologist and she said that there is a possibility that Mr Go doesn’t want to wake up...”, he continued.

Jinwook furrowed his brows. Why wouldn’t Kogyeol want to wake up? “What do you mean?” he questioned. “Well, our subconscious sometimes holds us back. Like with amnesia. Sometimes our brain doesn’t want to remember a certain thing like a traumatic experience – so it doesn’t. Now, with Mr Go it could be quite similar. Maybe something – or someone – is subconsciously holding him back”, the doctor explained.

“So...he won’t wake up until that ‘something or someone’ is dealt with?” Jinwook asked. “We believe so. But we’re not 100% certain. Is there a person who hasn’t visited yet? Someone who’s important to him?” Dr Park asked. Jinwook thought about it for a moment. The whole team had come to visit him on multiple occasions, even Hwanhee. Maybe the person he really needed was...

“His mother!” Jinwook exclaimed. “They don’t really have the best relationship anymore and she hasn’t bothered to come here yet...” “That could be it. A strained relationship with a relative could cause him to subconsciously believe that he doesn’t have anything to wake up to”, he doctor agreed.

“Not even if he has someone else who cares about him like you do. It’s not his fault and it’s not yours”, he added when he saw Jinwook’s face fall.

Jinwook nodded slowly. He had to get Kogyeol’s mom to come here at all cost. Maybe she really was the reason for Kogyeol not waking up. “Thank you, doctor. I’ll talk to his mother first thing tomorrow morning. I want to spend the last hour of visiting hours with him...” Dr Park nodded and took off with an encouraging smile and a gentle pat on Jinwook’s shoulder.